Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

in fact, could you register as self-employed freelance writer?

I do like this place. I love the fact that people can say what they feel and no one goes mental. Mush respeck for you all.

Scorparooma your ex-boss sounds ... well ... crap. She 'burnt' all her paper work'?! That's just weird.

jumptheelf I get that too - it hurts when I take off my bra (but that might be 'cos they're ginormous bazookas :)) I heard it's to do with progesterone levels rising after ov to help with the baking process - it fucking hurts!

rucolina I didn't get ANY morning sickness with the pinkfluffyone so it's all bollocks. You either get it, or you don't.

Oh ffs, those words of wisdom on sore tits were actually for salineaura just in case humpthefaerie was wondering what I was on about.
I'll go now .

Hadn't thought about CAB, cheers, RocketBalboa. And on the sickness thing again - I've had digestive problems all my life, so I guess I was mad to think nausea wouldn't be a major prob for me. As gin wisely says, not everyone fits the mould, symptom-wise. Oh, and the nausea often kicks in at week 6 (mine did) or 7, so you might have all this fun to look forward to anyway

I go through phases of having agonising bazookas as well, that hurt when I take my bra off. This can be as much to week before droid appears. Mine can on no planet whatsoever, not even in Lilliput, be described as massive which I have always found very unfair The last few months have been much better though, maybe because of the Starflower oil.

Agirl I might be exaggerating just a little. I'm sure yours are lovely and pert.

Oooh, good idea, Medee! Now I can have a legitimate reason to slob around in my pjs half the day! Am going to look into that, cheers

(Oh, who am I kidding - all day!)

AlyssaMilano, yes, she is a little 'different', that's fo sho. Her cats sleep in baby beds, for a start... She brings new meaning to the term 'dysfunctional'. And yet she is a lovely, loyal, hilarious, kind person (just crap at business!).

I love that one who carefully nurtures sanpro casts aspersions on the very sensible practice of putting her pussy in a cradle...
scoredaboc am sorry that you is feeling poo, and money and shiz, would you consider selling chlotilde- i believe there is a niche market that specialises in sanitary protection child substitues. WIll be gentle in your delicate state, and just poke you a bit.

May I just reference that 'the second thing I ever crocheted was a beaver' is the best thing I ever read.

Well, are you ready for some OlD SKool 2WOOFL?? AM almost dizzy with the thrill of my first menkalling on Besh territory. You'll be delighted to hear that at 1 DPO I have already established that :
my wee smells funny = diffed,
i went to the loo twice in x factor=diffed
BBB (big bald bloke) is really annoying=diffed.
Am wondering if the MAD could have a subtitle incorporating the hirsuititude of most contenders this month- am thinking an armpit (or two) full of hair each must surely cause some kind of cosmic shift that will win for us all. Powered by static electricity?

Goodnight, I'm going to lurkoutside ariel's window in hope of copping an eyeful bed. bis morgen

barbie I get that totally. As LadyG will currently be discovering as she reads everything on the internet every written about the subject - apparently we are "more fertile" after a mc. Nice way to put double extra super pressure on yourself. Oh, and you feel like total shit if you fail to get a pass from the stick. :( But you have people excitedly squeal "oh your body is so much more receptive to getting diffed immediately after". Yeh well. I went camping. Should've fucking known innit.

Aries Pls to provide photos of said boobage for verification purposes?

starnose Your pee smells funny? Am I the only BESH never to have peed in to a cup to sniff?

Aries I am massively in awe of you - I think anyone who can get off their backside, stop whinging and start their own business is amazing!

ItalianMama wish I had ginormous bazookas. They sound like fun. Can you balance a pint on top of them?

What's that you say scorps? Putting cats to sleep in baby beds ha ha what a nutter .... I'm sure the CAB can help, they are very knowledgable about such stuff.

WhizzBangRockets I can also attest that sickness is not correlated to how diffedness is going. Please don't worry

ClimbAboardMavisCruet I've got my appointment with my big consultant bloke on 29th November so can I be your FC buddy? And no one on here is condescending, that's why I like hanging out with you all.

Glad I could help :)

babsflange mmm, quavers, I am ok honestly, was just illustrating how things that are said to make people feel better can have the opposite effect on someone else.

Bazookas are annoying. They get in the way and you can't run without them hurting (unless you are wearing a bra that looks like it was a designed by NASA for sling shooting rockets to the moon) They make loads of fashionable stuff look stupid. Ok so the boys like them but who ever cared what they thought? :o

Hey, I had to dress my cat in a babygrow when he went through a phase of self harming to stop him getting at the wound whilst it healed. He was mighty peeved I can tell you. Especially as it was worn with an enormous collar but facing backwards to stop him biting. If looks could kill...

Rocket meant to say sorry for making you feel paranoid rE: the sickness. For what it's worth you're a few weeks behind corps anyway and it will prob hit with a vengeance in few weeks and as others have mentioned some people never get it at all.

MountainousEquine Yes, am fully expecting an instadiff as my soil is tilled and ready. No pressure. If only I would lay a frigging egg. am like an eggbound chicken at the moment eager to get on and sit on my nest and be broody.

Behind Scorps FAIL

Lady G you have made me cry at my desk with the mental imagery of angry cat in a baby grow! Monday morning much better now!

rocketleaf is so right on the large scale boobage problem - my sports bra has been tested by the australian institute for bounce a fact that renders it it undescribably sexy to FDH although in reality it has more scaffolding and girders than the forth bridge.

Am very excited as friends have lent us their seaside holiday home next weekend (apparently a fertile time according to the ovulation calculator) may have to apply for shore leave to get a waxing to encourage FDH in climbing my rigging! Want to join starnose in the menkall!

Cat in a babygrow???????? Hilarious! If I tried that with my animal, I would lose a few digits.

Ski my bazookas are my own business . However, I may have been the first person ever to make you simper, so for that I am justly proud.

Lovely day today. I might go for another heart yomp. Obviously we're very busy at the own business at the moment.

Can't imagine being able to get our cat into a baby grow either, or be able to find one big enough. :o He had to wear one of those collars once as he managed to lose the skin of the end of his tail. Unfortunately the collar was too small so the only part of him he could still lick was his injury. He was WELL pissed off, we had to take it off him in the end as it was pointless and just made him miz.

I actually feel quite sick today but that might just be normal as I often feel a bit bilious. I don't want to go to work.

I didn't put his back legs in. The injury on his shoulder so I tied the back legs at the waist. Imagine the cropped t-shirts, tied at the waist as worn by gay Americans in the 1980's but with a big Elizabethan ruff and you'll get the look.

For context he is a very large fluffy chocolate brown cat. Dignified and majestic even with grand white whiskers and white bib and paws. Inclined to pomposity. Thankfully non-aggressive.

Then imagine him in the camp clubbing combo (was pink too). And I kept him in and made him piss and shit in a litter tray which he finds unspeakably embarrassing at best of times.

And imagine my other cat who is small, black and like a naughty teenager who thought it was hilarious to run up to him, paw him on the nose and run away.

I felt bad for weeks.

LadyGaGa the way you are joyfully retelling the demise of your cat's dignity and the fact you put him in a pink babygrow simply highlights the fact that you didn't feel bad at all and you loved every minute of it. I approve. snigger
(I particularly like "the big eye of a frog is attached" and "please observe the leg fin wound around a head").

Aw man catprin is amazing! Anne of green gables is my favourite :o

Why is the sailor collar "suitable for middle class persons". Hilarious.

Did you cat look like this, GaGA?

LadyGG, I agree with BB. Clearly you didn't feel bad ! The same way as I don't feel bad when I laugh my head off at my cat when she sits looking at me with her tongue unknowingly sticking out. Or when she's lying on a chair in the sun and stretches all contented, but then falls off the chair. Or flees inside because a gull swoops overhead. Cats are idiots!

I entered this thread at LadyG's description of tormenting her pussy and it took a while to realise she wasn't talking about a) a grown man or b) a helpless child.

Am v. and equally re. Score's bosstwatfriend. Also, rather aghast. I did not know adults behaved thus. Indulging one's fits of pique are one thing; endangering a supposed friend's financial security is quite another...

well, our campaign began this morning. The CBFM went from 2 bars yesterday to 3 this morning with little warning, meaning I'm ovulating 3 days earlier than last month. Go figure! Post SWI I then went to the gym and had a sauna, thus almost certainly shaking out 90% of the spermicles and cooking the remaining few . The OM is now on nights and our paths will barely cross, so I think this months is unlikely to be a winner. Tant pis!

BB, hope you're all right duckie

Roundhouse kicks to all others. No idea what the fuck a roundhouse kick is, mind...