Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Just wanted to say congratulations, Twitwoo. I remember your posts on the mc at 6 weeks thread - good to see you on here. That was really quick! Fingers crossed I'll be joining you one day soon.

Thank you notnowImreading, I remember you from the other thread too. Your posts were really supportive. How are you getting on? I hope you're doing well.

It has happened again very quickly for us and I'm thankful for that, but of course I'm a bit nervous too and taking each day at a time at the moment.

I really hope you will be in the same situation very soon - fingers crossed, and I'll keep my eye out for good news from you on these threads! x

Hi all, just marking my spot as everyone left and didn't tell me

I'm 6 weeks today but convinced it's going to be another mmc. I just knew last time and feel the same again.

Anyway, will add more later waves

Hello All you newbies sorry for your losses and congratulations on your new pregnancies
LILI80 I had those pains a lot in the eavenings til 12 weeks sort of 3days on 2 0ff they really worried me as I hadn't had them with my DD and they were really painful but I think it was just stretching,

All good here booked my 16 wk mw appt and got normal NT measurement so just hoping bloods come back good, hyperemesis playing me up though my meds dose has been lowered and I'm feeling dreadful constantly and I am also having nightmares, they are strange reccurring ones in one I'm on a plane with oh and dd when the enginesa cut out all the children start screaming and then it plummets but I always wake up before it hits the ground, in another a plane crashes down infront of me and I'm just watching unable to do anything and in the other its like my baby is dangerous like a killer or cancer or an alien and its born early by fighting its way out of my tummy leaving an open hole its awful.
Thanx doo for sorting out the thread,
Hello everyone else, have a good weekend all x

Hi Marathon sorry to hear you are feeling like that. How are you feeling today? I am feeling a bit like that too - convinced it's going to happen again. I have only the occasional symptom and no sore boobs, nothing. Just hungry. Tummy swollen but probably with steroids and eating for England! I am six weeks on Monday and will be having a first scan.

LAF your journey home sounds like a nightmare! Just not what you need when feeling so ropey. Glad you are feeling ropey, though. Must be quite comforting to have some symptoms.

Lili I have been having a few mild cramps too and they freak me out. I looked up these and it does seem they are perfectly normal. But for me that's how I became aware of the mmc last time so of course it's going to freak us out. There's a name for them that I was googling like mad yesterday and this morning my brain just can't dig it out!! I freak out when I get them, freak out when i don't get them. Can't win!

Great news Laylas about your scans etc but those dreams sound awful! Really frightening. I have always been told that bad dreams mean good things in real life though so try to think of it as your mind just working through it all.

Good luck to my fellow 'scanees' in the next few days! It's my birthday tomorrow and having a big picnic at which will be trying to pretend to a) be drinking and b) not be freaking out about Monday's scan.

Hi Ladies, can i join in your group? I had a complete mc in May, i was into my 8th week, but bean had stopped growing at about 6 1/2 wks. I only found out after spotting began and then 3 days later had internal scan. bled for 2 wks solid then had another scan which confirmed all was over. So heartbroken. Doc told us to wait til i got a period then ttc again.

We didn't wait ha! And am pg again woohoo! Have an idea on how far along i am, think i'm about 7wks...

Had a scan booked for Friday, but had to cancel it as fiance could not join me. So may book in for scan next week if feeling brave enough...

Still have my symptoms of big heavy boobs, and bloating, no sign of ms and did not have this last time either.

Its such a worry tho, i don't want to get too confident in this pg yet, just incase.. i feel like a doom n gloomer

LAF That is terrible - you have every right to complain. I've lied about how far I was in pregnancy with my DD, but that was to complain to the council about next door's dog that broke into our garden and chased me when I was about 24 weeks pregnant!

LILI I had those pains in early pregnancy too and I was very distressed, but they are nothing more than round ligament pain. It is just your uterus stretching and things moving about. During week 9, I had a whole 2 days of cramps and pains shooting from my pelvis up to the area my ovaries are. Try not to worry, although it is hard not to.

laylasmummy I've been having nightmares about 4 nights in a row now. They really are terrible dreams that I can't even bring myself to repeat....I just hope they stop soon!

freelance Hope you have a lovely birthday! I was watching Friends this morning - the one when Rachel is pregnant on Monica's wedding and she spits out the champagne back into the glass! Hope you're more subtle than that tomorrow!

Livinthemoment Welcome to the thread, I am sure you will get the right support here. It's hard to get confident in a pregnancy when it has been taken away from you before, but fx everything will work out fine for you this time!

freelance happy birthday and good luck for the scan tomorrow along with anyone else who are also having scans - really hope it goes ok.

Thanks to everyone who replied about the period type pains - I didn't have any yesterday but have got some more this morning.

Yesterday I went to Boots to get some pregnancy vits and I got to the checkout so be served by someone I work with!! I forgot she had a part time job there. Well anyway she saw the vits and said "are you?" I was so embarrassed and flustered so I said yes but it was very very early days. She said she won't tell anyone at work.

but I was so upset that she now knows - especially as I haven't told my parents yet! Also it felt awful telling her as I still can't quite believe it myself and I'm so worried it's all going to end! I don't think she will say anything but still...

Had a horrible dream last night. My friend is due to give birth next month and I had a dream she had a baby boy while I started to bleed and realised it was all over

Sorry about wallowing but needed to off load. Hope everyone else is okxxx

Oh gosh Lili that must have been awful when you got to the counter and realised!!! My local corner shop people have a tendency to be over familiar, meaning I never go in there for anything personal. If you go and buy bread and jam for example they say 'oh have a lovely breakfast' so I am not going to go in there for, say, tampons :) But that is a real pain for you. Hope they have some sort of confidentiality conversation when they start work there. Of course you could have said you were 'trying' as they do recommend you take them prior to conception too but I wouldn't have been able to think that quickly in that position either.

That sounds like an awful dream too. I wish we all didn't have to go through all of this.

Round ligament pain - thanks Milky that's what I was looking for. I spent all Friday googling it and then by Saturday I had totally forgotten what it was called! I guess maybe I DO have at least one pregnancy symptom in the brain at least. Actually I did wake up feeling a tad nauseous in the middle of the night and I have never felt so grateful to feel a bit queasy. Feeling fine now though.

Welcome to the thread Livinginthemoment. I think I can safely say we all share the same worries. I wonder what I am even doing on this thread being that I might not even be pregnant when it comes to the next scan. We just have to take it day by day. Today we are pregnant.

And today it is my birthday! We are having a big picnic down on Brighton beach, there's bunting, balloons and I will be pretending to quaff wine with a lot of friends. Great thing about picnics is I can tip a glass or two over and no-one will notice :) Have a great day everyone.

Happy birthday freelance as it happens, we are heading to Brighton on the train today, so if I see a birthday party I might wander over and be a weirdo. I'm wearing a red flowery seventies dress. Good luck for your scan tomorrow. I would be so happy if I don't bleed before my scan in 10 days time.

milky I noticed that pregnacare has 300% bit D3. Are you taking any supplements for D6 and D12? They aren't listed as part of the ingredients on the package.

This is a bit embarrassing, but does anyone else have strong smelling wee? I've noticed mine is really pungent. Dr. Google says that this can happen in pg. HCG can be the cause of this. Im going to ask the GP about it too at my appt.

I've been good and not taken the clear blue again to see if it tells me my HCG has gone up. I realise it won't change the outcome and I have to accept each day as it comes. I need to phone St. Mary's tomorrow as no one got back to me last week about the promise trial. Maybe it's too late for me to be on it now. Perhaps you have to start from day 1 of your pg.

Hello everyone, would you mind if I joined in? I've been lurking for a week or so but would really appreciate having somewhere to turn in those weird, panicky, scary moments that make no sense to anyone else!

I'm now 5+3 pregnant, two cycles after a mmc - bean had died around 7-8 weeks but only found out at 12 weeks, that was back in May.

I'm terrified about my symptoms stopping because that's what happened last time, around the 9 week mark, and I just knew, even though people kept on telling me not to be silly. It was not a real surprise at the scan, just sad sad sad.

I'm poas too many times a week and knicker checking crazily. To be honest, not bleeding doesn't really make me feel reassured.

It's really hard isn't it - not knowing how much emotional energy to invest in this pregnancy, hardly letting yourself even feel happy about it but at the same time really, really wanting to but being afraid of getting too attached.
Sorry, I'm rambling...!

Good luck to those of you having scans tomorrow, fingers crossed for you.

Hi Martha sorry about your miscarriage. Sounds like the same kind of dates I had too - found out at 12 weeks that it had died at 7ish. My symptoms had eased but I was thinking that was because I had got towards placenta time. But then I started to cramp and had an awfully long and painful drawn out natural mc.

Anyway, here we are again and yes it is indeed terrifying. I am having no symptoms really so that is even worse. Just makes you think the worse! And yes, not bleeding is not reassuring when you think of missed miscarriages. But all we can do is hope for the best! Nice to have people who an empathise.

LAF I think I had the wee thing last time. I am not sure this time as I am taking progesterone suppositories and they make everything a bit white and waxy (nice!). I remember having pungent discharge last time too. Well done for not taking the CB test. I feel so tempted to buy one and see whether I have gone up to 2-3 weeks. Scan tomorrow anyway. Terrified!

In the meantime though, do come and say hello! We are actually going to be in Brunswick Square gardens with a gazebo, table of food, some balloons and some bunting :) I am swarthy looking (brown, long dark hair) in a purple maxi dress. I will be the one pretending to drink. Come and say hello, it would be hilarious! Make up something like we used to work together years ago, just as I am not out of the mn/pregnancy closet with any of my friends. We could whisper our real names to each other when we hug and say 'Wow, haven't seen you for ages!'

LAF I'm not taking supplements for D6 or D12. D3 is the most important form of Vit D as it promotes absorption of calcium in the body amongst other things. I found this paper really reassuring when I was diagnosed with Vit D deficiency.

Also, in regards to the smelly wee - completely normal. I found mine was particularly strong in the first 9 weeks until my hcg peaked, and now it is more or less the same. Another thing you may want to keep an eye on (although I am sure St Mary's will test for it anyway) is growth in the urine. With my last mc, I had alot of growth in every wee sample. It may have been nothing, but I distinctly remember a nurse calling me a week before I mc'd asking me if I had miscarried because I had growth in my urine that they could give me ab's for. Noticably with this pregnancy I have had no growth and it is clear.

martha welcome to the thread and sorry for your loss. I think although obviously all mc's are cruel, mmc's have a whole new level of cruelness. I hated how my own body deceived me and made me think everything was okay for 11 weeks. Hopefully everything will be fine for you this time!

I don't know why, but the killings in Norway and then Amy Winehouse's death have really affected me. I feel really anxious and afraid even though I have no link with the events at all. Maybe it is just hormones. This morning I woke up and the first thing I did was listen to baby's hb to make myself feel better and it's helped slightly, but still feeling anxious.

Good luck with the scan tomorrow freelance!

Martha my story is the same as yours and also happened in May. I just knew all was not well when all the symptoms disappeared. Even so, you still have hope so when they tell you at the scan that it's all gone wrong, it's devastating. My bean died around 7 weeks. I'd had an early scan at about 7 weeks and seen the heartbeat so was feeling quite confident and had told a few people. Bean must have died soon after that.

Now I'm 6+2 and feeling very unsymptomy. Hoping to have an early scan at 8-9 weeks but not sure how reassuring that'll be given last time.

Anyway, I'm freaking out with you so wanted to say hello

Hi ladies, new here 8wks pg after mc in april, bit scarier second time around isnt it? hope you don't mind but I'm going to lurk here for a bit xxx

Hi georgethecat,

I'm new here too and will be lurking with you! Sorry to hear about your loss, but congratulations too.

I think I'm about 5 weeks after a mc last month and I'm worrying all the time, but trying not to let it take over, so I know what you mean when you say it's scarier second time around! xx

Milky, great article about the importance of Vit D. I found quite a few myself a few months ago and definitely think it is good for us all to take. I was told mine was low years ago because of my thyroid problems and never took any supplements. I?ve been on an extra 25 (plus whatever is in Pregnacare) now for a couple of months so hopefully that will mean am re-stocked.

Thanks too for the info on growth in the urine. That had me googling like mad! Both times I have been pregnant this year (now and mc in March) I have had tingling in my urethra similar but last time they checked for a UTI and there was nothing. Does anyone else get that? I think I should go for another test. I wonder why the nurse asked you if you had miscarried? I am freaking out again now? And yes the Norway and Amy Winehouse things have made me feel a bit vulnerable too. It just brings home how fragile life is and how important friends and family are.

Hi Marathon, I am feeling the same! Very unsymptomy. I have a scan this afternoon though (6.0) so might find out more. I have been scared but I realise there?s nothing I can do so I just have to get on with it.

Well done for coming over Georgethecat! Do hang around. I am new here to. It freaks me out to even be posting here, half of me thinks I won?t be back later after the scan, but it?s also so good to be able to have people who can relate to what you?re going through.

Waves to everyone else! Speak from the other side of the scan...

Good morning everyone and thanks for welcoming me.
I feel like it's all over this morning. Last week on Wednesday my DH went away to Switzerland for a conference and since he left my DS(15months) has been really ill with a cold and has had three teeth come through - so absolutely no sleep for me. I've been getting about two hours each night and then no way of making it up during the day so feel very, very under the weather and of course now I've got the cold too. So, I just can't believe that in this state, my body is going to continue this pregnancy. My DH was supposed to be getting back on Wednesday but he has changed his flight to come back tonight and give me a hand with DS - I feel a bit guilty about it but at the same time, I don't know at all how I could cope with the 6th night in a row of no sleep. Still, I feel like it's too late. I have had some very evil feeling cramping this morning which is making me feel very distressed, all I want to do is cry but I have no one who knows I'm pregnant and I don't know what I'd say.
Sorry....bit of a downer post.

lurking for news from shellshock

fx you have a great scan day today freelance, hope you had a lovely birthday yesterday. You sure did have teh weather for it.

welcome to the newbies

martha sorry to hear you are feeling down today

Hi everyone - congrats on the BFPs and good luck for the scans today

Had my scan yesterday and all was good my dates have gone back by 5 days, strong heartbeat and emotional times all round!

Has anyone else ever felt like this though: I seriously wished we hadn't booked it yesterday morning. Up until last week we had been feeling ok, just getting on with it and trying not to stress too much....but on the lead up to the scan, had horrendous nightmares everynight and was stressing all day, the morning on the scan was one of the most stressful experiences for me and DH

I know we have had good news, and its lovely looking at the pics but we don't feel any relief as it seems so early, the 12 week scan is really the one that (hopefullly) will put our minds at ease. I think we have realised why they wait until then!

Basically, we just went from saying we would defo get a scan once we had passed the time the baby stop developing with the MMC to saying that we wish we had just waited as we were doing fine, and really dont feel anymore secure in this pregnancy than if we hadn't had the scan, and have been through a very stressful few days?

We are obviously very happy to see the heatbeat and both cried, it was that emotional so I don't want to sound like a very strange person! But just wondering if anyone else felt like this? xxx

Shellshock so pleased the scan went well yesterday :o, but sorry it has been so stressful for you. I think it?s such an emotional time anyway and then add our past experiences and it can all just seem too much.

I know exactly how you feel and I think you have kind of helped me with my decision not to scan early, there is no way I will get comfort from an early scan and so I really am going to try to hold out. Off to see the GP tonight so will see what they have to say about it all. I feel OK and have some symptoms so staying in my little bubble until I have to get out!

Hi everyone - I've been absent all weekend as the freak out room doesn't show on the conception topic list on my phone. I thought I was going bonkers until freelance kindly pointed me back here and today I've checked the list against my phone - phone has no mention of freak out room but work computer has it showing just as normal. You can't do this to a hormonal lady MN (or IPhone)!. I appreciate this sounds very strange, so just humour me that it wasn't there/showing!

Anyway, hello to george and livin and everyone one else dipping their toe in here - I hope you have a great stay with us!

shell - I'm very pleased that your scan was ok but I completely relate to what you're saying. I had my first scan at 7 weeks with this one at the RMC and because I kind of felt like I didn't have a choice (they told me when they wanted to see me rather than me booking it) it really freaked me out. That isn't meant to sound unappreciative as I was of course pleased that I was getting support and didn't have to go private, but a few days before I felt terrified and kept saying to DH that I wasn't going to go. Anyway, I obviously did and I was massively relieved for a while and then the anxiety kicked in majorly again as once I'd seen the hb I felt even more terrified at the next scan, like there was now more to lose kind of thing. This isn't probably helping but I'm finding that the anxiety doesn't really go away, it just transfers to the next milestone or thing for me. Having said that, compared to pre-12 weeks, I don't feel so completely consumed by it like I did before - I can go a few days feeling not too panicky or negative, then have a major melt down every now and then (ala this weekend!).

lili - how unlucky seeing the girl from work - would have been nicer of her not to ask you though and just keep quiet (people are so brazen!).

milkyways - yep, I completely relate to your anxiety more generally and that feeling that losses anywhere in the world hit you harder or seem to have a bigger impact post m/c. I also have odd bouts of feeling really down, even though I've no reason in the world to - and that really scares me. I think it's when I let myself think too far ahead and I start to wonder how we'll ever get through all the other milestones ahead to have a healthy baby at the end. I think this was triggered by having to go to a party on sat where my friends and their new babies were (all have arrived just before or just after both of my due dates). It kind of feels a bit unreal that they've now got babies, that I'm now over 18 wks pg and I think my head went into overdrive as to how it might all work out (good and bad!). I also got really upset when one of the new fathers moaned about why they have to have a really difficult baby. I just said something like 'shit happens doesn't it' but he knows about at least one of our losses and I found it so insensitive. DH thinks I should have said something to him as otherwise he'll continue to be insensitive and continue to upset me (and possibly others) in the future. Then we got into a big discussion about how I didn't want to be 'that' person that they all had to pussyfoot around and that saying something meant revisiting/accepting everything that has happened to us, which upsets me. Anyway - what a load of blub from me today......

Glad you had a great bday freelance and good luck today with the scan

Hi stitch I totally feel the same as you - was doing ok 'in my bubble' so the stress of a scan was not needed! If the worst was to happen again (hopefully not) I would defo do as you are and try to hold out for as long as possible x

dooscooby thats my thoughts exactly - we will stress out anyway if we want to so an early scan is not really of any real comfort, apart from the immediate happiness of seeing the heartbeat, which as you say, I don't wish to seem ungrateful, or unfeeling, but does in no way mean that I am not going to worry the same on the lead up to the 12 week scan

I also know what you mean [dooscooby] about not wanting to be someone people have to pussyfoot around but sometimes people are so insensitive they need telling! My FIL kept coming round to our house and saying things like 'you'll have to move that or little fingers will have it' I just used to stare at him in disbelief! In the end I told DH he might have to have a word with him, but then I fell pregnant again and things have improved.

Ditto with those upset about recent events in the news - I cried Saturday night when I heard about Amy Winehouse but I was worked up to fever pitch by that point anyway...well thats my excuse!

Hi everyone, I'm just delurking as we started to arrange a northern meet up for people on this thread and the ttc mc threads a while back. We have arranged a when, and are now arranging a where, but i am conscious there are lots of other new/old faces that might be from up north and want to join in.

The 'where' is being arranged via a thread in the pg boards if you want to take a look, but PM me if you want more details on the when etc....

xxx

shellshock congratulations on the great scan! I can completely understand why you don't feel relief even with the scan. For me, having the scan pictures was really hard, because I constantly felt that I would lose the baby and the pictures would be a constant reminder of the loss. Even on my last scan at 13 weeks, I just couldn't bring myself to accept the pregnancy.

scooby I know what you mean! This is exactly why I have turned into a recluse. It's really bad, but I just can't face people anymore. The last time I went to my brother's house (Back in February - and he lives in the same city!) my SIL's friend (mother of FIVE) asked me why I hadn't had another baby yet, and that she had assumed I had left my job to have a baby.....The bitch. I always feel my SIL calls over friends with babies to make me feel bad when I'm there. If only these women knew that a pregnancy doesn't always result in a baby at the end...

Still waiting for news from freelance; hope everything went ok.

I finally found a pair of maternity jeans that fit nicely....Also I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling anxious of world events. It's true, the mc's do make you more aware of loss.

Waves at everyone Hope you're all well!