Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

[Truffkin]

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

Morning slags! I ate five pancakes last night They were delish but gave me spectacularly naughty dreams

Today I am trying to be healthier and am eating wasabi peas instead of crips nom nom nom

I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling any of your wimpy, fey British boys. How abouts a slice of this? cdn30.ne.be/librairy/people/969/4012.jpg or maybe this 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwb3pcg6KS1qawt1wo1_400.jpg or even this 1.bp.blogspot.com/_0YZ3arITueg/TQgWDwAbL5I/AAAAAAAAADQ/MirZ_4m5qFc/s1600/josh-hartnett-tattoo.jpg ?

bitey They'll give you a ring of fi-yah!

Sechs every day? I'm D from the W down me.

alps burny bottoms aside, I think I haz annoyed my baby cos am fairly sure I just felt a wiggle that wasn't follwed by a fart! It's the first one So is it mean to continue scoffing them in the hope of another wiggle?

Right then who is menkulling? truffs, your name springs to mind, had better go and check the spreadsheet read the rest of the fred!

Ps No, No and No to all of the above, but do have a soft sport for him

Soft spot even! Although could think of a few soft sports too

I don't know who any of those men are but they don't do anythng for me, least of all the one with a fag hanging out of his mouth.

Fnar fnar! Does this mean you've got the second trimester horn? Congratulations on your baby wiggle!

Oh I like them B.A.D. medee - can't be doing with those vanilla boys.

Ye gods! They look like a line up of Young Offenders.

Can I be massively sad and admit that I only actually find Mr Boots attractive? You are all permitted to punch me lots for this.

Bites hoorah for the wiggle! Keep going with the wasabi peas. Mmm, wasabi peas.

If Mr Boots is that bloody hot we need to see pictures. Nekkid ones.

Gah! No, he really isn't that hot. Plus he's about 20 yrs older than your usual prey, Pone

boots! does MrBoots look anything like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.it/imgres?imgurl=www.cinetv.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/gil-grissom.jpg&imgrefurl=www.cinetv.info/anticipazioni/il-film-di-csi/&usg=__pNEJGMIqrNZrKpMjMirsgYvhMVg=&h=322&w=500&sz=29&hl=it&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=qJmcRRD046TGjM:&tbnh=157&tbnw=194&ei=R413TdGeDMybOsTH3MsF&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgrissom%2Bdi%2Bcsi%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dit%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D608%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=328&vpy=249&dur=380&hovh=180&hovw=280&tx=171&ty=101&oei=R413TdGeDMybOsTH3MsF&page=1&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this? If so, I approve.

Bitey hurrah for the nudging! I have oft found myself sitting in a squashy, uncomfortable position just to get a kick or two. Does that count as child abuse?

stiletto heel toe grinds for you all!

CSI man has been severely airbrushed in that photo. Hoorah for photoshop!

I do approve of that older gentleman - apart from his beetle obsession thing. I prefer this flavour of CSI man myself though: www.topnews.in/files/images/Adam%20Rodriguez.jpg .

Yup alps, my name is Ivegotmybitey and I am a sex pest

boots you are very soppy but it's loverly! But seriously, not even him?

milano not if eating wasabi peas doesn't count?

Truffs & Boo I haff sent the shizzle to you both. Here's to getting diffed

Alps I am liking guy with tattoo - pliz to tell me who he is?

Thanks for shiz SunnyD I have had a brief look and disappointingly it looks to be quite informative acksh.

I'm a bit meh about those men really (yes, even the Cloons) as it's all about David. Predictable and quite boring (have loved him for many years) but still my only pin up until I found Mitchell

Bitey I would be menkulling if I had anything to mekul over at all. Not a sniff of a symptom, in spite of Milano contributing boob prodding and me overthinking everything to try to turn it into a symptom. You know the type of thing, was that a slight tummy pain? It could be implantation! ooh that milk tastes a bit funny, could I have differ's tastebuds? Erm, no, I've just brushed my teeth. Hang on, I feel a bit light headed, maybe I'm diffed! Oh hang on, no, it will be the fact I've just walked quickly up a steep hill because the bus wasn't due for 15 minutes. And repeat ad nauseum...

Am still very much focussed on our lovely weekend and have packed it full of enjoyable events. We've got the mud chamber for 2 booked, dinner in the 2 michelin starred restaurant on Saturday night and a river walk to Malmesbury on Sunday. Plus lots of lazing in the lovely spa, sampling some signature cocktails and enjoying the beautiful luxury bedroom and massive bath (the main point of a dirty weekend non?)

Right, enough waffling from me I'm off to finish my cup of tea and read the rest of Your Personal Path to Pregnancy watch Masterchef now all of the football has finished.

sunny That was just Josh Hartnett looking "bad". Some friends ran in to him in a bar in London a couple of years ago, talked at him for a few hours and sat at his table (without invite etc.) - apparently he took it all in good faith and was very good company.

truff Your weekend sounds lovely!

Did anyone see the BBC2 documentary last night? Pls to explain heightened fertility in some people?

Truffleone your weekend sounds fabulous. I have no idea what a mud chamber is but it sounds perfect for a dirty weekend

David who btw?

Bites no no no. And no again.

How's the wasabi pea fallout?

What the blazes is going on here? Why have there been no posts since 09:58:07? Come on BESHes.

Mmmmm Josh Harnett. Hot.

Well hags weird things are going on at my work. I'm not sure how I feel about it all. Basically I'm going to get another role but at the expense of someone else. Who isn't doing very well. And has been given plenty of opportunities. But I feel all wrong.

I am now friends with ourboo on facecrack. I'm quite smug about having a RL virtual friend

MS is going boarding on Sat for 5 days. Don't know whether to be excited about watching whatever I like or a bit because he won't be here!

Dum de do... off to work. You're right Rie, I had all day to think of something to say...

Erm. I caved. I think I can see a faint line on a Boots own stick.

WHAT?? Have you got a first response in Truff??