Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 10)

[youremindmeofthebaubles]

Had a miscarriage and ready to try again? This is the place for you, support in the form of virtual wine, chocolate and a great big shoulder to cry on (tears not essential). The new year beckons us, lots of BFP's for everyone

UCL= Usual cycle Length
CD= cycle day

Wiggle have you told anyone else in RL about your MC or would telling this girl be 'breaking cover' so to speak? I do wonder whether telling her might be the best way - unburden yourself a little bit maybe? Either way - whether you decide to go or not - I'm sure you will be fine. I know everyone is different but I always find that the worrying is worse than the event iitself when it comes to it. Hugs xxx

sorry wiggles xpost so sorry it's being a hard time for you at the moment. is it completely different to normal? when are you due? As to the party if you're definately not up for going i'd talk to her about it. could they do it another day maybe??

Having said that my friend is due at the end of this month, we were supposed to meet up at xmas as haven't seen each other for about 2 years, (dc's 1 week apart) i couldn't face it with her being so pregnant, but she doesn't know about mc and was too fresh so didn't feel up to telling her.

I'm feeling better already, just having got that off my chest.

Mama Hurray for the pub! Here's hoping that 2011 will be your year and that this is just the start of the good news!
Mummy Good luck with your appt
Bee Well done on getting over your first hurdle, things sound positive so far, let's hope they stay that way
velvet What were yr signs of poss implantation? Did I miss something? Scrolled back but can't find it!

Big wave to everyone. Would namecheck further but wiggletime means I'll end up spending entire afternoon on mn if I do!

oops meant to say congrats mamap that's so great.

hey wombat how you doing??

Hey Cep. I'm okay - losing the plot slowly but surely

Sorry, x posts with wombat and cep. My friend does know about mc, yes, and I'm sure she'd be very sympathetic, in fact they all would be and part of me thinks that I should just tell her but then I don't want everyone treading on eggshells around me and acting differently just because of my situation. Unfortunately at the moment it seems easier to be very non-committal and flaky about the whole thing which I hate and it's not really me! There's still another month (ie cycle) before then though so another 'chance' I may be feeling differently by then.

Cep According to my cycle slave FF, I'm due on Mon.

Actually, I think I've just pinpointed why it is I'm finding it hard to go to the party. There is only one girl in the group who doesn't know I miscarried (afaik, unless someone has told her, it's possible) I was miscarrying at her hen party and didn't want to tell her, then the next time I saw her it was at her wedding. We usually go on a night out, all of us, once every couple of months but I missed the last one. She announced then that she was 10 weeks pg (fell on honeymoon). So in effect I wouldn't have known this had someone else not told me.

I need to congratulate her but I also want to say 'I was pregnant too, but now I'm not' which is just hideous really. Talk about killing a conversation.

how are the symptoms doing?? i am really pleased for you. Am hoping to follow in your footsteps. :)

wiggle still a few days to go then, fx for you that it's implantation or something.

Wiggle can you contact her in advance of the party, congratulate her, share your bad news and explain that you just wanted to let her know ahead of the get-together because you don't want it to dominate the evening but you wanted her to know just in case you feel the need at any point in the evening to absent yourself from the conversation if it gets a bit too much for you?

Thanks Cep. Symptoms aren't strong enough for my liking (would feel more reassured if I had my head consantly down the toilet ) but I'm still only about 5+2 ish I think so am hoping that's on it's way

wiggle maybe just take her to one side and say i'm sorry i haven't congratulated you before but i'd just mc and was coping with that but that you are pleased for her etcetc.

Although writing it down still seems a bit odd, so maybe not.

wombat i think ms tends to come on about 6 weeks + doesn't it if i remember correctly. I hope you're soon too sick to move. in a nice way obviously.

i really must go for now, speak to you later.

Thanks Cep x

Wombat Thanks, that's probably a good idea. I feel as if I should congratulate her beforehand as the initial email did mention 'bumps' so ordinairily I would have been thinking 'hang on, who's pregnant now!?' The reason she didn't know I mc was because she didn't even know I was pg. So even if she has found out that I mc it's prob not the kind of thing she wants to bring up in conversation.

There must be a less confusing way of putting that but it escapes me right now..!

cep that sounds v sensible too, thank you xx

Goodness, I was warned this thread moved fast but bloody hell! Right, after trying to catch up for almost an hour (and fitting in school run) I have as follows:

Wiggles - if you don't fancy going then don't go, however, it might end up being a nice catch up and you might surprise yourself on how much you enjoy it? Have a back up friend to ring you, say 20 mins into the event and if you are hating it then use her as the excuse that you have to leave. (I used to be the friend to call when my best mate would go out on first dates, it was quite comical )

Orange - the wait must be hard for that first scan but I agree with the trying to hold out for the NHS free one, if it's a bit early to see anything then this might worry you more.

MamaP - fab news on the shop front! I almost cried at your post about what your dh said

Emoo, Loola and others who are charting - I don't really get it? How/what are you charting? Presumably it is temperatures but what is the norm in what should/shouldn't be happening. Have always avoided this looking into this for fear of going mental getting a bit carried away but am now inquisitive.

Velvet - how was the exam?

Hadrian - great news on being given the all clear. I was relieved to get the final hospital trip out of the way, it's such a harrowing ordeal

AandR - hope your trip to Oz was uneventful and you land there safely. Dh has relatives in Oz and I would love to go but absolutely hate flying so don't fancy the prospect really.

Choccy - well done on the weight loss!

Izzy - hope you have a weight loss. I did SW a couple of years ago and lost 2 stone, have put most of it back on now though but just don't have the motivation to shift it at the mo

Lady - I guess it's normal to feel like that as, I guess some of us in particular know, that pg after mc just doesn't seem quite as real which is sad really....so many milestones...

Cep - it will be hard when you meet your friend, I know as I have just met up with my cousin who is as far on as I should have been. In fact, it's really hard but I think you should still go as in some way it kind of helped me get through another chapter. Let your dp know before you go that you might not be in a very happy place when you get home. Sorry if that sounds so depressing but that's how I felt.

Right I knwo I haven't listed everyone so HI to others but mum has turned up and have to post this or I will lose it - I will be back

Thanks cep, Wiggle and Wombat it's in kent Velvet that's your neck of the woods and I didn't answer your question about 'where' did I... I can now reveal it is in the Jewel of the High Weald... Tenterden! It is a Restaurant/wine bar very upmarket and glamourous! Ohhhhh I can't wait! Anyone live there/got friends or rellies that way?? As long as all goes to plan I'll let you know when we open but I hope by end of March.

Wiggle not selfish at all! I totally get it. About telling I agree with Wombat... Also, people who I thought would be less than supportive have been very understanding and I think it will stop any furure awkward situations/comments!

x-posts Chloe thanks, I know, I am so lucky to have a very very wonderfully supportive dh! How are you?

Ooh Mamap how exciting!!! I do't know that part of the world. But glamourous wine bar/restaurant sounds fab!! and open by the end of March - wow that would be quick and so exciting!

Hello Chloe!

Am a little indecisive again today after seeing a couple of friends today and yesterday.

Remember how I said I had made my mind up about seeking part time work? Well both friends have advised now might not be the best time. Arrrgghh, I know it's up to me what I do but I understand where they are coming from. I have 2 little cleaning jobs which take up about 8 hours of my week over 2 days which I would continue even with part time work as they are both for family. The consultant has told me to stay as stress free as possible and keep rested throughout the course of medication and if I am lucky enough to conceive then I need to be wise in my choice of work and to continue to stay rested. He said he is well aware that bed rest will not prevent an MC if it is inevitable but he is a bit old school and believes I should take things very slow.

So, my friends have a point when they say it is not an ideal time to start a new job especially if I don't plan on quitting my cleaning jobs (I can't to be fair). However, this obviously suggests no extra income now and def no Mat Pay should I fall pg.

Hmmmmm, bet dh wishes I hadn't spoken to them! I have applied for a couple of jobs today, both are teaching assistants for early years, part time so I think I will continue applying and leave my options open.

This is just the start of an awesome year for you

Proper catchup later x

chloe I doubt you will be working anywhere long enough to claim maternity pay anyway so I wouldn't use that as a basis on which to return to work! However, you know what the right thing to do is and perhaps a little teaching assistant job will give you another focus so you aren't obsessing??? Just a thought! I agree you should leave your options open, your heart will tell you what to do

Thanks orange hope you are doing well today misuss

Mama p - I have actually only been out of work since mid Dec, so less than month so if I did get work straight away I could potentially still get it....I think anyway!

Ha ha - catch-up skills? Work avoidance, more like... I "work from home" on some Thursdays, so get to read all about what you lot have done in the earlier part of the week..

Hadrian - glad your scan was reassuring - are you now raring to go?

Teacake - I think your TTC-lite and minimal-obsession plan sounds like a good one, and a positive step, but I am sorry to hear you are still so sad about things (()).

MummyA - are you back yet? How'd it go?

MamaP - hoooorayyyyy! That's really good news, sounds very posh! Let's hope it's joined by a BFP to put the icing on the cake!

Wiggle - About the party - I agree honesty the best policy. This MC thing is hard enough without having to pretend you're completely fine and happy as well. I've told more people than I'd originally intended to, and it seems to be helping the grieving by making the whole thing seem more real, because day by day the memory of being pregnant is receding, and I find myself sometimes wondering if it was all a surreal dream.

chloe if you are working but haven't been for long enough for mat leave there is maternity allowance, and also if you work 16 hrs (unsure if this has to be in 1 job) but there is a low household income you could claim working tax credits.

mummya how did it go?

emoo i still believe some skill is involved here somewhere, i only work part time, but am always having to look back cause i've forgotten who said what, and even then i miss some.