The First Time Frolickers visit 'The Three Follicles': The one where we all join The Christmas Club.

[MissFlick]

The Three Follicles is officially open for business!

Just to make sure we all become members of 'The Christmas Club' I've put something in the wine....

Thank you flick and garden - - I wish I could say I am feeling good but I am so NOT. Each day the onslaught of my non-communicative consultant come to mind and I feel helpless and depressed. I didn't expect my body to be this confusing. :( I feel like I'll never make it out of these lists... damn it just when did I get so attached to procreating on my own!

womanly the consultant just sounds terrible. I am confused and baffled by all the clomid stuff but am lucky enough that my consultant is v good at getting back to me very quickly (even if her manner isn't always that sensitive). I am so sorry you are having to go through all of this with rubbish and uncommunicative Dr; if there are any questions I can email to my consultant then do let me know, although I know what you really want to be told is what is going on with you personally.

I don't know what to suggest. The only thing that might be relevant that my consultant told me was that clomid can make multi / poly cystic ovaries do odd things at odd times simply because of the hormone surges. When I had my last scan, there were far fewer cysts on my right ovary than there had been before and she said it could be because some old ones had grown and burst (she said this was different to ovulation because there were no viable eggs left so the clomid might just have made them swell and pop without the resulting progesterone surge).

So maybe that was what they were picking up on your CD2 scan? You sound similar to me in that my LH / FSH levels were normal on CD3 so I don't think we are typical PCO people.

hey everyone
MrsW that is fab news :) so glad eveything is going well :)
ZIppys sorry about your BFN

Update on moi- had Ofsted today and I didnt get observed grrrrr got all worked up about it and it didnt happen, so I am top of their hit list tomoz when I have a 'bity' day due to harvest practice etc lol

On day 32 of cycle now and no sign of ERTD- threw away my early preg strips as became addicted lol so now got nothing so just going to see what happens, have pains so me thinks it shall come soon, probably late due to this Ofsted stress :(

xx

V quick post as going to try and get some quality time with DP tonight so apologies in advance for the lack of personal messages. Just wanted to say thanks for all the sympathy about the BFN. To be honest I'm more :( about the lack of FERTD just now than the BFN as even I can't convince myself I'm up the duff without having ovulated :)

Sorry to hear about the BFN zippys, I echo the comments of others before but won't repeat what you already know. Good luck to you whatever this cycle brings.

And good luck to those with signs garden, lanky, flick, everything but my legs crossed for you.

womanly sorry you're still having problems with the medical profession. Hoping everything works out for you soon.

As for me, I'm trying everything possible to bring on FERTD, went swimming in semi-revealing costume, wore a light coloured skirt to a family photo thing, eating all the things Emma Cannon reckons get the blood moving, have been taking agnus castus for nearly 30 days,... any other suggestions would be welcome!

And I'm with flick on the countdown, 2 more sleeps yay! Now I must see if drinking a bottle glass of wine brings on ERTD... In the interests of science of course :o

Evening ladies!

zippy so sorry to hear it was negative. Like everyone else I was thinking how much you deserve some good news after everything. Who knows, maybe you're still due some. Where there's no ERTD, there's hope.

garden I'm exhausted just reading about your SWI-a-thon. I may have to go lie down now. (No, not for that reason!)

I've heard about one of the jobs I interviewed for, and I didn't get it. Disappointing, but not too surprising as I know one of the other people who went for it, and he's got more experience than I have. Except that he didn't get it either. Still no news on the second job, but I've decided if they offer it to me I'm going to turn it down. Having been to their offices for the interview, I really don't think I'd be happy working there. Hey ho.

Oh zips sorry it was a negative, I know it's no consolation at the moment but don't give up,I had 2 negatives and an evap before my positives, and going by my dates etc so far it's a bloody miracle that I'm pregnant at all! Dates definitely don't tie in with when we did the deed!!
Basically what I'm saying is that it's not totally impossible for you still to get a positive in the next few days!x

Morning All,

Sorry for me, me, me but feeling like I might cry :( and need to get it all out asap.

Just bumped into gorgeous, best friend at the coffee shop at work an she raced over to me to tell me that she just got 2 positives on a pregnancy test. Whilst I am absolutely THRILLED for her I am at the same time very sad for me. The reason being that this is my friend who has been going through the same thing as me with irregular cycles, blood tests, scans etc and we have been helping each other through and bemoaning our crappy bodies and of course this gives me hope but I can't help thinking that we can't both be this lucky and if she is pregnant this cycle then I won't be :( How irrational I know. Like I said, I am thrilled for her but still :( It is a very nice story actually, she went to see my gynae 9 days ago who did a preg test and said negative and then scanned her and saw nothing. Yesterday she did a test because she was just so fed up of not having her period (it had been 7 weeks since the last one) and lo and behold a positive. Fell really bad for being upset for myself but just wanted to let it out here as Mr. F just doesn't get it. Now I have to pick myself up and go down and see her in my free period, in 15 mins and be all happy for her, which I am of course but still feel like why isn't it me? :(

Sorry girls for ranting, I'm just not sure I can get through this :( I see her EVERYDAY and everyday we talk about TTC and now she is pregnant and I'm not :(

Sorry, moaning me again- am really not doing a good job of coping today.

When I went down to see my friend she was so excited which made me feel even more terrible for feeling how I do. I then started to cry mainly because I was so happy for her and lovely husband. She was SO lovely and said she knew how I was feeling as she would feel the same if it was the other way round, I said 'no, no, It's not that, I'm just crying because I'm so happy for you and in a bit of shock'

Had to then go back and teach my class (who are being darlings as they know I was off sick yesterday) and had a hideous coughing fit in the middle of the lesson. You know the ones where you get a tickle in your throat and cough so much that you think you are going to be sick? Well that was how it was. Had to leave the room and came back with more tears (from coughing this time!) streaming don my face.

Went to find Mr. F at break time, just to hide really. Get to his area and he is in a meeting. I walk in and say 'Oh sorry, I didn't know you had a meeting' and promptly burst into tears again. God! So he leaves his meeting and ushers me outside where I just blurted out all of my selfish thoughts. He was totally bewildered as I hadn't even had the chance to tell him that out friend was pregnant. It was just a bit of a nightmare, standing in the stair well sobbing- not a good luck. Anyway, he didn't really understand although he tried bless him.
I walked over to my area, managing to avoid seeing anyone and bumped into a colleague just as I was going into the loo who of course could tell I had been crying. I had to make up a crap excuse about coughing so much that it had made my eyes water which I guess is partly true!

It is so obvious that I have been crying, red, swollen eyes and blotchy skin and now I have the joy of teaching 4 more periods,a lunchtime meeting and an after school meeting. I am also meant to be going to book club tonight with my friend... I think I might cancel as I don't know if I can face sitting around being cheerful and gossiping when all I want to be doing is lying on the sofa and having a good old wallow in my self pity :(

So sorry for monopolizing the thread- I just hope that by getting it all off my chest it will help me get over this more quickly and you are the only people who will understand as men just don't get it and I would normally tell my lovely friend how I feel but this time I can't because it's about her.

If you have managed to read this far you deserve a medal- Thank you, have a ! xxxxxx

Oh MissFlick (((hugs))) for you. I'm so sorry that you're upset. I totally understand why and it is completely rational so please don't feel bad.
Your friend sounds very understanding, perhaps you could talk to her and say whilst you are over the moon for her, there is a tiny pang of jealousy. I'm sure she will understand as she has been so supportive so far.

I really wish I could give you a cuddle, as well as a large glass of wine and box of chocolates.

I have to go now as I have an early morning meeting but I am sure other Frolickers will be along soon to support you, and I'll do my best to check in later this morning.

Oh flick what can I say but that we have all been there and big hugs. Sometime hearing someone elses news just triggers off all the frustration thats been building up. I think some peoples pregnancies affect me more than others, I know someone who is pregnant at the moment and I don't know why but I just find it so hard. She is very good friends with my sister so I get a blow by blow account from her and then facebook updates. It just makes you realise how non pregnant you are doesn't it! It will be our turn soon xxx

Thank you lovely cavey and florin- I think you hit the nail on the head florin when you said that hearing someone else's news triggers off all of the frustration that's been building up. I have heard other people's news and been a bit 'why isn't it me?' but have never felt anything to this scale :(

Mr. Flick had just emailed me this;

'This was never going to be easy. This is the first big challenge you've had and it's going to be tough.We need to stick together, ride out the hard times and stay positive. Let's not worry or compare to any one else. This is our journey and we will see it throughxx ;-)'

Which of course made me cry a bit more as did your posts florin and cave. I am a blubbering wreck today- I just need to get home and write the day off I think. Have emailed the book club girls and said I was still feeling rough and would let them know how I was later on so will see how I feel.

Sorry again for being such a drama queen xxxx

Flick hugs for you, hope you've managed to get through the rest of your day and are okay. Sometimes it all gets too much and if I were you I think I'd be exactly the same. Can't post more as at work but just know we're here for you.

xxx

Oh Flick my love ((((hugs)))) for you. It's understandably hard for you in such a conflicting way. It sounds like your friend 'gets' it though so you can hopefully tell her if you need radio silence on the pg news while it sinks in. Mr F sounds like he's being an angel too so let him look after you when you get home.

For a potential silver lining, if you do get your BFP this month (and you know there's no such thing as a quota so it could still happen for you!) then you'll be pg together, which would be ace

Hope you're hanging in there sweets and remember were here for you so offload whenever you need to.

Oh god - wish I wasn't so busy but just wanted to send you a huge hug flick - have just skimmed your post and can totally imagine how you are feeling.

I will be back to post tonight when home but just remember it WILL be your turn one day - by hook or by crook as MyLanky tells me!

xxx

flick such a lovely message from your dh. Made me well up, at least he knows how you feel. Good to work through it together. With the girl I mentioned that I found very hard when she announced she was pregnant, we will be bumping into her a lot over Christmas so dh helped work out how we can avoid her as much as possible. It feels so much better when you feel you are tackling it as a team.
I am off up to Yorkshire as there is a village that is turned into 1943 my parents have been before and it is meant to be a good laugh. Got to be dressed up all weekend in wartime clothes so should be interesting! Also going to tell my parents about ttc problems, not sure how to bring it up though. Think we have got to the point where we could do with the support and think they would be upset if they thought we were going though it on own

Oh Flick , I can?t even imagine how torn you must feel. You probably need a good cry and a wallow then hopefully you?ll be able to deal with your feelings had an mc 7 years ago and not long after SiL declared she was pg and it was the first child in the family so everyone was so pleased and there I was in pieces sobbing my heart out outside the hospital virtually screaming at DH that it should have been us! I didn?t even want kids at that stage and the mc was a big surprise. It is so unbelievably hard but you will get there. You never know, you might get a BFP soon and then you can be pg together and forget all about this horrible situation.

Oh MissFlick I am so sorry you are having a rubbish time. It's so hard when it's your TTC buddy that's pg. I completely echo everyone else about just because she's pg, doesn't mean you won't be but I know it's not much help.

Don't be too hard on yourself though lovely, the TTC journey is such an emotionally draining and demanding one, we are all bound to need to have a good cry and a rant every now and again. And that's what we're all here for!

Your DH sounds like a real star so I hope you are able to let him be strong for both of you for a while so you can just take care of yourself a bit.

Big hugs for you - will post more later when I am not at work xxxxx

FLick I'm sorry you're not having a good time of it, I'm glad your DH was there for you. He sounds like a lovely guy. I hope you get your BFP soon though, I've been routing for you for ages. ((((flick))))))

Zippys I'm sorry about your BFP.

Thanks so much all of you lovely things. You have all helped me cheer up- am home from work and already lying on the sofa in my Pj's.

josie so sorry to hear about your mc :( That must have been so tough to deal with and here I am wittering on.

florin the village sounds fun! I think you will feel like it is a weight that has been lifted once you tell your parents. Did you say that your twin had PCOS? If so, does she have children? Sorry if you have said before.

Again, thank you all for letting me rant. What would we do without this place? I heart The Frolickers xxxx

Cross-post hermya. Thank you honey, just popping over to the grads to see how you're getting on xxx

Oh Flick you're not wittering on. TTC stirs up all sorts of emotions people who aren't TTC couldn't possibly begin to imagine and it's difficult no matter what your situation. Glad you're home and cheered up slightly. It will be hard but next time you see your friend you will hopefully be able to talk to her without feeling so torn x

Oh Flick, don't beat yourself up over the way you feel. I totally understand that feeling of "she had all the luck so I won't get any". Just keep telling yourself (as I keep telling myself) that you're on the conveyor belt now and you aren't getting off until you have a baby. There WILL be an end in sight one day, but it's the not knowing WHEN which is torture for impatient and/or control freak types... like me

What a lovely supportive husband you have.

Forgot to mention - have officially started charting this morning! Took my temp, 36.81, which means nothin to me and if I've done my lessons on FF properly, it won't mean anything until I have a few temps on and can see a pattern It looks quite low to me though, wonder if maybe my temps are dropping because ERTD is due tomorrow .

Anyway, just thought I would share

Poor Flick. What a rollercoaster it all is. Being very happy for someone can't stop you being really saddened that it's not you. You almost feel like you've lost someone. And it's extra hard because you've been feeling so poorly. Chin up chicken.

Josie just thought I'd add that even after almost a month of charting I don't know what a 'normal' temp is (although my chart looks good!) and my resting temps before ov were around the 35 mark so even lower than you are reporting. My increased temps after oving are around 36.1 - 36.5 so I don't think there is a 'normal' for resting temps within several degrees.

Apologies to everyone else for that science bit then. Josie, come over to charters anonymous and introduce yourself, I've found the ladies on that thread most helpful.