Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

I hope it's OK if I join and mostly lurk? We haven't started trying for no.2 yet, but I already feel negative about it ...

So far had a miscarriage in March 2009, baby son born March 2010, but my consultant has already told me that my chances of conception are so puny and dwindling so fast that I should be trying again NOW NOW NOW and he'll see me in February for my first dose of clomid. Which I do not feel exhibits the right amount of confidence in me and my eggs.

When we point to no.1 he says (and I will quote) "You were incredibly lucky."

Prinpo I'm 42 and my partner is 43. We wish we'd got moving on this 10 years ago (what happened to that decade anyway? did you see it go? how can we be 40+, and we haven't gotten anything done yet?) but just because we're tardy doesn't mean we acknowledge any form of deadline.

Just popped back for a quick catch up .

I love this thread. Off to stock up with wet fish .

Please believe in yourselves and I know it's been said before and it's the hardest thing to do when someone tells you to, but relax. Lychees that sounds like such a familiar story.

I have a lovely 6yr old ds. After a redundancy, we began trying three years ago for dc no2. I spent many a night kicking myself as dh had suggesting ttc when ds was 2 yr old. I wanted to wait, so i always wondered what might have been.

Went to see specialist on Nhs basically not very much they could do. Dh kept saying we had done it once we could do it again. (i of course didn't believe him).

Fast forward to Jan this year I tell dh at 37 we should try for 6 more months and then it obviously wasn't meant to be.

MAy this year convince myself i am lucky to have ds, went on holiday , came back thought better try having a bash this month. Come End of june no af. LEave it 3 weeks as life was complicated at the time and take a test. BFP. I am still in shock despite scan and fetal heartbeat heard twice. I am 16 weeks and i really thought there was no chance.

Please all have faith. Good luck to all. Hope those BFP come along soon.. And if they don't, believe it will when the time is right.

Sorry hope my story doesn't come across as insensitive. But so many of your stories are exactly how i have felt and experiences i have been through.

littleshamrock - I remember you from another prolactinoma thread but have name changed since then. I am currently on bromocriptine, well haven't taken them since the MC as I can not face feeling sick on top of everything else. Also, am seeing my endo soon and want him to change the drugs, does your drug have any side effects and how often do you have to take them? I can't help thinking that the drugs have something to do with the MCs.

People have stopped asking me when we will have another one, so that helps, but I have a busy Nov - Jan of friend's having babies and am thinking that will be hard.

Like others have said, it breaks my heart to see my daughter playing with little ones and asking for a baby of her own, it the thing I most want for her and yet I can't give it to her.

Here's hoping people start getting BFPs soon.

Rubberduck - I have all three of your boxes ticked.

But I was wanting to ttc six weeks after birth (the birth was fine, the non-sleeping baby less so). Every other mum thought I was bonkers and DH convinced me to wait 5 months and I wanted to breastfeed a year anyway.

Now all those other mums have no.2 on the way or already existing and they're either blase about the whole thing, or put on that Special Caring voice when they ask if it hasn't happened for me yet. [stab]

Fish-slapping is the way forward, I love it! Pass me a big wet fish!

OMG I can't believe the number of people on here! It's nice to have the company but a bit shocking too - what the hell is going on??

People have stopped asking me when/ whether we're going to have another one as DD is nearly 4 (she has stopped asking too ).

Some friends are really supportive but even my best mates say things like 'you just have to try to be positive', which really winds me up when they haven't had problems conceiving themselves - why do people have to tell you how to feel about it? Oddly enough my most understanding mate is a lesbian who has never wanted kids but has had lots of knocks in life and understands that sometimes things are shit and doesn't tell me how to feel about them.

Phew! Got that off my chest....

You lot sound suitably bitter and twisted . Hopefully some BFPs on here will actually make us feel hopeful though rather than horribly

Lilysma I think you need a fish too!

Another day another pregancy announcement - by e-mail - got to be better than fb but not much.

I forgot another annoying one I got told recently but another (one of the many) who is PG with 2nd after 2 attempts - "why don't you just stop trying for a while and come back to it?" Like it's that easy to just 'forget' that you ever wanted a second baby. Grrrrr...

LittleShamrock good luck for your DH at the urologist I hope it helps your DP too! I considered egg donation too, but found out I can't donate due to my medical history - because just to complicate matters I only have one ovary, although this doesn't compromise my fertility apparently.

Ha I hide all pregnant friends on Facebook too duffegg

We've not told anyone we're TTC apart from our immediate family, and after reading some of the comments you've all had to put up with I'm quite glad about that.

KT, I've been on cabergoline for three years and honestly never noticed any problems at all. I take it twice a week and is so routine now I never even think about it. Maybe your Endocrinologist would prescribe it? From what I've heard usually one of the two drugs agrees if the other doesn't.

There really are an awful lot of us on here now, It's reassuring to know I'm not alone but am hoping for lots of luck flying in our direction!

Hi ladies, i am mum to DS age nearly 3 and have just recently (4 wks ago) MC what would have been DC2. We were trying for 6 months... back to the drawing board sadly!

Just starting to SWI again now with serious intention, in the hope the next one sticks.

Nice to meet you all, sorry you are on here. Sounds like a nice place to chat!

nickstermum - sorry to hear about your MC, hope you are ok, and really hope next one is soon and sticky.

Littleshamrock - thanks for your advice, I am going to ask to change to your meds when I next see the Dr.

After this MC I told my Mum that I couldn't contemplate another pregnancy and that we would stop trying and start getting on with life (we have been TTC for over 2 years). Her response was that we would feel differently and to keep trying, now I understand she was trying to be positive BUT I feel that it was a cloaked way of saying having 1 was not a good idea, now that might be something I have no control over.

Sorry I just seem to come on here to moan, I don't talk about it much in RL and I am finding it really hard.

On the positive side I saw on another thread that Rudolf Steiner recommends a 7 year gap, so my DH and I are pretending that is what we are aiming for! So far if I got pregnant tomorrow there would be a 4yr gap.

nickstermum sorry to heard about your loss. that really sucks.

whenisitmyturn its hard to have some good comebacks to those type of comments. maybe we should devise a list on here?!

notcitrus i felt the same as you- we never used contraception after DD was born. Started seriously trying when she was 6 months. 2 MC since. 1st pregnancy would have resulted in 17 month age gap which all my friends were aghast at... now they are all preggars except me so my gap will be the longest.

gee i loathe work at the moment. ho hum.

Hello New Peeps, too many to name .... and sadly so; I didn't realise so many of us were having problems.

Can I put an order in for some pollock for the fish-slapping [mustn't have cod, it's not sustainable ?

I tick all the items on the checklist, too.

I deleted two ex-work colleagues from FB as I couldn't stand them comparing notes on their second pregnancies [both had their firsts after me].

And my cousin's news is now public so all the FB congrats are up there now congratulating the "happy" couple on #2 when #1 is only 10 months old! To add injury to insult, I've been supporting my cousin's wife as they are having marriage problems [they are currently seperated] and she knew I was ttc and she hasn't once asked me how I'm doing. When she told me she was pregnant, she said "I'm stressed and sad about it!". How did she think that made me feel?!? Rant over.

How's everybody today?

Got any 2ww ladies who are feeling hopeful? Any upcoming FC appointments to wish good luck for?

Hi all, can I join in? Been lurking for a bit.

Have a lovely DS who is 21 months but it took us a long time (nearly 3 years) to conceive him due to my gynae issues.

After DS we knew we had to get cracking on another one - I'm 37 and FSH levels not brilliant.

So we started trying properly about 6 months ago again. Just been put back on medication again for gynae things and finding it all really tough going this time around. Have even started wondering if DS was a miracle baby..! Meanwhile, almost everyone I know who had their DC the same time as me is stacking up the next ones. One person is pg with her third already...!

But we've been lucky I think - haven't had too many annoying, pollock-slap-requiring, questions - I had them all the first time around so I guess its clear now that it isn't so straightforward for us.

Lychees, a big thanks for starting this thread. I've found everyone's posts really helpful and good to feel we aren't alone.!!

Hi Lychees will try not to make this a massive moan but you did ask how everyone is! I have got evil sinusitis so am on the sofa with a huge pile of tablets and nasal sprays (and biscuits) to work my way through today... it did actually cross my mind this morning that I'm glad I'm not pregnant at the moment as I wouldn't be able to take any painkillers (my face feels like it's falling off even dosed up), so every cloud has a silver lining . Hope you are better than me today!

I don't have a FC appt coming up but booked in to see a GP at my practice who specialises in fertility issues next Tuesday. Hopefully she knows lots about PCOS and is sympathetic, as I know in the grand scale of things we have not been trying that long, but my wishlist is for a speedy referral for a scan and a look at my medication to see if there is anything more that can be done to help.

lateatwork I told both of my baby buddies all full of bravado when DS was about 6 months old that I couldn't wait to get going on ttc#2 (they both thought I was nuts), and, of course, 1 of them has already had her 2nd and the other has just started trying.

nickstermum so sorry about your mc, it seems far too often we hear about them on the conception threads

KT and littleshamrock what is Bromocryptine?

Hello everyone

Brubberduckies, bromocryptine and cabergoline are used to treat high prolactin levels; my prolactin level was 4000 before taking them so effectively I wouldn't have conceived without it.

Booked in for HSG today, it's on tuesday morning. Can't say am looking forward to it but at least feels like by taking some action something is happening.

I haven't required any fish today, not even a sardine so hoping today will continue in this vein with no idiotic comments or unexpected bump encounters!

Wow duffegg, many congrats! That's great and of course you should have posted. You have obviously waited long and hard for this so who could resent it?! (It's wierd the mindset you get into isn't it? No pregnancy should be resented but somehow that's how you end up feeling sometimes...but defo not this time).

Why do you think it would be a chemical pregnancy? Cos of the faint line? How many DPO are you do you think? A line is a line is a line though...

Keeping everything crossed!

Congrats, Duffegg ! Don't feel bad about posting it. It gives me hope.

Wishing you all the best.

duffegg fab fab fab must have been the two magpies... (searches fruitlessly for any type of birds to perch in the carpark next to my office window)