Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Hi everyone, just a quick update from me. I have no real news unfortunately and am a bit stressed now about the dating. The doctor said he is cautiously optimistic that it is there but couldn't see anything in the sac as it is too early. By my LMP I should have been 6.0 today. He measured the sac about 5.2/5.3 and I have to go back in 8-10 days. I am now mentalling about my dates to see whether I might have got it wrong in terms of ovulation etc. Dr Google tells me ?the process of traveling and implanting will take somewhere around 7 to 10 days altogether?. Maybe the dating is not an exact science then? Maybe I took longer to implant? Agggh! I have no idea really.

Shell, really glad the scan went well! I can completely relate to the fact that it is not a comforting thing necessarily. I don?t think we will be comforting until we are out the other side of this all, babe in arms.

Hi to Scooby, Milky, Stitch, Martha, George, LAF, Lili and anyone I have missed. Thanks for the invite Collie too. I am actually northerner, but London based at the mo. Sorry it?s a quickie, I am probably going to go back to mentalling over my chart dates and random googling xx

shellshock Congratulations on a happy scan!!!! I also can understand that perhaps it's not too reassuring, but who knows how you would have felt a few weeks from now, you might have been freaking out more than if you'd never had the scan.

I know my 12 week scan feels a million years away!!!

freelance Sounds quite possible that you implanted a bit later I reckon. I'm sure it's not an exact science so don't stress too much - hopefully the next 8-10 days won't drag on too much.

I'm sorry for my depressing post this morning- I was in a real state. I'm really, really glad my DH is coming home from conference today - still feeling very shaky.

I remember when I was pregnant with DS (didn't even know it at that time, must have been about 5/6 weeks) Michael Jackson died. It was so weird, I cried and cried about it. When I found out I was pregnant it was like hmmmm....that's what that was about.

Haven't felt quite as effected by current events although the Oslo thing is horrific through and through.

freelance sorry the scan couldn't give you the comfort that you wanted. At least they are only putting you a few days behind what you think you are. I have read the same thing that implantation can take a week, but I'm a bit hopeless with all of the calculations. I've never had a scan where everything seems to match up, so I'm not so good for advice.

milky your SIL seems awful. Does she know about your MCs? I'm trying to avoid a lot of people as well, especially pg people. It drives me crazy when people say, I'm sure this time, it will be fine, or it will happen one day. None of those things help. Anyone who has been through RMC would never say anything so glib.

marathonmama what feelings do you have that make you think you are going to have a MMC?

lili how embarrassing for you to have to confess to a co-worker. I felt a bit sheepish too as I did a print screen to e-mail to a few colleagues and after I saw the e-mail come back to me, I saw that in the google search box was "TEG and miscarriage" I hate the thought of anyone knowing my business. I live in hope that no one took any notice of it. At least it didn't go to my boss.

marthamay you are not alone in how you feel. It is hard to feel attachment to a pg after mc as you don't want to have your heart broken again. My current strategy is to try and ignore the fact that I'm pg. It doesn't always work though.

collie I might try and snatch those Tangfastics away from you. I bought a bag when I was waiting for my RMC results and I find that I love them a lot. I'm trying to avoid buying them again, but they are divine. I love sour candy.

I'm going to St. Mary's tomorrow to start the PROMISE trial. I'm a bit annoyed as the consultant nurse was on holiday and a consultant was supposed to phone me back after last Monday. However, no one did! She didn't seem to think it was too late to start the pessaries though. Symptoms are a bit hit and miss. I woke up this morning convinced I was going to see blood, but none was there. Boobs weren't very sore this morning, but later in the afternoon, someone made toast and the smell of it made me feel ill. Driving home over the speed bumps hurt my boobs, so I think that maybe I still have a chance. My approach to this pg is different. I went swimming this morning and did gardening tonight. Before, I was scared to do anything, in case any activity would cause a mc. This time, what will be, will be.

Waves to everyone else!

Morning ladies, I wonder if I might possibly join you?

I had a mc in 2007 - I'm not sure of all the technical terms but effectively I had heavy blood loss 10 weeks in and was sent to the EPU who found that our bean had stopped developing at about 5-6 weeks. After that it was a natural mc.

We subsequently had a successful pg which resulted in DS who will be 3 soon.

This morning I have got a BFP after 19 months of ttc with not a sniff of anything until now. I know we have had a successful pg but having had the mc, I feel completely panicked about something going wrong this time too. It is really early days and we need to see what happens but would really like a bit of mutual support to get through these early weeks.

I guess I am 4+6 by LMP date but ovulated late so probably less than that in reality. A big part of my fear is related to how long it took us to get to this point and not wanting to have to start again.

Anyway, that's my story.

Hope you are all feeling ok this morning....

Welcome biscuits - i hope you get very comfy here! Congrats on the BFP. I can understand your fear after the long months of TTC. I'm sure you know and it doesnt necessarily stop the fretting, but the chances of this pg being just fine are much stronger than the risks of m/c. I know someone here kept reminding me of that in the early days, but it's so easy to be preoccupied by it going wrong again isn't it. I hope the days pass quickly for you until your first scan.

freelance sorry to hear that your scan wasn't quite what you'd hoped, although as the others have said it could be implantation took longer. I hope that you've got something to help pass the next 8-10 days without too much Dr Google and worry (way easier said than done, I know).

marthamay - sorry you've had a tough time - is your DH back now?

Right - lunchtime ladies....thanks for the tangfastics collie. I've lurked over with you a few times but just not quite ready to come over until after the scan (hopefully!). Anyway, back to fizzes - Rowntrees fruist pastille sours are fantastic, I ate so many they took the skin off the top of my mouth!

Well I gave the stats a go so hope I haven't stuffed them too much, ended up updating the grads from the grads thread as think those dates will be more recent (and it meant i only had to add on 1 day :o)

Tuesday 26 July

Lovemysleep 29+0 EDD 11/10/11
Hils74 25+4 EDD 8/11/11
Haffertee 24+3 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 24+0 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 23+5 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 23+5 EDD 17/11/11
Banana87 23+0 EDD 22/11/11
Bigmacsauce 21+6 EDD 29/11/11
Jigglebum 20+5 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 20+3 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 19+1
Dooscooby 18+5 EDD 22/12/11
Harassed 18+4 EDD 22/12/11 next scan 02/08/2011
Hadrian 18+3 EDD 25/12/11 next scan 15/08/11
Youremindmeofthebabe 16+5 EDD 5/1/12 next scan 19/8/11
Freezingmyarseoff 16+4 EDD 6/1/12 next scan 18/8/11
Updiffed 16+3
Milkyways 16+2 EDD 08/01/12 Next scan 22/08/2011
Hairylights 15+5
Bump 15+3 EDD 14/01/12
Mamarara 14+5
Laylasmummy09 14+4
Lily06 14+3 EDD 21/01/12 Next scan 25/08/11
Pigletmania 14+2
ladybird33 14+2 EDD 22/1/12 Next scan 5/8/11
purpletoes 11+5 EDD 09/02/12 next scan 01/08/2011
MrsSteph 9+2 Next scan 20/07/11
Shellshock7 9+0 EDD 29/02/12
Stitchinline 9+0

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 38+2 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 34+2 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 33+3 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 33+0 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 31+0 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 31+0 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 30+6 EDD 28/9/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 30+3 EDD 01/10/11
Emoo 29+4 EDD 7/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 27+1 EDD 24/10/11
Onions 27+1 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 27+1 EDD 23/10/11
Velvetcu 27+0 EDD 25/10/11
MummyAbroad 25+4 EDD 4/11/11
CEP 25+3 EDD 5/11/11 next scan 19/8/11
CollieandPup 23+2 EDD 20/11/11 next scan 6/7/2011
Katherine2008 24+5 EDD 10/11/11
wombatinwaiting 22+5 EDD 24/11/11
LaraMi 22+4 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 22+3 EDD 26/11/11
Blackkat 21+1 EDD 5/12/11 Next scan 26/07/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504, Mistress P, willitbe

freelance sorry you didn't get a more comforting scan, hoping the next week flies by and you can see all is going well soon.

Top work on the list front stitch - thanks for doing that.

Hope everyone has had a decent-ish day - mine has been hectic so I'm glad its home time now.

Hi everyone - I'm delurking to say hello to all the newcomers and congratulations on all the BFPs. Anyone heard from ladybird?

I've moved myself to the grads list and added a day to my stats. Hope I haven't stuffed anyone's up!

I'm off to cook tea now

Tuesday 26 July

Lovemysleep 29+0 EDD 11/10/11
Hils74 25+4 EDD 8/11/11
Haffertee 24+3 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 24+0 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 23+5 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 23+5 EDD 17/11/11
Banana87 23+0 EDD 22/11/11
Jigglebum 20+5 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 20+3 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 19+1
Dooscooby 18+5 EDD 22/12/11
Harassed 18+4 EDD 22/12/11 next scan 02/08/2011
Hadrian 18+3 EDD 25/12/11 next scan 15/08/11
Youremindmeofthebabe 16+5 EDD 5/1/12 next scan 19/8/11
Freezingmyarseoff 16+4 EDD 6/1/12 next scan 18/8/11
Updiffed 16+3
Milkyways 16+2 EDD 08/01/12 Next scan 22/08/2011
Hairylights 15+5
Bump 15+3 EDD 14/01/12
Mamarara 14+5
Laylasmummy09 14+4
Lily06 14+3 EDD 21/01/12 Next scan 25/08/11
Pigletmania 14+2
ladybird33 14+2 EDD 22/1/12 Next scan 5/8/11
purpletoes 11+5 EDD 09/02/12 next scan 01/08/2011
MrsSteph 9+2 Next scan 20/07/11
Shellshock7 9+0 EDD 29/02/12
Stitchinline 9+0

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 38+2 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 34+2 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 33+3 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 33+0 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 31+0 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 31+0 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 30+6 EDD 28/9/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 30+3 EDD 01/10/11
Emoo 29+4 EDD 7/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 27+1 EDD 24/10/11
Onions 27+1 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 27+1 EDD 23/10/11
Velvetcu 27+0 EDD 25/10/11
MummyAbroad 25+4 EDD 4/11/11
CEP 25+3 EDD 5/11/11 next scan 19/8/11
CollieandPup 23+2 EDD 20/11/11 next scan 6/7/2011
Katherine2008 24+5 EDD 10/11/11
wombatinwaiting 22+5 EDD 24/11/11
LaraMi 22+4 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
Bigmacsauce 22+0 EDD 29/11/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 22+3 EDD 26/11/11
Blackkat 21+1 EDD 5/12/11 Next scan 26/07/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504, Mistress P, willitbe

Hey ladies
Hope you all had good weekends. We went camping which was lovely but air bed broke so ended up sleeping on cold hard floor. Pregnant lady + cold hard floor + no sleep = rar. So tired I think I could cry! Still otherwise lovely weekend! Although dd kicked me really hard in the stomach (it was an accident she didn't mean it) and my tummy is still sore to the touch 2 days later - a whole new paranoia has now begun! Hope it's all fine and I am panicking over nothing.

Welcome to newbies! Congrats on bfps and hope you have a boring and dull 9 months :)

freelance with my dd they put me back over a week in dates which I know couldn't have been possible period/shag wise. They said implantation times vary and also babies develop at really different rates specially early on. So am sure the date change is ok. Also happybirthday!

Right on bus must dash or will miss stop.

And YES to tangfastics! That and reversey Percys from m&s.

Evening ladies,

Thank you for the words of welcome - I am still so freaked out so I figure the 'Freak out room' is just the place for me.

Freelance I don't really have any wise words as we're so far off even getting to a scan, but thought maybe I could send you a hug?

Oh, and I have had a bit of a panic today too (the first of many most likely). Was helping DS to stand up from lying down, nothing too strenuous, nothing like picking him up or anything just holding his hands while he stood up, and I suddenly felt a bit of a pull down my right hand side (like where you get ov pains but a sharper pain) and it has been a bit achey there ever since. :(

I am so so so worried that it could all go wrong so early on :(

Hello Biscuits! All hugs and hand holding gratefully accepted . I was worried too as my first BFP this time was just a faint line, but a line is a line is a line. I did a CB one a few days later and it said pregnant. But it?s definitely a positive! You are pregnant. My fear is now that if I did another CB one the 1-2 weeks wouldn?t have gone up to 3-4 and I would be terrified that meant the levels were low! But I don?t have one in the house and am not going to buy one. So all I can do now is wait for my next scan which is on the 11th August. A full 16 days away!! At least at that stage I will hopefully know one way or the other.

Thanks Scooby, Mamarara, Martha, Stitch, LAF and others too about the positive words about the scan and also experience with back-dating. Martha, hope you are feeling a bit more positive now. I am now less mentalling about the dates and hoping I am right in thinking I actually ovulated a bit later than I thought. Also Dr Google seems to know of lots of people who have measured a few days out and been fine.

LAF very exciting about your Promise Trial thing. You must tell us all about it!

I think some of you know that I am being treated for high NK cells. Well today I also tried acupuncture. The chap said I had a nice strong pregnancy pulse which was one good thing! He also said the acupuncture would hopefully increase blood flow to the uterus, help balance the immune system and generally promote health and wellbeing that should hopefully serve to further support the pregnancy. Funny thing is, the mild cramps are back and I am hoping that means the blood is indeed flowing! But why did the cramps go away?? Are they a good thing, are they are a bad thing?? It is nice to actually be feeling something though, rather than just eating everything I can get my hands on.

Biscuits, does that pain you had sound like round ligament pain? If so, it is a good thing! But I know where you are coming from, as my above mentalling about the cramps demonstrates.

Hello to everyone else! Am off to google some more?

Oooh what is round ligament pain?

Freelance fingers crossed those 16 days go quickly (although I know how hard that is). Do you have anything nice planned in the meantime?

Ah, it was one of my googling sessions for hours the other night! And then the next day I had forgotten the term! But round ligament pain is basically the stretching of the ligaments and muscles around the uterus. They say it is mainly in the second trimester but so many people online say they have had it in the first. It seems to take two forms - one that you sound like you're having when you stretch or sneeze and get a sharper pain. And then mild cramping can be attributed to it too, even going down to the groin and hip area which I think I might have had.

I do actually have some nice things planned - a weekend in Brighton this weekend and the following one in a posh hotel in Amsterdam! That will distract me I guess. And am looking forward to my next acupuncture session already a week today.

Ah, I think I might be a bit early for uterus stretching type things - not even 5 weeks yet . Still it has gone off a bit after a nice restful evening.

Enjoy Brighton and Amsterdam - sounds lovely!!! I am a wee bit xx

Phew, it has been a busy day for me! I went up to St. Mary's to get my medicine for the trial. I couldn't leave home as early as I would have liked as people kept calling me all morning. It was a real challenge as the circle line wasn't running to paddington and I had to take a replacement bus and was anxiously watching the clock as I wasn't sure I was going to make it in before the clinic finished. I did make it in under the wire though. Note to self, have to take the Bakerloo line next time!

I started taking the pessaries and sorry if TMI, but for those taking pessaries, do you have a lot of discharge? It is a bit unreal at the moment and kinda gross. The nurse was speaking to me as if I was a pg person. I don't really look at myself as pg. I didn't want to bother her with my neuroses, so I just smiled and pretended like I also agreed that I was pg.

I was supposed to do the repeat bloods for TEG, but I couldn't wait so long. There was someone giving blood who had 3 people in with her as she was really struggling and I couldn't wait to queue as I had to get back for a conference call. Again, I just made it back for that, then I had to rush to the GP.

He confirmed that I don't have a urine infection, but did comment on the discharge. I explained that I just started taking pessaries, so I thought it was related. I wasn't happy with him (not my normal GP). I asked to have my Vit D levels checked and he said that there was no link between Vit D and RMC and thought it was nonsense to get tested. I had to explain that I was under RMC care, but they only look at clotting and I wanted to get checked. He again tried to dissuade me, but commented that I seemed really nervous and would agree to the blood test. Honestly, I feel like I have to manage my own care. Everyone looks at their own little bit. It doesn't seem like there is a holistic view point for RMC. I doubt this GP studies up on RMC to know the latest research.

freelance I'm intrigued by the thought of a pregnancy pulse. IMHO, I don't think that you should have cramps all of the time, so I wouldn't worry if you don't feel them all the time.

biscuits hormones change so much in early pregnancy. If you got a line, it's a line. How your contact could dispute that is a bit strange.

TTFN!

I'm not sure about it being too early for stretching type thingys biscuits, but who bloody knows! As we say, we seem to be our own doctors these days.

Talking of which, interesting but busy sounding day LAF! Am chuckling (in an ironic, only those who have had this miscarriage experience can do way) about your 'she was talking to me like a pregnant person'. It's like when I was chatting to someone at a clinic going through the same treatment as me, just as I got my BFP and she asked me whether I wanted a vaginal birth or a C section! I almost fell off my chair. I would have been less surprised to have been asked whether this time I wanted a natural mc or a ERPC... What is the trail all about? I haven't heard of it before you mentioned it. What is the plan for you?

That GP sounds like a right tw@t if you excuse my language. I hate it when they say things like - oh you seem very nervous. Glad he agreed to the blood test but tbh I would take an extra 25mcg of Vit D anyway. It can do no harm and he is completely wrong in saying there's no evidence of it helping. Quite the contrary. Boots does their own brand Vit D3 in a silver box and red writing. What's more annoying about that GP is he dismissed what you were saying as no, he cannot be clued up on all new research all the time and he is certainly not an expert in RMC.

Hi everyone :)

freelance sorry your scan left you mentalling, and I am glad that you feel a bit more relaxed now. It sounds like you're not too many days out though. Like you said it can take a few days for the egg to implant. Also, did you have an abdominal scan or internal, and do you know if you have a tilted uterus? All these factors can cause a change in dates. Also, I think the cramps are good in the sense that it means your uterus is stretching. I had alot of these pains around week 9 I think - and they would start from the side of my pubic bone and go up to my ovaries.

mamarara I've had my DD kick, jump and walk over my belly since my BFP...She also threw a book at my head yesterday, but that's another story! I am sure the pain you have is just in the stomach muscles, as baby is well cushioned in there. Definitely go and see a doctor for reassurance though.

biscuits Welcome to the thread! Well to me, a positive is a positive - congratulations! Hopefully everything will work out great this time.

LAF I've just read your post, and TBH, my blood is boiling over your GP's attitude and choice of words. What an idiot. You're right, he obviously hasn't read any recent papers, because my GP was the one who first told me about the link between Vit D and RMC, and if it wasn't for her, my consultant wouldn't have given me a Vit D test. It's really sad, but I have noticed particularly from the RMC thread, that alot of women have to handle their own care. I know I have. I know it's weird when someone talks to you like you're pregnant! I felt like a fraud everytime I went to the EPU for my scan.

Nothing to report here. I have my 16 week check up with another MW next week, I hope she is better than the last one I had; she was very distant and unsympathetic about my history which made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Waves to everyone!! Good night...or morning...:)

Yes, the question she asked me is "have I thought where I'd give birth" I practically fell off my chair. I have pregnancy books and magazines and I've kept them firmly shut in the book shelf drawer where I can't see them. All the other times, I've had them on the table and flipped through them. Not this time. I was so angry after the first mc that I threw the baby names book in the recycle bin. I gave back all of the pg books that were lent to me because I couldn't have them in the house. Then the second pg came and I bought my own books. They have to remain out of sight for some time.

Hi lovely ladies. Just de-lurking for a bit to add some reassurance for LAF on the pessaries. I had 1 x 400mg cyclogest per day and yes, there is a lot of discharge - sometimes I wondered if they had actually been doing their bit but I was reassured by another mner that they are. What I tried to do was put it in as soon as I woke up, went back for a snooze then had a shower to get rid of most of it and I was fine for the rest of the day. On days when this didn't quite work, I used a panty liner. There is a lady called pinkfondantfancy on the grads thread who also gave me some tips using them as a suppository but I couldn't quite bring myself to do this, but she swore by it (less discharge too I believe).

I was also given 1 x 75mg asprin per day and very happy to report that after 1 natural mc at around 7 weeks and 1 mmc around 10 weeks, I'm now 23 weeks - still in a bit of but obviously delighted too! The frustrating thing of course is not knowing whether I would have been ok with this pg anyway (go away, jinx pixies if you heard that) or whether it was down to the progestrone supp and/or asprin.

Good luck to you all - one day at a time and repeat the mantra "symptoms come and go" - easy for me to say now, I know, but it does help.

I woke up thinking - ooh I forgot to mention the progesterone to LAF :) Must get out more...

I am actually not finding the discharge too much of a problem. Are you putting it in at night? I remember hearing that the, er, back way might also work too but so far I have been ok with the front way. There is a bit of white goo throughout the day but it's not too hideous. I have the occasional blob of discharge that seems unrelated too but I think that's just pregnancy. Every time I get something I am terrified it is going to be bloody! Which is silly really as last time I started bleeding a good 5 weeks after the baby had apparently died (of course I didn't know that at the time) so the absence of blood isn't exactly a comfort either.

Wombat that is indeed really, really good to hear that you are so far along and doing so well. Let's hope that the aspirin and progesterone did provide a helping hand!

It was an internal scan Milky and tilted uterus has never been mentioned. I did once get told by a very slimy doctor in Spain that I have a 'profound vagina' but I don't think that's relevant to the sac thing! No-one has mentioned it since...

Gosh all these pessaries sound like a scary business! I do hope they are doing the job for all you lovely ladies though.

Is this a bit odd, but my trousers feel really tight round the waist today. I am finding it uncomfortable unless I sit really straight backed - I can't have my tummy crumpled at all if you see what i mean. Is 5 weeks not a bit soon for tight trousers?

Oh, and Freelance I just love the idea of a 'profound vagina' - made me laugh out loud that one! I can't believe it doesn't come up in conversation more often :)

Me too! I feel I should whisper it to people when I sit down next to them in dinner parties and pubs :)

I reckon you could also use that line to get a seat on a crowded trail