Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

jane (((((hugs))))) you will be ok, it will be our turn soon.

Bring him to meet my dogs - everyone loves them - even dog haters. They are basically snuggles with 4 legs - Ellie is a complete tart and throws herself on her back at total strangers, begging for a tummy rub and Eric has the waggiest tail in the world. If we had burglars they would be licked to death rather than bitten. Their favourite thing in the world is cuddling up on me and sleeping. Ellie would rather have a cuddle than eat her dinner. They are miniature long haired dachshunds and although I always thought I'd have proper sized dogs I now wouldn't be without my mini dachsies.

Ive tried before Dachs but hes not having any of it. I love all animals used to work on a petting farm where we had alsorts and when I met my dh I had a ferret as a pet (dh tollerated him) he was so funny little fidget! Acting like a screw ball all the time. I love ferrets would love a nother one.

Evening, on my phone so can't reply much. Another high day but I used another test this afternoon and the line was much darker but not a surge. If it doesn't happen this cycle I'm going to set the monitor to test in the afternoon as I think testing first thing isn't working. Hugs to all and will try catching up later.

Thanks all for your kind wishes about my cat, been in tears at work today it's horrible. A lot of the feelings are like loosing Georgie; hating my house, feelings of hopelessness, lack of excitement for the future, having to talk about cremations and urns etc... I hoped we wlould gave no more bereavements for a long time. Hi to all hope everyone' s ok? Wishing you all the luck in the world xxxx

Angel, one of our cats went missing the day I went in for inducement with Scarlett. Haven't seen him since :( he was only 2 and we had him since a kitten. We got a new kitten a few weeks ago, we felt we needed to wait.

A bit tired now, it's been a hard week.

Arh cheese it's horrible isn t it??
We had Scottie for 11 years, me and Ant have been together 12 years and we had Scottie for 11 so he's always been with us through thick and thin.don t know what we ll do about another cat yet can t think straight , like when we lost Georgie, I just want him as I wanted/ ached for Georgie.
Take care xxxx

We still hold a small hope that someone else took him in and that's he's living a nice life with another family. He was a small cat so people may have though he was a stray, he always lost his collar so we left them off in the end. He was chipped though. It is horrible yes. So sorry about your Scottie :(

Morning all. Still don't know if I've ovulated, too early to do the test yet but I've been feeling achy for the past few days, like I'm going to come on. I think this is going to be a long cycle, have to wait and see though.

How is everyone today? xx

Well just did my test and it was a low reading, day 25 so I have no idea what's going on, no peak detected at all . Really don't know what to think. I think I'll see what happens this cycle and then make a drs appointment if nothing changes.

Morning everyone,
I had a lovely night out with my dh last night and a couple of cheeky glasses of wine. Think I might be due to ov soon so will have to lay off the wine just in case. What does everyone else do about drinking when ttc?
cheese is there any chance you might have missed ov? Hope your cycles settle soon, its so frustrating isnt it?
Sorry to hear about everyone's pets, they are like part of the family aren't they?

Been reading everyday but have just worked out I can update from my silly phone. I am so slow . DH and I are trying and I think I'm about to get my period. I can feel the dread coming on and not looking forward to the next week. Why is it so difficult to get pregnant considering you spend so long trying not to when you're younger? Guess I'm just feeling bit down as it was our due date last weekend and I thought maybe some good things were due to start happening for us.

ciwi I don't really drink when TTC but it's easy to lay off the vino when I'm actively trying as I need IVF to get pg. Am trying to be good for the cycle in between but am still having the odd glass of wine at the weekend and will be drinking on holiday. Although seemingly two glasses is enough to give me a hangover these days so I'm not chucking it back like I used to If the odd glass is ok when you're pg (although personally I steered clear when I was pg) I don't think the odd glass is bad when TTC.

My pets aren't 'like' part of the family - they are my family. I like them infinitely better than I like my SIL!

mel Sorry you're down about your due date and AF

I keep visiting the pg forum I was on - bad idea - it's hard seeing everyone reach important milestones and feeling left behind. If the IVF in July/August doesn't work I think I might completely fall apart. It's the thing I'm clinging on to to get over the twins and if it doesn't work then there's no chance of being pg before the due date. I'll be crushed.

ciwi im glad you had a nice night. I dont really drink much now, i have the odd glass of wine and cocktail but i hate being drunk so i only have 2 or 3 drinks at a time.

determined I dont have any pets, i wouls love to have a tortoise though! Oh i so get you on the SIL thing, i think i much prefer rats to mine!

I have everything crossed for us all on this thread!

Thanks all for your understanding about my Scottie. Some people at work have been completely lacking in understanding however, I feel sorry for them they ve never had unconditional love like you get from pets. My SIL is ok but as for my MIL that's a whole different story!!! Bitch from hell is an understatement.
Cheese sorry you re cycles are all out. Hope they settle soon I remember after Georgie having 2 annvoluary cycles where I didn t ovulate at all cue; much panicking I was getting too old to get pregnant again ( I was 40 in December) but I stuck with my old trusty ovulation sticks, not saying they work for everyone but.,
Hi to everyone I wish you all the luck on the world conceiving as if anyone deserves it us lot do who have " lived" through these horrific experiences. Xxxx

My MIL has her moments. She's either nice and solicitous or a total and utter cow. There is nothing in between. And she could sulk for England! FIL is much nicer but a bit feeble. SIL is horribly spoiled and her kids are the most spoiled brats in the world. No-one ever says no to them apart from me and DH, so they throw tantrums every time we say it. I can't stand spending time with them. It doesn't help that SIL is v smug about having two kids when I've got none. She was jealous of the fact that I was having twins and couldn't stop smiling when I told her we'd lost them. I wanted to punch her.

determined i would have punched her! God she sounds like such a lovely person NOT!

I have seen SIL and FIL in a totally new light since losing Zoe. They both behaved apallingly throught the early days and funeral arrangements and the funeral itself. FIL wanted to push me out, DF and I walked Zoe down the aisle together at her funeral, FIL was trying to stop me so he could do it instead. He also told me that i ruined his holiday (Zoe passed away when he was on hol). I have no repect left for either of them.

God jane I cannot believe your FIL's comments about ruining his holiday There is so much wrong with that I don't know where to start and am speechless. What a total git.

And Dachs your SIL sounds like a gem! Horrendous.

Angel so sorry about your moggie. We lost one of ours Sept before last and it's awful. They are such a special part of your life and never replaceable.

TooImmature I think it was you asking about birth plans? My situation is quite different to yours I think as Bobbie being a late miscarriage doesn't bring the same focus on future births/avoiding being overdue or anything. If it wasn't for the timing of this conception and hence the caution over toxoplasmosis effects, and the fact that I am on thyroxine for a slightly underactive thyroid then the birth would be completely up to me - home/hospital/water etc, I would still be classed as low risk. As it is they want me in hospital just incase there are any unexpected issues with the baby that they couldn't see on the scans. I'm ok with this. However I really want to be in the ML birth centre at the hospital and to try and use the pools but have initially been told that being on thyroxine means I can't and I should be on the CLU. That was one consultant's opinion, but 2 MWs and a different consultant all disagree with him so it's a bit up in the air for now.

Whoever it was asking about checking your cervix... I found this easiest to do on the toilet (wash your hands before and after!). When most fertile your cervix should feel soft like your lips and be higher up/almost out of reach, when not fertile it should feel firm like the tip of your nose and sit lower down. It takes a couple of cycles to get familiar with it though. Definitely cross check against other signs like cervical fluid etc to see if it makes sense and help you interpret it.

Omg!!!! Seems like we all experienced really shitty in laws on top of everything!!!

Am feeling now. I've been waiting in all day for a delivery and it hasn't arrived. It doesn't look like it's going to arrive now, so it's been a completely wasted day. I hate being stuck in the house unable to do anything.

I hope you've all been having better days than me! :)

thats so frustrating determined hope it still arrives.
I have spent the day in garden centres and we bought an apple tree for our little boy to plant in our garden. It is a fathers day present for my oh as i had no clue what to do for him to make the day a little gentler. he seems to like the idea so i am glad of that.
Sorry a lot of you have had such trouble with your il's things are hard enough without people making things harder.
Can I ask if anyone has experience of using IC ovulation tests? I used tesco ones last month and got a second line which got darker over the days and then turned positive. I bought ic's this time and no second line but the tesco ones do have a second line and the IC's are meant to be more sensitive! do you think that IC's are just rubbish?
spilt how has your thyroid been managed this pg? I have recently been diagnosed with a slightly underactive thyroid too x

Dachs I want to puch her for you, lets all go round there and do her in. lol sorry but that kind of person winds me up!

Some people are so selfish its all about them them them.

Im having a tough day, got a very faint line on my ovy test, and then when we were getting ready to go out I broke down and couldnt go, I dont want to go to a really busy bowling alley with the inlaws (all 9 of them) and be introduced to the new squeeze of the fav son (total womeniser) Im going to pop along to the house later. Im not ready to have a lot of fun yet.

Wondering whats up with the cycle though its day 26 and a faint line could be I ov tomorrow, just have to see, maybe that fall down the stairs delayed everything.

Yep -she's a v 'her her her' person. On my wedding day she turned up in a pseudo wedding dress. I was v unimpressed. And quite cross. But luckily everyone ignored her :)

Sorry you're having a tough day zebra I hope your body sorts itself out soon and that your evening wasn't too bad.

My delivery never turned up so am now officially and will be having stern words with Amazon. I hate it when you wait in all day and then nothing turns up. Grrr.......

to everyone that need them.

And I'm thinking that we should get a posse together to sort out rogue in laws, since we all seem to have completely insensitive and thoughtless relatives-by-marriage. Who's up for beating them up with me?

(when I was in the hospital losing the twin MIL turned up with SIL's kids (3 and 18 months) and then spent the whole time she was there complaining about how quickly DNephew filled his nappies. While I'm lying in a hospital bed losing my much wanted babies. Insensitive much? She is defo on my list along with SIL)

Oh determined Count me in your posse! An outlaw beating gang, sounds a super way to destress!

green sorry you are not having a good day, hope you had a better evening.

Dachs please let me join your gang!!! I ll knack your ." inlaws" if u do mine!!! When Georgie died we set up a just giving web site in lieu of a remembrance book for the delivery suite and anything the ward needed as the care my whole family had was fabulous , everyone contributed from friends, family, mumsnetters, people who work with my sister, brother etc... My MIL was the only person who didn t contribute ad her reason " take it from what Ant , her son , my hubby, owes her from his first car 25 years ago!!! "
she had a grandson she's spent a fortune on in the last 14 years but refused to help Georgies web site!!! At Georgie s cremation she was loud , OTT and manipulated the whole service. She bought a small wreath for Georgie then after the service took it home!!!! Very long story that culminated in her ringing her son all over Xmas, 2 months after Georgie had died and he was supporting me , threatening to commit suicide and telling us we didn t care about her!!! Hence ; I had a massive row on her about her selfish ways causing all this worry on her son when he works long days and commutes 1 hour each way, she hand t spoke to her daughter about any of this, who works 3 hours a day!!!! She's a selfish , self serving cow and since Xmas I ve not spoken to her which is great.'The only way she ll have anything to do with this baby is if Ant takes the baby to her as now she's not allowed in our house and it's bliss!!!
Expercing a major loss certainly shows people at their worst and best!!!
Sleep well all xxxxx