Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

[Ariesgirl]

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

The Italian sounds hideous.

So, Rie - because I wasn't paying attention in class on that day for the sake of not wanting to be put into the "dim and ill-educated" bracket, um.. rules for apostrophes in a nutshell?

Oh and I forgot to say earlier - Happy Mother's Day to all BESH mummies. Hope you've all been treated to cups of tea and breakfast in bed. And all the hopeful mummies have been treated to champagne and breakfast in bed..? No? Me neither.

Oh there's a delightful discussion going on elsewhere on MN, Brownie. There really are some lovely, enlightened, broad minded souls out there and no mistake.

PS

Me neither

aries Yes, I do judge people who say "haitch"! Also people who say "bath" rather than "barth". This is because I'm a raging snob! Actually, the other side of this is I met up with an old family friend last week who is genuine "aristocracy" (i.e., shops once a year in hereford & london but is broke) and she speaks so beautifully. Despite living where they do (and you know where that is), you don't hear many Welsh or even "good" English accents, it's all "estuary". :(

Right - the willy. He twanged his banjo string with "early entry". His own fault entirely. It'll be fine - he's just got to stop jamming in things early.

I purchased the lube. From a display cabinet by the door of the shop. No wonder jb didn't want to buy it!

Not mother's day here.

Remind me never to say haitch in your presence then Alps. I was truly mystified by the whole conversation, to be honest. That it should provoke such venom! As you know, my name starts with HAITCH YES THAT'S HITCH OK AND THAT'S HOW I'VE ALWAYS FUCKING SAID IT OK AND I'M NOT STUPID, NO SIREE, IN FACT I'M QUITE CLEVER ACTUALLY.

The above was what I actually wanted to post in Chat, but didn't due to a fear of being thought defensive and hysterical

You wanted to talk about jb's willy in chat?

Btw, I noticed we had a new needle-user joined us - soz, have forgotten name - I am terrible with names - am actually going to start a thread on Chat about it. Pls to come over and advise. Anyway - happy junkiness newbie! Liked your quiz answers btw.

Fank you Pony -I am in fact a needle user to be, but have done everything up to starting the actual needles.
Going to clinic to get AMH results on Tuesday (that's the 'ovarian reserve' test -basically how much time have you got left before it's game over) and after that could technically start injecting any time but think we're waiting until early May as have a lot on in April (Easter in Lake District with entire in-law family is not a good time to be extracting eggs).

What is the thread you've started?

aries sounds like a classic birthday dinner to remember. At least they tried hard!

I've stayed away from the pronounciation thread as I am sort-of-forrin (moved to UK in 1999) and crap with that stuff. Might have a nosey now though.

I say aitch, but I also say bath. Smallboo says barth though. Where does this put me?

No Mothers day lie in for me today Brown.

MrBoo has just walked in after a night out in Brum. He called me from his Mum's earllier and I asked him to pop to the shop on the way home and bring raspberries, amongst other things. He forgot them. Have I been nice and told him not to worry about it? No I fecking haven't. I got up at stupid o'clock this morning and have already done all the washing up which was kindly left for me, hung out the washing, cleaned the drains (that was fun), cleaned out the cat litter tray and tidied the living room.

Bath is running, I am mumsnetting and I am not lifting a finger for the next three hours at least. They don't call me PrincessBoo for nothing. And I shall have my raspberries and eat them, thank you very much.

Y'know I mean to put a grin up there. Without it I sound like a total brat. Which I'm not, of course :o

However I did leave an apostrophe out of 'Mother's' and am patiently waiting for an erotic beating from Rie.

ps - Boo, you didn't sound like a brat. You did sound like a northerner tho' . I saw the haitch thread. What a bunch of ignorant dickheads. Insert kiwi accent. Or should I say Noo Ziland accent?

See I would write Mothers' , as I see it is the day for all mothers, rather than just mother's day, but apparently, as I've just been told (and am struggling to see the tongue in his cheek) that His mother takes precedence over me, as she's His mother, and that's why he bought dessert that I actively hate (and there's not many food stuffs I can say that about) because she likes it, and I should just 'lump it'.

Am in a foul mood today, PMT anger level, which would indicate I'm going to get a lovely droid as well as stupid bleed, which is a pain in the arse. Gah, someone come here and let me punch their lights out, for the cause Need major violence and/or at least lesbo nudity, with the expectation of some form of erotic dancing.

Really sorry for hopeful BESH that I am being a cow on This Day, it is unrelated I assure you, and the mother bit is much much appreciated, I promise.

sunshineyouaremy cuntsticks to droid.

Oh bollocks, yes you're right. CuntyMum, it is Mothers'. Boo to dessert wars. Wanna come to mine and share my raspberries?

What is the hated dessert anyway? Like you, a hated pudding is a rare one.

Starry, that all sounds like the perfect reason to get in a huff. Boys and their mums eh?

Is it simnel cake moley?

I am very calm about the pronounciation of 'H' but have been known to get vey annoyed when corrected by someone saying it wrong!

Where are you from then pancakesandprosecco? < nosy cah>

Iz it cos you iz Welsh?

Gof. I fucking hate Mothers Day.

I iz Scandinavian actually.

How was your dirty anniversary weekend AuntieDo?

I would like to declare my 'weaker than the last glass out of a well-used squash bottle' opinion about the way the letter 'H' is pronounced. Fank you pliz. I also say bath and grass without an elongated 'a' sound, but I do say 'larf' rather than 'laff' so consider myself in the Boo school of mixed up ness.

We have thankfully had this weekend at home so no visiting of mothers at all. We sent cards and gifts in the post, received phone calls thanking us for them and have enjoyed a lazy weekend consisting of pretty much nothing but a pub lunch yesterday, watching football and a roast beef dinner (still to come) courtesy of the M&S £15 meal deal. Perfick.

Rie I am of your sophisticated birthday meal, the salad had tomatoes in it? Oh my. Sounds like you had a good larf over it anyway. What was the wine like? Hopefully you drowned the food taste away.

Frangipani. stupid name too.

Had a lovely weekend. Chilled out. Drank lots. Ate lots. Did the sechs lots. Perfick :)

What have I missed. I need a summary of the weekends events for everyone.

Summary: My child has learned to crawl and with such developmental shiz fries their brains so he's refusing to sleep. My mum said to me last week "has he got to the stage where he refuses sleep and just hangs on to the bars screaming for 2 hours?". I said noooo, of course not - he's an angel. He's screaming as I type. Serves me right.

Further summary: Apparently I smell of horse. I will wash. If I want the sechs I should wash.

But what about the nob? Should you administer ibuprofen gel first do you think?

ooo definitely first Aries. Just don't get it mixed up with the Deep Heat.

Happy Mothers Day BESHers. Thanks for droid bashing yesterday - it was much required as I couldn't really express my disappointment to anyone I was away with in fear of them telling me to relax & we know what reaction that would have got.

Summary of my weekend Dor - Drinking, laughing and thinking oh I'm getting too old for this not much sleep shiz! Droid apart, it was great. I love my friends but I've come to the conclusion that I love my husband more

Alps hope the screaming stops soon and that you get the sechs (smelling of horse or not)