Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VIII

[dooscooby]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Lady am keeping everything crossed for your scan this afternoon - hope it all goes well. Am I remembering right that you are having scans most weeks? I'll be keeping everything crossed for the next scan and the scan after etc xx Do let us know how you get on.

I'm liking the 13+1 definition for second tri

LAF I think you're right to just have a chat with your mw about the Hugh risk thing - she should be able to tell you why and what the impact will be, but as Lady (so very eloquently) explained there are oh so many possible reasons for it!

I have a silly question for you. A few times recently I've woken up lying on my tummy (am going to sleep on my side and generally managing to stay there but am by nature a tummy sleeper) and as I've rolled over my tummy feels a bit numb for a few seconds. Am I doing any damage or should I get it checked or anything?

Hello to everyone else xx

Thinking of you this morning lady hope all is well. Thanks for the comprehensive reply about pg risk. I didnt think about the risk between pg and birth.

RMC has been so hard on all of us, people may underestimate it's effects because the pgs may have lasted for several weeks, but the mental aftermath goes on for months and years. I'm ok with being heavy now because I will do whatever I can to sustain this pg. I'll deal with the weight after I give birth, if I dare to dream.

biscuits you aren't supposed to lie on your back after the first trimester, so it could follow the same for your stomach. I think it is more to do with it's effects on you vs the baby.

Good morning to everyone, off to the gym for some exercise to keep the pounds at bay, as best I can.

biscuits I still sleep on my back and half on my tummy (as much of it as is actually possible to be on) - I start off on my side but can't seem to stay there. Until 3rd trimester, there is plenty of room in there for getting out of the way. I get the numbness too - have read somewhere about nerves being pressed but didn't look into it too much.

Good luck for any scanners today

Apparently you aren't supposed to lie on your back because the weight of the bump can squash an artery that is beneath it, thereby potentially reducing your circulation. I've never heard anything about lying on your tummy. Perhaps get one of those special pregnancy pillows which will support the bump as you get bigger and train you to sleep on your side?

Don't worry about the High Risk. I've been put on it simply because i am a bit fat (also comfort bottles of wine after the mcs) and am on clexane. They have also put me at risk of antenatal depression, but this is mostly because of the high anxiety of pregnancy after losses.

good luck with the scan lady have everything crossed for you :)

Hi to the new people and good luck for scans coming up today...

Just thought i'd say that like velvet I'm also lying on my back and sleeping left and right sides tipping over to the front over Phil my bolster pillow and new best friend. As you get bigger, back sleeping does put pressure on an artery which can make you dizzy/nauseous or worst case scenario faint but I have been assured that your body forces you to move if you get even a little bit near that point. In the third tri sleeping on your right can put pressure on the vena cava (I'm sure it's not spelt like that) but again, you'll start to feel uncomfortable and shift.

Welcome limeflower hope your cold clears up soon. And most importantly that the next few weeks fly by for you.

ladym good luck with your scan! I agree with 13+1 being the 14th week and the start of the 2nd trimester. Still feels ages away.

biscuits re tummy sleeping, what bigmac said. If you're not uncomfortable then its fine. If you are, then you'll shift anyway. I had a pregnancy pillow with DS, which made things more comfortable, am hoping to get to the point where I can ask DH to dig it out the loft.

LAF I don't get to pick up my notes till my dating scan, so will find out then if I'm classed as high-risk. Although I asked the mw today what the situation was and she said that once I'm past a certain date I'd most likely be classed as low-risk in terms of the birth because my pregnancy and labour with DS was so straightforward.

I did get weighed today and worked out my BMI as 24.92 so really just skimming the healthy/overweight boundary - which, frankly, is amazing as I was convinced I was properly overweight with the amount of food I've been stuffing in my gob. But because I've got PCOS and my dad has type 2 diabetes I'll be sent for extra GTT tests anyway (bleurgh).

And because of my RMC history I'm being booked an appt with an obs for around 15/16 weeks for him to decide how to manage my pregnancy.

The MW asked me if I wanted to be referred for counselling in case I felt I wasn't connecting with the baby. I actually don't think I'll have a problem with that. I already feel protective of it. She even mentioned finding out the sex at the 20 week scan - which I think was her way of trying to get me excited about the baby.

It was so weird talking about this pregnancy with such long-term views. Talking about where I might give birth and breastfeeding. Felt very affirming to be honest. Unfortunately, I logged onto MN and there's a couple of threads I'm on where there have been miscarriages which has burst the bubble and reminded me how precious it still is.

notnow still thinking of you...

Digital I know exactly what you mean about taking a step forward and then two back. I'm a bit further on than you so maybe having affirmative feelings more often (and our previous circumstances are different) but when something good happens, like feeling the baby or hearing the HB, and I get all excited, it's like my brain goes 'hang on, that's seeming far too much like you've accepted this is gonna work out' and throws a massive wobbler about something else...I have been really good and only doppling once a week, but started to feel the baby on Saturday and have doppled almost daily cos I'm so worried...it's weird how the brain works! My DH says until the baby is here we will always think something is wrong and I guess unfortunately that is true.

Thank you all re the tummy sleeping thing. With ds I never seemed to need a pillow thing as once I had a proper bump I would have rolled off my tummy if I'd tried to lie on it and it was ok sleeping on my side. I think I'm just at that 'semi bump' stage so I can lie on my tummy but then it feels a but squashed and numb when I realise and roll over. I think what happens is I start on my side, go to turn to the other side and cos I'm tired get half way round and fall back to sleep! Anyway won't be long before I'd be defying gravity to lie on it .

I know what you all mean about the long term thinking being weird. When I went for my booking in I was completely overwhelmed to be discussing birth, bf, pain relief in labour etc etc. I'm thinking 'hold on a second - let's see if there's still a baby in there first!'

Hope everyone else is doing ok, and notnow if you're still lurking, hope you're being taken care of xx

To boost positivity I've updated the list for today, look how we're all coming along

Thursday 21 September 2011

Bump 24+0 EDD 14/01/12
Hairylights 23+4
Mamarara 22+6
Pigletmania 22+6
ladybird33 22+6 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 20+3 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
angela85 baby #2 19+3 EDD 13/2/12 next scan 30/9/11
MrsSteph 17+6 Next scan 20/07/11
Stitchinline 17+1 EDD 29/02/12 next scan 24/10/11
Shellshock7 16+4 EDD 4/3/12 next scan 17/10/11
LivinInTheMoment 16+4 EDD 4/3/12
LAF77 14+1, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 13+1 EDD 28/3/12, next scan 16/9/11
Kat2504 11+0 EDD 12/04/12, next scan 3/10/11
Digitalgirl 10+4 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 21/09/11
Moomin 10+4 EDD 15/04/12
LadyMaybe 7+4, next scan 22/09/11
Boodleboot 7+0 EDD 14/5/12, next scan 20/09/11
Googie 5+4

On the grads thread too:
Daisybell - baby#1 40+9 weeks EDD 13 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 39+0 weeks EDD 28 September
Emoo - baby#2 37+5 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 35+3 weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 35+3 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 35+2 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 33+6 wks EDD 4th November
CEP baby #2 33+5 wks EDD 5th Nov
Katherine2008 baby#2 33+0 EDD 10 November
Hils74 - baby#1 32+6 EDD 11/11/11
Collieandpup baby #1 31+4 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 31+0 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi baby #1 30+6 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 30+6 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby#1 31+2 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 29+3 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 28+0 EDD 12/12/11
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 27+0 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 27+0 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe Baby#2 25+1 EDD 5th Jan
Sunchild77 Baby #3 24+6 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff baby#2 24+5 wks EDD 7th Jan
Milkyways - baby #2 24+3 EDD 8th January 2012
Laylasmummy09 23+0 EDD 21 January

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... A&R; MumTum; Knitter, Mistress P, willitbe, twittwoo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance

Thursday 21 September 2011

Bump 24+0 EDD 14/01/12
Hairylights 23+4
Mamarara 22+6
Pigletmania 22+6
ladybird33 22+6 EDD 22/1/12
purpletoes 20+3 EDD 08/02/12 next scan 04/10/11
angela85 baby #2 19+3 EDD 13/2/12 next scan 30/9/11
MrsSteph 17+6 Next scan 20/07/11
Stitchinline 17+1 EDD 29/02/12 next scan 24/10/11
Shellshock7 16+4 EDD 4/3/12 next scan 17/10/11
LivinInTheMoment 16+4 EDD 4/3/12
LAF77 14+1, next scan 4/11/11
Biscuitsandtea 13+1 EDD 28/3/12, next scan 16/9/11
Kat2504 11+0 EDD 12/04/12, next scan 3/10/11
Digitalgirl 10+4 EDD 15/04/12, next scan 21/09/11
Moomin 10+4 EDD 15/04/12
LadyMaybe 7+4, next scan 22/09/11
Boodleboot 7+0 EDD 14/5/12, next scan 20/09/11
Googie 5+4

On the grads thread too:
Daisybell - baby#1 40+9 weeks EDD 13 September
Mamapower - Baby#1 39+0 weeks EDD 28 September
Emoo - baby#2 37+5 weeks EDD 7 October
Tunnocksteacake - baby#2 35+3 weeks EDD 24th October
Hotnspicyonions - baby#2 35+3 weeks EDD 24th October
Velvetcu - baby#1 35+2 wks EDD 25th October
MummyAbroad baby #2 33+6 wks EDD 4th November
CEP baby #2 33+5 wks EDD 5th Nov
Katherine2008 baby#2 33+0 EDD 10 November
Hils74 - baby#1 32+6 EDD 11/11/11
Collieandpup baby #1 31+4 wks EDD 20th Nov
Wombatinwaiting - baby # 1 31+0 wks EDD 24th November
LaraMi baby #1 30+6 weeks EDD 25th November
Izzy - baby #3 30+6 wks EDD 26th November
Bigmacandhappymeal - baby#1 31+2 weeks EDD 29th November
Blackkat - baby #1 29+3 wks EDD 5th December
Minnie74 28+0 EDD 12/12/11
Harassedandherbug - baby #4 27+0 wks EDD 22 December
Dooscooby - baby #1 27+0 wks EDD 22 December
Youremindmeofthebabe Baby#2 25+1 EDD 5th Jan
Sunchild77 Baby #3 24+6 wks EDD 6th Jan - Elcs at 39 wks
Freezingmyarseoff baby#2 24+5 wks EDD 7th Jan
Milkyways - baby #2 24+3 EDD 8th January 2012
Laylasmummy09 23+0 EDD 21 January

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... A&R; MumTum; Knitter, Mistress P, willitbe, twittwoo, Lily06, doitnicely, freelance, Notnowimreading

just adding Notnow to the end, hope she is doing ok. I'm actually going to do a bit of a forum search and see how some of the other thinking ofs are doing. Haven't seen a post from Knitter in a long time.

How did I get to 11 weeks? 11 days till my scan. The time is dragging. I want my belly to get a bump or something, or my boobs to grow. Nothing is occuring with my boobs at all. They look just the same as ever.

I think daisybell must be about to have her baby too. How lovely - she was in the freak out room last time I was here. It is so nice to see people getting to the end of the road!

notnow big hugs to youx

notnow so very sorry to read your news. I hope you're being well looked after in RL.

Hello and welcome to all newcomers

Biscuits 13+1 means that you have already completed 13 weeks so you are now in week 14 meaning second trimester (I think?!?)

If I wasn't so tired after ds's birthday I would be doing a little second trimester dance round my living room . Not that there is any room at the moment as I'm too tired to tidy up all the birthday presents

Hi everyone :) FINALLY!! I got my bookin in apointment, apparently there was some mix up and i shoulda been seen long ago. Hmm! Well i'm in first thing tomorrow morning to the hospital. Any tips on what to bring and what will happen? I know to bring a book for waiting ;)

Lady Sacroiliac joint pain is a lower back pain, near the top of your bum and to either the left or right side. Its agony sometmes, feels like my leg is about to separate off my body. its such a sharp pain. I get it turnin over in bed if i'm not careful, or getting out of the car, walkin down stairs, or if i bend over to pick somethin up. my auntie had it too so she told me all about it. And apparently i'm stuck with it for the rest of this pg

Good luck Livin - let us know how it goes

lady thinking of you and how your scan went

Oooh yes - hope everything was OK Lady xx

Hi sorry I was going to come back and update but ended up having a rubbish night with sickness, which continued today...bleugh
Scan was good, the heartbeat is still there and the Dr found it to play the sound as well so got to listen to it. Wish I'd had the presence of mind to record it for DH but it didn't occur to me - would have been a bit odd rummaging in my purse legs akimbo too
I feel a bit unsettled because it was measuring quite far ahead - I know it's better than slow growth but anything other than 'normal' is going to cause mentalling. Anyway, it's within the margin of error and after some pretty intense googling I couldn't find anything saying measuring ahead at this early stage is a bad sign so am going try to stay positive.
Really having pretty major food issues at the moment, what did you guys like? I'm in need of inspiration.
I've been referred to the high-risk pg unit already (eek!) and got my appt letter today, talk about jumping the gun! Have to say the rec mc people have been unerringly positive, they don't do any of the 'if you get that far' stuff, just talk as though it will work out and this is the next step. I find it odd because uk nhs staff seem to 'manage expectations' a lot, I guess the idea here is that they expect the best and deal with the worst only if it happens. I suppose the women at a rmc clinic manage their/our own expectations, don't we.

Yes I think we do manage our own expectations! I had a letter from the hospital about some blood results and my medication yesterday and it said "we will see you after your dating scan" and my brain automatically added "if I get that far and if it is ok"

Measuring a few days over is fine. It's hard for them to be accurate early on anyway, there were three days difference between a scan I had at 6+4 and 9+0 although I was behind on the first one. It could be that you actually are a bit ahead. Even if you are certain when you ovulated, there is a range of a few days of when implantation can take place.

So happy for you that all was fine at your scan :) Hearing a nice heartbeat is so reassuring.

As for food, I am loving macaroni cheese at the moment.

lady great news, so pleased for you! Are you and DH tall? I think that plays a part. My bean is 5 days ahead of schedule and I'm happy with that. I'd rather be ahead than behind.

We always find something to worry about! A friend invited me to go to the baby show next month in London and I told her I didn't want to buy tix cos I might not be pg then. I still look for blood everytime I go to the loo. I want to be happy, but easier said than done.

Great news for your scan Lady really happy for you

Food is a prob, I'm such a big eater normally and like everything so it's hard having a small appetite (but hungry all the time?!) and just not fancying anything? I'm sticking mainly to pasta, with the odd chilli and cottage pie thrown in? Oh, and TONNES of ice cream

Ditto re checking everytime I go the loo - I think it's become such a habit now that I will do it for the rest of my life.

Good news on the scan Lady :)

Agree re the knicker checking too - I sometimes wonder, after so long of TTC and the mc worry, what it would be like to not be anxiously searching for something every time I go to the toilet. Imagine just stress-free toileting based on demand rather than panic levels. Crazy.......

Glad that the scan went well Lady.

Laf, I'm ok thanks. Still having some brownish discharge on and off, really counting down the days til I can have the 12 week scan. 2 weeks to go still though. It does seem crazy about the EPAU referral procedure- I think it's because they simply don't have the resources to cope with seeing too many patients. I live in a medium-sized town, which has it's own hospital, but deals with patients from quite a wide area. The EPAU is only open mornings, Monday to Friday, and there is one midwife and one sonographer on duty at a time. The midwife on duty has to take phonecalls from patients while seeing other patients (I know this as I had to ring them to obtain BHCG results), so I think they are already over-stretched. I guess things vary across the country, I know that our local hospital has struggled funding-wise, someone I work with couldn't have a much needed hysterectomy until the new financial year because all non-emergencies operations were cancelled. The maternity buiding needs ripping down and replacing- this was planned a few years ago, but due to budget cuts the plans were scrapped. I wish I could just self-refer, but then part of me really doesn't want to have to go back to the horrible EPAU! I guess I will just have to see how things pan out for now, there is always the option of A & E should the bleeding properly come on with a vengeance. (Hope not!!)

I can empathise with everyone who is struggling to look at things 'long term'. Despite me not even being 11 weeks yet, people at work keep talking to me about the pregnancy as there is no denying that I look pregnant! Questions like, "How's the baby doing?" are really difficult to answer!! I feel like saying, "I'm not sure, as I don't really know myself yet" !!

Hello everyone - thanks for all the nice wishes. I'm nearly all finished now, I think, and starting to feel a lot better. I went back to work today and had lots to catch up on so plenty to think about and keep me occupied. I told anyone who asked me why I had been off work and I have to say that everyone's been brilliant and supportive. Although, I could have done without my (male, sixty-something) headteacher telling me that 'the worst thing is having to go back to having sex according to a temperature chart'. Ew ew ew ew ew. It's weird, but the miscarriage (awful in itself) has not seemed the worst thing - it's been a strange kind of relief from worrying about miscarrying every second of the day. The EPAU were great too. After everything I've read on here, I was really worrying about going in for the scan to confirm the miscarriage. They had a separate waiting room for the people like me who weren't going for happy scans and a screened off area of that waiting room for when you come out weeping. No one said anything crass and even the medical student who had a really good look up my fanjo with a very bright light was delightful. The number of people who have seen my lady-parts in my whole life doubled on Wednesday! It's my birthday today and when I went in for the 48 hour blood test for ectopic, the phlebotomist asked me to confirm my date of birth, said 'Oh, happy birthday,' then looked at the list of blood tests requested and said 'Oh, not such a happy birthday' and that is absolutely the worst thing that anyone's managed to say to me - not too shabby, I thought. The NHS must be either getting better or very good locally. Everyone I've talked to has managed to make me feel better rather than worse. Obviously two miscarriages in three months aren't a good thing, but I don't feel as psychologically scarred as I thought I was going to.

Good luck to all of you. I'm going to enjoy the one up-side with a big glass of wine and a rare steak for my birthday tea. xx

Oh I am so sorry for the shit birthday timing. My last mc was over my birthday too and it was bollocks. But I'm glad that you are doing ok and have been treated well. You enjoy that glass of wine now!