Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

Great news LadyG!

We're going to my MILs for Christmas dinner for the first time in a few years so it will be traditional fare but I am not sure exactly what - tbh, a little nervous as her cooking mojo has deserted her somewhat in recent years, but I am sure all will be fine. I've also ordered some M+S stuff for us to have when we come back home, between Christmas and New Year.

When I did Christmas two years ago, my menu was canapes an hour or so before dinner, being smoked salmon mousse in crostades, quail's eggs with celery salt, pesto pastry wheels and tomatoes and mozzarella with parma ham. Then main course of turkey, ham, roast potatoes, creamed parsnips, carrots, braised celery, homemade cranberry sauce, homemade pork and sage stuffing, chipolatas, bread sauce. Followed by my Mum's Christmas pudding and/ or Bailey's flavoured chocolate yule log.

Great news LGG

I am at home. With no voice. I've lost it so if any of you see it anywhere (loudish with strange Midlands / Scottish cross accent) then please give it a kick up the arse and send it back to me.

I stupidly did a first response test today. I saw them on offer in Boots so had to buy them then came home and did it. Was negative obv. Wank. Oh well - at least my drinking at the weekend will not cause me any guilt.

Nice one GG. Such a relief for you xxx

Saw your post at work dead on 10.30 Lady but couldn't log in to reply, closed my eyes and sent good thoughts, so pleased for you

Back later BESHes - watching Nativity.

Good news GG hope you'll be able to put your mind at rest over Christmas now.

Morning BESHes and a Happy hippy Solstice to y'all. I have taken annual leave today to save faffing about in the snow so I am feeling very jolly indeed

Ooooh, solstice. Must burn things and dance nekkid.

I am thinking about new fred. I may even start the next one any reaquests?

Happy it's nearly summer day! I have burnt toast and wandered around the house nekkid as couldn't find dressing gown does that count?

boo am going to make your gingerbread later and stuff my face with it offer it up to god of choice. I am sticking with <a class="break-all" href="http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.bazalto.com/auction/images/Min-Bronze-2.jpg&imgrefurl=cgi.ebay.co.uk/MIN-Egyptian-god-sexuality-Fertility-Stone-Statue-/140481583777&usg=__DeFP2g9P0RhMh87oCUJrARLNQG0=&h=733&w=400&sz=17&hl=en&start=35&zoom=1&tbnid=1UH7OsBPZruJjM:&tbnh=156&tbnw=83&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dancient%2Begyptian%2Bfertility%2Bgod%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4SKPB_enGB248GB248%26biw%3D1676%26bih%3D796%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C239&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=607&vpy=397&dur=31&hovh=304&hovw=166&tx=78&ty=283&ei=EH4QTbv6I4aJ4gaL9aSGAg&oei=8n0QTcHOEYSs8gPFq_CEBw&esq=6&page=2&ndsp=41&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:35&biw=1676&bih=796" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> thi fella as I got my win after putting the one we brought back from honeymoon on the window sill above our head board with his, ahem cock pointing at our sleeping forms.

I was just about to suggest something pagan and Yule-ish with fertility rites in the snow and stuff for the new fred. Something involving yew trees and that sort for thing?

I've been considering the overall concept of new fred and am left wondering whether it should contain anything pertaining to BESH or whether we should get shot of it - which would not stop us having a palace/barge/whatever we fecking like anyhoo. How about an Alpine Chalet? I quite fancy a bit of yodelling action and hot choc with brandy in.

But these are just my thoughts and if it is decided to keep it I shall not be mortally offended as I am currently preoccupied with wondering if the banana I have just eaten will stay down or come back up. Bitey I fear you may have been right. Nice cock, btw.

Gingerbread sounds like a fine plan; would not waste it on offering to god of choice though; would trough the lot.

Xpost - am liking the pagan idea :) Any excuse to frolic nekkid.

Sorry owlpukey I am getting no pleasure from that! Eat toast and lots of it!

< thinks even more seriously about going back to school and handing back A level English certificate. I clearly don't deserve it!>

Toast and marmite is the best thing in the world. End of.

Nutella! Nutella!

I am at home again. Still looking for my voice. I had Shreddies to celebrate the solstice.

I worked on a small scottish island once where lay lines were meant to cross and at the summer solstice it always went a little bit mental. Was never there for the winter one though.

I don't give a pot of white goods as to what the next fred is called - as long as it's easily identifiable and I'm not left wandering Conception with the non-cake-carriers and the baybeedusters and baybeedancers. If there's any feckin' dancing to be done during the festive season it should be more "staggery" than dancey and with one hand clutching a slopping pint and the other clutching a green fag. Shoes & tights optional.

I delivered the MIL to Cologne yesterday and got her at the front of the queue - she got back home at 3:10 this morning your time. Although the autobahns were mostly clear it was still heavy going and I was pooped when I returned home.

I read a Graham Masterton ( I think) book once about ley lines - fascinating/weird stuff. Where was it you were bitey? I lived up on the islands for a while as a teen.

Joins in the nekkid dance

I haz just eaten a cheese and ham toastie with chicken noodle soup. Mmmm. And now eating a fat slice of Yule log.

Nausea still there but slightly less unrelenting which is allowing me to vary my diet beyond Branflakes and milk and chips which has to be a good thing.

Not me skihorse but sunnydee. Coincidentally my nearest beach is an area of lay line convergance, not sure how I know that.

Droid arrived especially for the solstice. 5 days early, heavier than I've ever experienced and hurting like fuck. What a ball bag of wank. I'm really trying hard not to wallow but am struggling. Comforting self with steak & kidney pie from the canteen and a twirl for afters and the thought that it's Christmas Eve in only 3 days, when I will be getting drunker than a drunk thing then carrying on in a similar fashion for the whole week!

No opinion on next fred. Soz hags. Am wallowing.

I'd like to stick with the BESHes (I likes the tradition) but I think a bit of explanation as to what the acronym means and an invitation to 30's plus non 'baybeedusters' will be cool. However I have no time to think of anything as smallchild is having an attack of the Klingons.

Sorry bout Droid Truffs. Think everyone I know suffered more than ever with it this month - large moon you see

re next fred. I think we could get some mileage out of 'lay'lines though

Ski it was Iona. Quite often full of strange people but I loved it all the same.

Truff I'll be joining your wallowing in a couple of days. The little fucker is definitely on its way.

Boo there is a lunar eclipse today - which is v rare. Last one was in 1703. Dunno what it means but there you have it!

I like being a BESH