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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Waiting to try for a baby

999 replies

AmandaCooper · 25/01/2011 15:16

A continuation of so many threads spent waiting to ttc that I've completely forgotten what number thread we're on.

If you're waiting to ttc, stop by and say hello! Smile

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Original poster
AmandaCooper · 14/09/2011 07:59

Buddhagirl welcome to the thread sorry I was so melodramatic, I'm constantly worrying about offending those on the forum with long term fertility issues, I'm probably just being daft.

Assuming this marriage thing is the real reason your dp wants to wait (and not fear of fatherhood), is there not a diamond ring somewhere in the family you could use - a great grandma's engagement ring in a safe or a drawer somewhere? You could get the stone reset. Mine was a hand-me-down, so was Kate Middleton's. It's very daunting to have to find a big lump sum.

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littlewater · 14/09/2011 20:21

Just some advice please,
my DP and I have been arguing lately about nothing and everything. A guy at work bought me a free meal and now I'm slightly smitten with him. Please tell me I should stop acting like a girl and focus on my relationship.

I don't think it helps that I'm broody, and my DP doesn't kids yet.
Lw

notthehippopotamus · 14/09/2011 20:35

Aw littlewater, sorry about the arguments, and sorry that your DP is not paying you the same nice attention as the guy at work. OTOH, at the risk of sounding unsympathetic, there's quite a big difference between buying someone a meal and wanting to have children with them (he could turn out to have FOF too!) so maybe it's worth thinking through the positive aspects of the relationship you have built up with DP rather than throwing them all away and having to build everything up from scratch with someone new. :)

Lots of us on here how difficult it is feeling broody when your DP doesn't want kids yet, whatever the reason may be, so lots of sympathy and hope you can work through it and it gets better. I know a few people have been recommending relationship counselling on here - worth thinking about?!

Fingers crossed things get better and the waiting isn't for much longer! Wine

littlewater · 14/09/2011 20:58

Notthe,
Yes there is a huge difference, it's just nice to think that I'm still attractive and to have some nice male attention.
Its along road back to where we were.

Lw

Clandy · 14/09/2011 21:43

Hello ladies not sure if I am allowed to join you. I came off the pill in July and started ttc, however OH had to work away during ov week, then a new job opportunity came up for me and now I have to wait the rest of this cycle and next before ttc again! I know it's not long but it's killing me Sad I so badly want a baby! It's baby no 2 for me, dd is 19 months but would just adore a little brother or sister.

Feel silly tho as some of you are having to wait a lot longer so think I am probably just spitting my dummy out so to speak! Blush

Original poster
AmandaCooper · 14/09/2011 21:54

Welcome Clandy! No minimum waiting time on here, you're very welcome. It's heartening to see people move on. I think it must be worse when you're chomping at the bit to go for number two.

Littlewater don't go there. That way certain madness lies.

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littlewater · 14/09/2011 22:01

Amanda,
Thanks. I know every relationship is hard work, i was feeling really blue.
As for madness I work in a hospital.......

Lw

Original poster
AmandaCooper · 14/09/2011 22:12

Honestly hon if you are feeling depressed at all then you need to treat the depression, whether that's with counselling or medication or a better diet or exercise or a holiday or a change of routine or a new job, whatever it takes. Don't let it break up your relationship.

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Buddhagirl · 14/09/2011 22:19

Amanda- No probs! It is so easy to offend people on the internet, without body language to help with things.

What a good idea about an old ring! Spoke to DP and he said there isnt one, but sensing I was getting a bit antsy we went window shopping for rings. Omg you can get lovely ones so cheap! Saw a victorian antique one, nice size diamond, my size, £400 quid. Also found another 5 i liked for £200-300. Cant say fairer than that!

Plus I am being a bit over moaning because I know being married is important to DP and we are only having a small wedding (30 guests in a function room of a pub) so its not like i need ages and many monies to plan it. Happy again :D

Original poster
AmandaCooper · 14/09/2011 23:28

That sounds lovely, intimate weddings are so nice. You'll be TTC before you know it!

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Buddhagirl · 15/09/2011 11:42

:D DP is a good lad, we have decided to get married late next summer (turns out he really wants to get this all moving too, he just 'hasnt really thought about dates') Men! So you never know I might have a BFP by next xmas.

tostaky · 15/09/2011 13:10

uh...oh.... Im due with my periods today and nothing yet... which is very very strange as i am usually super regular.

we dont use contraception methods, i just calculate when we have to be careful. A few weeks ago, DP forgot to ask me if he had to be careful and i didnt think about it and according to my calendar that was on day two of my fertile window... As we were abroad we didnt make the decision to take a morning after pill just to be sure...

i dont want to test now as we are going away with friends this weekend and i dont want to stress DP too much with that...

He is ok for a third but not now, in a year time he says (and i kind of agree).

Also, my two sons have chickenpox right now and i know it can affect badly babies in the first trimester of pregnancy...

If there is a baby, i hope it is ok and doesnt get affected by chicken pox, if there isnt , then it is fine as well.

Clandy · 15/09/2011 19:15

Aw thank Amanda. I tried to join this thread a while back before we started ttc but some how it got lost amongst the Internet world and didn't have time to repost, decided to start ttc the next day Smile

It is hard but worth such a lot to wait DP is heartbroken and feel bad as it is me saying we have to wait.

littlewater · 15/09/2011 22:09

Dear Amanda,
feeling better today. Things today dont seem as bad as yesterday.
Lw

Original poster
AmandaCooper · 15/09/2011 22:38

Quick drag him out to get it booked, he'll soon get suckered into the whole wedding business! You'll probably have a BFP before I do!

Tostaky that's all a bit exciting and it's great to test the water with a little scare, alternatively of course you may be pg! You'll be thinking about it all weekend you know! Sorry your boys are poorly hope you're all better soon!

Clandy my goodness it's no time at all! Pull yourselves together the pair of you! Grin

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SpamMarie · 16/09/2011 21:09

Buddhagirl call me cheap but I used my engagement ring as my wedding ring, and it was pretty cheap to begin with. In fact our whole wedding cost about £200 (plus a meal out in a nicepub which an uncle paid for which was about £200 for close family). DH was on the brink of redundancy, and we didn't want to delay getting married for the sake of money. And yet here I am, 2 years married and not even looking to conceive because we think we can't afford it! And husband's job is now very stable. How ironic.

The moral of the story is, your wedding can be as cheap or as expensive as you want to make it. Fundamentally it's how you feel on the day that matters, and mine was wonderful even though there weren't any diamonds or limos! I just wish we'd move on to life's next stage, but currently it looks like I'm going to have to wait about 3 or 4 years. :(

Buddhagirl · 16/09/2011 21:29

SpamMarie Thats not cheap, sounds like a plan! Now I'm looking into it a little bit I'm pleasantly surprised just how cheap it can be! PLUS DP is getting on the case and the In-laws-to-be have said they will pay for half. Result!!! All we need to pay for is:

Dress
Registry Office
Catering for 30 in a pub
Rings
Drinks
Table decorations
Night in a hotel
Loads of other stuff I blatently have not thought of yet

Original poster
AmandaCooper · 16/09/2011 22:20

Right dress: find it in a shop, then look on Preloved. My dress cost £250 plus I made a new friend!

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Original poster
AmandaCooper · 16/09/2011 22:22

Caveat: appreciate this is more than spammarie's whole wedding (wow!) but still it's in the right ballpark!

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Buddhagirl · 16/09/2011 23:06

Amanda you are now officially my new best friend. Seriously good tip :) SpamMarie real sorry to hear you have to wait so long :( cant you just get most things 2nd hand and have free family fun? (like you have not thought about that). I just read so many places that babies dont have to be expensive. . . Maybe thats just coming from posh people who just assume it is possible.

notthehippopotamus · 17/09/2011 08:41

Lw I'm so glad you're feeling a bit more positive. Where would we all be without Amanda's sound advice?!

Buddhagirl that is so exciting - do keep us posted on the plans! My DH proposed with his grandmother's ring - in fact we then bought one I actually liked preferred but it still was really inexpensive as it's not a diamond - I prefer coloured stones!

SpamMarie I'm sorry you're having to wait so long. I'm feeling a bit down today as am thinking we may have to wait even longer than I thought after all. DH is really starting to come round to the idea of TTC and we haven't really been actively preventing it, but work is now so horrible (my boss and another colleague are serious bullies) that I think I will just have to find another job and leave, which means waiting until sometime between Feb and May just to find a job and I don't see how I can do that if pg. :(

Tostaky hope everything is ok. And Clandy - congrats on the new job, hope the next two cycles go by quickly for you! :)

littlewater · 17/09/2011 09:37

Amanda thanks for your wonderful advice. things are getting back on track and I don't know where my mind was.
buddagirl congratulations!

Lw

Original poster
AmandaCooper · 17/09/2011 10:58

Littlewater I'm pleased things are looking a bit better for you. My advice was just common sense stuff that we all know. Could it be hormonal do you think? I'm almost certifiably insane around ovulation every month, I just have to remember to recognise it for what it is. Go out and do something lovely with your DP, even if it's just buy a Mr Whippy and feed the ducks.

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Clandy · 17/09/2011 13:02

Aww thanks notthehippopotamus and Amanda for the advice I have given my self a talking to and will just have to wait very patiently!! Smile I think job is far to much hard work for baby makin at the minute anyway.

Babies are not at all expensive though I was a poor student when I had mine and got on just fine. Only issue is childcare but if you are on a low wage tax credits help out fantastically. And I am far from posh.... Blush

littlewater · 17/09/2011 16:47

Amanda it was just after my bleeding, so I think some of it may have been hormonal. We havn't been talking much latly, my work is insane and my DP has got his hands full with his business and going back to uni. I also have several sick members of my family. I expect it was all of this combined.

We have a golden wedding aniversy to go tonight, I expect we will talk lots then (no alcohol and very conservative people going).

Hope everyone is ok! And have a great weekend!!

Lw