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Conception

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Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

1000 replies

Ariesgirl · 28/03/2011 22:21

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

OP posts:
MadameBoo · 01/04/2011 18:12

oh and stop moaning about your ages, whippersnappers. I turn 30 this year. :P

MadameBoo · 01/04/2011 18:12

I mean 39. What an ironic typo.

starcuntmole · 01/04/2011 18:12

sorry boo luffs you longtime-seriously took me soooooolong to pluck up the courage to post in here, do you think you could get rid of me that easy. (not before I've had my fill of all the hot lesbian action, anyway)
I'm going to zumba

InTheSunshine · 01/04/2011 19:28

Happy birthday lovely Rie. I'm in Newcastle celebrating a friends b'day (also today). 1st April ladies rule!

cakeandcava · 01/04/2011 21:29

Doris have a fantabulous weekend!! Our first anniversary is in August, and of course my best friend is due to give birth a few days before it

InTheSunshine · 02/04/2011 01:25

Still no droid .....

AlpinePony · 02/04/2011 04:56

POAS! POAS!

I read back the thread last night. I'm a short, fat dwarf with a rack which appears to be diminishing with age. I refuse to check below the waistline to see if it's there. I didn't have any funky clothes in 91. I was so desperate to hide my size/feel normal that I tried to dress in the manner of a sophisticate. Whilst you lot were enjoying James, I was all "Diamonds and Pearls" and "Fairground". Blush Only blushing about the whole Simply Red thing, although it was a great album and Prince is still fucking awesome. Wendy? Lisa?

Well I had the sechs on thurs night which was good timing but jb's willy still a little broken and he won't buy lube because he doesn't want all the women in Boots to shout "BUMMER AT TILL 2!". Hmm So I need to try and find lube which isn't filled with spermicides. Last Tango in Paris anyone?

kat2504 · 02/04/2011 06:42

Buy some conceive plus lubricant from boots. The picture of the lovely smiling baby should prevent him from being called a bummer!! Failing that order yourself some pre seed off the Internet. Both of those are supposed to keep the spermz nice and healthy on their travels.
Why am I awake at half six on a Saturday morning? Am properly knackered but only one week till I leave my job and begin a life of leisure poverty.
Nothing to report here. Hope all the birthday and anniversary celebrating and shagging is all going well.
I see shineys kidneys are already under attack. When is piss stick day then?

Ivegotmrbitey · 02/04/2011 09:37

Oooh sunnyD poas! Am just going to the shops, want me to pick up some sticks?

The kitten cat known as practice is one today and has buttered prawns for breakfast. He has got into bed with the fdh and am praying he doesn't puke! boots 7kg is an enormacat! Are you sure you are not trying to regime Christian the Lion by stealth?

I wonder if she managed to get hold of any mad dog?

Ivegotmrbitey · 02/04/2011 09:39

Regime = rehome stupid iPod!

InTheSunshine · 02/04/2011 12:18

I'm on a girls weekend away so can't POAS & besides it's CD27 today, I'm usually a 25/26 day kinda girl so I'm not getting my hopes up....lie lie lie. I have no symptoms, zero, zilch. Boobs are fine, don't feel sick, the droid is fucking with my head.

Me me me me me. Grin sorry BESHers.

InTheSunshine · 02/04/2011 12:26

Fine. Now I've posted that the bastard has turned up. See told you it was fucking with me.

Ariesgirl · 02/04/2011 12:39

:( Sunny.

What a massive pile of absolute arse. Even though you are telling yourself how rational you are and how you know you're not really diffed, the feeling is awful.

:(

OP posts:
InTheSunshine · 02/04/2011 12:42

Fanks Rie.

kat2504 · 02/04/2011 13:28

Sunny that is crap. As rie says, even if you know you aren't diffed, it's still horrible especially when it is late. And on a girls weekend too. That is most unfair. I hope your weekend has an opportunity for lashings of gin.

Casserole · 02/04/2011 13:38

Sorry Sunny Sad I hope you're at least two drinks down by now.

cakeandcava · 02/04/2011 14:32

Sunshine that is arse :( So sorry. It's always especially horrible when it's a day or two later than normal and you've just started hoping and thinking, maybe...

Second casserole's hopes that you've got plenty of gin at hand.

Truffkin · 02/04/2011 15:34

Sunny absolute arse biscuits, even moreso when away for the weekend with no self-indulgence opps. Hope you are sambuca sotting your way to oblivion.

Cass some sort of energetic sechs-related banjo string snap incident

Pony glad to hear he's recovered enough for well timed sechs. Second the tinternet pre seed purchase. TGB would be exactly the same about buying 'that sort of thing' Hmm and it would deffo be up to me to sort.

Rie what plans are afoot for celebrating this weekend? Am hopeful that you are already half cut and awash with wonderful gifts. Have this Wine from me.

Ariesgirl · 02/04/2011 15:37

Alps, what did happen to Jailbait's nob?

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Ivegotmrbitey · 02/04/2011 16:16

Cuntsticks sunny Sad Angry

InTheSunshine · 02/04/2011 21:52

Can't win a baybee but can drink a shit load of jager bombs. I am regressing.

AuntieDoris · 02/04/2011 21:59

Oops. I sm fairly trolleyed!

Truffkin · 02/04/2011 22:40

Yay for drunk BESH! Hope you escape hangovers tomorrow RayOfSunshine and Oh Dor

BrownB · 03/04/2011 09:50

How is everyone in the Palais this morning? I am having a fabulous weekend myself - my DP is downstairs right now making me pancakes! Grin And my teeth may still be a little red from the wine I drank last night.. Hmm

SunnyD - shit crap poo bum. Your droid and mine are no doubt close buddies (25-26 day girl here too).

Ariesgirl · 03/04/2011 10:35

Would any of you lovely BESHes be so small minded and foul as to dismiss entire sections of the population as stupid and ill educated because of the way they pronounced a certain letter? No? No? Didn't think so. That's because you're all nice and normal.

Dropped or misplaced apostrophes, on the other hand....

Hope everyone's having a nice Sunday and hangovers are waning, where applicable. We went out for my "birthday tea" last night. MrA chose a new Italian in town - sadly one of the waitresses hadn't turned up and the chef was off. But they opened up anyway. The number of "sorrys" I heard was hilarious! Ramsey would have had a fit. My "Mediterranean salad" was whole lettuce leaves and massive half tomatoes stuffed in a bowl, the "tagliatelle" they served up was actually spaghetti, and my panacotta had a skin on it. We were laughing actually, because it was like being thrown back into the 70s. Won't be going again :)

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