Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

[Truffkin]

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

Took you a while to decide

You're not wrong there Rie, I just had the thought that people on other freds who don't 'know' me might think I was... erm... a bit woo. Which I'm not. Well not all the time anyway.

Does any ESH worth her salt fancy a bit of S&M lesboerotoviolence since I seem to have tied myself up in knots? :o

Where is Brownie?

Congratulations Lara! :) Great news.

kat Did you wee on it?

As for medee I'm beginning to suspect there is no baybee and she's simply going to pull a cushion from her top with a flourish and say "tadaaaaa - fooled you all!".

It's disgraceful Rie, just disgraceful, bribing their child with wine so she'll do heavy labour Oh, and jet lag or not, shag the boy.

congratulations Lara - heed the wise words from the laydees here. Have everything crossed for you.

Alps I have sent some inmates round to the droid's cell, just to intimidate like.

Boo :( to all your health worry. Hopefully it's just the leftover medicine hanging around from the tonsillitis fucking up your system. Get out of your dark boudoir madame and in that sunshine, s'good for you.

Day 18 of 18 complete. I cried when I got home last night, and was forced into the bath with a gin while my DP made me dinner. My last few days were rammed with extra fun filled hours of dealing with prisoners... 14 hour days? Oh what fun.

Now, must catch up.

ps the menkull is strong in me this month. POAS yesterday morning, 9DPO. Negative.

Pone - that's disgusting! I don't want a babee that badly!! You heard it here first ladies.

Nice new name Boo, and fanks for concern. I have been pretty strung out and tired, emotional, but now am at the other end and what sweet relief. The sun is shining and I've turned my phone off so work can't call.

Lara - that's great news. I seem to remember you pondering the possibility of an ironidiff? Having had two miscarriages too, am imagining I'd be anxious and nervous in your position too.

ps - Boo, hope the docs have something helpful to say...

Following on from brownb's "I don't want a baybee that badly" revelation - anyone still sitting on the fence might want to consider how they'd feel when faced with a babyvest so soiled that they find themselves attacking it with a giant pair of scissors!

My baybee had a rush to A&E on weds, he's fine now - but holy moly - that boy can poo!

that's my mum's latest theory, alpine

Ah glad to see you back Brownie hope you've got some days off now.

I also POASed this morning. Why the fuck I did that I don't know. Negative of course - 12dpo. I will prob get droid early tomorrow, that's what usually happens. Am going to get out in the sun as soon as I've done some internet banking. (Dull? Who? Me?). Glands are still swollen but lovely lady doc has said no more antibiotics. I breakfast on ibuprofen these days.

I did ask after bear upthread Pone, hope he's all recovered now, and your washing machine too :o

By the way - I've held on to my job by the skin of my teeth. Will be in the same position this time next year but I'm hoping to be diffed by then of course, or even on mat leave.

I can't keep up!

A very quiet thumbs up to lara

Glad to hear that Bear is on the mend ski am impressed by the baby vest destroying power of the poo!

Brownie hope you are having some time off? In fact feck off back to bed with you!

Right then madame I'm game but be gentle or not-- Good news about the job too, hope that takes one thing off your to worry about list. Glad to hear no more anti-bys as well, hope you start to feel better soon

Here's a Friday treat

Brilliant news about the job boo! I saw your concern thank you, he seems pretty much back to normal now. Poos are of normal consistency and smell. And he hasn't shit in his hair since Wednesday so I see this as a definite improvement. Yes, first-timers, it is possible to poo with such verocity and velocity that you can poo up your own neck. Assuming he stays well we'll be crossing the channel on Monday - woohoo!

Last call for ESH's to meet near Shrewsbury on Tuesday.

Oh I love myself a bit of "rents" I does. And sickboy obv. Has anyone read Porno?

Porno in general or particular?

Tsssssk! Irvine Welsh's follow-up of trainspotting. When they're all "grown-up". I found it abandoned at the office when I was working with the Israelis - I think the dialect proved too much!

Hi boo very pleased to hear about your job. Glad you will still have it this time next year, but really hope that you won't be there doing it!
Sorry about the POAS. I did likewise. Also negative. Not even a tiny hint of a shadow on the stick. Think I am 12dpo, but as I have said, not 100% sure about ov this month. Pre-droidal boobs are here though so not going to waste any more sticks.

Quiet hurrah for Lara - hoping everything works out for you lovely.

Madame good news about job, hope you are starting to feel better? My friend had diagnosis of poor liver function & spent 2 days convincing herself she had HepC only to find out it was because she had taken some Ibruprofen. Tsk. Anyway about that tussle you wanted....

Seriously alps up the neck?? I'm not sure I could cope with it.

BrownB hope you get to have a relaxing weekend & step away from the sticks

Am looking forward to next 3 weekends. Mostly involving huge amounts of alcohol and fun.

Evening all, am back.

lara whoo hoo!

Think we should have next fred set in hospital to put all the broken BESH back together- have a Dr Cox, airel and a Dr Green/Ross combo Madamoiselle.I've had a weird couple of days- ace company and accomodation

Now now Starry, Google is not your friend. Just go to the Geep - mid cycle bleeding is not uncommon. And if it is anything that needs fixing, then they'll fix it won't they? Come on, pet xxx

Though I am a fine one to talk - this evening I am convinced I have a tumour in my throat. It's fed up I am. But who goes to the doc with a sore throat?
Do you have a temperature?
No.
Are you tired and achey?
No.
Can you breathe ok?
Yes
Get out and stop wasting my time.
OK.

starry last time I had mid cycle bleeding I was diffed three weeks later. Only saying...... Although I did not grow a third nipple at that time.

moleonthefanjo I had some mid cycle bleeding about this time last year. Proper freaked me out (after massively getting my hopes up it was implantation bleeding of course) but as ny gp said to me if it was ectopic you would know about it pain wise. as rIe says it's pretty common and 99% of time 'just one of those things' Get to GP for womble checkage ASAP tho.

Unobtrusive congrates to Lara sending you Velcro vibes my dear.

Oh and I DO have a 3rd nip. Saladmanga!

Bollox-just heard that playgroup def closing- next wed. So today was last one and we missed it. So we're never going again. AIBU to be fuming and v sad? Thanks all for reassuring 'you're not going to die' words. I luffs the BESH. Bet you wouldn't close my playgroup, would you? Bastard cunting council tory cunting shitting bastards. And...Breathe.

You're not going to die Starrypuss. Welcome back . Sorry that the ailments got you on your hols. And am very sorry about the playgroup too. :(

I have been convinced I have a throat tumour too Rie. I am going to chuck several hot toddies down mine tomorrow night because I can drink like a fish because the fucking bastard bastard has just turned up, just now, like 5 minutes ago, 2 days blardy early. Fucking Fuck and fuck again.

Had a lovely time having a hair dying evening (red again, the last one faded very quickly, have tried a different brand) with my friend, got back went to the loo and realised my pants had gone red as well. I am pretending it's implantation till the morning.

starcunt I can honestly promise you that you are not the first BESH to have diagnosed ovarian cancer/death/rabies from random bleeding, TTC and a high elevation of menkulness and unfortunately, access to google. I myself was temporarily absolutely convinced I had ovarian cancer and that was clearly the reason I could not get diffed.

boo That's really shit. :( Is it still implantation? I think my droid-baybee is implanting quite deep as this is now CD3.

Aries Is this month going to be any good for you at all or has MrA totally blown it with his inconsiderate timing? If yes, I still stand by my hot-20-year-old-sufer-dude-for-one-night thing. As you say, say the baybee has a sort of Brazilian look about him then you can simply blame it on smugglers/slaves/Pembrokeshire and a slutty granny or something.