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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

1000 replies

Ariesgirl · 28/03/2011 22:21

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

OP posts:
kat2504 · 10/05/2011 08:56

Have just read previous page. Garlic up the foof? Are you thinking that if you have thrush you may get impregnated accidentally by a vampire? I just go for canesten duo myself! Hope it clears up, it is such a nuisance, I seem to get it twice a year without fail.

MadameBoo · 10/05/2011 10:16

Sneaking on whilst at work but good to see you Kitty

Ariesgirl · 10/05/2011 10:35

Hello Kat, nice to hear from you and it all sounds very sad :(

I'm glad you're being seen and they're taking things seriously. Very sorry you're going through this.

OP posts:
owlbooty · 10/05/2011 10:36

Hello lovely, get yourself a large box of magnums and sit in the sunshine. You deserve nice things. x

BrownB · 10/05/2011 10:54

Kat - welcome back. What a shit run for you, with a urine infection to add insult to injury. Hugs from me too. Though I refuse to do that brackets thingie...

If any of you are interested, I could let you have the benefit of my experience of repeated urine infections too....? No I didn't think you'd be interested, but the best advice I had for this is short, so I'll let you have it. It involves garlic... NOT!! Grin The real advice is to drink a small glass of cranberry juice every day. If you get an infection it's too late, but a glass a day will keep your bladder all nice and clear. Simples. Do I do this now that I'm infection free? Of course not.

And Kat for sake of clarity, garlic is only used in desperate cases when everything has been tried and nothing bloody works. And of course to keep the vampires away from your bed at night...

Ariesgirl · 10/05/2011 12:11

I have thought of a new term for thrush . It's foof-fungus. Or fungal-foof - which sounds better? I like the second one better - it sounds like an amusing play on jungle-foot.

I used to get cystitis as soon as I looked at a cock more or less. You are me, BrownB.

OP posts:
cakeandcava · 10/05/2011 15:58

Fungal-foof is genius. This may now enter my vocabulary and come out at some unfortunate time.

Kat big hug to you (that's right!). Sounds like you had a horrible time. Hoping the worst is over, and that you're looking after yourself. Very glad you're being sent for investigations -it'll help to feel like something is happening and being done.

MadameBoo · 10/05/2011 21:43

Fungal Foof :o

Feeling pre-droidal but am fine. Didn't want a win his month anyway so screw you, fertility Gods and Goddesses. Anyway, I won 2 xboxes so at least I won something. :o

BrownB · 10/05/2011 23:38

Today I ate healthy fresh honest-to-god, DIET-LIKE food. Without even intending too. No cake, chocolate, crisps, biscuits... So why, oh why am I still looking two sizes too big? I want instant results fuckkit. :(

Boo - do you play x-box now that you have won some? I didn't picture you as a Halo fan... Grin

BrownB · 10/05/2011 23:40

Halo would be good for pre-droidal rage come to think of it. You get to blow shit up.

starcuntmole · 11/05/2011 06:55

Hi kitty glad to see you , and kudos on surviving the crapness. ^am on iPod so won't be able to type for long before I get applerage, so just checking in, but do have wonderment of how many people have experienced ovulation bleed? It's not at all much, but I've not had this before mc, and three times since- not counting weird two week early period. aIBU to be concerned and finally demand my dildocam? Ta haglets. Let's have a pileon. With cream and chocolate.

kat2504 · 11/05/2011 09:36

Applerage - love it! fungal-foof is good too!
On the opposite level of vocabulary, I was dr googling and came across something even worse than babydust. You think it is not possible to be more nauseating than that?

I give you PitterPatterPrayers!

Fortunately I can't remember what forum this was on and in any case they had nothing of any intelligence to say.

I have never had an ovulation bleed. If it wasn't for piss sticks I wouldn't have any idea when I was ovulating.YANBU to want a nice bit of dildocamming. I have never found it that great myself but each to their own. Perhaps there is a sexy sonographer in your hospital or something not an ageing lady?

MadameBoo · 11/05/2011 13:53

She has got a sexy doc Kat - yes MoleFlanders, fling thyself on the mercy of the NHS.

I have a confession to make. I am not as zen as I have been making out. I POASed this morning (I have no idea why) and got an evap line. It appeared 20 mins after I did it then when I went home for lunch it was gone. I am now in the depths of despair. I had been looking at evap lines and discovered that some people only got them when they were pregnant. I'd never got one before. Anyway, I am trying to receover my 'didn't want another January baybee anyway' sangfroid. But I just want to go home and go to bed. :(

MadameBoo · 11/05/2011 13:55

Can't believe I didn't mention the pitterpatterprayers! I have nothing to say except

AlpinePony · 11/05/2011 14:01

starcunt All I can say is that I never had mid-cycle bleeding until I took to examining the bog roll with every wipe. Hmm

kat lovely to see you back Miss lovely. "PitterPatterPrayers"? ugh, makes you punchy, non? The worst thing I ever saw was on the WTEWYE forums - banner-tastic, but the worst best of the worst best was "High School Seniors TTC". Is this not akin to "A-level students fucking under coats?". Baybees planned at 17? Shock And multiples of them! Shock I was clearly the oldest by at least a decade, so made my excuses and left.

Boo oooooh exciting! Grin The problem with the double birthday thing can be averted by hiding the 2 x-box packages and dishing them out as birthday gifts until you've won the lottery.

I will not be woofling this month, due to him being a monstrous arsehole marital differences we have only done The Sechs once. And as Smiffy said "that doesn't count, it was rubbish".

MadameBoo · 11/05/2011 14:41

Alps don't get excited. I POASed again at lunchtime too and got nada. Then I was telling MrBoo all about it who interuppted me mid story to ask me an irrelevant question. AIBU to deck him when I get home from work? Angry

starcuntmole · 11/05/2011 19:43

YANBU! Males- pah. Sounds like a head fuck to threaten even the most zen like Ma'am, any developments? When you ackshally due on? How do you feel? How do your boobs feel? Would you like me to check?

alpenoriginal Is that the one Smithy did that resulted in Neil?

Thanks for input vis a vis the red stuff. Am really not a hyperchondriac normally, much more of the duck down, think of something else, and it will probably go away ilk, so guess am testing waters to see if it's the sort of thing to ignore, or not to- am with you on the 'finding out alot more about bodily fluids since ttc' front ski- could well have had this before and not seen

MadameBoo · 11/05/2011 19:50

My teeth are aching in antici.....pation already Cunty.

BrownB · 11/05/2011 20:10

Toe nails curl up to knees. Nice. Pitterpatterprayer. Fucking hell. These women are supposed to be adults no? I am also waiting with baited breath Cunty.

2WOOFL-ing has just started in my head house. Have been nauseous all fucking day. What do you mean that 7DPO is too early for morning sickness?!?!?

Boo - I am with you on not choosing a January baby. My 2 brothers, and two nieces are born in the 31 days after Christmas. My two best friends, DP and sister-in-law are the month before Christmas. So in truth, if I could have a say in it, I'd choose April or May for my child's birthday. As for POAS action... I made myself properly mad a couple of months ago with faint lines (evap lines that didn't disappear in the most part). I wouldn't recommend it, but am aware that these things are not the stuff of rational thought...

As for ovulation bleeding, YANBU to want the doctor to refer you immediately. Have been thinking I need to go see the doc. Ovulation pain should not be so bad you think you may have to go home from work, and last three whole days. And cause pain when you have sex FFS. Not cool, not normal, but I get so sick of being patronised.

MadameBoo · 11/05/2011 20:24

Brown Smallboo is a Jan baby. I can't afford another one... Wink

InTheSunshine · 11/05/2011 21:04

Glad to see you Kat, sorry for all the shittage my love.

Ov bleeds, implantation bleeds - I think they are just a ruse, just natures way of fucking with us poor TTC lunatics. I agree with Brown about the referal tho.

Boo did you slap Mr Boo?

I'm just hoping that my cycle lasts past 21 days this month, any kind of extension would be good.

PitterPatterPrayers ? I am lost for words.

MadameBoo · 11/05/2011 21:27

Nah, Sunny he was nice when I got home so I forgave him. And I bought him fish and chips. :o

starcuntmole · 11/05/2011 21:58

word wizardry fail fail fail can't think of anything

mmmmchips.

starcuntmole · 11/05/2011 22:00

sunny have you tried just relaxing? Wink

starcuntmole · 11/05/2011 22:03

what day you on just now?

Anyone seen aries btw- has she gone away and I've forgot again?

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