Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

[Truffkin]

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

Droid is due today box. I haven't been 2woofling 'cos I was too poorly for teh sechs, I just want it to hurry the fuck up so I can book a babysitter and actually enjoy ttc for a change this month :o

Your SIL sounds like a real joy

soz boo I did know that, momentary lapse, sorry to be such a klutz, please accept my humblest nipple tweaks and this special fairground cocktail I mixed up on the waltzers . (take the fish out if you prefer)

No worries

Where you at then?

Good Lord CuntyBollocks your SiL sounds like a joy!

Mine actually isn't that bad and in her defence we've told no one that we're TTC. We were friends before we were related as I met TGB through her, so I can't complain really! I think because we were friends initially her change to SAHM of almost 3 and lack of anything else but baybee stuff, has been sad for me.

Am off to bed. Hope the borrowed FFJ has done the trick Rie Actually borrowed can't be right, how about 'donated'?

sure it was a laying on the wrong side month, but 9dpo- over last few months have been developing stronger pmt though- never used to get sore boobz, only when diffed, but now its from a week before- I think I caught it off the BESH
Am not feeling in the best of shape in the ovaryarea at the mo- but stuck in 'going to GP will just have them saying you're a biffer, go and get thin' head in sand mode. If it happens again (pain for at least a week) next month, will yous bully me to go? Ta. Have to work for money tomorrow, and not in a good way, so shall turn in. Night, evil ones.

starcunt There are plenty of FESHes who will never skip down a Parisian runway during fashion week who are now clutching baybees. And one pair of trousers which still fits. As cunty says, how do your ovaries know how fat your arse is? How do the white goods know how flabby your dinner lady arms are?

You have all made me laugh very much - when I should be geting dressed and getting the car to the garage.

Aries I feel your financial commitments are where you're going wrong with winning a baybee. You're simply not paying out enough of your income in unforseen bills and rumour has it you live in a 2-bed house. Downsize yer house and upsize yer bills - guaranteed win!

I thought my body would know what to do second time around. I feel very that I still can't get pregnant and yes, I do feel slightly less of a woman.

Ha ha ha ha

Alps pshaw to feeling less of a woman. You have a Bear to prove you are one, don't you? We are getting older, tick tock - it may be a little of that perhaps. It only takes the one etc. I would offer you ((((((())))))))))) but you would kick me.

I have solved the mystery of being dry as the Sahara despite the grapefruit juice, cough medicine, pints of water per day, evening primrose oil, and Omega three. I have been taking antihistamines. What a waste of cough medicine. All those rumours of it drying out FFJ are completely and utterly true.

Sunny is indeed the accommodation oracle.

Truffle you are a mere baybee yourself. I will be 35 shortly. When I had a wibble about my age & risk of problems etc the doc said 'but you are young! Do not worry'. I am therefore officially pronouncing everyone under 40 young. Btw can you punch the BIL? Moley can we punch your SIL too?

I have to say my SILs have been fab. But then one had a late mc and thus totally gets it.

Question. How the feck does the iPhone know when you ovulate? Does it have FFJ assessing abilities? Is there an attachable testing stick?

Today my eyes look like pissholes in the snow.

Kat we do need a vom emoticon, maybe we can request one?

Ok FFJ? Someone remind me what it means?

I am shagging knackered. Work is really busy and my colleagues are pissing me off. Want to go home!

Do you know Rie I almost asked if you had taken any antihistamines the other day when the FFJ debate originally came up, but thought I might be teaching you to suck eggs - oops! I have millions of a few allergies and used to take them habitually but have cut down now and just deal with the consequences most of the time! Glad you've solved it though and it is no longer a mystery.

Ski stop berating yourself and let me slap you with this kipper instead. You have the lovely Bear to show for your immense womanlyness and even if you didn't, surely we of all people should be standing for the fact that infertility doesn't make you less of a woman? HTFU

Mole tell us what you want from your holiday accommodation and I will gladly help with an online search, although having only ever visited Edinburgh in terms of Scottish destinations, I cannot offer a personal recommendation. A quick nose so far, has come up with this lovely little place and I did get a bit carried away looking at the lovely cottages and seeing what we could get for the money we'd spend on a summer holiday.

Dor, I have never been sure what it stands for exactly, but would hazard a guess at...ready for this?...Fertile Fanjo Juice.

That's what I guessed at.

Thanks to you lot my husbands new favourite word is FANJO!!!!

I have just watched 'One Born Every Minute' from Monday on 4OD and am now a snivelling mess! Good Lord, that's one emotional programme.

I think Rie is correct. How lovely.

Oh I am watching it at the money Truffkin. Just seen the twins being born!

Almost obbing at the memory. That destroyed me on Monday that did. Was very interested to see C-sections being done too - as mine was done when I was under anaesthetic and due to very serious things happening, was the fastest one the anaestheologist had ever seen done fact fans (I'm chanelling Smash Hits again :o).

They must have done that cutting bit very quickly .

*sobbing

Today was another fabulous day for the criminal justice system. Totally fucking fabulous. Scumbags who know the system versus the honest folk of this land. Who do you think will win...? Today I fucking hate my job.

Hate hate hate it.

And stupidly phoned my brother (not the one who was in the earthquake), who told me off for feeling bad/angry/upset. Always a winner, that being told off for feeling like shit.

I'm now going to plant a row of lovely to make me feel a bit better.

And if any of you dare to suggest that emotions are a symptom... ps - temperature dipped again slightly today. Not looking anything like my latest pregnancy temps, so I'm off the hook..... please?

Oh Brownie I for one sm going to spare you the violence on this occasion and just offer hair strokes instead. You're really going through the mill at the moment aren't you. I put a bit too much in the stew I made for dinner and there is some left, come get pissed on a winter staple!

I know Boo what a tear jerker! Mind you, I cry at every baby that arrives so I haven't watched any of thrm with TGB. I think he would a) vom a bit due to birthing close ups, b) get scared at the howling / mooing / general hollering going on and c) laugh his head off at me being a cry baby.

I now feel like crying sll over again at the performance our team are putting in. Boo wtf is Houllier playing at?? Hey???

Nobody is off the hook till the fat lady sings droid beeps Brownie. I'm in the mood for a tussle if you fancy, but you have to catch me first.

My visit from the metal fella began today, so we're on for the sechs marathon next week, and by a stroke of luck I am working different days and my Mum is having small boo for two nights.

Soz about the job distress. Here have this rifle and shoot these droids I have lined up for you on the shooting range.

Thanks for the sympathy Truffs and thanks for the rifle Boo... That's what I stupidly phoned my brother for (sympathy not rifle). There is some pretty hard stuff going on in my life at the mo and I feel my emotional resilience is hovering at about zero.

Sorry about the droid action. Let's pay a small visit to the hammer bell thingie...? Am sure he'd sound like a bell if hit just so...

Oh Brown :( - you need BESHwimminz to moan to. Have you no good colleagues to offload with? Jobs like these need debriefing time and it's so often not allowed for.

Truffs I know. One of my friends on FB said 'GUTLESS'. Pfft.

Poor Brownie sounds like life is testing you at the mo. I'm sorry for the dip comment, didn't mean to send you off menkulling. How about you post a link to your chart so I can stalk menkul for you quietly in this corner Promise not to actually talk about it on here if you don't want to.

I can't watch OBEM at the mo,

Take care of yourself, BrownGirl. Sometimes we can just snap when we have used up all our reserves :(

Evening lovelies hags, thought you might like some gin

That is all.