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Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

1001 replies

Truffkin · 16/02/2011 18:54

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

OP posts:
AuntieDoris · 13/03/2011 21:14

I am expecting the arrival of the droid any day. Wondering if my cycle is going t be sorted than usual cos FF seems to think I ovulated on day 11. Feeling a bit crampy and I am a grumpy fucking bint today. Usually good signs that I am about to be got.

I am generally pissed off, but other than that I am OK.

InTheSunshine · 13/03/2011 21:37

SFF Boo?!Great work on a Sunday Grin

Lara I hear you. Got to keep smiling and listening to the wise words of our Boo (she is great at saying good stuff when the chips are down)

Bitey how was your lunch - what did you find to cook?

Ivegotmrbitey · 13/03/2011 22:48

Hello, I did a slow roast rolled shoulder of lamb followed by home made brownies with ice cream and raspberries- was lush! Had really nice sparkling NZ Sauvignon blanc, the only booze I have been able to swallow since diffment. I did have to lie down after half a glass though!

Sorry to hear some sad hags on here although very impressed with five day shagathon!

AlpinePony · 14/03/2011 06:46

bitey With cooking like that you can come and visit any time. I understand about the booze - I promised I wouldn't pay any attention to the scare-mongering associated with being a differ - but I just couldn't stomach it - until about 7 months.

boo and other 2nd timers - I'm sorry if this is an invasive question - but did you have any problems conceiving your first?

boo I am a bit worried that your bedroom antics involved SFF - because I believe that's actually curly's husband... still, the more the merrier I say!

dor ?

rie How are you feeling? It's tradition isn't it that getting shit-faced with the ESHes and making a twat of yourself ensures diffment?

AuntieDoris · 14/03/2011 07:38

Gag. I am grumpy and tearful. Bad combination.

Looks like all the carefully timed sechs has been for bugger all. Just awaiting his Royal Droidness's arrival.

milanomum · 14/03/2011 08:57

I can't believe I missed the food fest .

I didn't drink a drop with first pregnancy but have had a quite a few sips here and there of wine this time round.

Alps I conceived the first one immediately (cue TIS's shock "but you said it would take at least a year" line) but this one took 9 months and timed sechs and pre-seed. That's not even a very long time in the annals of BESH, is it?

AD I thought I had PMT when I got diffed

I am Shock at the 5 and 3 day shag-fests. I think I have almost forgotten how to do it.

Ivegotmrbitey · 14/03/2011 10:18

I ate the left over lamb for breakfast, is that bad?

Brownowl I had never heard of ottolenghi (country bumpkin) but thanks to the power of greyskull google am now drowning in my own dribble! Food looks amazing!

Booze thing is weird ski, I was admanant that if I wanted to drink I would, as am sensible grown up who understands about moderation etc. But then when I tried to have a drink it tasted dreadful and burned like fire! I am delighted to have come across something I can drink!

AlpinePony · 14/03/2011 10:29

Door I had terrible cramps the night before my BFP and I was crying at everything. It was a stressful time in my life though.

Soooo... my SWI this month is over, jb and Bear are UK-bound and I've broken jb's willy. Yes, 'tis true. Whilst getting jiggly with it yesterday there was a banjo incident and he won't even let me take a proper look at it to assess damage. AIBU to phone his mum and tell her he's hurt Mr. Winky?

HighPriestessBoo · 14/03/2011 10:35

Oh Dor what cd are you on again? Are you late yet?

I am thinking Rie has had such fun with all the old BESH she doesn't want to hang around with us anymore

Where is Starryfanjita?

Alps We started to ttc in November 06, I got a BFP in Jan 07 and miscarried at 8 weeks. I then got another BFP in the May. I spent the whole of my pregnancy worrying about losing tsmallboo as I'd also had two miscarriages at 12 weeks and 6 weeks ish previous to meeting MrBoo, so the third one had meconvinced I couldn't carry baybees at all.

HighPriestessBoo · 14/03/2011 10:36

:o x-post Pony There is guffawing going on chez Boo.

AuntieDoris · 14/03/2011 10:48

I am on CD 26 of what us usually a 28 day cycle. My LP is usually 14-15 days tho so if FF is correct I am probably due on today. So no, I am not late yet.

HighPriestessBoo · 14/03/2011 11:03

Will remain hopeful for you Dor but I have made a space on the coconut shy for your unwelcome droid, should the pesky metal barsteward grace you with his presence.

LaraMi · 14/03/2011 11:20

Dor - if it makes you feel any better, I was waiting outside Waitrose yesterday for 45 minutes (long, fucking annoying story). Anyways - in that time, about 10 (no joke) sets of tired mothers trying to maneouvre shopping bags, trolleys, screaming toddlers and miserable husbands walked by. Of course, I'd do anything to be a mum right now but at least we can still do fun stuff on a Sunday and not have all that to contend with!

A broken willy - hahahahahahha!

I have no idea where droid, ovulation or anything else is.. Had three days of random painful spots on forehead (normally a sign of something imminent) but since then, nada.

Boo - if I don't conceive soon I will have to go to other drastic means to bring excitement into my life. Not sure Daniel Craig is the answer - perhaps I can ask for the boxer David Haye instead ??

owlbooty · 14/03/2011 12:21

Pone you are too hardcore, clearly. The poor chap. I have no idea what a banjo incident is but it sounds painful Shock

I luff the Ottolenghi recipes but never have enough of the ingredients and am far too slapdash at cooking to realistically hope they'd turn out looking like the pics in the luffly books. Bah. The vegetarian book is gorgeous though, I just dribble over the photos.

BrownB · 14/03/2011 13:16

Oh dear Alps - poor old MrA. As for telling his mother... Shock Grin Oh - thought of you this morning at about 3am. Green fag making material had been seized and stank out the ENTIRE station... uck. We were all a little high by the time it came to home time. I now have the munchies...

Ottolenghi rocks. And the recipes tend to work just as they say they should - always a surprise!

AlpinePony · 14/03/2011 15:05

brownb I fear there's been a terrible misunderstanding! Green fags are menthols not the crisp-craving variety.

Ivegotmrbitey · 14/03/2011 15:20

alps my mind has boggled for hours now. Just what were you doing with a banjo?

owlbooty · 14/03/2011 16:40

I prefer Brownie 's version of the green fags Grin

Ah, happy days of my youth.

starcuntmole · 14/03/2011 20:25

I'm here! Just stunned into silence by last night's Being Human. Am severely traumatised. it's bedtime, will be back in a bit.

InTheSunshine · 14/03/2011 21:01

Grinat wondering how Alps broke Mr Alps willy

Bitey your dinner sounds fab.

Any news Dor?

Lara David Haye?? really??

BrownB pliz to answer a question - where does it go when stuff of any kind gets seized??

starcuntmole · 14/03/2011 21:12

Am back- that was considerably better than last night's 2 hour bed time extravaganza.

ooh there's a trailer for 'The Happening' on for Saturday- can I urge anyone who hasn't seen it to cancel all plans/sky + - it's unbelievable!! (Unbelievable how anyone managed to make a film that surpasses all other films in being utterly utterly shite that is)

Doratheexplorer and larawalliams (is she called Lara? maybe she's Lana) sorry that you be feeling in the glumps. Traditionally in the palais, whenever the need has arisen, we have dug a large pit, filled it with suitably/appropriate booze/men and wallowed there til we feel better. Shall I make a start?

Where's our newest differ truff has she rejected normal life and us plebs for one of luxury and thick cotton towels- or was it a three day weekend?

AuntieDoris · 14/03/2011 21:54

No news yet - either good or bad. You will all be the first to know... so I suggest you get the walling pit ready just in case.

HighPriestessBoo · 14/03/2011 22:00

Bitey I think she broke his... erm... string. :o

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