We are all jolly well going to get pregnant this month and then hang on to it and none of us will brook even the slightest argument

[PaleHandsILoved]

New thread, hopefully not clashing with another new thread! This Is Our Month, Rat Smackers.

Right, I've just been looking for a low carb substitute for you maybe and google suggests apple flax muffins. Have you any in your cupboard? No? I'll get some over to you now. I think you need some sustenance. It's a long 9 months...

Oh Little that made me chuckle I do have a lot of crap stuff in my cupboards, but no flax

It's not Thursday for AGES Generic

I think Facebook is trying to tell me something. An advert for maternity clothes just popped up on mine

Right, I need a kick up the arse please gals.
Having a major negative thinking wobble.
One of best friends has told me she is 8 weeks pregnant, exactly what I should have been. She emailed as we are seeing eachother and she knows what happened and wanted to let me know (We are out with others)
Thank goodness because my first reaction was my stomach sinking, followed by bursting into tears.
What sort of a horrible person have I become that I can't be happy for my friend?

Farfalla, you are not horrible. And I'm sure you are happy for her - you just want to be pregnant too, so are having very mixed feelings. And the fact that you would be 8wks makes it such a tough situation. It is a totally normal reaction and you will need a bit of time to get used to her news. Let yourself be a bit sad, then get back to brooking no argument about next month!

Farfalla totally agree with little - it is understandable that you would be upset about what you have lost. Let yourself be a bit upset and I really hope it's not too hard when you meet up. You will be preggo again very soon, I promise.

If it's any consolation I have stopped automatically working out how many weeks I would have been after my MMC in late March, so it does get easier as time passes.

Thanks gals, just what I needed, knew I could rely on you.

DH's response was 'babe chill out - don't be sad about it - it will happen for us '
I know you and he are right but I also can't seem to focus on anything but getting pregnant, it consumes my every waking thought.
I know its so unhealthy, how do I let go?

I think it's hard for DHs to relate - it's almost like you have a biological need to be pregnant again (that's how it feels for me anyway). He is right though, it will happen.

Keep talking to us and we will try to help.

Oh Farfalla you are far from a terrible person. Generic is right, it does get easier as time passes. And my DH is exactly the same as yours. Sometimes that makes me so mad, but in a way, I am glad, as sometimes he makes up for the positivity I lack.

I always thought the whole TTC thing would be fun, but it is all I think about now too. In a way, I think that having a MC takes the excitement out of the TTC experience, cos no matter how much we all want that BFP, we are all slightly terrified at the same time.

We are all here for you. I'm fairly sure if I budge up a bit, there is a bit of room on the chaise lounge for Generic to fan us both

Yes you are right generic, its this terrible physical longing, its making me question my sanity to be honest. I used to be normal before this TTC malarky, honest.

It has not even been that long since we started trying so I know I need to Pull Myself Together. Being a control freak is not helpful in these situations is it?

Ooh yes, happy to fan you both.

My DH is actually the opposite in that he feels pessimistic about pregnancy (I've had 2 MCs and 1 DD) - last time I was pregnant he was cautious (and it turns out he was right to be so). I don't think it's real to him until there is a babe in arms. We don't talk about ttc, but I suppose he must know we are trying (or not not trying as he would say). MN is great because I can talk about it as much as I want without letting on to anyone in rl.

I'm now at the stage where I'm ready for a BFP and I've been practising my visualisation and positive thinking - I'd rather be optimistic about it than not. I suppose I'm of the school of thought that the outcome will be the same, whichever attitude you have, but the journey is a lot nicer if you enjoy it.

Right! Who's for a chocolate chip cookie? sod off Dr Dukan

xposts farfalla - that's just it: you are not in control when ttc and that is very hard to deal with.

Go on then, chuck us a cookie

Thanks for the fanning, and the kind words.

What did peopel do before mumsnet? Go mental I shouldn't wonder!

Thank goodness for MN and chocolate

and wine

You are not horrible at all, farfall. I felt so resentful of people getting pregnant when we were TTC and felt really quite spiteful towards people who got pregnant very quickly or who, in my mind, "deserved" a baby less than us . I felt horrible for feeling that way but couldn't help it. While I haven't (yet) had an MC, I can only imagine that that makes it a million times worse. You are not a horrible person, you are a lovely person stuck in a horrible situation.

At the risk of denting the thread's positivity, TTC is, in my experience, not fun if it doesn't happen in the first few months. I felt like I was going mad and hated swinging from "I bet I am pregnant" elation to "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, AF arrived" despair. Right now I am permanantly exhausted and constantly nauseous but it is so much better than rollercoaster obsession of TTC. I really hope this doesn't come across as smug, it's meant to be quite the opposite.

And now back to positivity, everyone! You are all pregnant and this thread will very shortly become obsolete as you will all be over on the antenatal thread.

Thanks Love. yes I am really quite shocked at my reaction, horrified about it really. Its reassuring to hear its normal! I keep on re-reading her email just thinking but its Not Fair, you already HAVE A BABY.

Right, get a grip lady.

I'm sorry to hear you've had such a difficult day Farfalla, ttc is just overwhelming sometimes!

There's a lovely woman in my office who got married around the same time as me a couple of years ago, we both got promoted earlier this year, and I knew she would start ttc around the same time as me. Well she confirmed yesterday that she is pregnant (12 weeks) and even though I get on well with her I just couldn't help being incredibly upset. I've just been absolutely gutted ever since I found out, moping around and crying at home.

It's such a disproportionate response, I haven't been trying long at all and for all I know she could have been trying for a year - even if she got pregnant in her first month of ttc though I should still be happy for her!

On the other hand though, I think it's hard to be happy for anyone unless you've actually seen them struggle through the process. Getting to know all the lovely ladies on this thread, and seeing you go through the same crazy emotions as me, means that every time one of you becomes a pee stick endorsed pregnant person I'm really truly through-and-through happy for you! Whereas in RL when someone says they're pregnant you just imagine they woke up one morning, decided to get pregnant, and hey presto it happened! Which is unfair.

I guess I'm not helping much farfalla! I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that your reactions are perfectly normal, you're still a wonderful person, and you will get through this! Soon you'll be over on the ante-natal singing away to power ballads. In the mean time though, everyone on this thread is 100% behind you!

Ah farfalla (hey that comes up on predicative text!). I totally get how that sucks. I obviously haven't had an mc so I w

Thanks gals, you are all LOVELY.

Sorry you have had a shite day too Scream.
You are right, the BFPs on here and some other threads I am on make me genuinely happy, no bitterness.
And deep down, I am really happy for my friend, she has had some shit times herself, not TTC but other issues.
And she was so sweet in her email, I know it must be hard for her. I remember having to tell a friend who had just been dumped by her boyf of 7 years that we were engaged and it was AWFUL.

IT WILL BE US NEXT, IT WILL BE US NEXT

Ah farfalla (hey that comes up on predicative text!). I totally get how that sucks. I obviously haven't had an mc so I won't say I know how you feel. I've really struggled to be happy for friends and random strangers who are pregnant or have babies. please don't boot me off the thread for being a Bible basher but I'm a Christian. What's turned the situation round for me was something I read that said when you.envied someone, you had to bless them abundantly. Trust me, I have not found it easy but over the last few weeks it's released some of the anger I've been harboring. I hope you feel better soon.
On a more amusing note, I passed tampax in a shop today, idly wondered if the producers would wonder why their sales were down and eventually track it back to this thread!

Wise words Have

I also think that the makers of pee sticks are going to come looking for us too

And you summed it up perfectly Scream

Evening all,

I feel I should apologise again for the radio silence today - had my mum with me so didn't want to be on MN in case she spotted me and asked why I would have a need to be on a conception discussion board......



Right, now that?s out of the way, Farfalla ? your reaction I think is pretty much normal. I would be way more worried if all that happened and then you just said you took it in your stride and carried on. It doesn?t make you a bad person or anything like that. I think Scream?s words made a lot of sense. You naturally assume that literally people just wake up and there it is, a bfp, but I guess we never know if that is the case.

I have a friend who is in exactly the same position as us and has been referred to the same fertility clinic and everything all about the same time. I used to feel stupidly jealous if she got an appointment through sooner or something. I mean how ridiculous but couldn?t help myself!

Maybe hope you?re feeling better now.

Generic and Imps good job on the nursing / mopping today ? well done team!

Anyway, there I was with my Mum looking at a few photos I had taken of DS today on my phone and she started scrolling across the photos... and of course came across the one I had taken of yesterday's pee stick - eeek!



I did tell her everything in the end and why we were worried etc and she understood. I hadn't really wanted to tell anyone at this stage (since I am yet to fully adapt to the idea myself) but I know she understands what we went through with the mc and I suppose we are where we are. I was a bit disappointed that she didn't seem a bit more pleased - not even a 'congratulations'! Still.....



I also felt weirdly down today from an odd email. You may recall how I got everyone to look at yesterday's pee stick to confirm my eyesight. Well, I had been using this monitor thing for temperature charting and they obviously see all the charts etc. So yesterday they emailed and said (basically) your chart looks like a pregnant person's, have you done a test? So I said well, yes I have actually, one of those that you sent me with the monitor, but it isn't clear one way or the other - what do YOU experts think of it. Now I was fully expecting a 'Yay - a line is a line!!', but instead today I got an email saying 'It is not a positive, but you are right; there is a faint line, which may indicate that your hormones are not quite high enough yet. I would suggest taking another test tomorrow as this would have given a chance to your body to produce more HCG'. Weirdly that made me feel really deflated when they said 'it is not a positive' and like I had jumped the gun. So I have resolved to test approximately every day now if not a little more often. 



Anyway, I have my line on my FR which was better. I think I will do another of their tests tomorrow morning to see if I get a stronger line now it is 2 days later. I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of 6 CBD tests from Amazon and I will be much happier if can convince one of them and it will tell me in WORDS what I am so desperately hoping for! I might even feel confident enough to arrange a booking in appointment by then (I know it doesn't happen until 8 weeks, I just mean to actually phone and book one!)

Hope everyone else is ok.

xxxxx