Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

Right one down the rest of us to go. Congrats diff its great to hear a fellow strugglers good news.

think it would be great duffegg if you could send text to friend announcing that visualisation has worked... (but still think two magpies in garden more likely source of success...)... what about pigeons? do they work too i wonder?

Hello all, thankyou for your comments. Am fine, really. Chatting on the MC thread also has helped, sadly so many in same situ but very comforting at the same time. Lychees sorry your cousin is insensitive! Hideousness!

Duffegg awesome news!!!! a line is a line

Congrats Duff you no longer have a duffegg!

Anyway we just got back from dinner and bumped into some of DH's old friends - last time i saw them must have been about 2 1/2 years ago and the wife had just had a baby boy. So was great to see them as their DS is only just a few months younger than mine - but my heart sank when they introduced their second DS who is nearly a year. Fate just laughs in my face at every opportunity.

hope the hsg goes well Shamrock - definitely take some painkillers before hand just in case.

Anyway i have started to spot slightly just now so another babyfail month.

However, i booked another appt with the GP for tomorrow morning as I wanted to get some more bloods done - if I am just spotting now - not even real blood - should i get the Day 3 test done tommorow bearing in mind i will really prob be only Day 1 of the cycle or should i wait until Monday when I will be day 4? (Assuming the GP will give me the tests!)

shamrock there are also a number of private fertility clinics who will give you free ivf/icsi if you donate some of your eggs - i know the Lister who have an excellent reputation do so. But i agree it's a lot to get your head round if you donate your eggs.

lilysma how far along the assisted conception route are you?

Duffegg I would have thought 13dpo might well be a faint line. Echo those welcome thoughts to your sticky bean!

Pointsmakeprizes we haven't really gone any of the way along the assisted conception route yet, but the six months the consultant suggested we wait will be up at the end of this cycle so we are thinking that we need to make an appointment now. Just not sure whether it's worth trying clomid first or better to jump straight to IVF. I have potentially duff tubes (one is definitely blocked by a previous ectopic, though DD was successfully conceived after this). Need to go back and ask consultant lots of questions. Am putting it off though as its scary isn't it? You? Sorry about your baby encounter today and also the spotting . I hate those first spots when you know it's all over (but secretly hope it's implantation spotting for a couple of days...). AF is here at the moment so I am in the 'picking oneself off the floor and dusting oneself down for another cycle' phase (sigh)

duff great news, am very pleased for you, hope all goes well x

Duffegg, congratulations, it's lovely to have long waited and deserved good news

Congratulations Duffegg, hope it's the first of many BFPs on this thread!

Brilliant news, duffegg (or egg as you should henceforth be known ).

I have to admit that on the buses I've felt a bit when people get their BFP , but on this board it feels as though everyone knows how difficult it can be and I really am happy for you.

Sorry to those for whom AF has turned up as an unwelcome guest. She's due here today too (along with MIL - priceless combination ) so I too will be taking a deep breath and gearing up for yet another cycle.

Onwards and upwards, as they say.

right AF is about to turn up. lilysma completely do the 'spotting so must be implantation bleed' too but i have poas and def negative..

thats it for me til November as on hols until middle October and then start with FC with a vengeance. not sure if i am mentally or physically up for it- but hey ho.

AF now here, MIL on her way. Is it wine o'clock?

Hello. I am in the same boat. Have fab 2.7 yo DD and been trying for DC2 for 18 months. Had tests and all appears ok, but I had op to remove ovarian cyst when DD was 11 mo and can't help think this has something to do with it. I have a freezer full of large frozen fish for slapping insensitive idiots. I am 40 now and if I hear the phrase "better get a move on" once more I may commit murder. The pain is awful as nobody understands it unless they have been in the same position. AF due any day now and I can feel the tears welling up already. I got pregnant first time round within 3 months which just makes the whole thing bloody worse.

soupmaker - welcome, I know how you feel, it is bloody awful. People don't ask me anymore about DC2 but I do see them looking at my tummy surreptitiously to see if it is big. Also, listening to people complain about pregnancy related things or telling me how tough it is with 2, like it isn't tough TTC month after month after month.

KT I am with you on everyone's gaze wandering down to navel-height whenever I see them! And welcome soupmaker .

Hello everybody
I've been reading the thread (I usually just skim) and so much that you all say I am going through so would love to join please.
We have a wonderful 22m old DD. I want to give her a brother or sister (I'm one of 5). Thing is, I'm 42 now and time is running out. I really don't want to be too old and feel already that I am.
Lots of my baby group (nearly all) are having or have a second. Weirdly, the majority of them have never asked me if we are trying for a second. I don't know if they assume I'm content with one (I was 40 when I had her) or they don't know what to say. One of the girls I was close to seems to be avoiding me. Part of me is hurt and part of me is relieved not to hear her telling everybody how she hates being pregnant while saying the she was overjoyed that she was .
KTRace, I've had the people looking at my belly. It was comfort eating, not a baby. I kept putting off going on a diet as 'I'd be pregnant anytime soon'. In my head! I've decided to go to weight watchers and feel better for having a bit of control!
last month when AF turned up, it was spotting for a week... I thought this could be implantation bleeding... took a test, negative and then AF turned up big time. All day all I could see was families with two children.

Happy to have found a like minded thread. What are on the buses?

Hi can I join too? I may be a bit of a lurker rather than posting at the mo (just moved in to a v old house and getting loads of work done, so getting on the computer can be hard!)

Anyway, I have a 20 month old dd, who was conceived first month of trying. All my family are so fertile, you only have to look at them and they get pregnant, so just presumed that once we started trying again, it would be as simple as the first time. I was sooooo wrong...

...got my coil taken out in February and convinced myself that I was pregnant straight away when my AF didn't show in March, but no, it took over 6 weeks to appear and then lasted for a MONTH! Went to the docs about this, who didn't see that there was anything wrong with this . I then went for another 6ish weeks without AF, went back to the docs, who then agreed to take 21 day bloods once it eventually did show up. I got these done and everything came back as normal, and I actually managed to get pregnant that cylce, but then had a mc at the beginning of July. I was totally gutted, but tried to stay positive as we were told everything was fine and just to start ttc as soon as possibe - which we did. I got a couple of -ve hpts after the mc, so when i got a +ve a few weeks later I was over the moon, and thinking I was so lucky to have gotten pregnant so quickly. I got my hopes up too quickly though, since I ended up back in hospital (with blood literally pouring out of my, sorry!) only to find out that the 'bit of blood' that the sonographer has seen after my mc was actaully retained tissue, hence the +ve test. So back to trying for another month, I'm now on the tww, which is killing me this month. Me and my dh had sex for about 8 days straight (hard work!) so I was trying to convince myself that this was my month, but have had cramp since tuesday, and although my AF isn't due until next wednesday, I just feel like its about to start any minute, so have lost all hope :(

sorry for the long post, but I feel better getting that out. I haven't really spoken to anyone in rl about it, so nice to get it out to people who understand. the only person I've really told is my mum (who fell pregnant with me and my sis first month of trying both times) and she's more like, oh it will happen if you just stop worrying and relax. ho-hum.

BITTERNESS ALERT BITTERNESS ALERT Just received text from a friend of a friend telling me she is pregnant with no.2 using the word "Oops!". Number 1 has only just turned 1. Am I a cow for feeling so incensed, as it took them 2 years to conceive Number 1?

Grrrrr. Like Ooops look at me, I'm so fertile we got pregnant by mistake. Opps! We've had that. Opps, we only had one shot and wham bam! Opps, DH only has to look at me and I'm pregnant.

My in my head response? Opps, sorry my hand feel into your face.

Sorry about the me-me-me post, it crossed with the last two, so welcome cerealqueen and skinny.

cerealqueen the buses are threads for people trying to conceive each month, so if you're trying this month you're on the June bus, because you would be due in June 2011. If you get a BFP you graduate, and if you don't, you jump onto the next one. A list is made of everyone on the bus with stats next to your name which tell everyone how long you've been trying, how many children you already have, how long your cycle usually is and what cycle day you're on this month. The stats look like gobbledygook to the uninitiated, but the die-hards can scan a stats list in seconds and even work out what colour knickers you're wearing. You feel an almighty sense of smugness when you first crack the stats code, which quickly wears off when you realise you're still not pregnant

Mostly populated by lovely ladies drinking huge amounts of booze on the back seat and offering around various sugary treats, in preparation for huge amounts of symptom-spotting craziness as you progress to the top of the list. On the downside, partly populated by highly annoying lucky newbies who get up the duff within days of joining and leave the rest of us hanging around on the bus stop in the rain clutching our bottles of gin and packets of jaffa cakes.

Should be 'fell'. Opps.

Another one, 'we only did it the once'.

.......and relax.

Scubbies, send a a text back saying 'unsubscribe.

No, not really. I'm just bitter too.

Ha Ha cerealqueen I can tell we are going to be friends already

8rubbies, I called you Scrubbies, sorry!

OMG. I'm relieved I never went on the buses. In my memory it will always be a bad seventies sitcom (showing my age). It sounds horrendous. so competitive, RL is competitive too I'm finding.

This kind of support is much better. Please forgive me if I have a tendency to rant though.

How do all your DPs/DHs cope?

I quite like Scubbies, I'm thinking of a name-change. The buses aren't all that bad, I have been on them since April and get lots of support from them you don't really get in RL, although I do find they fuel my "Am I? Aren't I?" obsession when waiting for AF.

My DP is coping pretty well, he's a lot more positive than me about ttc and just likes all the extra shagging

my DH has been (mostly!) fab. Although I don't think he was expecting the day would come when he'd get fed-up of sex...yet this month he has :)