Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

[Ariesgirl]

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

Oh man. I missed the north/south divide, horse sechs and screaming.

I have booked a holiday though. It is to Belgium along the coast then across the Dutch border, I shall listen out for the screaming as I drive past.

Some small thoughts:

It is 'bath' if you want anyone in Manchester to understand you and 'baaaarrrth' when you return to the west country. And we should know, after all, Bath is right there in it.

I appear to be watching antiques roadshow. Please someone shoot me.

The children I teach find it v amusing when I say 'I just asked you to do blah blah'. Although my mother thinks it amusing when I add 'did you not?/is it not' to the end of most sentences. I am a hybrid too.

I now am apparently in disgrace for not seeing my mother today. Am fucked off with the whole malarky, and bloody glad there's only one mothers' day a year.

All I wanted was a homemade card, sniff.

Hi owlwithbump how's it twith tyou?

Next year Starrystarryfanjo, when she starts pre-school.

Frangipani? That's my favourite flower, although I have only seen it on holidays and in hothouses. It smells 'mazin'. I had to google the dessert- never heard of it Pineapple with coconut? Yeach. I feel a little queasy. Your MIL must some sort of freakazoid.

Raspberries weren't soft enough. My own fault for eating them out of season. Rest of day has been grand though. I get my lie in tomorrow morning as am working late and MrBoo is doing all the morning stuff that I normally do. Hoorah!

Booboobido Surely that is a pina colada you are referring to with the pineapple and coconut in? I do like those muchly even though I suspect they are common/chavvy/filth/wrong in many ways. I also like Crabbie's ginger wine though and the odd glass of Baileys.

Moley well done on the disgraced state. Mr Boots managed to forget to ring his Dad for 80th birthday and then a week later forgot to post his Mum's mother's day card. He is now in the dog house although luckily can do no wrong in their eyes due to impending state of fatherhood.

As for me I am fucking fucked. I am so tired my eyes look like pissholes in the snow. This is not a whinge; apart from the ridiculous tiredness all is well and I am unbelievably grateful for that. :)

I am not reading this yet because I am having a lie in.

Sorry Boots sounded like I was rubbing it in.

I am working till 9 - for the last time. Work is going to be wierd. All the people that did lose their jobs wll be gone this week :( Our office is going to feel very strange for a while.

owlbooty Pls to PM me details of trip? I may be able to throw stones.

Winky isn't that broken. Man is though. I haz done good job?

Ohhhh don't get me started on pronunciation and the like. I'm from Northern Ireland. I'm not sure if what we speak is even considered English by most. Funny if you think I earn a living teaching furriners to speak English.

Sunny Feckin red-bleeping-fecker. Not fair.

Boo That must be really weird. Kind of happy-to-have-a-job-but-sad-other-people-don't feeling.

Throw stones??? Wah. I am going to De Haan then on to see friends via the islands south of Rotterdam. In summary, waffles erdbeer waffles poffertjes. If you know either of these areas or can recommend anything good do PM :)

Ace work on the man-breakage btw

Boo that is somewhat sucky; I too have enjoyed the public sector sackage-type-event in a past job and it was downright weird and not v.nice. You have my sympathies.

Well done Alps on the JB breakage.

We haven't had a shag since Oz yet

That's me and MrA by the way, not me and you. Or me and JB.

owlie Wellll... the islands eh? I had an affair with a gorgeous Frenchman living on one of those islands (middelburg) - but he's probably moved on and your husband might not approve... other than that what you've described sounds pretty good. With stroopwaffels.

rierie I've been SWIing with MrA though. HTH.

OMG I forgot about the stroopwaffels. They are an invention of pure genius.

Can I just add that I have not had a go on MrA?

Won't get you anywhere alps

Just had to google frangipani. Still confused. Is it a sort of pie?

We're currently on a sechsban, as the husband (do I give him a name?) has to deliver the goods in a cup at our appointment tomorrow. For the n'th time. Poor man is starting to feel like a spermATM.
So I've not had a shag all weekend :(

Mr Cakes? That sounds a bit dodgy though

Poor chap. There is no dignity in TTC. None whatsoever. You may be interested in the acronym JIAP which is like POAS only describes what poor Mr Cakes has to do tomorrow. Although I very much like the spermATM idea.

Is it not an almondy tart thingy? Rocket would know, I'm sure it's her that bakes gorgeous things.

Speaking of cake, I have now eaten two slices for charidee

I feel a bit sick.

I googled it too gateaux and suspect it is of the marzipan family and therefore the almondy paste of satan.

What cake did you have boots?

Yum I like almonds

I haz been inseminated, so now the wait begins .

Oooh. I shall sacrifice some goats in the hope of a win, BB

I too luff the almondy goodness

I had a massive slice of chocolate cake then something unidentifiable. I have just had a little sleep in the clinic and the lovely nurses here have been trying to get me to eat more cake as they had some too, I've had to turn it down as I may explode.

DollMuff much sacrificing and chanting going on chez moi for the good of your BOC to be. Don't go carrying any cakes now.

FizzyWine my hubz is referred to as TGB on here as he is obsessed with all things computer-game related (The Geek Boy). He spent a good proportion of our free time this weekend setting up a home network between the PC and the MacBook to transfer data from one to the other. He was most pleased with himself. Actual. Geek. Also, if we have to be subjected to the pleasures indignity of vagcam then JIAP is the least the menz can expect. He doesn't know he's born (etc)

For clarity, I've not had a go on Mr A but am considering trying out JB as a flexible banjo string could bring an interesting twist (badoomtish) to our lovemaking

Wol good work on the cake demolition. Why not give in to more cake? They are nurses and clearly know what's good for you.

Cannot.stop.eating! :(

Just checked gym website and am signing up to classes. On the other hand I will run out of food sooner or later.

truffs muser and I both poked through pregnancy - I was still puking as they sewed me up. Emesafene is your friend and nature dictates sick pregnancy = easy baybee. BTW knock yourself out with JB, I'm going to have another go on MrA.

Almond. Yes please.
Waffles. Yes please.
Cake. Yes please.

BB everything is crossed for you.

Boo here have this small bottle of panda pop cola and some 10p space raider crisps to make you smile.

I've been off work today. Been to my allotment. Very therapeutic.

Oh and Alps I'm with you on the eating fest. I've just had chips & now I'm shovelling bourbon biscuits like there's no tomorrow!

That'll teach me for joining in the stuff-fest. I worked up an appetite today so of course I have eaten until I am sick. That's the kind of behaviour Edward IV used to indulge in, only he then filled his stomach again