Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

It's getting exponentially longer per thread, the time we've been TTC. Two freds ago, it was since the 1950s and now it's since the Black Death!!!! What will it be next time? Since the Dark Ages? Oooh, good theme: an Arthurian one! Or maybe not - rather too full of men and I can only think of one woman and one witch....

Ahoy me hearties, I'm back from me adventures and lubbin the new fred. I has my wooden leg and parrot so am well in character innit?

So, after all my professing of zen-ness I am well and truly 2WOOFLing at 4DPO and in the context of muchos secks in the lead up so . I'm fairly sure it's too soon for my queasyness, lower back ache and pervasive tiredness to be genuine symptoms but that has not stopped the menkulling so far. Bring it on.

LadyG sending Davey Jones style strength to you for tomorrow. In the past I've tried both telling people (pros: they knew enough to leave me to the odd cry for the first week or so back; cons: they knew enough to ask me 'are you ok' in that head to one side way, which usually caused the random bouts of office weeping) and telling them it was something else a bug / flu / undiagnosed virus.... so cannot recommend either way for you, just do what feels right and look after yourself.

Sorry to all for mass droidage, am hoping the cannons and flaming rum bottles keep him away this month. AM keeping everything crossed for RieRie this month too, start of the MAD.....

Arrrrr me BESHies. Nice Fred dollmuff

LadyGG I had a wisdon tooth infection and extraction for a cover story. people will believe what you tell them, and it was better than the alternative, although the 'did it come out alright' comments got a little trying.....

Ahem, RIE!!!!!!! I think you know what to do lady....

Trufflehunter my dear, nice to see you...nice going on the muchos SECS..I will be keeping an eye on you I surely will.

I have to have SECS on Friday and Saturday. And preferably Thursday too, but I've go on too much already about the problems with midweekers....

When I went back after 3 weeks off for the ectopic I just didn't say anything. Nobody asked what was wrong. I think because my line manager hadn't said they all realised it must be Something Serious. So I got generic well wishes but no interrogation.

Ok so they probably all thought I'd had a nervous breakdown, but that wasn't far off.

If you find it difficult LGG ask your doc if you can have a sick note for a staggered return. It can be hard going back to 5 days a week straight off.

Oh yes. And I bloody love this fred. Yo ho ho! I have brought flaming rum punch for youse all.

Musingsofamadlady you ok?

I hate rum...makes me sick....

I am good salty. How's you?

And I'm not a rum fan either. But in a punch it's ok. Dark rum though, no bacardi. Bacardi makes me puke due to over indulgence when I was a feckless teenager.

I'm ok.

Trying to prepare an assembly for tomorrow that doesn't involve me frankly pleading for my year group to be good...

I don't even like punch...I'd make a rubbish pirate...

readysalted , you haz mail

How were your hollibobs Muselle ?

I don't know how anyone teaches secondary level. It would completely intimidate me. I was once a small group leader at a kids camp. The kids were 11-14 and every day I bought all 8 of them an ice cream to make them like me

Perhaps I could buy them all an icecream and not do the assembly....

Oooh I love rum, me. I've recently discovered the joys of demerera rum with ginger ale. Good luck with the assembly Saltandvaginachipsticks could you encourage lots of student participation so there's less for you to do?

OK I am a bit freaked out. I was going to request a Pirate theme for next thread. Then I didn't post it as I thought it was too random (at least I think I didnt) Now I am confused as I think either I am posting in my sleep or gypsybarbielee is bleeding well psychic. Ok I am going to catch up now. A bit sad that I didnt get to say goodbye to the temple but LOVING the Good Ship Besh. x

I have assembly done.

Pliz to file in quietly and sit nicely and listenup.

Audience participation all the way......

Hey saltylady How about you imagine us all sitting at the back wearing out BESHory towers uniform? Would that not help?

Lady loads of luck for tomorrow, I hope its not too harsh. Have nothing to offer re fessing up/ excuses tho. The staggering sounds like a good idea. (I don't mean from rum consumption fyi)

ohh cross posts salts. soz for stealth name change I suspect someone I know maybe joining/have joined and want to use a name I've not used before.

truffkin I also love rum, but it has to be dark. (well its booze isn't it?) bajun rum punch is lovely. rum, sugar syrup, lime juice and a grating of nutmeg on the top. om nom

I wonder who Rocketleaf could be?

yeah rather thinly disguised eh rie? ah well.

OK, stop it with all the name changing, I can't keep up! (OK, rocketleaf I'll allow, it's the vampire one that's meaning I have to think twice every post. Plus I have no idea what it refers to )

nickstermum are you another one in disguise? Am I being thick?

salty you have my greatest admiration for even thinking about doing assemblies for teenagers. Little ones are fine, secondary are just scary! I second the suggestion of imagining us all at the back in uniform, that should help you get through it

I must go and get out my pirate costume (it's the only fancy dress I own) and get into the spirit of the thread. I also have a talking parrot which TH delights in getting to say rude words. Oh and a stock of very bad pirate jokes:

Why are pirates pirates?

Because they arrrrrrrrr

(you'll be pleased to know I can't remember any more off hand)

Don't think I've sympathised with all the recently droided, especially Lorry. Tis shit. Tis also imminent here, just in time to be visited by friends plus 9 month old at the weekend. Why do all my friends have babies?

Drags self onboard in tatters shouting and hollaring after fighting with, and losing to, the dreaded droid monster of the deep.

Seriously, droid turned up this morning which set my morning off to a good start... Still, there's two good things: it came two days earlier than I thought it would so didn't keep me waiting; last night we had the sechs for fun and it was great. So, all is not lost.

I got told by another friend she is PG this week. I can't be too about it as she's had some shiz to deal with, but I did go home and weep into my pillow for a while at the fact that all I ever seem to hear is other people's good news.

Am off to see Cap'n Jack to see if I can book a jolly good rogering in for three weeks time (that is if there's anything left of him by them you monsters you!)

whenisityourturn? You and the sechs for fun? But, but, but - that's against the rules, what about the ikkle babydust cloud formations? Won't somebody think of the children?

lorry I'm so sorry. I'd pictured you strolling along the prom in february, tummy bursting out of your only warm coat. :( Now, stand by for some unsolicited advice: low-carb & aspirin for you, zinc and no fizzy drinks for him. There endeth the sermon.

Aharrrrrrrr me BESHties.

'Shiver yer minges' Love it CapnBB made me splurt my tea out as I sniggered Inspired thread, where's the rum? I also like the dark stuff with plenty of lime and evil coke* Although having lived in Manchester for a little while I can't ask for it without saying 'rum and coooooooooke'

Skilady, twittoo and warmingwinterstew thanks for the info and webites. I have tentatively started one using wordpress and my BIL assures me it's pretty easy to get all set up but it seems to be taking me hours ....and I would like a fancy ecommerce add on to encourage the click and buy rather than having to email crowd....loads more research to do so thanks for the nod in the right directions.

FFS when is the bleeping bastard gonna get the message - NOT WELCOME AROUND THESE PARTS - ?. Sorry to hear he's caught up with you izzit. All eyes are now on the new look rocky and ariel. Everyfink crossed for you dears.

Oh btw when I didn't get an email?

Who is nickstermum? All these name changes are starting to get very confusing

Sindy'ssnatch You sound way more knowledgeable than me about IUI (and I thought I'd googled everything there was to know ). I thought follicles continued to grow right up to ovulation - if so I still don't expect the stragglers to catch up as would need to grow quite a bit in the 3/4 days. Looks like it's a single one. Am feeling pretty postive this time though - perhaps the acupuncture is working it's magic. Hope you don't think this is insensitive btw? When do you go back to FC for your IUI?

Soz as I've most likely missed loads of news - was acksherly working yesterday, paid .

*according to hallowed by her name Zita West.

Oh almost forgot my other mememe news The ILs have agreed to help us buy a new house. Amaze. Now we've just got to find one...and sell this one....

Think nickstermum is a noob.(She's on another fred I soemtimes visit. BEShtionnaire, BESHtionnaire. Tis decreed you must complete.

I'm typing this from work, get me. So far have had several sympathetic looks and a few "Are you feeling betters" and "Good to have you backs" but no achshul questions of the what the feck was wrong with you variety. So I can't actually deliver a cover story as looks like everyone has already come to their own conclusions. Hey, ho.

Oooh, cinco exciting on the house front. We are going to move when we have sold MrGG's old one (and my one but we may part-ex it).

Sorry, WIIMT bout the droid. Did we 'member to deploy any anti-droid mines behind the ship? What you say that was my job? B@llocks, sorry.