Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

morning! we have been trying for number 2 for over a year now... have had 2 MC but now cant seem to get pregnant. I havent wasted anytime due to my age and have already been to a FC for work up on MC (have had 3 in total)... have booked in for two clinics when i get back from hols mid October and will be going for assisted. We are going private as dont qualify for NHS due to age. All my tests have come back fine. Consultant sees no reason why we shouldnt get preggars but no luck yet... blah blah blah... am on Bus too [waves to prinpo] but getting am getting travel sick now.... for some strange reason i thought it would distract me, but it has just made me focus on it more (doh... why I would have thought the opposite i have no idea...)

my friends have been fine... those that have become pregnant have all told me before anyone else quite early on- so that's good. i know it wouldnt be the most comfortable thing for them to do and truly appreciate it. Makes me not feel alienated from them. but still can't 'share' in my obsession as they just glaze over and talk about birthing plans. lou if someone announced on FB as you described, i wouldnt be that impressed... oh and I am doing couch to 5k too!!

Late I am loving couch to 5k - I have never run before and love it. Though not at the time. I have a thread that I started for the couch to 5k (you can see a theme) here.

I have given up on buses they were too depressing for the likes of me.

Someone pointed me in the direction of this tread - it shocks me to see how many of us there are. I too have one DS and he is 15 months old AND I very much appreciative how blessed we are to have him, after losing a little DD before him at 7 months pregnant. We have been trying for only 4 months for number 2, but have previously fallen pregnant on the first or second try. It seems cruel and I know I haven't been waiting long, but it feels like ages. I am doing everything I can, OPK, preseed, legs in the air, no coffee, good food and relaxing. Anyone got a magic wand?? :)

Ooh, this thread feels a bit like getting home and changing into trackie bums - I can relax and not have to pretend to be chipper.

The 'just relax' advice really does grate, doesn't it. I'm appalled by some of the experiences described on here. People (thankfully a minority) can be very insensitive.

Can I ask whether anyone feels they have a cut off point? I've been thinking about this a lot over the last month or so. As I'm 39 and our youngest is now 5 I'm starting to think that this can't go on for ever and when will I decide to just give up? I've decided that I'm ok to carry on for now (resigned to the age gap) but I feel as though I'm moving towards stopping. In my head I suppose I'm thinking that we may try for another 6 months or so.

I don't know whether it's better to set a deadline or just carry on and see how we feel a few months from now. The latter sounds much more appealing and less stressful but I wonder whether I'll ever get to the point where I think, "Right, enough's enough."

I know what you mean prinpo... I have just turned 40... had DD when 38 so knew had to be 'quick' to have a second... do really want a second (or third..!!) but realise time is against us and becoming too focussed on this instead of concentrating on DD.. IYKWIM... so, we are going for assisted. line up the right clinic (have 2 that we have shortlisted- meetings in October).. keep going for natural and then try IVF in NY (new year... not New York...!!)So, I have a 'plan' but no idea when the plan will run out at this stage..

i dont do 'just relax' and it didnt stop me getting pregnant and carrying the first time...

Hello everyone, can I join please.

Have a 3yr old DD and have been trying for #2 since she was one. I have a prolactinoma which means that I have to take medication to suppress prolactin production and ovulate. I have had 2 MC, the most recent of which was last week.
Had given myself til my 35th bday, which is in 10 weeks time, and then was going to give up. Have booked a holiday for then to give it a last shot, well if I feel I can bear another MC. I keep changing my mind as to whether I want to keep TTC or not. Am still bleeding from MC and still feeling crap.
Anyway, I wanted to say hello.

Hi KTRace, I hope you feel better soon. You are, of course, welcome to join ... the more the merrier I say but I am hoping that none of us hang around here too long, for all the best reasons.

Hi patchworkquilt and Lateatwork.

Prinpo, I would love three but don't really want to have any in my forties just because I don't have the energy or the emotional strength to keep going. I still have a little over three years to fit in two ... it could still be done . But I would be over the moon to just have another at the rate we're going.

I'm really symptom spotting something terrible this 2ww ... I keep thinking I have cramps but its probably just wind.

Hello everything, this thread has really taken off, I was on the previous one yesterday and am jumping over if that's ok?

I'm 30, and have a lovely little DD who is almost four; been trying since may last year with zero success. Had investigations done recently and my DP had a dreadful sperm count only 2 million. He's been referred to a urologist to see if there's anything that can be done, otherwise we will be saving like crazy for ICSI.

KT Race, I also have a prolactinoma, am on cabergoline for it; Always end up testing early every month just to avoid taking the tablets while I could be pregnant but is just an excuse for my lack of willpower!

Its getting a bit busy in here. I would like to say that is a good thing but its not really.

Shamrock I hope your DHs urologist can do something drastic. My DH has lots of the buggers they just aren't very mobile or like to swim in the right direction.

KT fingers crossed the bleeding starts soon as it can't be easy to make any decisions at the moment.

We have our first FC appointment in 2 weeks with the nurse. Has anyone else had one of these - if so what can we expect?

Wow! so many people on this thread in the same position. I used to be on some of the buses too but there were always a few people every month getting pregnant first time or joining the thread and getting their bfp about 2 days later. I'm not really such a bitter hag in real life but there's only so much you can take.

lou have you had a scan done yet - they will probably do this in your first appointment. Hopefully they will be able to discuss next steps with you and be pro-active to get things moving. Do you know yourself what kind of route you want to go down?

Sorry to hear about what you are going through KT

Hello there, please can I join your thread?

I have been TTC number 2 since forever and ever July 2008.

We found out last year DH had a v low sperm count - about 1 million (normal is 20 million plus). But since seeing a urologist (like your DH littleshamrock) it's increased to a massive (!) 11 million. YAY! Now awaiting the results of the most recent tests.....

The strange thing about all this is we have a 3 yo DD whose conception was very much a shock at the time as she wasn't planned. DH says she's the best mistake he ever made . But nobody can explain how this happened given DHs sperm count. And so the irony is that when I don't want to get pregnant I do, and now I so desperately do I can't...

We had a very bad time when we found out about DHs sperm and felt v down, but now we've begun to accept it may never happen (we can't afford IVF and don't qualify for NHS funding). We have even got rid of all our baby stuff :( I still feel sad deep down, especially when I see pregnant friends / newborns, but manage to pretend to myself I don't care most of the time...

Luckily DD hasn't expressed a desire for a sibling so far, and she doesn't seem to like babies much - she's a bit suspicious of them!

Some of your stories are so sad, I'm lucky as I've never lost a baby and can't imagine how awful that must be :(

Points been scanned already and nowt interesting found apart from a a tiny fibroid.

Welcome Resistance. Shame you had to join us.

Points been scanned already and nowt interesting found apart from a a tiny fibroid.

Welcome Resistance. Shame you had to join us.

duffegg seriously, your friend deserves a group smack around the head with a wet fish... hmmm just visualising that now....

Oh and the other nice helpful thing people say:

"Oh you should be glad you have one" or "make sure you don't neglect the one you have".

That makes me want to get the fish out.

Lychees no pressure but how's it going?

Aaaaaaaah, this thread is perfect for me...

I'm 31 (nearly 32 ) and am starting cycle 10 of TTC #2.

I have a lovely lovely 16mo DS and conceived him straight after coming off the pill so thought it would be pretty quick this time round as well. Ha ha ha.

Been doing the whole OPK thing but binned it now as it's clearly not helping and it stressed me out.

Look forward to obsessing with you all

Bundles Biccie. Fancy meeting you here. Glad you binned the OPKs. They are poo.

It all goes downhill when you hit 32. I am now 32 + 2 weeks so have a lot of experience

Lol at all the fish-slapping that's going on in here.

No symptoms today so nothing to report. I think AF will most likely arrive as normal and I'll be booking my HSG and having a think about what course of action to take next.

Welcome Resistance and Bicnod.

Hello - another person who may kill the next person who says "when are you having another one then?"
Ds has just turned 2, we've been trying for 18 months but I was bfing for the first 6 of those so not bothered.
Since then have had one period, provera, clomid, no subsequent period at all (really thought I was pregnant , and just done another round of provera having gone back on metformin. So I'm currently premenstrual as well...

Luckily DH convinced the insurers that continued lack of periods is a medical condition they should cover, as they don't cover anything to do with fertility.

Took 7 years to conceive ds - took metformin, provera x3 and clomid x6, nothing, and then 9 months later found I was 4 months pregnant. I'm 35 now so plan to keep trying until I'm 40.

Oh yes, also need to not kill the people who post on Mumsnet saying "What age gap is best, 2, 2.5 or 3?" Take what you bloody well get!!!

Hello all, can I join your lovely thread please?

1. Pissed off with people asking if there is "any news"? Check.
2. Feeling sad when I see DS playing with other children and how happy it makes him? Check.
3. Fed up of watching all my friends get pg, especially the ones who are on No.2 or 3? Check.

We have one DS who has just turned 2 and we decided to start trying for number 2 in the new year... only glitch was that I then didn't have a period until April! I have PCOS, and was diagnosed in July 2007. I met my bf in September 2007 and due to ummmm, not being extremely vigilant with the contraception due to the diagnosis, conceived DS in the November! Needless to say, it was a complete shock, but because of this we just presumed that bf must have super-sperm and that we would have no problem conceiving number 2.

I cannot believe how desperate I am for another one now and get so hurt by people (such as my Mum) thinking that we should be happy that we have a child at all. I am an only child (although my Dad went on to have 3 children in his 2nd marriage) and my partner has 2 brothers very close in age to him, but for these opposite reasons we both want more than one. I always wanted a brother or sister to play with when I was growing up, and my bf can't imagine what it would be like not to have siblings.

I am booked in to see the GP this week, as 6 months of Metformin and temp charting has not helped, so am excited about being pro-active but also a little scared.

On a lighter note, how many of you SWORE you would only have one child after experiencing childbirth? I know I did... I can see myself now shuddering in my hospital bed at the thought of ever having to go through that again

if anyone would like to fish slap my mother please queue up her lovely response to when i told her we were having problems with No 2 was

'why can't you just concentrate on looking after the one you have really well, are you sure you can cope with another one?'

yeh thanks mum! Anyway 14dpo for me, all tests negative just want my period to start now so i can have another go. I had a nasty 16 day luteal phase last momth out of the blue so did get my hopes up a bit.

lou if everything looks fine for you it seems the thinking at the moment is that IVF is the only option which really sucks!

Resistance, I very much my DP reacts in the same way as yours to seeing the urologist, or at least his sperm does :) Our DD was a surprise, situation very similar to yours; it's murphys law isn't it, when your not trying things happen!

IVF/ ICSI is definitely something I would consider, but the cost would be a huge issue for us. My PCT offers a cycle for about £1000 if you agree to egg sharing but I'm not sure how comfortable I would be with the idea of that since it's not anonymous anymore. I can understand the reasons why IVF is rationed cost wise, but working in the NHS it makes me mad to repeatedly see people abusing their bodies and being treated at costs of hundreds of thousands of pounds who go home and continue to do the same

Brubberduckies, I can check all three on your list unfortuanately. Also If I have to see one more bump/scan related update on facebook I'll scream!

Just forgot to add that lou that my DH also has low motility and morphology but he seems to have a lot of them so FC is not worried as the numbers make up for it.

His count wasn't that great 6 months ago but he has been taking magnesium and zinc and pycnogenol and his count tripled as a result though all others areas remained the same. Selenium is also supposed to be good so I am going to start him on that too.