Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

[Truffkin]

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

• of not if

Hello BESHes. Am back in not so sunny Far West after my metropolitan sojourn which was very very very lovely. Saw lots of relatives, which was far more fun than it sounds as well as some new and lovely pals. Nephew didn't explode or anything when I looked after him, despite him teething and being the spawn of Satan at the moment. Something amusing happened in my absence - MrA opened an Amazon packet he thought was a work thing for him - despite my name being on it - and found the Preseed plus "injectors". So any idea I had of it being a secret and I just find him an immense turn on have been scuppered.

I will either discover I am diffed or get a droid next week skiing. With his family. Perfect timing, perfect.

Will now read back.

Love that clip Bitey thanks for sharing. Am not realyl a Craig fan, I much prefer me some David

I'm off to makes pancakes now (the time has finally arrived Bitey!) and eat my body weight in chocolate, ice cream and general sweet loveliness. I shall be giving it all up from tomorrow (until Easter Sunday that is, then I hope to plough my way through one of these bad boys if I'm lucky enough to be visited by the easter bunny!

Still symptomless here BTW. The most vigorous boob proddage has resulted in nothing even slightly like an ache

Well done on teh secs Pone and I hope his pennance lasts long enough to make it to egg laying time

I do sometimes think that my job is entirely insignificant! Still, where would we be without OD hey?

X post

Welcome back lovely Rie. My congrats on the successful weekend and at MrA's discovery. I hope he appreciates your efforts!

I am intrigued by your £20 shit preggo thing Sunny please to provide a link. Was it woo? I'm a twat too, if that helps.

Sunny - I just bought Acai supplements that I clearly don't need. You're not alone...

I am watching this prog about the ballet on BBC4 - my feet are hurting just watching. ouch ouch ouch.

Here is link to bag of useless shizzle

I am on google searching for pre seed now. Will I ever learn?

Milano and Rie - sorry, hello. Lovely to see you both.

Truff love that picture of our Dave.He looks a right treat. Pliz to share him?

Well, I managed only 2 pancakes but they were absolutely smothered in melted chocolate buttons and chocolate ice cream.

Thanks for boob gropage Marlene, but there is seriously no chance of getting any kind of rise out of them. They are lying as dormant as if they were sharing an enclosed space with Donald Trump

Oh my Sunshine how could you bring yourself to purchase something endorsed by a preggo called Chelsee? Pliz to share the good tips with your BESH mates?

TGB is watching the Apprentice USA, I am not a fan. (and Donald Trump is seriously a croissant head, no matter how many times I say it, it's still the truth)

P.S I am not ignoring the 'pliz to share Dave' question but is it taking me quite some time to come to a conclusion. Could I interest you in an alternative?

I think the droid has messed me up this month and has taken my sanity & dignity.Oh and my intelligence. But I didn't have much of that to start with.

Donald Trump. What a knobber.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=25.media.tumblr.com/VMFMD9qmmoo05bl04pRw80Zlo1_500.jpg&imgrefurl=hottaureans.tumblr.com/post/122917584/dave-gahan-vocals-depeche-mode-asc-taurus&usg=__eADnJ_HFbfg1ZbkfMtH2FhrJzWY=&h=500&w=409&sz=63&hl=en&start=0&sig2=Nq-QWok6QydUFLnf9Hm7cA&zoom=1&tbnid=b5qqBi0O7t0HTM:&tbnh=174&tbnw=142&ei=Xad2TbCxGoiAhQfk9J2PBg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddave%2Bgahan%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D685%26tbs%3Disch:1%26prmd%3Divnslo&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=292&vpy=291&dur=134&hovh=248&hovw=203&tx=71&ty=94&oei=Xad2TbCxGoiAhQfk9J2PBg&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This is the only Dave I'm interested in.

He doesn't do it for me Truff

Yes we knooooow Boo

Sunny how could you NOT?

That personal path to pregnancy thingy looks like it has a huge viral marketing campaign behind it - if you google it there are squiilions of suspect looking websites banging on about how great it is. Is it an e-book Sunny? I want to know what it says now. Mebbe is will have the secret to getting diffed, ya never know.

Let's get back to the Craig, so I can regail you again with my stories of meeting him....

I went for a run with my friend tonight, and managed to speak, which was exciting new development (not that I usually try when on my own, apart from grunting at dogwalkers), and worth three exercise pounds morally as I wasn't supposed to be doing any today as it's go to work day.

Does Chelcee tell you to do it in the foo foo? Or just pray to baby Jeebus?

Boo PM me your email address and I will send it. It's an e book that you download as PDF. Anyone else feel free to do the same. Might as well share the bag of shizzle around!!

Truff I've kept quiet about my lack of interest in Mitchell so far for fear of getting kicked out the funfair....

Oooh am intrigued now... PMing as we speak...

Will send it tomorrow luffly Boo as am on iPhone at mo in bed.

Vajazzle I've tried praying to the Baby J. He wasn't listening. Pancakes are free calories, fine to eat loads.

I'm absolutely sending you my email address Sunny as I am desperate to see what the top tips are. I'm sure we'll all stop sniggering if we're diffed next month!

Inspired by you Truffs I went and used the remaining pancake mix to make one more, which I smothered in Chocolate spread. At 11pm a night! I don't deserve to be svelte, I am my own worst enemy but by Gawd it was good :o

Yum Yum Yum. Nice work Boo

And on that note, I bid you goodnight!

You lot, pliz to not make me OfficeSnort as it then makes it clear to other office people that I am not writing my presentation about drugs.

I still maintain the preseed stuff works. Or at least prevents intimate chafing from all Teh Obligatory Sechs when one is seriously not in the mood. In fact, it probably means you could just doze throughout and let him get on with it. Wrong? Nooooo.