Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

cakes sending hugs it is a hard decision to make. To me it felt like terminating my pregnancies, even though I knew full well they had ended. It's something to do with signing the consent forms. But do go to the epu as soon as you can manage it, unless you have decided to wait it out. Even then you should go and see them to talk through what will happen. Once I had a day when it was going to happen, I started to see the light on the other side of the mc. In the meantime you will need a good fewdays to sniffle away on the sofa in your pyjamas or whatever method of indulging your feelings works for you. Don't try too hard to be strong. Let yourself feel sad and cry.
Me and mrKat went to the epu yesterday. The lovely nurse tookawhole hour to talk through the issues with us. Sometimes it's nice just to feel that you are being listened to.

Cakeage lovely, it is just fucking crap and there's no other way to put it. Whatever you decide - make sure you get a couple of weeks off work to get your head back together because it's really easy to try and battle on (which does work for some people) but you may well be knackered and very up and down so it's good to have the option to stay home, rest and eat chocolate if you need to.

Massive squishy hug coming your way xx

Cakes - I am so sorry you're going through this. Fucking sucks. Have this back rub and a hot water bottle for your tummy.

You have loads of information here... So in the spirit of giving you enough information to know what they're talking about when you call the EPU, here's my twopence worth:

I've had two miscarriages - both of the babies stopped growing at about 6 weeks growth, and I miscarried them at 8 and 10 weeks. My decision on process was decided in the first one by being on holiday when it started, and in the second by how much I hate medical establishments. I went natural both times. I bled for 4 weeks for the first one and five weeks for the second. The first had a couple of painful days and a couple of heavy days, and the second was really painful for about a week. The doctor gave me some horse tranquillisers so I was able to cope. In both cases the bleeding almost stopped then started flooding again for another week at the end. Am able to be clinical about it now, but if you read back to Jan, I was a mess.

With regards to aftermath, after the first one I was a raving lunatic who was desperate desperate desperate to have another babee in my tum, and couldn't think about anything else and was just appalled by how little the doctors cared. The second one I think I did the bulk of my grieving during the five weeks it took to complete and was kinda okay afterward.

So, would I go natural again? God knows.

Kat - sorry you're struggling. Am encouraged that complaining got you results.

Want to have a whinge about work but will make another submission for that.

Oh - and Kat, my experience of councillors is that they tend to offer sliding scale fees. They really are the heart of the medical profession.

So. On to my whinge. I have been absent from this fine forum [nice work with the fred btw] because I got abducted by a horrible work monster who kept me captive for fucking days and days. I am so knackered I can't even think straight any more. I had the option of having a day off today, and although I haven't done any of my own work for the past week, I decided I was too tired to care about being conscientious.

We have nutty work schedules at the best of times (they're probably illegal come to think of it). So, worked 9 days straight finishing with a 13 hour day on Sunday, 15 hour day Monday, 15 hour day Tues, and a 15 hour day yesterday. I feel very sorry for myself.

And during this shitstorm, I may well have possibly had a bit of a positive on a piss stick... but please not to pay too close attention as am obviously a bit anxious and fretful about it all. And I don't want anyone to tutt too loudly when am partaking in the hot baths, and gin slinging with reckless abandon.

While I'm thinking of it, what are the definitive rules of the brackets? Am always a little confused.

Just popping in to let both kat and cakes know I am thinking of them. its really fucking unfair and horrible you are both going through this and have to make these tough decisions and/or fight for what any right minded person would say you deserve. kat glad you found someone to listen to you and that its made you feel a bit better. cakes feel completely helpless in your case and can only offer hair strokes and gin :(

brownie that sounds totally illegal and completely bonkers. Aren't there rules about not working more that 40 hrs in a week? Bastards. I use with gay abandon, sod the rules.

Cunningly hidden VioletV, but not well enough that I don't have half a nipple slightly showing

What is this news of positive stickage??! Trying to sneak it in under the radar or something? Well, I will say no more, but have my fingers crossed that you will be splashing out on a spend stick soon. Hopefully we will be celebrating good news on the Fred soon.
You must be knackered after all that work. That is quite some hours you have had to put in.

Cakes, more hugs to you. LIke Starry I can't think of any good, useful sentences, but all love and strength and best wishes heading your way. And to you Katkin.

I had an imaginary line a few months back. This one is real - Clearblue told me so, so have talked to my doctor and everything this morning. Apparently with the cuts etc, it is unlikely that I will get an early scan etc on the NHS. Oh, I wish I knew how to get what I need from the fucking medical establishment. I was hoping that two miscarriages might make them care a little more. AARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

I wasn't going to make a big deal of the positive test thing, as am anxious etc, but I spoke to my doctor in the interim and am now upset and shooting from the hip!

Not tired or emotional or anything...

ps - Cunty - yes, I hate that. Esp when they post one of you when you're a bit bigger than you would like, AND you're on the edge of the photo where the lens stretches you a little wider... hate that! Only thin people on edges!

brownie my MW sent me to the EPU with a big fat porkie about not existent abdo pain. I know this is bad and immoral but I was so anxious she felt it was necessary for my and the baybee's health. May be worth speaking to MW ASAP?

moleskinisn'treallymadefrommolesisit? Detag yourself immediately. Inform your friend of the nice photos only rule on facebook. Some people!

Goodness Brownie. May I be the first to bundle you offer you tentative congrats and fervent hopes that this little blighter sticks? You deserve it after everything you've been through. Stick little BOC stick!

You would have thought the NHS would be quite keen to help this one along. You would have thought. Grrr. Rest assured that SamCam or Miriam would have had early scans. Grrrrr. Which PCT are you? I think though from what I have heard, that a private scan doesn't cost as much as you would expect. So if you can afford it, you might want to look into it. Hugs Wet cod slaps to you.

So I was second

congrats Brown. Echoing Rie with the sticky thoughts. Your shifts sound horrid. Hope you've got some time to rest up now?

Kat & Cakes* thinking of you both. I can't imagine how you both feel & don't want to sound trite so am saying very little other than hoping for better times to come for you both.

Brownie I am going to do a tiny little dance and show one ankle then attack you with the superglue because THIS ONE MUST STICK, I DECREE IT.

I would recommend a private scan around 9 weeks if possible. Don't know where you are but the place I went to was a bazillion times better than the NHS scans I've had as I also didn't qualify for any early scannage on the NHS even though I was actually going properly mental with anxiety about it all, because they are bastards.

Moley I am sure you can de-tag yourself. I have detagged myself from most photos because I am a miserable bugger who does not photo well unless provided with proper lights, camera etc and professional assistance.

Ps. Kitty am v.glad your EPU were lovely. Being listened to is so important and yet so many health care people are so very, very shite at it. At my local GP surgery there is one really good GP who is a very good listener so everyone books appts with her instead of their real doctors (including me). Her clinic always runs at least an hour late because of this but it is worth it just to be treated like an intelligent adult and have one's questions answered by someone who gives a damn.

brownie Private scans are definitely not expensive - maybe worth considering a "package" over the duration of the pregnancy? Alternatively, roll up at your nearest (or furthest depending on whether you're on first name terms or not) EPU, lay your accent on thick, complain about spotting & pain, pull your gusset to one side and say "scan this bitch".

starcunt I'm going on a girls night out on saturday. A few of the girls are so "teeny" they're actually the size of children. :( E.g., "omg I went up to nearly 50kg when I was pregnant". Fuck to the off etc. I will be furiously de-tagging on sunday morning. At least one of the girls is bigger than me, but she only gave birth last month so that doesn't count.

congrates brownie joining in ESH ordering for a sticky BOC Will come back for proper bundling and nekkid dancing when you feel like shouting it from the roof tops. I would defo either go the phantom spotting or private scan route to put your mind at rest.

1. Am about to phone St Mary's directly to see if I can blag it.
2. Found private scan clinic nearby.
3. Made an appointment with my doctor who rocks (first available one is two weeks on Monday...)
4. Texted work to find out what has happened in my absence.
5. Am still in bed... Though not for much longer.
6. Am off to see my friend and her new baby. For the first time.

Cakes - squeeze for you.
Kat - same to you!

ps - thanks for good wishes. Will now attempt to forget that this is happening.

Congrats brownie :) -will do tentative quiet dance for you until the official celebrations are under way...

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and advice and stories and hugs. It really does help. I am feeling slightly better today. Had a long chat with nurse at epu this morning. She had the calmest, most reassuring and comforting voice I have ever heard -she must have decades of experience dealing with the likes of me. Am a little bit in awe of her.

Asked her a lot of stuff -she says the BOC actually stopped developing at 6-7 weeks, not 5, and that it was definitely there. For some reason, after trying for so long, it was important to me to know that something definitely did happen, sperm and egg did really hook up. I know that's the dreaded 'at least you know you can get pregnant' line, but it did actually matter to me.

She also didn't think I was likely to pass it naturally very soon :( Apparently you can see on the scan if the miscarriage is imminent, as the sac has started sliding down, and mine was showing no such signs, so it might still be another couple of weeks.

So I think I am going to go for the medical (pills) route. The first appointment I could get was for Monday, so still have a few days to think about it. I know some of you here favour the surgical d&c route, and lots of women on other messageboards I've read seem to think the same, but having spent the last 18+ months reading about and researching various fertility problems, I'm terrified of the potential scarring of the uterus with the d&c. I know the chances are miniscule, but I think I'd rather try to handle the pain of the pill-induced process. I may come to regret this...

Oh Cakes. Shitty shit shite. Poor you. Am glad you found someone nice to talk to, but it sucks for sure.