Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

moley have a large gin and tonic and a whiskey chaser, purely for the rage you understand.

My single foray into AIBU in my v early and naive days on MN went something like this...

"AIBU for blaming MN that I burnt the jam"

I got the single solitary reply.

"YABU for making jam"

Speaking of which I have just over cooked the pasta BEYOND an inch of its life. Mushy pasta salad anyone?

owlet can't you get one of the peeps who know to have a quiet word with her? Get her off your back? They don't even have to say you said anything, just 'people have noticed you are making inappropriate personal remarks etc and think it should stop" etc. Put the HR wind up her. I suppose that sort of hangs on whether she has said anything in front pf other people tho < massive flaw in plan> Oh just twat her one.

Tis not me with the evil workmates, tis poor Bitey !

YANBU for making jam btw.

Starrystarrymole Channel teh Rage! Ring up BT! Or British Gas. Or the bank. Oh yes.

sorry nibblets for getting you confused with nocturalbirdfootware I am easily confounded these days.

Tis the preggers brain kicking in

haha kicked in ages ago (see petrol in diesel debacle) basically I am turning into a right fuckwit. spose i'd better get used to it. ( i am sooo milking this i work now I have told them all) :o

It's a slippery slope insalata, next thing you know you'll be offering nipple tweaks and tequila shots around on netmums.

Rage seems to have dissipated somewhat...what's going on? Am I becoming ginger?
Need some BESHly support in gaining some realistic perspective...I probably egg laid on the wrong side this month, and even if I didn't I had the sechs no less than 3 and a half days before I oved, and had drunk ALOT during time of egg preparation (see HV SIL) (is it me or do those abbreviations merge together to form the word EVIL)I am at least a stone heavier than when I conceived before, and have only been for two runs, (had just done 10km last time) so in summation there is No Way (or a very low realistic chance) I could have dropped any kind of dairy product receptacle. So please could you have a word with the mean hope demon who's currently taken up residence on my shoulder. Why do we do this to ourselves? Gahhhhhh!! (rage back)

Sorry for me me me- this was my way of telling you am expecting droid on Friday. Have so far had every imaginable symptom, every which one can be neatly explained away by facts.

Where's the fox? (and the other gin, haven't seen her around for ages) And head, I need her to come back so I can flirt my way onto t'other place with her..

Rocks Are you saving the news till the party on the 13th for the midlands contingent?

In other news, since my lasy post I have SWI. Or rather we have. So that'll me joining in the menkul this month (ooh I have a little frisson of excitement :D)

oh molesworth

yes boo am waiting til then. I am a bit gutted i couldn't go out with them last Sat as that would have been preferred timing. Was tempted by FB message but seems a shame when I'll be seeing them in 2 weeks. I might ring J and tell her before hand (see previous guilt re FC subterfuge last time we saw each other)

Sorry - I meant 20th - unless you're coming to the one this Sat as well? All these back to back 40ths!

Moliana It's not over till the fat lady sings the ballad of the droid...

Have broke Fred :(

sorry- BBB took computer under pretence of buying a new oven. One we've got works fine, just the door occasionally falls off. Now going to bed to watch series two of Wire which arrived today, and so excited have forgotton about demon. Sort of. See yous tomorrow
boo well done on the gettin jiggy- Hey perhaps we should have a hip hop type thread.
Does anyone know anything about hip hop?
Do I sound like my mother?
Laters bro's
A -ight (Wire stylee)

Enjoy :)

Have just worke out that if I were to be miraculously updiffed today then baybee would be due on my birthday. Oh dear God, two Leos in the house.

Boo I worked out if I win this cycle, bambino would be due on our wedding anniversary!

I have only just got over Lucas.

As you were.

So no romantic getaways for you Truffles and no drunken parties while the kids get babysat for me. I think that more or less guarantees a win for both of us this month then ;)

Ries I am in denial.

rocket I was amazed and astounded at how my brain power returned with days of laying the baby! I too had been a clumsy, gibbering idiot for the full 8 months. So nice to be "me" again!

I haz done the sechs. Will do more of the sechs. Am thinking timing is shit being as will be in Austria latter half of January for skiing and if my ms is any time like last time then I'll ski like a right ol' Norbert! On the other hand - mountain air might be exactly what is needed. Need to find hotel en route as will probably not want to do whole drive in one day. Although once drove back from Italy in a day - although that was BBF and BC (Before boyfriend & before child).

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1080159-in-thinking-that-lots-of-you-must-have-had-surprise-pregnancies-which-were-actually-secretly-deliberate

What the fucking fuck? Is that person a schoolchild? I hope she gets found out by her poor husband.*

I suspect it happens quite a lot, but tbh for me that would be on a par with shagging someone else "by accident" in the deceitfulness stakes. I've said before somewhere on here I reckon about 50% of the baybees I met on the ward were happy/not so happy accidents. Not unwanted but certainly not officially planned in advance.

I guess it takes all sorts.

She's run off, hasn't she? We've terrifed her with our boxing gloves and staring.

Also, whilst I am here; what the hell is the next fred going to be? I am jealous of the PESH deli. Maybe we could have the BESH patisserie (cream filled buns, anyone)? Sorry, that's the best I've got.

MiniG was a surprise pregnancy. It wasn't deliberate although ex-P thinks it was. It happened because both of us elected to take a silly risk. Joint responsibility if you ask me although he doesn't see it that way. When I told him I was pregnant I fully expected to be doing it on my own, but he has stepped up and although we didn't work out he is a good Dad to him. Ex-P could never move on past his supicion that it was what I wanted all along (it most certainly wasn't, not in those circumstances, we'd only been togetehr for a month) - I guess it is women like that who drive the suspicion.

However, there ARE a lot of men out there who string women along for years, wasting their fertility until it is too late. Not saying it is justified just that some men also bear a shameful moral burden and we should acknowledge that too. How many women would be choosing to have babies in their late 30's or 40's and having problems if there wasn't a man somewhere in their past dragging his feet? Some would certainly by choice but for many it wasn't their choice and now they are paying the price for some other man's selfishness. This stupid culture of ours where middle aged men still play on their X-boxes and go out with their friends as if they were teenagers and declare they are not "ready" for babies.

Blimey, not sure where all that came from

Morning Y'all! Please tuck in to these extra sour margheritas (sp?)as thanks for v helpful suggestions re: nosy bastard colleague. Feel much saner calmer today but am working at home which is helping!

aries is OK, we never saw the body did we?

boo the MN calculator has told me to expect a Leo if had a winner this month. Not to sure how I feel about two fire signs under one roof. I can feel a whole day's procrastination coming on while I consult mystic meg and her ilk about my imaginary baybee!

ginnyginfox where are you?

yes, anyway. A win this month would result in two leo's here too - me and baybee. Better propect than the one I lost where we would have had THREE taurus' under same roof driving me potty with their sensible, down to earth ways.

Lady I know what you mean actually and if FDH has continued living up to his foot dragging name sake I don't know how things would have gone for us. As it is we have agreed that I will keep egg white news and temp charting to myself but he must respond with alacrity when I tip him the wink. This seems to be working on the SWI intent front but I am sure he will express great surprise when we get a win! The x-box thing is so true isn't it? Grow up Peter Pans!