Freak out room for those newly updiffed after MC to hold hands and support each other... Part IV

[MummyAbroad]

Newly pregnant after miscarriage? Here is a nice place to hang out and swap symptoms and worries until you are brave enough to sign up to the grads thread.

Here is a link to the old thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1165866-Freak-out-room-for-those-newly-updiffed-after-MC-to-hold-hands-and-support-each-other-Part-III/AllOnOnePage#24507574

Izzy you know your sister best but from personal experience I found it easier to be told over the phone than in person as you don't have to fake a smile. If you think a text would upset her just try calling and gauging her mood to work out if it's a good night. The other thing would be to tell her at what might be a good point for her. I told a very close friend when I knew she was having fertility treatment and therefore we both had the hope she might also be pg (sadly not). I also told her before my parents to demonstrate the importance that I placed on our relationship. I think the key things are to do it sensitively and try and show you value them.

Daisy just because you're pg it doesn't make the feelings leading up to it go away. I spent my first ante-natal appt sitting there thinking "I can't deal with being in a room full of pg women, I don't like being around pg women, they make me feel inferior insecure etc. One minute I am a pg woman - but not really and I don't know how long for"
I also remember someone in my ante-natal class for ds who had been ttc for 10 years saying that just because she was pg it didn't mean that she was deliriously happy all the time and she just felt quite mixed about it sometimes.

So perfectly normal.

But do talk to someone about it in RL.

Could your OH take a long shower or disinfect himself somehow? Emotional support is very important. In the meantime chocolate and a hugging cushion from ikea are not bad substitutes...

thanks everyone for the virtual hugs and kind words. Feeling a little better now. Thanks too for the reassurances on lack of symptoms. I know I'm being silly really and should be enjoying feeling not-sick. It's good to know others are symptomless too at the early stages.

I'm sorry for not name checking everyone, and for being such a flake. I'm off to the lakes with dh, mum, her oh Saturday so hopefully when I'm back I'll be a little less doom and gloom and a bit more cheery.

Collie sorry for your loss. My gran died when I was about 10 weeks pregnant with DS. I had flown back to England to see her but didnt make it in time I felt very connected to her during that pregnancy and gave my son her name as a middle name. Big hug for you, hope tommorrow goes well.

Izz I think your plan sounds good. Do it sooner rather than later though. I put off telling my sis (different reasosn for hesitancy than you) and my mum got in their first! People always ask how far gone you are, and she might feel left out if she wasnt one of the first to know. Good luck and remember she will be happy for you

Daisy a big squeeze for you my love. I agree that asking DH to have a shower and give you a hug sounds really important. Can you sit him down and explain your hormones have gone all wibbly and you NEED a hug. Even if its a planned once a week one? Please stick around on the thread too, its a good place to vent and talk to people going through similar problems. By the way, I was a proper nutcase for the first 4 months of my pregnancy with DS, I did some counselling and it helped loads. xxx

mummya Sorry about your grsn too. that's nice about giving ds her middle name. We've said if this is a girl we'd use her name as a middle name, but that was always the intention. If it's a boy we want to use dh's gradads name as he passed just over a year ago and they were very close.

Thanks everyone too for the good wishes tomorrow. X

((( Collie ))) I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Those pesky symptoms come and go, I think when I had a cold it subdued them, and seem to remember someone else Nix? saying the same thing
Daisy you're not at all insensitive (((hugs))) this will hopefully be my first and everyone around me seems a lot more excited than I am. I'm not even thinking of the end product as I'm too scared it'll go wrong. Try not to be too hard on yourself
Pink I am v at that insensitive moron. Why shouldn't you get the treatment you want?!
Izzy I think a text asking to call sounds perfect, she will probably guess and can then call when she's ready

Sorry for the lame catchup I'm nodding off :)

Friday's stats

Nickster 20+5 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 16+5 EDD 4/9/11 next scan 20/4/11
Wombat33 15+6 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 27/4/11
Daisybell 15+1 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 13+4 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 13+3 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 10/5/11
mamapower 13+2 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 12+0 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Emoo 12+0 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Lovemysleep 11+3 EDD 11/10/11
KnitterNotTwitter 10+0 EDD 21/10/11 next scan 5/4/11
Onions 9+1 EDD 27/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 9+1 EDD 27/10/11
Velvetcu 9 EDD 30/10/11
IreneHeron 8+4 EDD 26/10/11
MummyAbroad 8 EDD 4/11/11
Hils74 7+2 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 7+1 EDD 9/11/11 first scan 29/3/11
Haffertee 6+4 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 6+1 EDD 22/11/11 next scan 4/4/11
Mattsmama 6+1 EDD 17/11/11 next scan 30/3/11

Thinking of.... hairy; ladybee; digi; A&R

A big 12 week whooooooooop to Dachs and Emoo, and double figures for knitter!!!

Thinking of you today collie

Any scandudes today? I am too tired to remember. DH decided he needed the loo at 5:45 this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards .....

Thank you all for your lovely kind messages. I've just had a little weep . I will talk to the MW next week - it was her who signed me off initially so I think she'll be sympathetic and hopefully will be able to help.

OH managed to get clean last night and so we had a nice cuddle/snooze on the sofa for a while. That certainly helped, and helped me feel that connection with him which has been lacking for a while.

Collie I'm so sorry to hear about your gran, will be thinking of you today. Where are you visiting in the Lakes. That's my neck of the woods and the forecast is looking ok for the weekend, just a bit chilly.

Izzy I'm sure your sister will appreciate your sensitivity in telling her, even if the news is difficult for her to hear initially.

Pink am for you too - GRRRR!

Hello twinnie scanner - I'm on the 27 April too

Thank you all again

xxxxx

tigger I just read your post-I think it's a good sign that she thinks you're more likely to lose your notes than your pregnancy

I was thinking about getting a dream genii at the weekend-any of you experienced ladies have any opinions on it? I've had a look at the various mumsnet threads on it and people seem to love it or hate it. I've been waking up with backache so I think it's worth a try unless you guys think they're ruuuubish.

pink I've never heard of a dream genii, is it as magical as it sounds?!

daisy good decision re speaking to mw (and getting dh clean!). Hope you're feeling a little better x

Well it's a week since I got my bfp (well more like twp!) and the cb digi's gone up to 2-3 weeks which is good news - hurrah!! Bit concerned though that I seem to have lost weight despite eating more than usual - anyone else have this? It bothers me a bit because I never put on much weight last time and then of course it all went wrong - in a way it would be much more comforting to be piling it on straight away like I did in my first two pgs!!

Thanks everyone for their advice yesterday - I tested dsis this morning. She hasn't rung yet

daisy sorry youre feeling that way but think it's quite normal. I'm only 5wk but have barely accepted am pg again, I'm certainly not excited, and really don't want to be sharing the news. It's natural to be worried for the pg and what happens after your beatuiful bean comes out, we're trying to start our family too and it's a very scary propsect.

dasiy we're off to Kendal. Mum should have been in scotland for 2 weeks but all had to be canceled so it's just a last min thing in her caravan for the weekend.

pink so [shocked] at your registrar judging you re mc. Silly moose!

velvet that's great you have a reassurace scan on mon, how nice of your mw. Good luck

Also meant to say how I didn't seem judgemental when I asked why people were having private 12 wk scans. Not at all just curious and checking there wasn't something else I didn't to be thinking about. I can't actually believe some of you were forgotten....

izzy glad the lines are getting stronger and your 2-3 week. I've not poas since my cb digi last week, but poas this morn and got a very nice reassuring strong line have one more cb digi, holding out till after the weekend for a 3+ weeks. I wouldn't think losing weight is anything to worry about yet, I know a friend of mine lost a bit of weight in her early stages, although do think she lost her appetite. Your probably using the energy more..... Or does that just like an old wives tale??

Sorry for not doing thorough name check, there's so much to keep up with and I need to go get ready. Feeling calmer today (for now). Thanks for all the well wishes x

Big hug for Collie , hope all goes as well as it can. x

Tigger brilliant comment from your doc; and v.nice to see you and Dachs with your lovely double bonus beans on the right side of 12 weeks :)

Daisy I've suffered from depression since I was a teenager and have found the mc and this pregnancy very difficult to cope with at times - I think it's a horrible combination of lack of sleep, major worry, and not feeling in control which are all things guaranteed to make me feel like shite rather than glowing and marvellous like everyone makes out.

I'm still having ups and downs now - yesterday was a pretty awful day and I couldn't think why the hell I was even attempting to have a child or how I would cope with it which is daft as like you, this baby is very much wanted and planned. I've found it hard to bond in any way and hated the idea of anyone else even knowing I was pregnant hence only just 'coming out' at work and that was mainly because I couldn't hide the sticky out middle any more so had no choice! I'm finding the bonding concept getting a little easier now I can feel him kicking me (and knowing it is a him) but my MW already knows about the anxiety/depression thing and I fully intend to tell her if it gets worse. I am okay at the moment because I have coping strategies but it's far better if they know what's going on in your head as ante-natal depression is very, very common and they will be very used to seeing it - I hope your MW is lovely and supportive but if not then try the GP. Please, above all, do not feel bad or guilty for any of the negative feelings you are having and certainly never feel guilty about taking time off work.

And yes, having a right good wail from time to time seems to help :)

Hi all.

Collie Thinking of you today and sending very un-MN hugs.

Daisy Hang in there darling. I suffer badly from anxiety so started taking Fluoxetine in December. It is helping to keep me relatively zen right now. Things will get better, I'm sure.

Izzy I weighed less at 11 weeks last time round than before I got pregnant. For some reason the weight just fell off in the first trimester (probably due to sickness). Great news on CBD getting stronger!

Waves to MummyA Pink Orange Owl and anyone else I missed.

I am suffering from some dreadful cold virus. I have a fever and killer sore throat. DD slept for the first time in 3 nights last night so at least I got some sleep. I've got my GP to prescribe Progresterone rather than having to pay for a private prescription :) Just one question: I noticed a load a leaked out in the night...is this ok/normal?

Hello All - can I join? After 2 MCs, I got three faint BFPs in the past 24 hours (well definitely lines but faint by my standards of what faint should look like!). Crapping myself that because they are faint, they are chemical pregnancies, will simply disappear or turn out to be a figment of my imagination. Booked to see doc next Weds (too scared to go today in case I look like an idiot if I MC this weekend). Called in sick today but a pile of nerves and worry... Anyone else feel the same? Wish I could just chill out and take it in my stride...

Morning lovely, lovely ladies. I'm going to get all soppy for a moment - please bear with me. I've just read through all the messages from last night a today and it struck me what an amazing bunch you all are. I'm feeling totally overwhelmed by how what began essentially as a bunch of total strangers, can form such a wonderful, caring, supportive and generally fabulous little community. You're all amazing and I feel very lucky to have 'met' you xxx

Collie I'm thinking of you and your family today and hope it all goes as well as it possibly can.

Izz I think your text idea for your sis is a lovely sensative one and I'm sure she'll appreciate it once she feels ready to talk to you about it.

Also - don't worry about the weight thing. I've been eating two breakfasts, mid-morning snack, lunch, second lunch, late afternoon snack and dinner and I'm 5lbs lighter than when I found out I was pg! I mentioned it to the consultant I saw on Weds and her exact words were: "I'm not in the slightest bit concerned about that". Hope that resassures x

Daisy I'm so glad you came back on here and also that you got some hugs from your DH last night. FX you are feleing a bit better for it but if not, we are all here to help you and it sounds as though your midwife was quite perceptive when you saw her last time so hopefully she'll be supportive again. We'll have to hold each others' hand in the run up to 27 April!

Larami welcome and congratulations on your faint lines. Early pg panic is what this thread is all about and you will find that every single one of us has had/is currently having the worries you describe. Keep trying to remind yourself that the odds of it all working out are in your favour and maybe use the day off work to go for a gentle walk in the sunshine to relax. Sending you sticky bean vibes!

thanks everyone for the 12 week congrats! Still feeling completely paranoid and unsure as I haven't had a scan for two weeks and have convinced myself there's nothing there any more (have had really bad cramps this week but no bleeding so not sure what to do - scan is on Wed so will prob wait until then as the cramps have now stopped, but am in complete mental meltdown which is why I've been a bit quiet. Will be more noisy again if it goes ok on wednesday)

tigger your doctor's response to your question made me chuckle - sounds like everything is going well

will be back next Wed (although I'll be lurking over the weekend)

Point to consider re the dream genii..... you have to have somewhere to store it afterwards... they are effing monstrous!!!

I have the full length body pillow from mcare from my last pg, commonly known as the third person!), and its great. But even that is huge :)

Morning - lovely sunny day here, and thanks Pink for noticing that Dachs and I have hit the big 12+0 today (although I'm sure both of us are still mentalling at least until after next week's scans...!) and congrats Knitter for getting to 10!

Nix - sorry to post and run on Monday... I ended up upsetting myself thinking about it all again. I'm sorry you had the baby-disappearing-into-the-ambulance experience as well. I'm not sure discussing the case would really help me. As you say, they're fine now, and it will not be the same this time round.

MamaP - belated congrats on getting to 12 weeks and having a lovely scan - fingers crossed it's all going well for you today.

Pink, MamaP and Tigger - there's something a bit iffy on the list with your dates... you are all a day apart weekswise, but EDDs are 2 days apart??? And Pink ggggrrrr to that registrar...

Teacake - well done on your lovely scan news, but sorry you're still feeling fragile... Repeat after me... the odds are in my favour... And I agree with Owl - I'm having to hold my belly every time I cough or sneeze, or something really hurts in there.

MummyA - sorry you are still feeling rough - and I'm glad the scan turned out well - phew!

Izzy - good work on booking your scan... now try not to wibble too much or you might fall over!! And I hope your sister takes the news okay.

Cep - once you've had a reassuring scan at the 12 week mark, you'll need to happily add yourself to the proper grown-up grads list!

Daisy - hope you are feeling a bit more positive today. A lot of us have been very up and down... I'm worried that with an 8-year age gap that having another tiny one will be too much upheaval again.

Onions - you are making me laugh with your food lists! I'm too afraid to write mine down

Banana - poor you with your yucky virus - hope you are able to rest a bit today. Don't know about the progesterone, but am sure someone else has mentioned about it leaking out.

LaraMi - welcome and congratulations on your BFPs, which I am sure are NOT a figment of your imagination. We're not very good at being chilled out here, so you will be in good company. How far do you think you are?

Wombat - morning! You are lovely - have a nice soppy hug!

X-posts Dachs - yep, lots of mentalling in both camps, I see... I keep telling myself it must be in there as it hasn't come out... but am too on tenterhooks until next Weds. Chin up.. keep busy over the weekend.

Does anyone have any good excuses as to why I mght not be having a drink at nans post funeral gathering? other than antibiotics? Really don't want to tll people.

Service lovely, and such a beautiful day. So sad, but feel calm now x

Collie - say you're driving.

Emoo - I think you get little fractions adding up over the course of the pg to make a bigger difference. That or maybe it's based on different cycle lengths.

collie giving up alcohol for lent?

larami welcome, I think we've met before on another thread. Congrats on your BFP (or twp as Izzy calls it) my lines were really feint for about 5 days.

Izzy I have lost weight too (and its not from throwing up, because the meds are helping me keep everything down) It happened with DS too and I was told not to worry. xxx

sorry for such a small catch up, have a very busy day ahead and lots to do!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

collie on antibiotics.