Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

[Ariesgirl]

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

Borwinw? Soz, sneaking on at work!

Reno!!

Hoe exciting! Can I come?

PS, Alps, are you actually a convict or something?

haha ries Not quite. It's just such a pissing palava in the UK. We need to be "resident" in England/Wales for 7 days before we can make an application to the registrar - then the earliest date we can be married is 16 days from there. Or, in Scotland we need a document from the Dutch to prove we're not married in Holland, yet the Dutch won't issue us with anything like that (didn't even want to legally recognise JB as Bear's father) because we cannot prove that we're not married anywhere else in the world - bizarrely we're able to prove that neither of us have been married in Scotland. The fucking hoops! And the Dutch won't marry us for the aforementioned reasons. In an effort to dissuade bogus marriages it's made it impossible for my man to make an honest woman out of me. Therefore, at the age of 35 I had to lose my virginity and live in sin and have a baybeeeee.

boo Vegas is quite possibly cheaper than UK. 5 night stay at the Bellagio + flights = 800 euros. 5 nights in Wales incl. ferry, petrol & "free board at mum's" + wedding = 800 euros.

Huh. We got married in Guernsey and we had to go to the Ecclesiastical Court several weeks before the wedding to swear on the French Bible that we are free to marry and not related to each other by blood.

Welcome to Guernsey!

Ski I understand that Denmark is a very easy and red-tape free country when it comes to nuptials. A friend of mine had her wedding there for that very reason and when my ex-boyf's bro was stationed in Germany, lots of his squaddie mates skipped over to Denmark to get wed as it was sooooo easy. If you're going to Vegas though, bagsy me coming too (I'll happily provide velour trackies for us all to wear with 'Weddin' Wimminz' on the back or some such tat)

One more day to go before another 4 day weekend, I am very much liking this pattern and am wondering how long I could continue it for if I spread out all of my annual leave. Turns out, not long enough to make it worth foregoing a holiday.

hello hags
Have missed a few days so may get round to a bit of back-reading. Feeling like shit still, have had first tablet this morning and have to go into the hospital on Friday to miscarry. Have had all the usual it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you from the doctor yesterday, but didn't they tell me that last time?

Oh well, I gueass I'll have to pick myself up a bit and think about what to do next. It was such good timing to be pg after I had left my job. Now I have to look for a new one on top of it all. If i can drag myself off the sofa.

alps are you expected to write to every country and get proof that you didn't marry there? That's nuts! I am liking the BESHstylee hen party in Vegas idea. That sounds like a fun fred!

KatKit glad you have posted. Have some Panda Pop cola and a 10p mix and an un BESH like hopeful hug. It won't make you feel any better I know but it's all we have.

Hurrah for weddings Alps but blimey it sounds like you are having a bit of a nightmare. Denmark sounds like a good place. I thought Scotland was meant to be easy what with the whole Grenta thing.....

Boo loving the Mumsnet Royalty title....who's called the BESH that?!

Yeah Boo - who's calling the BESH royalty? [cgrin] Am not feeling quite up to that title to be honest. [chmm] But am liking the crowns.

Can't speak for Vegas Alps, but I have a voucher from Reno that I picked up when I was 17 years old:

Marriage Discount
$22.00
Includes:

• Wedding Service
• Music
• Witness
• Cassette Recording of Ceremony
• Marriage Scroll
• Parking

Present this card before ceremony. Photos and videos available at additional cost if desired. Minister's gratuity optional.

STARLITE CHAPEL
80 Court Street - Across from the Court House
ph: 786-4949

This is a true and actual voucher, and of course the fact that it is 19 years old won't mean that it's out of date. If you really want it Alps - I will post it to you. ps - can I come too? [cgrin]

Some girls on a weightloss fred talking about some of us BESH on another weightloss fred. Someone said, 'who are the BESH?' and someone else said, 'Mumsnet royalty'. Made me chortle, although I'm not a Princess anymore.

I wish our wedding had only cost $22. Bargainous :)

[cgrin] love it

Me & MS made a pact last night, that we were going to have a 'concerted effort' for the next 3 months, probably won't make a blind bit of difference but will make me feel like am doing something.

MN ROYALTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is so untrue. I am ignored on Chat or AIBU unless I say something obnoxious. Or unless I get into a fight with someone else who is obnoxious.

kitty glad to see you posting- if it helps over the next couple of days please do come and let it out here. So sorry you still have to go through it all, and so shit about job timing etc. We shall save you the best seat in the disco -right next to the DJ so you can request anything you want.. Aha? I love a bit of Aha- and get your dirnks all night and only spike some of them

boo you'll always be my princess Are you a guru of weight loss? I am failing massively to stop eating the chocolate. This week I have been for three runs, to Zumba tonight, and then eaten an easter egg after each. I am hopeless. Help. (oh, and hot cross buns, don't forget the hot cross buns) I have muscles of steel in my thighs, they're just buried under a foot of blub.

ski what if one of us was a ship's captain, could we marry you at sea? ( I work near a naval college, and could probably get qualified on the way home one day?)

I know Rie, me too (on the snorting front). I rarely enter the world of chat or AIBU. And no BESH would ever start one of those 'Who is your favourite MNer?' freds which make me heave. What are we, 12 years old FFS?!!

Who is my favourite MNer? Why, me of course!

Does that actually happen?? I don't know any other MNers other than us lot.

Arf Arf Rierie [cgrin]

We are just arranging a trip to see Thor on Friday. I'm getting all excited. MrBoo has turned me into a geekwife.

Yes *Sunny every so often someone posts one in chat. I think it's meant to be ironic. Someone usually ends up getting their arse in their hand though.

wtf does arse in their hand mean pleese?

AFAIK it means they got pissed off. Can be used interchangeably with phrases such as 'face on a stand' 'doing a pilchard' and other such 'in a mood' type terms.

I am deffo not MN royalty! No one has ever said 'what Truffkin said' or 'I agree with Truffkin' outside of my ESH safehold. I do sometimes stray outside of these hallowed walls but feel safe when I return.

This evening I have made devils food cupcakes for a royal wedding tea party at work tomorrow. I'm quite comfortable with my excitement for Friday, I can't wait to see all the frocks! Oh the frocks! I might venture to the abbey at the weekend to see the flowers too. And did I mention the tea party? We get to finish work early to eat food, what's not to like about that?!

I agree with Truffkin :o

My Dad always says it Starsinyourcunts (arse in hand). It makes me laugh. He sometimes says 'bum' instead of arse when he's trying to be polite. For some reason that makes me laugh more. I am now going to adopt 'doing a pilchard' as well.

I also like frocks.

I am quite shocked by my excitement about the nuptials. I think it's partly because I have such fond memories of being 6 and Charles and Di's wedding being such a big massive deal. In the past I've been stridently anti monarchy, but my problem now is, if you got rid of them as symbolic heads of state etc they'd just be rich people who don't open or unveil things. And that would be pointless.

Kat Very glad to hear you're safe home from the docs. Have they given you painkillers too? I'm also glad that you've moved house and have him at night to hold your hand rather than being on your own.

truff Denmark could well be in the running - especially as our local airport has started doing bargain basement flights to Copenhagen, and one of my bezzers lives there. :)

Vegas is likely to be "orf", the Dutch do not recognise the legality of Vegas weddings, they seem to assume that you were pissed/stoned when you did it - and you'd need to get it notarised and apostilled. And we'd be back to the getting a letter from every country I've ever visited to say I didn't get married there plus stubs from airplane/boat tickets to prove I was there when I said I was, plus a document from Interpol and afadavits from each and every one of my ex-boyfriends/ONS's to attest to the fact they wouldn't didn't marry me. Then I'd need to hire Pickfords to deliver it all. Although Vegas would be good from a "honeymoon in Tahoe on skis" pov.

sunny Scotland should be easy, and it is - assuming you've never lived outside the UK.

brownB That is an awesome deal. I always wanted to get married by a Rabbi dressed as Elvis whilst sat in a Cadillac - would be easy enough to arrange by the sounds of it - but still not legal.

Aries - so true, I am only spoken to on Chat or AIBU if I say something mildly controversial. I started a topic in Chat a few weeks ago and not one single reply. However I dare you to go on to AIBU and say "who's your favourite mn'er" and then write a little simpering list!

starrycunt YESSSSssss! Marry me on the Woolwich ferry a boat! We could all flirt with marines. Land ahoy! "Periscope up boy!". Fnar fnar.

MN royalty, that's well funny. Maybe Lyra might have fit that description being an actual deity and all but not the rest of us.

Kat, just popping in to say hello and have been thinking of you. Please not to worry about the work situ right now. Just be kind to yourself for a bit and think about that When you are ready. Hope you are getting looked after as you should xx

Have to disagree with this wedding stuff. I am heartily sick of it already. William seems harmless enough I suppose but actually starryeyedmole if we got rid of em (not in a beheading way of course although it's a tempting thought) they wouldn't be rich useless people as we wouldn't be paying them anymore. They would have to work for a living like everyone else. And I really do wonder if Miss Middleton would be quite so interested in the chinless wonder if he werent 2nd in line for the thrown. Cynical? Moi?

Alps, my freinds got married in Gretna and she had just come back from 3 years in Oz and a stint in France plus he is Aussie. Want me to ask what hoops they had to go thru as don't think it was that complex. Mind you they had both been living in the uk for several months prior so maybe that helped. Denmark sounds lovely, always wanted to vist Copenhagen. Shall I buy a hat?

rocket Yep, you only need to have been living in the UK for "minutes" to marry in the UK, but if your permanent residence is outside the UK or you can't commit to a "23 day holiday" you're a bit fucked. Total pita being as we're both obviously scottish, neither of has have been married before so it should be a cut & shut. :(

Totally agree about Kate Middleton - what a fucking waste of space. Stalky-stalky. Far too thin, far too dull, far to socially-ambitious-stalker-nutjob. Did you hear she had a poster of him on her wall at St. Andrews before she met him? Followed him to Chile - bad luck with the timing 'n' all - but the palace didn't release beforehand the exact dates. Weird, when I was little mum used to joke that I'd marry Prince William (I expect to embarrass Bear in the same way obv. e.g., dancing at school discos) - but Kate's mum actually did believe this and set her whole life path out so that Kate would! F'king mental. I like Harry & Chelsy though, you know Chelsy would be fun to be around. Kate would be like a wet weekend.

Well "apparently" she is decended from Mary Boleyn (and Henry viii) so being a royal fucker is in the blood. Ugh, that whole stalkerish behaviour is a bit weird tho eh?

Harry is probably alright as he has no Windsor milksop blood in him but I know very little about his girlfriend. (in the same way I am normally a bit oblivious to all celebrities)

Bugger about the 23 day thing for UK. Hope Denmark works out for you.