Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Twittwooo I am so so so sorry to hear your news. Hope you get lots of support over the forthcoming weeks. I'll be thinking of you x

Thanks Biscuits, you're so kind.

I'm really trying to stay positive and not dwell on things. Onwards and upwards! The midwife said to try again whenever feels right for us and that there is no real reason to wait, although she did remind me that the official line is to wait for a period. I think we will wait a month, just to give us both a break emotionally, but at almost 34 I'm not getting any younger!

Sending lots of positive wishes to you all. xx

I'm so glad you got a nice helpful caring mw to speak to. From what I can work out (based on no medical knowledge whatsoever) they like you to have had a period so they can date things should you fall pg straight away again. But I know what you mean about wanting a break. It is so emotional and the important thing is that the two of you feel ready to go again. Do take care of yourselves x

Morning, everyone. Really hope milky and twittwooo had a good nights sleep and have some postive signs this morning x

Can I ask for some advice, dr google is scaring me...I've had constant pain in my lower left tummy for 24 hours now and not just when I move/cough? Does anyone know what this is and if I should be worried (which I am!!)

I think you're right, although I fell pregnant straight away after my mc last month and my GP and I managed to work out the dates. The midwife today agreed with these, so I think as long as you take a note of when you had sex and got a positive test it's fairly straightforward. Just in case that helps anyone!

I think we do need a break for a month though, I might even have coffee, a few drinks and eat what I like! xx

Morning Shell, no positive signs for me I'm afraid (details above).

Could it just be stretching pains? I've no experience of that kind of thing I'm afraid, but if everything else is fine it could just be that your body is moving and changing as the pregnancy progresses.

I hope it's nothing to worry about, but maybe phone your GP in the morning to put your mind at rest.

x

Shell how far along are you (sorry if I should know this already - struggling to catch up with where everyone is). As Twittwooo says it could be stretching pains?

Hi twittwoo really sorry things haven't improved overnight

biscuits I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow...I've had a similar pain when coughing or moving and put it down to stretching but this is just there all the time, which I can't find any positive comments about when googling!

Think you are right, I'll go docs if still there tomorrow, thanks x

twittwoo I'm so so sorry, stupid iPhone, I missed yourposts. So very sorry that you are going thru this again, glad you feel you are coping ok but take the time you need to look after yourself x Hope you are being looked after in RL xxx

Shell, that's okay - you've got your own worries. I really hope everything is fine. And stop googling - it really doesn't help!

I'm coping okay so far, but the cramps are getting worse. I'm trying to get some work done today but haven't been very productive so far! My husband is at work today, and he's feeling sad too, but we will look after each other when he's home. I think I might have to go to bed with a hot water bottle now.

Let us know how you get on Shell. x

Hope you can doze off for a bit, and the pain eases off xxx

twitwoo I am so sorry to hear about your situation deteriorating. Life is truly unfair sometimes.

milky hope that the dried apricots are helping you out.

I struggle badly with constipation sometimes too. I don't want to force myself to go as I worry that straining could dislodge the baby. Probably a ridiculous thought, but that's what I think. I can't believe that I would be prepared to share stories about not sodaily ablutions, but just so you know, you aren't alone. Granted I haven't been bleeding as a result of it.

Sorry I can't help you on your pains shell but I think it is good to check things out if you are worried.

freelance I haven't even considered checking the due in 2012 threads. That is presumptuous in my case I think. However, it doesn't sound good for the girl who had her dates put back by 3 weeks. That will never end well when that happens in early pg. (It's what happened to me last time around.)

I had dinner last night with a friend who is pg. I had to ask all the questions about her pg and plans and everything. It was almost like doing it through gritted teeth. I was quite shocked when she asked me if DH and I were trying again. I was on the H2O last night with the excuse that I had a slight headache. We are seeing other friends tonight and DH wants me to have a glass of beer tonight to not let them think that I'm pg. She would pick up on my abstinence for sure. He is adamant that no one that we know should know until 12 weeks. I don't think having the odd glass of beer/wine once a week is really going to do any damage. I know medical advise says, absolutely none. However, I don't think that my mcs have been caused by one small glass of wine a week. Is everyone else totally on the wagon? I must sound really bad!

Hi LAF I agree with you 1-2 units a week is fine - my DH found these French stubbies in asda which are .65 a unit , if we are having people round or, like yesterday, having a BBQ I'll have one or two of these...max 2 a week tho? hope that helps x

Oh Twoo I do hope ou?re wrong and that this is just one of those blood/clotting things you hear people tak about and re then absolutely fine ? as that DOES happen. Butif it is the worst I do hope that would mean doctors will take it all more seriously. I have had three all together but not in a row (no children ? the other two were years ago) but I also know of plenty of people who have had two in a row and then are fine for the next one. Keep us updated and remember we are here to talk to. And if it does come down to it, yes do try and enjoy yourself for the time in beween ? drinking, coffee, plan a holiday or a spa day if you can? but lets just see how the next couple of days pan out for you too.

I think that sounds like stretching pain too Shell. I have had left hand side pain too, all the way from ovulation onwards. I still have 'potential ectopic paranoia as they only saw an empty sac when I was scanned last week, hoping it was too early to see anything and I think I might go to EPU this week.

LAF it IS indeed totally a ridiculous thought that having a poo could dislodge the baby but it is also the same ridiculous thought I always have! I would definitely agree that you can have a drink. A friend I told said the best thing she found to not draw attention to herself was not to refuse a drink, just accept one and drink it slowly!

Yes the Due in March thread is fascinating to watch. There have been at least three miscarriages I have seen on there since it started but also a lot of symptoms swapping without our particular brand of added stress! Glad we have each other here to talk to.

twittwoo I am so sorry that this is happening again. :( We are all here for you if you want to talk about how you're feeling. There is a recurrent miscarriage thread in the miscarriage section with ladies like us who have had consecutive mc's. I would just like to say, just because it has happened twice, it doesn't mean it will happen again. x

shell sounds alot like round ligament pain. I had continuous pain on my left side one day during week 9 and then it switched to the other side for another whole day. I still get pains when I sit in one position for too long too.

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. I do feel a bit embarrassed now, but the blood was shocking....This morning it happened again, but no blood in the toilet so I think it is healing. Will ask the MW about this on Tuesday. I am a bit worried though because I had a 2nd degree tear with DD and last night when DH and I were "intimate" it hurt all the way up to where the piles are and had to stop.
I have had the thought of straining and dislodging the baby in the past - only because of my tear - I fear it ripping open or something, and after yesterday I am a bit more scared about this. Another lovely thing to discuss with my MW on Tuesday - I hope she is prepared for a long session of my mentalling!!

Thanks for the tip shell I picked up something similar from morrisons this afternoon. As I'm the hostess, I can be buzzing around without anyone noticing my (lack of) drinking.

Thinking of you twitwoo

Hello ladies

Just wanted to pop in and say hello.

twittwoo sorry to hear your news.

As for the poo issues - I still worry about pushing too hard and dislodging the baby!! I have also had a fair bit of back passage bleeding - it can be piles or just a little tear. I have a tear at the moment which pops when I go to the loo and squirts bright red blood everywhere. Sometimes I have to move my panty liner further back as it can bleed for an hour or so. Sorry for TMI but just wanted to share that it isnt that uncommon! Any good pile cream does the job for me :)

Also, all the little niggly crampy like pains are normal too. Can be stretching or wind (don't underestimate the power or the latter for making you freakout!)!

Just wanted to say to twoo I'm so sorry . You sound like you are coping admirably although I am sure you and your OH are devastated. I'm sure they'll be people on the mc thread with similar experiences, but if you look on the conception boards for the 'sixth form common room' when you are ready there is a group of really lovely ladies with, sadly, various mc experiences, serveral multiple. Lots of them used to be on the post mc ttc thread which I think you came from, but moved on after a while. Thinking of you x

lily good luck this week. I've been thinking of you lots.

Big wave to LILI hope you're doing ok?

milky sorry to hear about your rear bleed-sounds awful. Any better?

Waves to everyone else x

twoo I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you have lots of support in RL.

milky hope your back passage clears up soon.

I have had a relaxing weekend trying to not stress over tomorrow although thankfully it is in the morning so not too long to wait.

Had a picnic in the park today with loads of friends. Only 1 a boy noticed I wasn't drinking and asked my dp if he had something to tell them! I have caught the sun though .

Hope everyone has had a good weekend sorry for not namechecking on phone.

Hopefully back tomorrow with good news.

Ladies, for any Londoners / Southerners... a group of us in the grads thread are arranging a Sunday cake+coffee meet-up in central London within the next few weeks (so far 21st Aug seems good). We've started a thread within the pregnancy forum to arrange dates / venues etc. If you're around, please come and join!

Hi, I don't post too frequently but might I join you ladies in the freak out room? I'm pretty freaked at the minute.

I'm so sorry to read about all the difficult losses recently, I hope that everyone is coping alright. I fully expect to be there myself any moment now.

I had a MMC last November, found out the baby had died at the 12 week scan. Was a total shock as I'd had no MC symptoms and still felt pregnant. I went for conservative management and MC'd naturally at 14 weeks. Suffered heavy blood loss so spent a few days in hospital. I bled for about 3 weeks afterwards, it left me really exhausted and traumatised.

After 8 months of trying, I'm now 6 weeks today. I couldn't even get the guts to test until period was almost two weeks late. I'm trying not to be too fatalistic, but really afraid of getting my hopes up too high. I'm 36, so egg quality is probably a big issue. I don't have any DC yet, so this would be my first.

I've been on the folic acid for about 18 months and off booze / coffee for the past few weeks in case there was a chance of conception. But I can't really do any other "pregnant stuff" iyswim. Not looking at books, not thinking of baby names, haven't even rung the GP yet. Not told anyone but DH, and don't plan to unless it sticks and I get further along.

I heard the rate of loss for women 35-40 was about 1 in 3. Is that correct?

Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading.

Thanks for all the advice re my pains - they lasted all day yesterday as well but seem to have gone now. I had my worst bout of sickness yesterday (which reassured me!) so I just have to assume it is just stretching pains, was just concerning with them being constantly there.

milky still can't get my head around what happened to you at the weekend - that must have been so scary Glad it seems to have cleared up now

purple hope the scan went well

mitsouko sorry to hear about your MMC, but congrats on your new BFP I think a lot of us are the same this time round, trying to not really think about being pregnant and just carrying on as normal...it is very different from the first time as, like you say, no making of plans or thinking of names etc, but I think/hope that once the weeks tick off and you have a couple of positive scans this should naturally start to happen. Not sure on the MC rates I'm sorry, but I have tried to think of them reversed, so if your 1 in 3 stat is correct, that means 2 in 3 are successful

Hi all, Twoo Any news from you? Have you been to the hospital yet? Milky how is it goes - any more bleeding? Reassuring to hear it happens regularly to other people, but still scary! Glad you are feeling ok Purple

Misouko hi there and well done on getting pregnant. It's certainly a good first step! My last miscarriage story was quite similar to yours, started to miscarry at 12 weeks however but the baby had apparently died at 7 weeks with no symptoms. I turned 37 last week but haven't actually been putting as much issue with the age thing as you have! Is egg quality really obviously such a big issue at our age?! I hadn't looked into it (another thing to mental about I guess...). I have been diagnosed as having very high NK cells however so it would seem that is my primary problem. All I can offer in the way of comfort is just to take every day as it comes. It sounds like you are doing all the right things.

I have been to EPU this morning and I have no news really - I personally don't think it is looking good. There was still an empty sac, which they estimated to be 'around 5 weeks' (11 x 5 x 8mm) and a week ago today it was measured as 5.2 - 5.3 by Mr S. Not sure of the size at that point as rather annoyingly I didn't write it down and he and his midwife are both on leave. So I have to go back next week and see if there is anything different. Just another long waiting game! I feel like if it isn't going to work I just want to know about it so I can 'get rid of it' and try again.

Lara thanks for the invite! Don't think I am quite ready for it yet but maybe sometime in the future xx

lurking for news from purple, hope the scan went well

twittoo so sorry you are going through this again, thinking of you and your dh. I also second Collies suggestion of the common room thread for when you are ready

milky hope things have settled down there, also reassuring for me as had a very similar experience on saturday . Quite scary but seems ok now, been scoffing apricots and apple juice. Popcorn also works well

mitsuoko I didn't start bookinga ny appointments until was at least 8 weeks along this time and I still have only told my boss (and dh) I think we just try to protect ourselves, lovely to see you here

freelance so sorry it wasn't a good scan this morning, the waiting must be horrible when you just want to know either way

shellshock my pains are almost constant at the moment, sometimes when I blow my nose they are agony, this actually reassures me a bit that they are ligament and not something worse, I also get alot of wind, and I mean alot and if I can't let it out it is horribly painful . Sorry for TMI. I know what you mean about the reassuring pukiness had lots this morning and although awful was good at the same time

All Ok here apart from the usual freaking out. Got my hospital appointments through which is good but that gave me a bit of a freak out as first one is this thursday - eeek

waves to velvet, LAF, biscuits, collie and lily and everyone else and leaves hot chips for all (all I want to eat at the moment)

Hi ladies, thanks for the warm welcome, nice to know we're not alone in this.

The 1 in 3 stat was from the consultant that looked after me during the MC - that's what he said - and yes, that it was pretty much down to deteriorating egg quality. But also, not to despair, as plenty of women 35+ have successful pregnancies.

Yes, best to look at it positively as a 2 out of 3 chance - will try and do that!