Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

[Ariesgirl]

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

She posted yesterday you loon. Still at home as far as I know :o

'cos there has been a distinct lack of wrestling on this fred of late>

arsebiscuits bold fail.

oh, well, yeah, not like I'm bovvered or nuffin, (or a sad scary obsessed stalker)

Is there jelly? I like to wrestle in the jelly, as long as it's not lime.

Y'know I might have won some Xboxes but they aren't here yet. And no-one's dropped them round or phoned or emailed or anything. What if I don't get them ever ever ever? :(

We'll still think you rock. Does the love and adoration of a bunch of barren old lesbians make up for hours of computer generated fun?

I'm not sure. Adore me some more, then I'll tell you. :o

Goddamnit, some people need a right good kicking. That's on a par with 'hun'.

Boooo someone on one of the other freds won some nice boots off here, they definitely turned up so I would imagine they will arrive at some point. But if not you should rant and wail at them.

boo did droid arrive over night? and if not did you retest with FMU. and if not WHY NOT?

kat glad you are feeling able to resurface and get back on the ttc horse. You are amazingly resilient. Hope you get some answers to what is going on soon (and a sticky bean) x

i was rolling with the pitterpatterpoop pap pone

where the bloody hell is boo? To be fair if she had got a BFP this morning I think i might have heard about it via other forms of more direct communication by now. Humph.

Eh? What's this? Boo? A stick? Eh? What? Where is she? Boo? A stick? Eh?

It's a slippery slope though rocket, you find yourself saying "bean" in jest and then you'll start sprinkling us with dust and putting up fucking banners for angel-baybees and then where will we be?

Fucked pone fucked. You are right of course, its the thin end of the wedge. Like the time when i went on holiday to cornwall and everyone was saying 'rad' so i started saying it as a piss take and then looked a right twat when i got back to the midlands and couldn't stop. I stand suitably chastised.

Does anyone want a black cat? He's very friendly and quite well behaved as long as you don't move anything in your house out of it's place (I think he has ocd) Also he seems to believe that our sole purpose on this planet is to to open doors for him. Like this morning when he woke me up at 4 am to let him out of the front door because he is too bloody regal to use his cat flap. He is currently asleep on our bed and I am sorely tempted to 'accidentally' sit on him. :(

In fairness they do look awfully like a baked bean at first on the scan pics. About the same size, too. And as we know to our cost, they often fail to stick, damnit. So I am going to allow such sentiments but only if accompanied by a timely punch in the arse.

Why are all cats a bit rubbish and why do we put up with them lording it around the bloody house as they do? Why? I'm going to buy a hampster instead.

They look like prawns and the word prawn should be pronounced as it is in District 9.

What's happened to our mrbitey ? She has a very mischevious cat - well, she did. Last I heard she was en route to the PDSA the river with a brick and a coal sack.

Hahahahahahahahaha. I do so luff you funny wimminz.

That is all.

Nuffink. White stick. No line. Period pain and no patience with smallboo. Nuff said.

Damnit Boo .

Bites is in the wilds of Wales this week I think. Her cat is proper evil.

How does one pronounce the word prawn as in District 9?

My cat is the best And the prettiest.

Bah to the lack of lineage, boo. Is that a bit Freudian? lineage? Line-age? You know what I mean :(

Perhaps NSFW. Depending on their views upon the word "fucking" and their views upon South Africans.

Pah. Freud. What did he know?

My cat is the scabbiest.

I had no symptoms of cystitis when they told me I had piss full of streptococcus bacteria. 3 days of anti biotics later, and now I have the symptoms. Medicine is not supposed to work like this! It has given me an illness I was not aware I had! Bastards!
Can't be bothered being useful today so am watching shit on tv. Bad night sleep last night did not help. How can it be that I can't have counselling on the NHS? I need to find a way to play the system. Although my spa weekend next Friday might make me more relaxed!

boo sorry for lack of line, that is pants.

No no, Boo , our craptaculous mog has managed to half rip one of his ears off and it is not healing. He is truly scabby at the moment. It is gross.

Kitty Antibiotics are the devil's work and always make me feel like utter shite. Spa weekend sounds lovely though. How come they will not give you counselling on the NHS? That is a right bunch of bollocks, that is. I bet it's due to cuts. Would a small voodoo doll of Smugtwat Cameron help in the interim?

Antibiotics give you fungal-foof You should watch out for that Kat.

What? What? I am not obsessed with thrush, I'm not.

I was on the train earlier trying to read Fred when my phone died. I swore loudly as I had my headphones in. The man sat next to me didn't look too impressed. He was reading the Daily Mail. I rest my case.

Bollocks to no line Boo

We don't have a cat. I want one (who mentioned child substitute???) but MS says no because I am away with work too much. I might just steal one from next door they have loads.

Wol I would like a Cameron voodoo doll please. And a Clegg one.

Oh also a man pissed in the corner at the bus stop in Clapham this morning when I was standing next to him. Utterly vile.