Waiting to try for a baby

[AmandaCooper]

A continuation of so many threads spent waiting to ttc that I've completely forgotten what number thread we're on.

If you're waiting to ttc, stop by and say hello!

Thanks ratata and evitas I'm not prepared to start messing around with other contraception, so guess I'll hope my hormones aren't too messed up from being on the pill for so long!
evitas I'll start taking them - they were on 3 for 2 offer in Boots, so I have huge numbers!

Do you know why your baby was premature? Did you go into spontaneous labour? What was his weight? It's not so early and if it was because of an infection (like a urine infection, a common-ish cause) then it is unlikely to repeat. There are some other reasons that can mean you're at risk of another premie and I think the risk varies from 15%-40%. Things like BMI, Ethnicity, underlying health problems etc are also important. I think speaking to your midwife might be sensible - she'll have access to your medical notes and see if there's any clues there about your risk. I'm sure they'll take good care of you second time around, especially if you tell them your concerns. But it really really isn't your fault, these things just happen and guilt doesn't do any good for anyone. And just look after yourself, eat well, be spoiled by your DH (v NB ) - for sure, stress and worry won't help TTC or in pregnancy.
Hope that helps!

Thanks for the good wishes ladies :) Welcome to truckdriver - those sound like reasonable reasons for waiting to me!

evitas if it's worrying you I would speak to the midwife - it sounds as if it's influencing your feelings about TTC so it does make sense to discuss it with her before deciding when to TTC again.

Mrsmellow and ratata I was advised a few months ago by minipie on this thread that it was best not to leave it too late to come off the pill because it can take time for things to get back to normal. There are other threads from people who have waited a long time/are still waiting after several months for ovulation to start up again etc. which freaked me out a bit. However, like many of the threads in conception, it's probably best not to read them!

My experience has been that things have gone pretty much back to normal straight away - I ovulated on cd17 in first cycle after coming off the pill for example, and AF followed 12 days later - although cervical mucus somewhat awol which apparently can happen. Hope that's reassuring! :)

Thanks notthehippopotamous - when I thought we would start TTC in Jan, I thought I'd come off sooner, but now it's only 8 weeks away, I'm not sure it'll make any difference and the alleged 'surge' might be more useful. I am very freaked out after reading other conception threads so have to stop - might just focus on enjoying for the next few weeks instead

Hi, I've been busy (ie. pretending I'm not broody by doing other things) but I'm back :)

monal I'm laughing at the Amazon recomemdation. I'm getting Nietzsche

AmandaCooper I must be a pscho as I thought the cancelling bank propositions was a great idea. Sorry that didn't work out. I?m having my coil removed just before our wedding and if he wants sex after that then it?s TTC (and I casually pointed out that I?d castrate him if I discovered he?d had a vasectomy!) Clearly I?m a total mental as he says he wants a baby! I?m just scared after reading about all the changing mind DPs on MN :(

Snowy27 I get ovulation pain on one side and apparently it?s a bit unusual. My mum asked me if I got it a couple of years ago (her doctor told her to ask me) as apparently it?s a symptom of our wombs pointing the wrong way. I don?t think it?s a big problem conceiving as she had my brother and I easily but babies are more likely to turn or something.

Oh and...

Thischarmingmum(35) WTTC#3, DH happy with 2, Cheshire.
Ratata(27) WTTC#1, waiting until married, Edinburgh
AmandaCooper (33) WTTC#1, DH not ready, Bradford
notthehippopotamus (28) WTTC#1, DH not ready, Essex
Tostaky (34) WTTC#3, need to find new home near good school, London
Monal(31) WTTC#1, waiting to come off the drugs, Paris
HeavensNetIsWide(27) WTTC#1, saving/DH career, Northants
Snowy27 (27) WTTC#1, waiting till after the wedding (Only 50 days to go!), Manchester
halterskalter (33) WTTC#1, need to do a year in new job, London
Truckdriver (32) WTTC#2, not ready yet for #2 just yet, but still broody!
WaitingForMe (28) WTTC #1, TTC as of wedding night (December)

My thoughts on coming off the pill:

Against: Apparently there is a fertility surge once you come off the pill which means that if you manage to time it right you have an increased chance of conception in the first month. My GP is an advocate of this method, which has to be a shout in its favour. Charting and using fertility monitoring is probably unnecessary for most people and could be counterproductive. Also, there is a risk you will get pg before you intended.

For: Some people find that it takes a while for their cycle to get back to normal after they come off the pill. A small minority find that it has been masking a problem. If you want to use a fertility monitor, you may need to wait several cycles before it will work for you. If you come off the pill you can start to learn about your cycle. After 13 months charting I can make extremely accurate predictions about when I will ovulate and when my period will start. If you don't chart or use OPKs you won't know whether your period is late or whether you are just having a longer cycle than usual. FAM works well as a contraceptive method.

Hi ladies,

May I join too? Married two months, and observing 2nd friend going through pregnancy has made me RIDICULOUSLY broody - which scared me to start with, as I have never had strong maternal feelings (until now).

After much soul searching with DH, we do now feel we are ready (in fact, whilst drunk - when DH is at his most honest, he said "let's just get pregnant now").

I am trying to be very sensible though, especially re job and money, so we have set a "target" of TTC in January. I am planning to come off the pill in the next month or two and try and let my cycle settle before TTC.

I guess that puts me in a lucky position regarding taking supplements and getting fit in preparation (er yes, really ought to go back to the gym), but part of me thinks I don't really have very good reasons for putting it off...

...and I guess I'll probably remain for a couple more months!

Thischarmingmum(35) WTTC#3, DH happy with 2, Cheshire.
Ratata(27) WTTC#1, waiting until married, Edinburgh
AmandaCooper (33) WTTC#1, DH not ready, Bradford
notthehippopotamus (28) WTTC#1, DH not ready, Essex
Tostaky (34) WTTC#3, need to find new home near good school, London
Monal(31) WTTC#1, waiting to come off the drugs, Paris
HeavensNetIsWide(27) WTTC#1, saving/DH career, Northants
Snowy27 (27) WTTC#1, waiting till after the wedding (Only 50 days to go!), Manchester
halterskalter (33) WTTC#1, need to do a year in new job, London
Truckdriver (32) WTTC#2, not ready yet for #2 just yet, but still broody!
WaitingForMe (28) WTTC #1, TTC as of wedding night (December)
GattoRosso (27) WTTC #1, waiting for the new year (for some reason)

squeeeeeee Just been told that I'm going to be an auntie! I had no idea my brother would even have kids. But it was totally planned and happened very quickly :) Soooo over excited. I started crying when he told me on the phone tonight. I hope things happen quickly when we start trying in Dec so we have kids close together :D

Hi all
I wasn't pregnant, just randomly late! (which I was secretly disappointed at!)
However on the plus side Mr Snowy says we can 'not try not to get pregnant' (which sounds very complicated but basically means just risking it rather than 'actively trying'!)
His only worry is 'will your dress look alright if your pregnant'
Hurrah!

Aw Ratata that is lovely news! Really nice that it happened so quickly too - hope it is just as easy for you. It will be lovely to have cousins close in age!

Sorry you were just late, Snowy, but good news about 'not trying not to'. I think that is kind of where Mr Hippo is at too. With only 50ish days to go I expect your dress will be ok :) How exciting to have that and the wedding all happening at once!

Welcome to GattoRosso and good luck with the preparations. So many people waiting till the new year!

Thanks notthehippopotamus, I'm hoping I take after my Mum (who only had to be looked at in a funny way to get up the duff!) Yep it's all go here! I think my dress would be fine- I bought it 6 months ago when I was nearly 2 stone heavier and it fitted fine, so if a tiny snowy was to take up residence then I'm sure there would be plenty of space!

evitas I can understand why you would be feeling apprehensive when you have had a premature baby before. I don't see anything wrong with having the chat with the midwife beforehand, you are concerned and she will put you at ease I'm sure.

Thanks notthehippopotamus I wasn't sure whether to come off sooner or not. I hear different reasons for each. I really don't want to get pregnant before my honeymoon though so going to stay on til a bit after it then come off. Then it will be fingers crossed :)

Thanks for your thoughts Amanda, there does seem to be a good debate for whether to come off sooner or not.

Welcome GattoRosso It's strange how the maternal feelings just come on so strong so suddenly isn't it. I was the same, had a pregnancy scare (just late period) and from then on I was so broody. Sounds like you are being sensible, if you feel that new year is the right time then it probably is the right time for you :)

Aw Snowy sorry to hear that. But great news that you are not trying not to get pregnant! That's a good step forward! I'm sure the dress would still fit should you get pregnant quickly.

I've calmed down a bit since yesterday. Still really excited though. She's only 9 weeks gone but they had a scan and heard the heartbeat. She has another scan in 4 weeks so really hoping thatgoes well. My mum is over the moon as this will be the first grandchild :D

Aw my neighbour just popped over with her little on, 2 year old wee girl. She loves coming to see my rats and likes to laugh at them and say 'the mouse the mouse! Look at the mouse in his boat!' The ratties have a plastic bed that hangs like a hammock and she thinks it's a boat. Me and OH actually call it a boat too lol. Eeee broooodyyyy.

Cute neighbour Ratata :)

Was working with a 6 week old today, I just wanted to take him and give him a big cuddle. Nearly convinced myself to start TTC, which is naughty as I have to wait 11 months :(

Ooooo Snowy that sounds promising, get to it

Haven't had chance to get on here for a while and still making my way through the posts to catch up. But thought I would send a quick message for evitas.

With ds my waters broke at 30 weeks and he was born at 31 weeks. So I had same worries as you during second pregnancy. I had extra consultant appointments during preg no.2 but dd ended up being born at 41 weeks!

So you have reasonable chance of having a more textbook pregnancy second time round.

Hope that helps. Will catch up on posts and rply properly this weekend. X

Thank you very much for your messages of support and encouragement. mrsmellow, they never told why I went into labour at 35w. I had a few complications when I was 26w but the consultants were a bit lost on the diagnose, and I ended up being the 'mystery mum' as one of them told me.... not very reassuring . ThisCharmingMum your experience is reassuring from 31 to 41w :)

I'm trying to finish by thesis at the moment, so my mind is focused on that. I guess I'll try to contact the midwife in September.

Ratata or rather aunti Ratata :) It will be great if you have children close in age. Does your brother live close to you?

Truckdriver I also saw a 8/9 week baby yesterday and I also had the same thought

Snowy :) very exciting!

Ok, need to go back to my studies.
Waves to everyone and have a great weekend

Hello! I'm waiting to ttc as getting married in March 2012, and it's logically best to wait until after that.... However, am feeling super impatient! It's not helped by the fact that I've been diagnosed with very low progesterone levels, for which I'm taking chaste tree extract to try and resolve it all naturally. Want to test its effectiveness Feeling glad that there is a thread for us to all talk on, as am dying to be on one of the buses but must wait!

Hi may I join you? I'm waiting to ttc too. I'm gonna sound bizzare here lol. I turned 21 in june, had my 2nd baby in April and he's now 16wks I don't wanna try yet as he's 2 young and my dp doesn't want another just yet our oldest is nearly 3. I've always wanted a big family but u just want 1 more I know I'm young but I don't want a big age gap between them there was 10yrs between me n my sister n I never wanted mine to b big age gaps like that.

I'm glad it's the holidays- I don't think I'd have the energy needed for all this SWI when working!

Just wondering what if anything people are doing to get ready to try?

I've started taking pre-natal vitamins, and will be coming off the pill at the end of this packet (about a week and a half left - although I discovered last night that I've missed one?! No idea when... Subconcious intent?!). My plan is to allow my cycle to settle again before intending to start TTC in January.

I am also meant to be going to the gym more often, but I am pathetic and have only gone once a week so far. I really need DH's encouragement/bullying to go, even though I moan when he does that!

DH thinks it may take a long time to conceive, and although I know that can be true, the opposite can also be true - he jokes that he is going to disrupt my plans with that attitude! Though his point is really that planning is all much of a muchness when you can't really plan these things. It is making me question my timeline though...

I was worried that he had lost interest in the idea, or didn't want to discuss it, but it turns out he thought he had shared his views and now it was up to me to decide what I am happy with - but I am SO bad at making decisions!

Hello! May I join you? I am desperate to start ttc dc3 but dh says he wants to wait till "the time is right". The frustrating thing is he won't even discuss when that might be and if I even bring it up he has a strop. So I thought maybe could vent on here. Think he wants to wait for financial reasons and also because I get hyperemesis and it's awful fr everyone, so pretty sensible really!

Hello

Is there a time limit on the "wait" before you can join?

hello, can I join in too?

We have a DS 2.9, and have agreed that we will start TTC DC2 so that there will be a 4-5 year gap, i.e. some time in 2012. We can't afford 2 in childcare as we both need to work FT, and we'd also like to move house. Most of my colleagues (or that's what it feels like) are going on mat leave next year so should probably wait a bit for that reason too.

So, all in all, lots very sensible reasons to wait, but my poor hormones are raging a bit and I do secretly keep hoping for a little accident

Hello again! Been away quite a while on hols and generally really busy. Now I'm supposed to be doing some work - so back on here procrastinating!

DichotoMous I don't think we have any rules on here, we're a pretty friendly lot, so welcome :) washngo that sounds very sensible but hard. A friend of mine had hyperemesis and I wondered whether she would necessarily have it again if she had another LO - I'm guessing you had it with both your DCs? enjoyingscience - I don't find sensible reasons make waiting any easier, so sympathise!

Good luck GattoRosso - hope things settle down speedily for you. I don't think my DH has any idea how long it might take to conceive once we start trying - in fact I'm not sure he's really internalised the fact that there is such a limited opportunity each month and such a lot of time when all you can do is wait!

And in answer to Snowy's question from weeks ago, apart from taking vitamins, I'm managing to do pretty much nothing in preparation - totally failing on the exercise etc. But I agree about the holidays - what a shame they are nearly over!