Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

'Baby Gays'??? why? why were they called that?

And what are they for because you aren't meant to put them in your ear (never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear is what my ENT nurse mother told me).

JumpingJackFlash yes, there was indeed a win.

Wooohooooooo. Sorry for the belated woooohooo, but star jumps for Salad. I iz so happy. And I may have to emphasise that the two ladies that went with me to the FC appointmet got diffed soon after, which of course means I bring luck. Who wants to join me on December 1st? If no one, I assume I will be winning on my own.

I'll get back to my Merlot and what's left of a weekend now.

Can I come, can I..purleeeeeeeaaaseeeee...

Could I ask a question without risking any comments about menkuling? Why is it that buzzwams get so freaking sore between ovulation and the droid? Is it the progesterone? I'm genuinely interested....

Thanks jumpie i am jealous of the Merlot. Gagging for a glass of red and now TB is "of the hook" he's back on it :o

I can't get it because, without going into detail, shiteous Boss'friend' didn't do proper paperwork, despite telling us she had done and has actually burnt all her paperwork, rather than deal with it, as she was 'so upset' about the business folding so there's no actual proof that any of us worked there for at least the last year of trading! I have wage slips, but she was running them off her computer, which we didn't realise, and they're not enough proof I worked (as they weren't properly put through an accountant, etc.)! Meanwhile, because I DID work, and that's now registered with the benefit peeps (as they accept much less proof you've worked - they'll take any scrap of evidence to deny you cash, after all!), it means I worked slightly too much to receive Employment and Support Allowance (the lowliest form of preggo cash)!!! Am currently challenging this - starting early, as I know how they can drag their heels. Boss'friend' doesn't know I'm pg, but I could bloody throttle her! I didn't work illegally, but proving all the facts, etc., is going to be nigh on impossible

Sorry, bloody refresh-fail! Above is answer to Medee about Maternity Allowance.

Did you have regular payments into an account from boss "friend"?? Would that be any use? Did you pay tax on your earnings? If it was PAYE you might be able to get HMRC to prove you had taxable earnings?

although I might be talking out of my arse, I suppose.....

Yeah, didn't ya' man have similar ishoos to mine, Rockette? Like no white goods and stuffs? Not feeling sorry for you re. wine .

Salted no idea about buzzwams, but if you come closer I'll inspect yours and give you a diagnosis.

X factor is making me cry.

It happens every year.

I cry at the ones who get picked, rather than the rejected people. Why is that??

Salty, I don't want to go into any further details but, sadly, none of what you suggest is applicable!

I'll badtemper the buggers into sorting me some cash out, mark my words!

PS Boss 'friend' totally fucked around a colleague over her maternity pay, which I've only just found out about, due purely to uselessness. Aaaargh!

oh bugger it scorps I'm sorry. It will all work out my dear, these things have a way of doing so

Kin ell scorps thats shit! And she's bloody mad as there is no guarantee that HMRC wont want to see her booked even if the business folded. That just crazy behavior, and very very irresponsible of her :( HMRC might be able to help you as salty suggested.

hopon yep, TB's first SA was low although not disastrous, unfortunately we don't know if they improved as we were going to find out last week, which obviously we cancelled. I did ring up and ask for a copy but was told I wouldn't understand the results and might be able to get a copy if I paid for it The consultants secretary did say she would ask him to include the usual vague 'normal' 'lowish' 'disastrous' in the letter of congratulations she was sure he would want to write me. What's the score with yours? Is MrLeg going back for more JIAP before Dec 1st?

ah shite, sorry x post :(

Ok, I haven't been posting much lately and am struggling to keep up but wanted to pop in and a) give dollyflange a massive smooch and b) offer some reassurance to pocketrocket if tis required?

Smooches, headbutts, tequila etc.

Rockin'Robin, shit, yep. Also, if I get her bollocked by HMRC, it'll be a nightmare as about 95% of my RL friends who live nearby are mutual friends! They would take 'her side', I'm sure of that. A lot of them work in local shops and businesses and it'd make just going around town awkward if there were hard feelings! She's very temperamental (not that you'd get that impression from my descriptions!). So I'll have to find a way to deal with HMRC and her that won't get her fucked up (and make me a social pariah!)...

That last line was usual greeting/general affection rather than the proffered reassurance rocket

Ahem. Scorpalicious m'dear, speaking as a fellow small business owner/employer, I'm pretty sure you don't have to go through an accountant to have verified pay slips. We pay HMRC our employee's NC and tax contributions and because we only have one, paying an accountant or purchasing a program such as Sage would be bonkers. We issue our own payslips. Check that v carefully, because if you have been on her records, then you will be Known To Them and therefore they should be able to to help. What does Ginsters, fellow entrepreneur, think? By the way Gin have an affectionate punch on the nose. Great to see you love!

I have had a very lovely day. SWI followed by fabulouso coastal yomps followed by roast dinner and vino. Snot is almost gone too. Aaaaaaaah.

Sindydoll tis good you feel you can be honest. This is best thing about Le Palais , and as Scorps said, occasionally we are all bound to say something someone else finds difficult, so it's good to speak up. Hope you're having a good weekend despite that?

Rocketleaf I know what you mean about the sickness and being re-assured that you have lots of hormones flying around. However, it's still early days for you and you may well find that you are 'blessed' with the sickness shortly , although I'm not wishing it on you! I don't think mine kicked in until about week 7/8. I understand the menkul associated with every aspect of PG but try to enjoy it.

Not much to report here. Am bored with TTFC and am looking forward to the 2nd Nov when we might get help with the whole business. It's coming up to SWI time and I'm dreading it. I need to follow Rie's lead and de-fuzz etc but can't be arsed! Surely hairy legs, grey pants etc are a turn on?

That is good to know, Rie, except that in the last year, I didn't earn enough to be taxed and neither did anyone else (lot of staff; hours shared around). And she's BURNT all her bloody paper records, the idiot! I can see me chasing her and her never doing anything except slagging me off to all our mutual friends (which is, apparently, what she did to the woman with the maternity pay - wish I'd known this at the time ). I think she's going to end up getting bollocked by the HMRC

I think she is too. However she must have produced the paper records on something - were they printed or written? I think it would be a small price to pay (getting slagged off) if it means you get what you can. Though there is the matter of getting a future reference of course .

Whenisit - I didn't de-fuzz in the end. Didn't seem to matter. That's it now until the end of May next year. I think grey pants and hairy legs are definitely a turn on, and also hairy pits and warm pyjamas.

that is very frustrating, Scorp.

gin you mean i don't get ALL the smooches, headbutts and tequila to myself?

scropy sounds very tricky situation, have you been to the CAB? They can be helpful sometimes in letting you know your rights and navigating the quite frankly incomprehensible benefit system. I can see why you don't want to piss her off as she sounds a little volatile but surely once you are able to announce your diffment you might be able to put a little bit of guilt trip pressure on her? Sorry if you have already thought of all this and its of no help.

when 2 words, Mood Lighting, failing that go full kinky with Bling Fold :o

I think there's plenty for everyone rocket. As I am an affectionate, violent drunk :)

I do have lots of experience of sickness/not sickness, and babyfail/pass... And can assertively say that they don't always match up in the obvious way symptom-wise.

Oh and thanks for the punch Aries Here, let me drop this anvil on your toe. Nice to see you too luvver.