Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

i have been on the busses too (and still am) but honestly never thought i would be edging towards becoming a season ticket holder.

cerealqueen DP has been next to saintly. Definately more positive about me not being successful month after month after month. he was crappola during both MC however- but hopefully we wont have another one, so that wont be a problem (crosses fingers and toes and everything else...)

My DP has been great. At first we were quite relaxed and as time has goes on, he has realised how much I want another. The tears last month were a bit of a giveaway. He asks each month when we need to 'get to it!! He too is more positive than me.

We were concentrating on when I was just ovulating but I read in a book I just got that mature sperm had more of a chance of fertilising the egg. Well, that was news to me so lets see if it makes any difference doing it early on in my fertile phase. Anybody else heard that?

I also read about wine and caffeine but I've ignored those bits of wisdom. Can't be that miserable. Just yet.

Welcome Cereal, Skinny, Soup and any other newbies, I've missed.

8Rubber, I feel for you. Get down to the fish market to stock up.

Wow, this thread has really taken off! It's nice to know that there are others in the same boat ... makes me feel less alone. In RL, everyone is getting pg really easily except for us ... or so it seems.

DH is fantastic. He is really positive that it'll happen for us soon too and the only reason he is sad is because I am sad. He tries to protect me from all the pg announcements/new baby in his family.

Hello lovely ladies, can I join you? I've got a nearly 3 yr old DD and have been ttc since jan 09. I've got pcos and got pg with DD when I was taking metformin. I took it again last yr but no joy and so I started clomid earlier this year. I got pg on cycle 3 and then had mc in July at 7 wks. I started clomid again this cycle but a higher dose (100mg) and assumed it would work but I've had 2 scans (cd10 and cd13) and so far there are no follicles so I'm feeling pretty glum about it all (the second scan was today). We're going back to see the consultant on thurs so hopefully he'll have some ideas of what we should do next. We've also had to go private and it's so expensive.

Oh, and I'm 37 and was 34 when I had DD. DH is great, much more positive than me and he's convinced I'll get pg.

Right, I'll stop posting about me, it's nice to be able to chat to people in the same situation. Oh, and my pet hate is people who don't just tell you their pg but go on to tell you that 'they weren't even really trying' as if they have to brag about their superior fertility.

Hello everyone .

I've written this before on one of the buses so forgive me if you've heard it already but I thought it was worth noting on this thread. On a programme a while ago (the one following mothers on a delivery suite), one of the midwives was interviewed and said how much she admired women who tried and tried for ages for a child. She said that she saw them as being heroic. I found it a really useful thing to hold onto because, rather than seeing myself as a sad old sack who can't conceive whilst all around are popping out babies, it made me feel as though actually what we're doing is worthwhile and shows real perseverance and guts. It also made me feel that I will get there. So there you have it, ladies, we're all fabulously brave and heroic.

In other news, I'm thinking of designing a new handbag. In the same way that some bags have a compartment for a mobile, this one has a sealed cooler bag compartment for storing a wet fish, complete with quick release studs for those moments when you just need to deliver an almighty whack to some idiot who thinks they have invaluable advice to bestow upon you. Any interest?

Right, it's deffo wine o'clock.

Evening ladies .

I lurked about the buses but quickly realised that they were not for me.

Prinpo I love your idea about the handbag, may I request a frozen food compartment for the frozen fish for slapping the truly moronic. Love the concept of us all being heroic - will try to keep a hold of that too. So often does not feel like it.

My DP is generally pretty fab, but I know that he finds my monthly wailings and gnashing of teeth more and more difficult to cope with. He is laid back and just so thrilled to have DD that he thinks having another DC isn't the end of the world - I so wish I could feel the same.

I feel guilty for not having a wee brother or sister for DD - even I know this is silly but I can't help but feel it.

I am currently dealing with the last one of my mum pals who has DC the same age as my DD announcing she is up the duff.

I don't talk to anyone else in RL, expect DP, about all this, so it is oddly enough so good to have a thread to vent and share with others who know how all this feels.

Cheers everyone...just finished my second glass of wine too! The only advantage to not being pregnant i suppose

I'm so pleased I'm not the only one that feels guilty about not giving my dd a brother/sister. I'd always planned to have a small gap, and it makes me sad that it won't happen now.

babybarrister, that's funny I've wondered the same thing myself, but about my forcep delivery. After my mc, I started to wonder if something had been damaged after having such a bad delivery.

Welcome reallygrumpy and babybarrister

Me, too Babybarrister. My younger brother is expecting #3. They already have a 4yo and a 20 month old so will have 2 younger than my DS. It's terrible but I can't stand to be around them at the moment. They are very self-righteous, self-obsessed, judgemental people which makes it all the worse.

I also feel bad about not giving DS a sibling. He is such a sociable boy and loves the company of other children.

Prinpo, put me down for one of the new handbag's you're designing. Actually, I'll take two ... one for work, one for casual .

Lurker on the thread but trying not to get too obsessed this month!

Just wanted to pass on some info...... babybarrister there is a link between previous C-section and longer time to conceive number 2. Had private fertility assessment at which the Consultant specifically asked whether I'd had a vaginal delivery (which I did) as he often sees couples take that bit longer to conceive post C-section.

Good luck to all. Looking forward to seeing some BFPs as it gives us all hope. Will continue to lurk!

AF due Tuesday but I'll know by any bloating tomorrow. I hate this knife edge once a month.

Next door neighbour who had her DS around the same time as we had DD is due in a few weeks. She had washed all the clothes yesterday and they were blowing on the line. I was upstairs and could not take my eyes off all the little vests and babygros and got a bit choked.

Hello all, hope you're having a lovely weekend. I went around to a friend's for dinner and a chat with three close girlfriends last night and told them all my ttc woes, they were all very sympathetic and interested. Funnily, none of them have children and none of them are trying, and I find them a lot easier to talk to about it than any of my friends who are pg, or have kids already. I am feeling a lot better now after an offload, although my head hurts from drinking too much wine .

Prinpo, I'll make an order for 2 of those bags as well please, although I'm pretty sure it'll get filled up with wet wipes and very small toy cars in no time. I cleaned out the freezer earlier and found two trout that have been in there for rather a long time. Anyone in need today is very welcome to them .

Also, I remember your comment about us being heroic from one of the buses, and it really lifted my spirits at the time (then I promptly forgot it ) so thanks for reminding me! I watched most of the series and bawled my eyes out nearly every time. I used to have a heart made of concrete and scoff at anyone who cried at the telly, but motherhood has very much softened me up, and I had a pretty horrendous experience giving birth to ds1, so it touched a nerve.

Anyway, chilled out day today cooking, listening to the radio, playing with ds and sheltering from the increasingly wintry weather. Have a lovely Sunday everyone

AF arrived today and feeling down as I always do on CD1 & 2 but this time we have a plan, which helps me feel more in control of my (in)fertility. So tomorrow morning I'll be phoning the fertility clinic to get appointments for my HSG and DH's SA and then we'll have covered off everything and we can decide what the next step is.

cerealqueen, I know what you mean. My SIL has asked if she can borrow things for her baby [she's due in March] and right now I can't face getting all DS's newborn stuff out.

Hi 8rubberduckies.

Hope everyone else is doing okay today.

Sorry to hear af has got you lychees

8rubberduckies can I get one of those frozen trout? Is it still frozen ... it'll hurt more if it is.

I wrote a cryptic status update on FB about being but picking myself back up again ..... but guess who responds with a flippant remark?! My younger brother - the one who is expecting #3, whose g/f is just a baby-making machine, the brother who knows we have been struggling to conceive.

I'm feeling a bit fragile.

Hello all,

Just about to put a fire in - feels nice and autumnal. >

Having my first period since taking agnus castus last month and it feels much heavier than normal - has anyone else found that? I'm hoping that any change is a change for the better as, let's face it, I couldn't be doing any worse.

duffegg, if you're still lurking then hope everything is going well for you.

8rubber, I too went through countless boxes of tissues watching that damn programme. I would only watch it if I was by myself so that I could blub to my heart's content.

Lychees, I know we don't do hugging on these 'ere boards but I'm so sorry that you're feeling low (sneaky hug (((()))) ). Sometimes it really just catches up with you. Look after yourself.

Right, off to make fire.

lychees poor you!

prinpo I must gets me one of those bags to hides me precious in! Everytime I hear a pregnancy announcement I will dip my hand into the bag and stroke me precious whilst smiling sweetly and congratulating the individual. (The precious being a flash frozen kipper).

What are the plans of action? This month i will be mostly trying agnus castus, evening primrose before O and red clover which is supposedly a good fertility herb.

My period was a bit strange this time - started on friday night - not as heavy as usual then heavy Sat morning and just slight spotting since Sat afternoon - so it only really lasted one day...hmmmm damn you body!

we'll, if my af does show this week (still a few days of torture waiting for it) I've decided to do nothing. I'll continue to take my b-vitamins, but that's it. I'm hoping that the do-nothing appraoch will work :)

points

Hi,
Sorry, I've been absent - had a busy week.
Lycees sorry to hear you're out this month .

Points plan of action here is to formulate a plan B! Have done the agnus castus, EPO thing and it hasn't worked so am going ahead with looking for 'proper' help! We'll be on a years worth of trying in two months so I've been doing some exploring of out options. Given that we're not elgible for NHS funding because we have Mini O, we've decided to self-refer to a local fertility clinic. I phoned them at the weekend and asked if I should wait until it's been a year, but they said to do it now because of waits for appt times etc, so I'm hoping to send an email tonight with all our details. I struggle with the disappoint each month and not having a back up plan, so this is my fail safe option now and I'm back to feeling calm again!

Hello everyone,

Been at work all weekend which helped take my mind off babies, TTC etc; Apart from a colleague who has just returned from mat leave (2nd baby) who asked me if I was STILL trying for number two?! We both started TTC last may, she got pregnant second month, has a had her baby and is back at work. She then told me that I was lucky to have one anyhow . When will people learn that this is what you say to yourself to cheer up and as consolation, NOT advice you offer to others especially when you already have two .