Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

PS Cakes, I don't know, I really don't. It's up to you. Maybe Brownie will have some advice. She had a rotten time so knows what she's on about.

cakes am so very sorry, really am. I felt sick when I read your post- It's just so unfair.

Don't even think about stuff being not for here- this is exactly what we're here for. What did the hospital say in terms of time frame? When I mc last year, after the scan that showed I was behind my dates (should have been 7+2, showed 5-6) I knew it was game over, as was very sure of dates, but they sent me away for a week. As I was going on holiday I made appt for two weeks instead, and during that time mc'd by myself. Started with brown spotting once. Twice next day, and three next. On fifth day had quite painful cramps, then once I'd stepped over threshhold of house on return from holiday had to go to the loo a few times, and when had scan next day it showed I'd passed the sac, so that was evidently 'it'. I then bled heavily for a couple of days, then for another ten days or so. I'm telling you this just so you know that at 5 weeks it can be relatively 'easy', and not that painful. I managed with over the counter painkillers. Although I didn't need the erpc etc, if I'd not gone on holiday I may have been offered it, as nothing had happened by then. In retrospect, I personally am glad that I didn't have one, but the bugger with these situations is that they do all seem very different and there's no clear pattern. If you've already had a bit of bleeding did they say it's more likely to happen naturally? It really depends on whether you want to wait it out too. I know I would probably have preferred not to, but because of holiday sort of had to. I'm not making any sense now, so will stop waffling- If there's anything else you want to ask definitely do- I know that very sadly there are lots of different mc experiences on here, and we'll do our best to help.

So sorry again.

kitkat sending all the BESHly love I can muster to you too. So pleased that you have been able to shout out at people for help, you go girl.

Now the pair of you come into this very special extra treatment room for all the pampering you desire, with doughnuts and chocolate eclairs, and very fit boys with little apparel on,who's only task is to cater to your every whim. And we'll all take turns too.

cakes my advice is erpc. If you were earlier on I would say different. But after 8 or 9 weeks I reckon erpc is the best way. It ain't nice but it's less evil and is done with whilst you are asleep not when you are screaming and swearing. I am comparing 11 week erpc with 9 week medical.

There is no nice way, it is a horrendous choice. But if it happens to me after 8 weeks again, erpc will be my choice. General versus cocodamol is easy choice.

If they compare it to heavy droid, ignore. That is not relevant past six weeks. If you don't go for surgical it will hurt, so get them to give you tramadol.
Also medical is less effective for mmc. Is better before nine weeks.

Obviously depends on scan results. If you have a five week sac, try to do natural, but if you have 11 week uterus like I thought, go for erpc.

It doesn't have to be awful. Have a good chat with your hospital and they will help you make a choice. I personally think after 9 weeeks erpc will be the best way but all women are different.
It's a shit choice anyway and I hope your mc nightmare will be over soon

Sorry besh have been in vomit hell so only seen stuff today. Cake - I had an erpc (d & c) for mmc at 12 weeks. Foetus was measuring about 10th weeks so hence decision for surgery. I also wanted it out of me ASAP so I could start to come to terms with it. Procedure was fine (apart from waiting without food all morning). I had a general for it and not much bleeding after a couple of days. You definitely need a few days/week off at least after it. My last m/c was at about 6 weeks and happened at home naturally. Had some period type pain and some bouts of heavy bleeding sitting on loo. Just my point of view on it. So sorry you are facing this.

For this pregnancy I am doing daily heparin injections and Aspirin.

So sorry dear besh.

Kat I am sorry stuff is so hard right now. Will post more tomorrow.

Oh Cakeycakes :(

Kat I wish you lived near me, I know where you can get free counselling for such things. Boo Hiss.

So you get free BESH counselling here for free instead. Is that ok? And free virtual foot massages

I luff you Boo

The drugs was mega painful for me. Is not necessarily so bad for everyone, but I was on gas and air during it and still in excruciating pain. It was very horrible. Erpc was much better in my opinion. It was scary at the time but over very quickly.
Basically the drugs are used to induce a quick miscarriage so make cervix dilate double quick. Is less effective for mmc, they say 70% success rate.
You must be 11 weeks surely? I was that last year when I had the first mmc and I had the op.
They are happy help let you wait it out naturally for a couple of weeks. You have a reasonable odds of it completing in that time. A natural mc may be painful. But less so if your scan shows there is no fetus to pass. Sorry for the tmi. I personally found it emotionally too difficult to wait it out so opted for management both times.

Thank you everyone. I luffs you all!

I am 10 weeks, but the embryo died at 5 weeks. The sac however continued developing (at the scan she said she saw a large sac, with little in it). I suppose it will be passing the sac that can make it more painful or difficult?

Having only had today to think about it and trying to get my head around everything, I also think it will be emotionally difficult to just wait. I feel very strongly that I want this over so I can move on. Reading a bit about the drugs, it does seem to often be quite painful, but then the idea of a general anaesthetic for the erpc scares me (I've never had a GA).

I think I will call up the epu tomorrow and go over everything (I was woozy and sobbing at the actual scan today, so didn't register all that was said) and see what they think.

cakes You're sounding surprisingly strong, I really hope you're OK. Have you called the epu yet? Because my mc was so early it happened naturally and was more painful than a "normal" period but not unduly so. Knowing what I know now about my body, I would opt for the erpc because my cervix has been welded shut and no amount of drugs will open it. Heavy contractions when the door is welded shut was excrutiating. But I think everyone is different, on another messageboard I used to use I remember reading about a lady who mc'd at 10 weeks. She was in the queue to check-in at the airport when she said she felt something slide out, about the size of an egg. :( No pain associated with it.

Btw, AIBU to think if Ms. Sarkozy has gone down the IVF/gender-selection route and is now expecting OMG grrrrl twinz!1! lol! then she should just fucking admit it rather than pretending she's not actually seriously underweight, 112 years old and formed from plastic and botulism?

I think it undermines everyone who is struggling to conceive naturally and makes them wonder what the hell they're doing wrong. I salute Marcia Cross and SJP who were very open about their fertility struggles. But when you've got Sarkozy/J Lo/Mariah saying "oooh it's all natural, I'm just a little fertility goddess me" it makes me feel quite punchy. Just admit you're a lucky bastard who's the wrong side of 50 40 and you may or may not have addiction problems but you're rich enough to afford ICSI.

Cakes I mc at 7 weeks and it happened of its own accord which in retrospect was the best thing for me as I have also never had a GA and that would have really freaked me out. It was properly painful for about half an hour BUT I think had I not been so terrified and if someone had told me it would only be that painful for a short time I would have been okay with it, also because I had not had the fateful scan like you I was too worried to take any proper painkillers whereas at least you know you can trough the cocodamol which I think would have done the job. Information is definitely what you need; at a pace you can absorb - there's no way you'd have been ready to absorb anything like that at the scan. Take your time and weigh up what is right for you and what the EPU recommend - and pliz accept much support and unBESHly hugs from all of us. xxx

Kat I send you hugs also and hope you are okay. xxx

Sorry for recent absence, have not been here much but had to come and add my hugs to the BESH pile on for Kat and Cakes am so, so sorry that you are having to deal with this utter pile of crap.

Cakes I hope you get good support and advice from the EPU and are bale to make the right choice for your situation. Things are so unfair. This whole business is entirely unfair.

Bet most of them have used donor eggs. Isn't it strange how many slebs have twin baybees compared to the normal statistical occurrence of twin births in the non sleb population. Egg donation and icsi is obviously what is needed to get double diffed fast. If only I could afford it...

Thank you BESHes for being so nice to me yesterday. MrKat has taken the day off today to look after me and accompany me to the epu for a chat with them.

cakes how are you today? Hope the epu are helpful. I'd never had a GA before either, or any sort of operation so it is quite scary. But the plus side is that it happens while you are asleep. Whatever you go for, you will start to feel a bit better when the mc is over. The waiting in limbo is the worst part for me. Much love to you and mr cakes.

Alps I had the same experience as the lady in the airport, only it was on the loo. I had a huge painful cramp - but no worse than some of the chronic period pain I have experienced in my life. Yes, it was upsetting and I cried buckets, but I believe that doing it naturally helped me much more with the grieving process. I have a friend who took the drugs for an mc and hated it - she said the cramps were like labour pains - having been through both an induced labour and a natural mc I can say that my mc pains were nothing like labour pains.

I was a lunatic after my first miscarriage and d and c- but that said, I was 23 and in a relationship with one of the most selfish men boys in the world. They put me straight on the pill which sent me haywire. Then I had an infection and ended up back in hospital anyway. Ex boyfriend treated me like an inconvenience, whereas MrBoo of course couldn't do enough for me, star that he is.

Anyway - I digress. I don't want anyone to think that I'm trying to influence them not to go the medical route - everyone's body and feelings are different - I am merely hoping that by telling you about my experiences it might be helpful. We are here to pamper you whatever you decide Cakes.

Alps I agree with every single last fucking syllable that you have written about Mme Sarzozy. Twinz? Age 43? With a "mature" husband. Admit it woman. Why can't you? Sophie and Edward did, not that I am a fan of the Wessexes (I mean, who would be?).

I wrote this somewhere else today; I also fear that we would get a terrible shock if we saw Carla without make up. Also, for the record, the thought of shagging that poisonous dwarf Sarkozy* makes my innards rebel.

*Disclaimer: I do not have anything against short people. My own husband is short. Vague G&S reference.

That's Gavin and Stacey obv. Not Gilbert and Sullivan.

Cake and Kate I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are both going through such a horrible time . I'm afraid I can't add anything useful to the fabulous BESH advice but can distribute huge hugs all round with extra bum-squeezes to all.

And yes, what a load of shite from Carla-too-thin-to-possibly-conceive and self-obsessed Carey. There's no justice in the world.

cakes and kitkat- apart from sounding delicious, how are the pair of you this evening?

Ski I was only ranting about the very same thing this morning. Why is it seen as a taboo subject to admit that you are struggling to conceive? It makes my blood boil.

:) at sounding delicious.

I'm not ok. I think sounding surprisingly strong was to do with getting my pragmatic hat on in order to cope yesterday.
Now I'm starting to feel increasingly scared of what is going to happen in the next few days. I really don't want to have to do this. I didn't speak to the epu today after all, just been trying to deal with everything. Slow panic starting to set in now though, and I really will speak to them tomorrow. I need to get this over and done with. My stupid body is doing nothing right now.

Shit.

Cakes lots of love, feel useless but we're here for you to rant / cry / be scared and anything else you need. Hope the EPU can help you talk through what happens next so you can at least feel you have some control back in such an unbearable situation

cakes, am so sorry this is happening. So sorry. Tried about three sentences after this, but all lame and don't say anything useful, so just sending hugs and don't care who knows it.

Ditto Cakes. All ESH arms around you xxx