Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

[Truffkin]

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

Hello Hags. BB and Alps were right on being in Teh Alps.
Boobs was right on me being droidal. Booo. Tomorrow won't be much fun I am sitting in a square next to a couple of Poles who have shown me their Wifi code. It's hardly even cold. Spring has sprung in the Alps and consequently the snow has fucked off. I'm in the rare situation of being by far the best skier in my group so will do a day Alone tomorrow.

Hope everyone's ok.

Does anyone mind if I punch Danielle Lloyd? We were pregnant at the same time last time and now she's "accidentally" fallen pregnant when I started TRYING! :(

That's nice to share their wi-fi - I hope the snow holds out a few more days for you.

You can punch Danielle Lloyd as much as you like. I find her face fucking irritating. Nuff said.

ski, fill your boots- I always thought she was far more culpable in the whole Big Brother Race Debacle anyway-the cackling pack of she wolves far more intimidating than a few misguided Essex girl rants. I have the same issues with Jessica Alba, though hers was most likely a planned instadiff, (and Nicole Kidman, though she cheated by getting someone else to bear the stretchmarks for her)

aries hope vin chaud reaches places others can't reach, and whoop whooping goes some way to relieve droidal despondancy. Am thinking it's not the year for ironidiffs so far- but have ye no fear, the Spring Project of Diffment (SPD) (or maybe something else) has not yet commenced, and will be successful for all.

truff glad you had lovely weekend, and dinnae you worry about being all diffulated around us- once in the palais, you become automatically immune to any kind of begrudgerary type situation, (it's one of the perks) (that, and boo 'll show you her boobs for £1) (and I'll do it for a pack of cheesy quavers and a double lolly)

dor bugger the bugger, just bugger it.

Hope boo is shining her light in an upward motion right now.

Truffers!! Your weekend sounds amaze. does not cover it. We had that place booked for v posh event for one of our clients and I really want to go. Pliz to not leave the palais (echos Sparklyfanny)

Dor damn that droid.

Rie Hope you find some snow. MS is in the Alps also. He's fallen off snowboard & grazed chin so if you see him tell him he's a prick for forgetting his phone pliz.

Ski I concur. The Lloyd has a face I would never tire of slapping.

Boo hope Bobby was fantastic.

I have shit day tomorrow. Person I work with is getting the boot. I know it's happening. they don't. Bugger.

Oh man oh man oh man oh man. That. was. fucking. fantastic. And my ears are broken.

The sechs has broken your ears?

Um boo sweetie you're not supposed to put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.

Are you suggesting Mr Boo's Wooohoooooooo is bigger than her elbow?

I thkn it was Bobby Gillespie's Wooooohooooo rather than MrBOO's

:o you lot

I didn't shag Bobby Gillespie - he looked good in his suit but stoners just don't do it for me anymore.

But that said, MrBoo's certainly has nothing to worry about and no, it wouldn't fit in my ear.

My husband made advances to me this morning. AIBU to fall over in shock because he had not been instructed to three days previously, and it had no other purpose than pure gratification. What's that about ?

No idea, Molerama , does not compute.

Boo you filthy woman

Who the fecking feck is Danielle Lloyd?

RieRieRie pliz to make free with the vin chaud and chocolat avec cognac. Ooooo and rare steak frites. And creme brulee.

I don't know either boots!

That is very odd fancyfanjo, has he done such a thing before?

cuntmole I think it's time you heave your bosem and tell him that his job's done until next time. If this goes down like a lead balloon, weep and act like a deranged stereotypical mumsnetter loon. Enjoy it - it's wonderful to be able to have sex again without it being "loaded". You will also hopefully feel pretty "normal" right now. I never experienced the second semester horn, but did continue to have sex for my entire pregnancy. I'm not sure it's healthy for relationships to stop - but many do. :(

booty She's a footballer's wife and modull.

here is a picture of the moggle, Danielle Lloyd

Glad you had a good time Boo sounds ace

MoleFeatures props on the shagging for fun. As fate would have it, I think we've done more of teh sechs since getting the BFP than we did most cycles pre-ov.

Rie your holibobs sound brilliant. Check you out with the advance ski technique, hope you are making the most of the vin chaud and hot buttered rum (lip licking emoticon)

truff careful you don't embarrass your baybee

ski I think you have mistaken me for someone more fertile? Easily done, apart from the large red BARREN sign I wear over my head with an arrow pointing down..

I have today moved upto Level 2 of my exercise vid- but it's Too Hard. So therefore I have exercised less than when I was doing Level 1. It's one of life's eternal dilemnas innit, which level to stick to.... I think I used to be a 'shoot for Level three and damn the consequences' type of gal, whereas now I'm getting to the 'Level 1 is cosy and I can do it without too much bother, so I'll just stick here'. It's a bit depressing.

You can butter rum?

Truffs the internet tells me that that link is adult/sexshooally explicit. Rude! Tut!

MoleyMole I have bought two exercise DVDs. They are both still in their nice shiny cellophane wrappers.

Bloody hell Booty it's only her looking gormless and it's a head shot (you can just about see her white vest - cheeky!) Maybe it's the site, I didn;t check (just used Google images as I'm lazy)

I have had the exercise DVD that Janine from Eastenders did ages ago and I used to really like it. I did it for a while before our wedding to tone up and got good results. It has been sitting in the DVD cupboard since then I think

I think I will take up aqua natal and pg yoga now, nice and gentle!

Truff - my work computer wouldn't let me access it either - said that "site contains material of an adult or explicit nature". Now fear the porn police will be after me followed by the MD with my P45. Cheers Truff!! ;-)

You may or may not remember my question the other week where I asked if I should sell my car. Well, decided to keep it (on basis Mr Lara can't get a company automatic) but am now thinking, should I screw saving, being responsible etc and trade it in for a fab red mini with a union jack on the top. Am in love with one have seen on line... Happened to my mate - the second she decided to screw being responsible and buy herself a floozie car, she fell pg...!

Oh yes Lara - fab idea -if you get an ironififf - result, if you don't - fabby new car - it's win/win innit?

Decided we should have 'Bollocks to not being diffed party'.

BTW I am menkulling like a mofo already. Today I felt a small popping sensation in my wombular region and decided it was a baybee. FFS. I am on CD 16. Someone, please, just knock me out. I deserve it.

Great party boo. I might even start on the food in a minute.

I am trying to Save My Sure Start tonight, in preparation for a meeting tomorrow with council. We really don't stand a shot's chance in a BESH house, and reading conservative manifestos is making me very and Please to pass more gin?

my mouth is watering at that tasty feast! mmmmm
Also loving Brian Cox! Does not look old enough to be a professor. V tasty though.