Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

haha get you lot all hoity-toity about your superior educations and yet can't get enough of "Strictly X-factor's Biggest Talent"!

You lot are making me need a cat. :( My last cat was adopted and he left me after 4 years when I brought the Jackapoo home. He didn't mind my Pitbull, had no problems with my South African mastiff - but one look at the Jackapoo and he was off. :( He moved across the road to live with a family who had a lab and a toddler - although if I went on holiday he'd always come by the back door within 20 minutes of me getting home which I thought was sweet.

No cats for a while though as we live in a flat and I'm not happy at all about having a house cat.

salty Interesting symptom there. I got a very sore pain on the left under my natural waistline exactly 7 days before I tested... Just sayin'. I thought thought it was because my jodhpurs were too small...

Banger You need to up your game missus - busy schedules isn't a good enough excuse - are you expecting this sex to be satisfactory? Everyone knows that baybees aren't won like that. You need to climb on board and make sure he knows that his job is to apply juice. If you can't work on that request he leave a pot in the fridge. Seriously, what've you to lose except another month? No sexee, no baybee. Fumble in a pub toilet somewhere? Nice story for the grandkids etc.

"superior education"? A Welsh comp?

I will say no more.

You lot crack me up! You're all nuts I tell you

Loving the photos owlie and LGG!

Headcase fantastic news on the 20 pages left. Must be a nice feeling. Pants to the busy work schedule though.

I personally haven't seen said TV programmes as I am luddite so can't join in, but am amused by your accounts of events (am joking about being a luddite, but was ahem, busy, last night trying to do the sechs so no TV watching for me).

Also came across more feline ridiculing here

Morning Orcs. Doing teh sechs, hmm? Us too. Ours didn't tske very long though, ahem.

So Ponyclub, what did you do with a Pitbull and a Mastiff in the flat if can't fit a cat?

So still waiting for an egg, 4 weeks now since bleeding started. Do you ever put temps into FF just to see where your temp needs to be for next couple of days to confirm ovulation? No? Just me then.

I don't like cats. They make me sneeze. My parents cat is an arrogant sod. That said I'd never dress one up . However, the dog has been known to be plonked on a sunbed in oversized shades & sun hat for pure entertainment.

Thanks to the constant nausea I'm now sporting travel sickness bands. I look like a break dancer circa 1982.

She'salady - no didn't take us long either, was more the fact both of us knew it needed to be done, but faffed around as neither of us were really that bothered about it!! I recoil in horror at the thought it might take an entire evening to come to the 'happy conclusion' as HB nicely worded it once. I am not THAT dedicated to the cause

Lozza I'm sure you sport the travel sickness bands delightfully...

Monring all, ariesgirl that snog on spooks last night got me extremely hot under the jerkin (is that what pirates wear have no idea - lucas is lush despite overly pointy nose. Toilet talk big theme in our house too, FDH has colitis nuff said. Am going to -spend an hour or so looking at comedy cat pictures- get on with my work now

Oooo Bitey Mr B had severe ulcerative colitis too.

Sorry for the pukiness, Rockets, Lorry and scorps. Tis good in a horrid way?

.

BangersNMash 20 pages you say? Bloody marvellous. I hope you have some celebrations lined up for the conclusion of your epic task.

Who's doing the next fred then?

Har Alpine, nothing would make me happier than conceiving through a knee-trembler in an alleyway somewhere - it appeals to pretty much every part of my soul . But alas, the OM is one of those ghastly men for whom sex has to 'mean something' and be all nice and romantical puke puke puke, and also, he is on 12 hour shifts, and if there is one job where you can't really be caught on duty fucking a big-breasted blonde in a public lav in Soho, it's probably his!

The 20 pages are printed out and masquerading as legal papers, to be scribbled over at work

Sorry for the pukiness Rocket. However, I rather think that;s what comes of tempting the Gods . Have you tried rystallised ginger?

?! How apt, as typos go!

Rie - I went to a shit comp too. AND in a mining area when the Miner's Strike was in full flow; that was a barrel of laughs (at least it cemented my lefty leanings). 'Superior' ain't exactly the right word for my schooling, either. I was one of only 4 people in my year who went to Uni! Over a quarter of my year left without doing any GSCEs.

HB, ginger is what triggered my most majestic spew yesterday Think my body delights in being different

Oh magic. Have shamelessly got This Morning on in the background (ok, fairly shamefully), and Dr Chris Steele is discussing breast cancer risks and named having your first child over 30 as one. Give us a fucking break, sheesh!

Poor sicky Score . I hope it stops soon. The thought of all the nausea is enough to put me off TTCing...

I went to a girl's grammar school where we wore blazers and had to stand up for the teachers, and sang Lord of All Hopefulness in the school assembley. The day we left we (and by that I mean 'I' ) made a vast banner saying ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE and hung it across the school (looking back, quoting Dante isn't the most iconoclastic effort of my teens ). We also hung tartan pants from the school flagpole (the headmistress was Scottish) and, at lunchtime, lined the pavements by the traffic lights and simultaneously flashed the passing traffic. Also, someone shat on the hockey pitch. Also, we drove all our cars in convoy onto the prized school fields and screeched round and round in circles, doing wheel spins on the prized sports fields and trailing miles of loo roll from the windows, leaning on the horns and singing "Never Forget"(whilst the fifth formers were sitting their French oral exams, I seem to recall). Also, the yearbook for our departing year was so inflammatory the school hired legal representation and all copies had to be destroyed (although I do believe the odd one remains, fondly wrapped in a school shirt in a shoebox under the bed etc. etc.).

I have no idea what the point of any of that bit of reminiscence was, other than to wish I was 17 again . Never been so happy, before or since...

Scorpette - I some times feel like eveything is a breast cancer risk, I get an email at least once a week warning of the dangers of plastic bottles or lipstick or deodorant. I think it all part of the "scaring women so they are to busy worrying to take over the world" conspiracy or at least I do in my more paranoid moments! Nice of him to jump on the BESH bashing band wagon though.

SindysOtter UC is horrible isn't it? When you say Mr B had it does that mean he is now better? ie is there hope?

PS What is this WOOFLING?

2WOOFL - 2 weeks of obsessive fucking lunacy (ie the post-luteal phase), coined by the genius that is ginhag

Bitey not sure you want to hear this but Mr B has no colon anymore = hence no colitis. It was misdiagnosed and he had it so badly they couldn't save it so they made a fancy new load of innards out of his small intestine. Obviously your chap knows what he has and will be monitored/on drugs to control it.

There is some research on stuff that alleviate his condition though, I'll PM you when I remember what stuff he's tried recently.

oooo I just came to say a quick hello whilst stuffing the entire contents of a cafe in my gob having an elegant lunchbreak, and I am greeted by words of loveliness! How nice!

STFU re breast cancer risk though my darling beshies as I am already high risk and would prefer to ignore all the rest of it ta :)

Apologies for being all fluffy n shiz, I spoke to extreme this morning so I have the warm fuzzies.

WELL DONE head!!!!

I'm not really keeping up at all. Have SO MUCH TO DO!!!!!

Ahhh! Gin sound like she is glowing! Ahem, still a double hard bastard and all that of course.

Lips zipped on the verboten issue, gin (sorry for mentioning it - forgot)

Yay for 'Streme! It's impossible to not get the warm fuzzies from that lil' treasure

nah tis alright scorps am just happy with denial :)

rubberlips (see what I did there??) I do actually seem to be less crap at being pregnant this time. 'Glowing' may be taking it too far...

also, reading back thru my post I apologised for being 'fluffy' after telling everyone to STFU. Which is a very fluffy statement obviously.

How are you anyway? I think you are being impressively tough about the whole bidznizz, and if you want to have a good wallow and wail you can snot on my shoulder anytime.

I have to go and have a (work related) argument with someone in a minute. And then tomorrow I have to do battle with the consultant as I want a home birth and he's not gonna like it. I don't actually like arguing etc at all, so none of this is fun.

And 20 week (well 19 and a bit) scan tomorrow. Am of course shitting it, but sort of excited as well (of course)

Will actually be at the hospital at same time as extreme. Which is kind of special

Ooooh, good luck for tomorrow! Do you think you'll actually see Morethanwords when you're there? And are you going to find out the flavour or leave it as a surprise?

will find out if I can... am fairly convinced that babies are surprising enough whether you know the sex in advance or not :) Plus mooch is convinced its a girl so would rather he was not totally confused if it isn't!

Don't think I'll see her. Will feeeeeeeel her though

20 weeks?! Good lord GinstersPasty how did it get to be that far along? I used to live in Bristol you know, for quite some time actually. Will you be in the 'Mead tomorrow then? I used to have breakfast in their canteen sometimes, god knows why. I can pop round and threaten your consultant if you like, by peering through the window/door glass in a menacing fashion.

Ginsters! Can't believe you are 20 wks already. Where is the time going? Good luck with the consultant. I am total denial that I will be laying a baybee in about 11 weeks and have about 4 weekends free between now and then. La la la

Oooh, scantime for gin! Mine is next week. Am dithering again over whether to find out the sex. Definitely wasn't going to. But am now on my 4th nephew (tiny nephew arrived 8 weeks early yesterday) and thinking it would be good to know in advance whether we'll make it a full house, or just 2 pairs.

Would be nice to control my ma as well, who keeps wittering on about girls and pissing me off.