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Conception

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Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

1000 replies

Ariesgirl · 28/03/2011 22:21

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

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AlpinePony · 28/04/2011 09:03

Most of us have a little blue blood though - even if transfused by an "under the stairs" assignation! Wink I'm descended from Mary Queen of Scots - but I don't shag my cousins and marry my husband's murderer.

Chelsy is the South African (?) blonde bombshell who looks like she falls over in nightclubs but keeps her pint un-spilled. The sort of woman you could identify with. She also works and studies.

MadameBoo · 28/04/2011 09:12

Cool. I'll have to get a new passport then. We'll have to get the BESH choir in order ready for the big day Rie. And Truffs and Cunty can write a new song in honour of Mrs and Mr Pone.

How are you today Kat? I've been thinking of you xxx

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BrownB · 28/04/2011 09:52

If "The Tudors" is to be believed, it's no surprise we all have a bit of royalty kicking around in our genes. If you're of Oriental/Asian extraction, apparently about 8% of the male population have Genghis Khan's Y chromosome.

Always wanted to go to Copenhagen... And to have a big dress. Have to confess that I'm a little bit taken by the pageantry of the wedding tomorrow. I fondly remember being prised out of bed (NZ time) by my mother to watch Lady Di walk the aisle. "And then they lived happily ever after..."

I also hope you're okay Kat.

Ariesgirl · 28/04/2011 10:20

Why would you? Why? Why? Why? Why? I mean, why would you? Why?ShockShockShockShockShockShockShock

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BrownB · 28/04/2011 10:24

hahahahahahahahhaaa! That little google search has made my day. People are mad huh? Grin

rocketleaf · 28/04/2011 10:36

You just can't buy that kind of class.

AlpinePony · 28/04/2011 11:07

Well I do like the dresses you've picked out for me but since I very first heard about this there's been no other in my heart 1.bp.blogspot.com/_VcAlkbh0YEo/TAMEpD5vMqI/AAAAAAAAAZI/E1khcGzLXqs/s1600/weirdweddingdresses-hellokitty-01.jpg - we'll fly of course away on honeymoon on Hello Kitty airlines (yes, for real, in Taiwan).

kat2504 · 28/04/2011 12:51

At home alone today so feeling crap and so far have not even managed to het dressed. Watching shit tv. Dreading the hospital tomorrow. Need to get some shopping in but fear a nervous breakdown in asda. Will just walk to local shop perhaps.

I'm even going to miss the bloody royal wedding. Will sky plus it!
Am now going to look at these besh nuptial links as I need a laugh.

kat2504 · 28/04/2011 12:55

Nice choice alps. Reckon waity Katie won't look anywhere near as classy! I liked the one on big fat gypsy weddings that lit up.

Who is presiding over your wedding?

AlpinePony · 28/04/2011 13:16

I'm thinking the Hello Kitty dress, with the cut out for my fat tummy pregnancy (possibly phantom? - after all, it's my special day and the lack of a baybee should not ruin it) - I also like the "tits oot" style of brownb's offering, I mean if you've got it flaunt it right? You're right though, it's going to need some fairy lights.

Kat I'm going to need a henzilla, are you up for the job? Everyone will be expected to attend the 8-day Hen "night" at a personal cost of up to 4000 smackeroonies each. Now, what are your suggestions? Nobody is allowed to drop out and ruin my special day.

AlpinePony · 28/04/2011 13:17

Oh and if it's not too much trouble can you all lose some weight/get botox/spray tans - no uggos in my hen photos pls. Think TOWIE.

kat2504 · 28/04/2011 13:41

Oooh this could be the next Fred the BESHt hen party!
I suggest a cruise to exotic parts where we land in different places to check out the most fertile menfolk of those shores. Jizz tourism, if you like.

AlpinePony · 28/04/2011 14:01

Oooh are we going to Euro-jizzney?

InTheSunshine · 28/04/2011 21:03

Jizz tourism you say? I'm up for that.

Ski my particular favourite is the short type dress, top that with some stripper shoes & you're wedding outfit is good to go [cgrin] (*Rie where the hell did you find that website?)

Today's episode at the FC went something along the lines of this - Mr Sunny you have faulty white goods. Mrs Sunny you have poor ovarian reserve and your progesterone levels are a bit odd hence your short cycles. Come back in 3 months. Goodbye.

I have eaten a family size bag of crisps to compensate Sad

Ariesgirl · 28/04/2011 21:15

SunnyD I just googled Awful Wedding Dresses. I didn't look at the actual site - is it dodgy?

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InTheSunshine · 28/04/2011 21:17

Not dodgy - just funny. I am currently watching Gypsy Weddings - those guys top them all!

Truffkin · 28/04/2011 23:39

cannot believe I've missed trashy classy wedding chat today. I'm hoping you start an AIBU thread Ski along the lines of 'my bridesmaid has suggested she might wear the same underarm deodorant as I am planning to wear on my big day. Seriously, has she got some sort of ishoos with making my wedding all about her? AIBU to sack her and ask another girl I know who is fatter and uglier than me so I look even more fantabulous in my photes?

I'm hoping there are going to be romantic ice sculptures surtounding the neon-lit chocolate fountain display.

BrownB · 29/04/2011 13:55

I've been glued to the television. [cblush]

BrownB · 29/04/2011 13:56

Though of course Alps - yours is going to be much better.

Ariesgirl · 29/04/2011 18:30

Award for Stupidest Hat goes of course to Zara Phillips

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rocketleaf · 29/04/2011 20:07

surely not rie? this would beat it for sure

MadameBoo · 29/04/2011 22:08

Beatrice looked like Herne The Hunter. Beats Zara hands down.

MadameBoo · 29/04/2011 22:15

Anyway I have had an ace ace day. Started with a party last night, a lie in, breakfast in bed, a trip to Birmingham to see Thor, then all you can eat chinese afterwards. Now watching Pride and Prejudice in bed.

I have fallen in love with <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=2.bp.blogspot.com/-TB4_C6_oVV0/TYuBV4u5e5I/AAAAAAAAEHA/YFHFh6kR2I0/s1600/chris-hemsworth-thor.jpg&imgrefurl=exuimus.blogspot.com/2011/03/down-to-nine.html&usg=__sOLPz6ArP4lN-oKsgCMF78wniEw=&h=300&w=300&sz=16&hl=en&start=18&sig2=vBzYKFvgtwNZ5PdD2hrh-A&zoom=1&tbnid=iKwpiArL5CFOzM:&tbnh=146&tbnw=150&ei=TSq7TdvQNo3g4wbmhLG-BQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dthor%2Bchris%2Bhemsworth%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DPZG%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D619%26tbm%3Disch0%2C342&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=815&vpy=264&dur=357&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=96&ty=103&page=2&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:18&biw=1280&bih=619" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">him. I don't usually go for beef cake but after seeing the film I can make an exception :o

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