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Original poster

Having difficulties ttc#2?

799 replies

Lychees · 13/09/2010 15:00

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise Smile!

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 07/04/2011 18:17

Awww thumb big hugs to you Sad. I thankfully did not need and D&C for both MC too. Dont try for a baby have fun sex so they say, i do try and remember that Smile

pointsmakeprizes · 11/04/2011 17:14

Oh thumb, it's good that you are looking at the positive side of things but it must still be very sad for you all the same. We just have to try and keep moving forward and take it month by month.

lychees so sorry the IUI did not work again, you gave it all you had and the main thing is you tried and you have the option to move on to other measures.

I'm still stuck in limbo, got AF again last week so on to my next cycle - think it's 21 now but who's counting?? I don't think I have ever been so p*ssed off about anything in my life than this, just feel like a complete loser at the moment. Feel so on edge at the moment that every time I see someone they are going to announce a new pregnancy and I'll have to put on a smiley face about it all.

Hi piglet glad to see you've joined us,

Original poster
Lychees · 13/04/2011 10:22

How is everyone?

Thumb, how are you getting on, hun?

OP posts:
daisy18 · 14/04/2011 11:33

I'm ok, have an appointment with consultant today to talk about next steps. They called us on Monday to arrange it, normally this happens after 2 goes of IUI so I think they want to cancel the rest of treatment and advise us to go straight to IVF. Have a feeling that DH count was low on the last iui and too low for good success. I think IVF is our only way forward. Can't believe we are in this situation, never thought we'd seriously be considering IVF but I guess many thousands of people never think they'll be in this situation too.

Original poster
Lychees · 15/04/2011 22:41

Daisy, I know what you mean. I never imagined we would get to this point either. We'll be discussing IVF the next time we see our consultant, too. We're waiting for an appointment to come through the post at the moment. However, at this stage, I'm only willing to give it one shot as I don't want to deprive my son of our time and a comfortable life by blowing all our savings on this.

I've been thinking lately about accepting and moving on. When do you know that it is time to be happy with your lot and not yearn for something that may never happen?

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HalleLouja · 17/04/2011 09:52

Lychees I seem to remember that this thread was from another one about counselling where we found lots of people in a similar boat. Did you ever go and speak to anyone? It might help you make whatever decision you need to make. Or not but maybe worth thinking about.

daisy18 · 17/04/2011 22:46

Exactly as I thought. DH count was so low after washing that consultant said we need in his words ' more hi tech technology' to achieve pregnancy so we have been discharged from NHS as they don't offer IVF. We are now going to look into IVF probably July-August time i think. Agree with you Lycees dont want to blow all our savings but part of me still thinks we have the rest of our lives to save and replace the savings but only have a short window in our lives to have children so I am not ready to move on yet. May feel differently in a year or so though.
Hope everyone else is ok? best of luck as always xxxxxx

pigletmania · 17/04/2011 23:01

thanks points feeling crap, AF been and nearly gone, been 24+ cycles of ttc, 2 MC later and still no dc2. Everyone in the whole universe seems to be pg, everyone except for me. I hate the blummmin bus threads, and the list of BFP seems to be growing on them, thats great but makes me feel like shite. Sorry for the rant, ahh thats better, makes a nice hot Brew

Original poster
Lychees · 22/04/2011 12:13

Daisy, your point about the small window in which to have children really struck a note with me. Perhaps it's not time to give up. I'm [a young] 37 now and women are still having babies in their forties. I originally said I'd try until I was forty. We got an appointment through yesterday for an initial consultation at ARGC in London. They have really good success rates there [and prices to reflect this :s] ... if I'm going to give IVF a go, I need the best chance possible.

HalleLouja, how's things? Yes, I've been offered free counselling at my clinic but it's finding the time to go [they open from 9am -5pm Mon - Fri and I work from 9am -6pm except for on one day which I spend with DS]. I'm using my holidays for treatment as it is, I don't have enough time off for counselling, too, sadly. Thanks for the thought, tho.

Piglet, sorry you're feeling down. I don't frequent those bus thread [v. depressing]. I'm finding avoidance is the only way I can cope.

How are you doing, Points?

Hope everyone has a fab Easter weekend.

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lucylookout · 24/04/2011 20:22

Hello, can I join you for a bit? I have a DS ages 3.5, had 2 pregnancies last year. One ended in a termination at 20 weeks due to lethal abnormality. The other I mc naturally at about 8 weeks. In January this year we had lots of tests done to make sure everything is working OK, which it is, sort of, but I'm 39 (nearly 40, yikes) and have a low ovarian reserve, and 98% of DH's sperm is abnormal. Might be something to do with why we've been having problems [hmmm] I'm due to start IUI in May at Viveka/CRM london. We were advised to try that once or twice (I'm thinking once) before moving onto ICSI. lychees your message caught my eye because of your mention of ARGC. Having done a bit of research, and given my age I'm thinking I might move to there from Viveka/CRM London if it comes to IVF/ICSI based purely on their stats for my age group. How long did it take you to get your initial consultation. When is it for? I'd be interested to hear how it goes for you. On one hand I've read that it can be chaotic, expensive and impersonal there, and on the other hand that they stop at nothing to get you pregnant. Frankly at the moment I feel like I can cope with any lapses in customer services if the end result is that I have a successful pregnancy and healthy baby at the end of it.
I hope you've all been having a good easter. I've been eating chocolate steadily now for the past few days (including an egg for my DH from my Dad, that DH doesn't even know about! Blush

pointsmakeprizes · 04/05/2011 10:15

Hi Lucy, welcome to the thread, sorry to hear about your losses, it must have been so difficult for you. I think a few of us are now moving onto IVF so you will be in good company.

Sorry haven't been on the thread for a while, just been generally down and feeling sorry for myself. Coming to the end of my cycle again, got another BFN yesterday so just waiting for it to be over now. Had a few cries this month, hope that I've past the lowest point I can go for now and that a positive attitude will return for next month.

Hoping that we can move onto IVF within the next 3 months, been scared of the thought of it now but it will be a welcome relief from being left to our own devices and not having any control. I've thought a lot about just accepting that we may only have one and maybe just to leave it at that as well so that I can just move on with my life, the last two years have just been dominated by this and what should have been the happiest years watching my DS grow up has been marred by all of this.

Original poster
Lychees · 05/05/2011 18:04

Points, I can completely relate to how ttc has dominated our lives, too. Lately, I've been starting to think that perhaps, we'd be better off concetrating on what we have and not what we don't have.

Lucy, I sent my application form to ARGC in mid-April and got my letter back two weeks after with an appointment date of beginning of June. So I guess, it was six weeks-ish. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm not 100% that I'm ready for IVF yet so whether it will lead to treatment is another thing :s.

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Original poster
Lychees · 05/05/2011 18:07

Forgot to say ... sorry about your latest BFN, Points. Sending you hugs.

And Lucy, hope you have IUI success. I had three failed attempts this year but I know it does work for some people.

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pigletmania · 05/05/2011 18:32

Yes I avoid the bus threads, getting your hopes up then down again with the curse or BFN, everyone just gets so syked up on them its nearly obsessive. I know its easy to go down that road, but I think its the worse thing you can do, as it probably increases the feelings of inadequacy, and feeling down when the curse or BFN comes.

littleshamrock · 06/05/2011 17:48

Hi everyone,

Sorry to hear about your last IUI lychees; I've not been around for a while, trying to think about other things than TTC but really I had to come hear for a vent as my DP thinks I'm going insane! Had three more pregnancy announcements this week including my brother's wife who's due their second at christmas. It feels like the last straw as I can avoid other people but am just going to have to pretend to be happy for this one when I'm jealous as hell. Their DD is only 18 months and I feel queue jumped.

ICSI will possibly be our next port of call but will have to save up and will most likely be next year if I can get my head round it. Am now two years into TTC and feel like giving up, it's all just too hard but incredibly easy for some people.

Original poster
Lychees · 06/05/2011 20:48

Vent away Little Shamrock. I was most devastated when my cousin announced they were expecting #2 when their DD was 7 months old and my brother announced #3 when their DD2 was 18 months old. Both have had their babies now and I sometimes feel envious, too. I understand what you mean about being queue-jumped. It was my turn ... it's been my turn for a long while!

Piglet, I remembered being filled with all the optimism like the ladies on the bus threads in the early days. Sadly, I've become bitter and resentful. Not something I'm proud of but not something I can help either.

On a positive note, it's good to be able to come here and to chat openly to ladies in the same position without being judged. I hope everyone has good weekends.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 06/05/2011 23:47

I know lychees the optimism has now turned to cyniscsm, and you too Smile

Original poster
Lychees · 13/05/2011 20:40

How are we all doing?

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pigletmania · 13/05/2011 21:50

Hi lychees I am great have got a BFP this month yay Smile, however I am not holding my breath on my previous track record. Constant knicker checking, daily thoughts on is this the day I will MC again, and every little twinge thinking that I might be MC. So far so good, so fingers crossed.

Original poster
Lychees · 14/05/2011 13:45

Congrats, Piglet. Keeping my fingers-crossed that everything will be just fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lychees · 22/05/2011 07:46

Hi ladies, DS got me up early so just having a mooch on the net. How is everyone?

Has anyone ever tried alternative therapies/supplements in their quest to get pregnant? I have been having acupuncture and following some traditional chinese method recommendations, too .... worth a shot I figured as they are good for all-round health.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lychees · 04/06/2011 19:22

Hello,

Is anyone still following this thread? Hopefully, you've all got your longed-for BFP's.

OP posts:
Luce2006 · 04/06/2011 22:02

HI LYchees,
I still read from time to time.
I'm still on the drugs to shrink my growth on the pituitary gland so we're not trying at the moment.I'll be taking my last pill in 3 weeks and then there's my 30th and I want to have fun so TTC will be postponed until mid July ,I guess

Katturnerchildcare · 05/06/2011 13:42

TTC #2 after Pelvic Inflamatory Disease.
Anyone else out there in the same boat??
I've recently been treated for PID and am waiting to hear how badly damaged I am. DH and I had been TTC for 2 months when I was taken ill with suspected appendicitis, turned out my left ovary and tube were infected and they had to clean puss out from around it. It's been 11 days and I still haven't been given an appointment to check out the damage or speak to an actual person who can answer my questions! Very angry and confused :( and reaching out for some support??

HalleLouja · 05/06/2011 19:58

Slap me with a wet fish if this is totally inappropriate. But DD was born last week and is now 10 days old. She was a little premature but seems to be doing well and has been home for the last few days.

Just to say - I never thought I would get DC2 but after over a year of heartbreak I did get what I dreamed of and it was worth all the pain.