Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

Ah sorry boo I paused the tv while I disentangled the kitten from the christmas tree so was twenty minutes behind everyone else! Have kitten cuddles to cheer you up, they're gods in ye olde Egypt after all!

Our massive cat picked a fight with something list night and now has random scratches all over the place, the daft bugger.

Bitey that is encouraging news on the belching; I look forward to copious vomming in due course

Promising, hmmmm, yes indeed. I shall be watching you lot like a hawk .

Boo my lovely come here and let me punch you on the nose affectionately. Tis the shittest time of the year anyway without extra shitness on top of enforced shagging etc.

Gin welcome back :)

Am not gonna slap you, G , weeeeellll, only a little bit

Am about to set off for entire w/e with the inlaws. Joy on a stick. See you all in a couple of days (if I survive)

Anyone else got lots of snow this morning? So pleased to have an excuse to sit on mumsnet work at home!

Glad to have been the bearer of glad tidings owly! Is now a good time to mention the flatulence?

We had a bit of snow overnight but was all gone this morning. The last hour has produced a small blizzard though and everything in sight is now white over. Am supposed to be journeying to the homeland tomorrow for group festive binge drinking so hope it doesn't put the kibosh on that plan, have been looking forward to it muchly.

Re: painful buzzwams. Am really not sure how to gauge this as they are a bit achey / hurty when prodded, but then would poking myself always be a bit uncomfortable? No retching or crying today so it is very likely that yesterdays 'symptoms' were entireley imagined.

I did have a dream about breastfeeding two toddlers though, the really disturbing thing was that neither of them were mine and my FIL commented on what a good job I was doing, whilst peering at the bairns

Make of that what you will.

weird dreams - check
sore buzzwams - check
random nausea - check

Truffers how soon can you POAS? Will you take some magic sticks to the Motherland with you? (stupid question I know). And will you be able to get on to MN and tell us all about it?

Oooh I do love a good menkul on someone elses behalf. :)

I am over the snow now, got my Christmas lunch with my BFFs tomorrow and will be gutted if I can't make it! We have only had this one day of it so can't really complain. I should HTFU really but eating is such a joy at the minute!

I dreamt last night that FDH and I were caught having the sechs in a hotel cloakroom by a small latino man. I had on a gold glittery dress with matching eyeshadow that I was most taken with. I spent sometime this morning online shopping for these items before realising I had been watching too much strictly and it wasn't the best outfit after all. FDH more taken with the sechs part of that dream but I brushed him aside in favour of the shopping.

Oooh <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=<a class="break-all" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/316dE9gE%252BZL.jpg&imgrefurl=http://halloweencostumesmegastore.com/detail/sexy-worlds-greatest-boxer-costume-for-women-boots-B003FS72D2&usg=__bh3oBvTOe_9V55mrEHaP0mCiZ9o=&h=450&w=363&sz=16&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=yUcr3lxC7eNSOM:&tbnh=172&tbnw=147&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgold%2Bboxing%2Boutfit%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26rlz%3D1T4SKPB_enGB248GB248%26biw%3D1659%26bih%3D757%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=593&ei=t3gLTafUNse74AbRxaXgDA&oei=lngLTZL0KceKhQe2p523Cw&esq=4&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:15,s:0&tx=81&ty=59"" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/316dE9gE%252BZL.jpg&imgrefurl=halloweencostumesmegastore.com/detail/sexy-worlds-greatest-boxer-costume-for-women-boots-B003FS72D2&usg=__bh3oBvTOe_9V55mrEHaP0mCiZ9o=&h=450&w=363&sz=16&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=yUcr3lxC7eNSOM:&tbnh=172&tbnw=147&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgold%2Bboxing%2Boutfit%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26rlz%3D1T4SKPB_enGB248GB248%26biw%3D1659%26bih%3D757%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=593&ei=t3gLTafUNse74AbRxaXgDA&oei=lngLTZL0KceKhQe2p523Cw&esq=4&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:15,s:0&tx=81&ty=59" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this is me! Classy non?

Simply beauts Bites but such a shame the boots aren't included. I often find that outfits experienced in dreams are impossible to convincingly recreate in real life.

Gin I might, possibly, potentially pack some piss sticks if I remember. (I was thinking a cheapo Boots one plus a digi and a CB indicator just in case of a positive, as I would want it spelt out!)

ItalianMama pliz to leave the innards for a little while longer? I'm planning to make the most of this week in drinking terms, just in case I have to reign it in after Chrimbo. Have enjoyed a large Baileys and festive tunes whilst wrapping gifts for TGB. He did unfortunately arrive home mid-wrapping but I just sent him out whilst I finished them so now we have gifts under the tree!

Hey Hags. Ian Brown was magic - he had on a skeleton track suit a la kids Halloween costumes! My works party was also immense. No celebs but a very good band and lots of dancing. Stayed out v late and am feeling quite smug this morning as have no hangover

Am loving that outfit Biteme

Truffers I had a dream once that I'd had a baybee but whenever I looked at it it turned into a cat......

I'm sorry I've not said anything lately - but I'm reading and crossing my fingers for all of you.

Me too [quadruplegin]

Shiney am of your Ian brown gig but glad you're in the party spirit. 7 more sleeps until Santa has been!

Hi Pone and Salad nice to know you are checking up on us. My temp has fallen slightly in past few days although still above cover line so who knows? Well, we all will in a weeks' time...

We didn't make it back to Brum as the snow meant we couldn't safely drive out of our locality. I had an appointment nearby this morning and had to walk home as the bus couldn't make it down the hill, it was skidding everywhere. Needless to say, after 45 minutes walking in the heavy snow I looked like a human snow person. TGB laughed when I got home. I was not amused!

Nasty droid has fucked off - nasty but blissfully short.

I haff been quite busy with Christmas stuff so am going to be a bit sporadic but I do luffs you all muchly (ok to be smushy as it's the season )

boo that means OV should be perfectly timed for some NYE drunken shagging, which is sure to produce a diffment. Tis the law of BESH.

Truff, wise move. It does not look good out there. Fingers crossed you get good news a week tomorrow AFTER you have indulged in muchos Xmas cheer (btw fyi booze can not harm your baby until you actually know you are diffed. FACT)

I am hoping the snow sticks around for Mon/Tues so I have an excuse not to go into work. Then it will magically disappear so I can go in Wed for my last day (and collect my present (and my Mothercare order)) and then drive to Brum for festivities the following day.

Dunno Rocks I always get so twatted I'm not sure we'll manage it. I say we, he is such a lightweight these days that I may be up for it but he'll be asleep... :o

Oooh Rocket, does that mean if I just never test I can maintain my wine addiction habit? What? No?

Am getting a little teary eyed at the Strictly final. Surely a symptom non?

Nah Truffs I got teary too and I am certainly not diffed (unless I AM and that mega droid was just a bit of impantation bleeding )

Truffs do you live in the Midlands?

I love my typo

Damn! Am seriously lacking in symptoms so was doing some clutching.

I live in that there London town, but am originally a Midlander. Brum to be more specific. Well, just outside but you get my drift. I actually lived in Worcester for a couple of years when I worked in Hereford. I still visit when I can as have good friends and my god daughter there)

Sorry. Got a bit carried away.

I am from Brum - well just outside. And I am in Worcester and I might even know your friends - especially if they are ESHes!

I know it's very late but I am all alone. Husband and son are stuck at his Mum's and we are separated by snow. I did a lot of wrapping and watched Love Actually. I may have cried a little bit. I had two hot toddies so that's my excuse...

Saladleaf

I lay an egg between christmas eve and boxing day, not NYE (have a short cycle). So when belgianchoctruffles is POASing I will be doing t'deed. Hopefully.

So me little 'gyptians - who is 2woofling, who is post droidal with me and who is updiffed? I am confused and I need a list!

Oooh, Thanks med. At least I've got something to do while I sit around waiting for all the others to turn up...

Aries!
Truffs!
SunnyD!
BrownB!
Kat!
starrystarrymole!
Barbiesbeaver!
( HB!
Salty!
Lyra!)('cos you never know)

Where areeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?

Actually I say all that, and I'm buggering off to make some gingerbread (I'll dish it all out to the PESHes if you lot don't come back, I'm warning you!)

Hello Boobs. Nice to see you. Sorry I have been AWOL - I can think of literally nothing to say. Umm....I have the droidal blues though. It's an especially hurty one - bring on the ibuprofen. But I couldn't see that offer of gingerbread without diving in...nom nom nom. I know Ski is lurking nearby too.