Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

[Truffkin]

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

Shagathon completed here thankfully. Got three times in the window so perhaps reasonable chance. Have had positive opk sticks for three days in a row though. Proper positive. Is this normal? I don't want to keep shagging. I want a nice relaxed evening and a quiet early night!

Yes, it was a banjo string rather than a stringed-instrument - although I suppose it could be argued it was an organ, which further complicates things because then of course we've got an issue with strings or percussion!

dor Anything?

kat I salute you! Well done. If you don't win a baybee then there's no justice in the world. Whaaaaat? We're supposed to shag them because we love them?

Thanks alps but I did the same last month if I remember correctly so clearly there is no justice. Well, because I love him, he can have tonight off! I try to keep all the science secret so pretending I am overcome with lust all of a sudden is getting to be a bit of a drag. Ttc was fun at first...

Nuffink.

No droid visible and I refuse to waste a test when I am sure I am due on!

kat unfortunately it does get a bit "oh fgs, just deliver will you? we've both got to get up in the morning but this egg won't fertilise itself".

Psst, I think Rie might be on holibobs...

Video recorder set for "The Happening", how could I resist after that amazing review from MolesHole.

Oooh think you're right, I remember her saying something about going on the piste. I hope she's getting her fill of stinky cheese.

I have had to curb myself not to reply with filth after "getting her fill of stinky cheese" comment. How mature of me.

Stinky cheese

No maturity here, no sirree.

kat a night off sounds like a v.sensible plan, then schedule an insurance shag tomorrow?

I had a blood test yesterday and my whole arm now looks like it has been gnawed on by a hungry tiger. I don't even have a plaster big enough to hide it with.

I think she was going away with the in-laws, so not sure how much "stinky cheese" she's getting.

Insurance shag! Great word. I'm now going to go on some insurance comparison websites to get the best shag possible!! Go compare!

hahaha I wouldn't go to "go compare" - you might find out you're not getting the most favourable deal and that insurers you've used in the past are offering a more comprehensive coverage for a lower premium!

Oh yes, course she is BB she did mention it upthread. I must update the BESH speadsheet more often.

She was premenstrual when she went. I remember it all now - there was talk of an ironidiff on the slopes.

Dor I admire your strong resolve. I have a bag of ebay cheapies donated by rocket in my cabinet so if it was me I would have used at least 3 by now. In fact, is it too late for me to test now? I'm on CD 14. :o

We should be shagging again later, but I'm going to see Primal Scream instead. I would grab Bobbie Gillespie post show but I doubt his white goods would contain anything useful.

I've got some annual leave hours to use up before the 31st and I feel off colour again so I've taken the morning off. Been to the docs to discuss my crap health. Saw my favourite doctor who is bloody lovely. She took my BP (all fine), weighed me (Oh Em Eff Gee - that is a problem), and booked me in for urine and blood tests for a full MOT. But she basically thinks I'm just really bloody tired. Nice to be able to talk to her without feeling like I'm wasting her time though. Having a GP that gives a toss is a tonic in itself. So I think I'm just tired and fat. I need to go to bed earlier and eat less crap then.

Droid has arrived. Buggering bollocking hell.

Stinking mood and want to cry but am at work. Cock.

Well fuck that doris, get out your biro and make damned sure you have a fucking line! It's OK to do a runner and have a cry/gin y'know. There's been many a time I've headed out the door clutching a pad of paper, a biro and a furrowed brow before fucking off to a coffee-shop/rake over the Boots make-up counter. As long as you make it look like you're on official business and carrying a pad of paper, nobody questions it. x

Hello BESHies, I'm back! (hands around gin-soaked chocolates in the shape of neolithic stones for all to enjoy)

Sorry to hear that the droid has arrived Dor and pliz to hand him here so I can do this to him?

Although I have no need for the pit per se, I would very much like a go on Mitchell if no one minds? What?

Boo I'm sending you this to help ditch the tiredness. Am slightly of the Primal Scream jaunt though, lovely flashbacks to recent drunken night singing Movin' On Up on singstar my youth

So our weekend away was about as lush as it can get. Our 'deluxe room' was bigger than our entire flat, the spa was amaze and the food was to die for. I pretty much ate whatever I wanted (thanks for thinking of me Pone) apart from nuts, which I want to avoid as I'm asthmatic and I know the risk of passing on nut allergies is increased. They also served Becks blue (which actually tastes like beer!) so I had a few of those, which meant I could have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner. The weather was lovely as well so we ahd a few strolls round the gardens and down to the river - bliss. Being so deeply relaxed meant that dealing with a flat tyre and engine coolant warning light on the way home brought us swiftly back to earth with a bump. Perfect timing too (who'd have known?) as we could get our heads round the news, chat about whether we want to tell anyone yet (we don't) and test eachother with random name ideas (Luke and Leia - erm, no) I know this is a bit previous, but it was nice to live in a bubble for the weekend. Thanks to everyone for being so brilliant about it, I know it's well rough to hear other peoples' BFP news but will deffo keep schtum about it now as I've bored even myself with that ramble.

Right, enough mememememe for one thread. I am pleased to learn of the shagathons being undertaken whilst I was absent, good work for the cause BESHies. Also, I hope JB's old fella is recovering now he is well away from you Alps could you be taking the TTC malarkey to a whole new level by introducing erotiviolence outside of le palais

Oh *Truffs - you bring such warmth and general loveliness with you here. I am (along with most) a bitter, twisted, miserable and pissed off cow.

You're so fab too that you're thinking of names now - I thought of mine about a bloody year ago and still no hint of a pregnancy. Mind you, bloody baby's room is already carpeted too....

Dor - screw the droid... go and have a huge piece of the yummiest chocolate cake (you need it cos of iron deficiency caused by droid ;-)) and have the strongest glass of booze you can get your mitts on (pain relief for droid). Next month will come sooner than you can imagine and it will be another opp to try, try, try.

Oops - need to preview... Above should read Truffs...

Hoorah for the luffly weekend :) Pliz to remember that BFPs for BESHes are actively encouraged as the aim is to eventually get everyone into the Deli whether they like it or not Where did you go? I want to go there.

Dor Tis time for some epic Gin and Treats I think. And this fairground mallet for battering the evil metal beeping fucker.

dor am sending you gin. Bloody evil beeping fucker. Am hitting your droid with the fairground mallet thing.

truffs so glad you had a lovely time!

I love being back in the palais!

We went to this delightful place and it was this review wot convinced me. Get yourself there sharpish, twas a weekend of beauty fo sho.

Don't worry Lara the naming hasn't really started yet and although I'm a bit of a mentalist, I don't intend to get too attached until I've seen this one on the telly! It was more along the lines of - TGB: I think Chylamidia has got a lovely ring to it, don't you? Truffkin: no. And you aren't very funny.

There was a 'droid shie' specifically included in this fairground for the purpose of droid torture. Get them in there and pelt them with coconuts!

Please to not stop posting in le palais darling Truffs (although I am always nosing round the deli anyway :o). A diffed BESH is always a happy event

Right, I'm off to the t'Scream.

Have fun Boo and sing along for me

I'm sure I'll still be here, too much fun not to!

Truffs Oooo it looks v.v.nice. HOWEVER, I just googlemapped (?verb) their postcode. It comes up on a village called Twatley. They're keeping that one quiet, aren't they? Brilliant.