30s TTC - The BESH thread at the end of WOOniverse.

[PrincessBoo]

Donne thy robes and come join the hagges round a crackling fire made of ye olde pee sticks, as we run around nekkid, high on snorted baybeedust, and do our straynge erotick rituals on the altar of ye inconstant moon.

Come one, come all as we cast spelles and do any Magick we can finde on our queste for an elusive win.

Bring thy gynne for yon cauldron and help thyself to a laddle, as we prepare the incantationnes...

So reality check for me. I'm on a 2 day hangover with a whole day of drinking ahead of me and have been a bit miz because I canfeel the droid approacheth. I seriously need to make some lifestyle changes before I continue to moan. We have guests so I'm kind of incommunicado, hence the radio silence but I heard rumour of fresh meat so had to come along to investigate.

Hello newbs, I amin very much agreement with Alan Rickman love, oh yes. He had me at the Sheriff of Nottingham. Can also see the Dawn French thing, she's clearly a very sexual woman.

SwimmingWithTheFishes that is utter shit behaviour from the droid. It's simple rudeness to announce one's (unwelcome at the best of times) arrival and then demonstrate tardiness on such a large scale. I unfortunately have no menkul fuelling stories of my 15th test post-due date being the BFP, but am hopeful that you can do this and become a BESH urban legend. In years to come we can all be nodding wisely and saying, "oh yes, there was once one in our midst who got the better of the evil droid, testing negative for 5 days when the bleeping fucker appeared to be well on it's way. But on the 6th day. She won" (in the spirit of Hazza P, imagine that in a Dumbeldore voice for best effect)

Right then, TGB has got a cup of tea and bacon sarnie on the go plus I need to find some drugs to kick my wine headache. How come junkies can win baybees and differs who smoke all through can have lovel, healthy bundles but I feel guilty and can't bloody do it properly? Where's my feckin baybee? waaaaaah.

God, soz like, I wonder if I'm still pished?

truffles

I get that feeling too a lot, I work with young people and the amount of weed smoking, bacardi breezer supping young women i see get pregnant at the drop of thier knickers never fails to make me seethe quietly.

I too am hung over. I will join your pain x

Bacon sarnie and tea have perked me right up. Surely a shower and hair wash will now complete the transformation back to human being!

Thanks Lilac I feel bad for moaning and I'm only sounding off really. It's my own fault for not sprogging when I was at the peak fertile ae

Oh you're not alone. My last job was working with drug-using women - they were all up the fucking duff in no time and screaming like bleeding banshees at their children who were all called Chardonnay or Charlie or something else.

Kind of disappointing when you are shagging for England and the Channel Islands and still no baybeeee.

Feesh that is v.cocking annoying re. AWOL droid. If the fecker turns up we will snap his caterpillar treads off.

We may not be at peak fertility but we are at peak of all manner of other things plus will not call our infants Chardonnay. And don't get me started on the drugs/tarts/bacardi breezers, we'll be here all day. Arrrrrggghh.

My brother-in-law's sister has 2 kids called Bailey and Tia. Just has well she didn't have any more, she would probably have named it Smirnoff!

Hello newbies! Currently diffed ESH here still hanging round like a bad smell. Just wanted to interject that my friend who teaches over in bandit country the Wirral has a child in her class called Talisker. At least the parents have decdnt taste in booze I suppose.

Welcome Dor and Lara. I am an almost daily lurker, occasional post-er and am relatively new (is that true?). My job does not enable me to mn during working hours, so can be a little difficult to contribute more. The BESH ladies here are very kind and supportive violent and funny.

As for Bailey and Tia, wow. I read a book once that basically said that if you name your kids stupid names, it has a lifelong effect on them. Do they get teased? Or are they so damn hard that no one would dare?

Mind you, my brother named his daughter after a car. But Elise is quite a nice name in it's own right... At least he dropped the Lotus out of the naming process...

Am a bit cagey about where I live because I would be very easy to out. So shhh.

Trumps, the droid is getting me too. I feel like a sad, dried out, barren old maid. And I was really looking forward to being a person who said "I went away on a dirty weekend, just relaxed and lo and behold I was knocked up." :( x 10000. But at least am a droid-buddy with you.

Well I'm pissed yet again, have been playing drinking games and making friends with the bar manager. I think I have a bit of a girl crush on her. Her sister also has the cutest little girl, whom I manage to play with (and teach her how to colour) before my ovaries started weeping I got too drunk.

I am sorry for yet another Woofail Rie and Truffs. I was so hoping my fred would begat wins a plenty. :(

Hello All...

Just got a text from a colleague - her son decided to make his entrance into the world at 2am this morning VERY SUDDENLY - i.e. before the ambulance could even arrive. So her superman of a husband delivered the baby! How incredibly awesome is that... the man deserves respect...! And how brave of her to a) have trusted him (!) and b) to have done the whole thing without any pain relief! If I ever, ever make it to giving birth (least of all even getting a BFP to start with), I think I'd want all the drugs going...

The sheer number of babies being conceived / born at the moment is utterly depressing...

Ooh - if I can drop into your weird names conversation, here in this part of the world (rough and ready sarffff London), the trend between the Yardie single muvvers is to call their kids names like "Shadiqua", "Sharmaniqua" and "Dushaan" - essentially, the more creative the name the better - and added points for adding a "q", repetition of vowels and interesting prefixes like "De" and "Du".

Shaniqua says wha...?

I'm sure that is start of a song.

Almost every young perosn I work with male or female is called Ashley. It's weird but out of 43 students at work 11 of them are called Ashley or Ashleigh.

Lo BESHlings.

Anything left in the cauldron? Or shall I make a new brew?

Have had most unwelcome news today re. job situation. Management have now said that we won't find out till the beginning of March. My contract ends at the end of March FFS

This really isn't the best month to be ttc - we should be SWI tomorrow evening (he's not here tonight) and I'm thinking whether or not wait until I find out. Or shall I just say 'what the hell' again? I'm don't really want not to try but I'm worried about how we'll survive if we're successful. Balls to it.

AIBU to change into my pyjamas rather than shouting 'go to fucking bed' asTGB red carded himself 2 hours ago and I have been compering the sing star for his mates ever since.

Morning BESHERS

Am up early today because I am still searching for the rusty little fucker. Another BFN this morning but now I am getting worried and a teensy bit excited. Do I dare to even bother getting excited because I fear the moment I do the little shit will appear. Stupidly i posted a thread in chat and lots of people said they didn't get first positives until way into thier pregnancy.

snuffles I would change into jammies and shout "go to fucking bed?" if it were me, but it's probably moot point as it's now morning.

boo surely they cant give you less than a months notice? or is the original letter considered as notice? See you in a bit, hope the weather improves somewhat.

Hum de dum

Lilacs I have been on a 6 week consultancy period since the 10th Jan. That ends on 28 th Feb. Then they can give me four weeks notice. Which is the end of Jan, so it's the same thing.

:o at Trufflekin How's your head dear?

March I mean. Doh.

Feesh that is a right headfuck. As to the getting excited, I cannot recommend it - that's Exactly What The Beeping Fecker Wants. Instead, remain serene and pretend that you are not remotely bothered whether he turns up or not. Tum-ti-tum, nothing to see here etc.

Having said that I am a firm believer in the 'think the worst and then nothing worse than that can happen'.

TRUFFS HOW IS YOUR HANGOVER????

Boo that sucks all manner of sucky things. On the plus side I'd say go for it with the ttc as surely that will result in ironi-diff? :)

I quite like the name Talisker. We did have a 'Chardonnay' , a 'Nature' and several Phoenixes born whilst I working in't hospital, I wept inwardly each time I visited them. Also was amazed how many parents had no idea how to spell the name they'd just given their baybee. I often had to tell them.

Gah. Just found out that another 21 year old I know is pregnant. She started her TTC journey in December... all I heard from her was her excited breathy giggle and annoyingness.

Could happily batter her.

Bitter?
Twisted?
Moi?

Hell yeah.

Hangover from hell
Droid has arrived
Am in a world of bad times

Boo work shiz sucks dirt big time, but deffo ironi diff potential

Dor in those circumstances GBH is practically an essential requirement, not just acceptable.

Fish is evilness to have no droid but no BFP either. Botty speaks wise words.

Aw Truffs that is excessively shit. Pliz to dive into this bath of Resolve for instant betterness. I have dissolved paracetamol in it for absorption through skin to aid with headache removal.

Those tablets you're meant to dissolve in water - my Dad once ate one of the giant vitamin C ones as he hadn't read the packet. There was much frothing at the mouth. He is a bit speshul.