Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

Argh, I'm having a completely hacked off day need to vent before my DP thinks I'm a lunatic!

Latest facebook update that a friend is 12weeks and pleased to announce this after trying for so long; her dd is 14 months wtf?!!!! that must have been trying for about six months then Already hidden her updates

Also peeved at listening to how long it takes to be referred for a vasectomy from all the friends who have had babies in the time i've been trying. They have to wait a whole three months, try seven months to see a urologist for infertility issues.

Anyhow, rant over, hope everyone is well

daisy18 hope HSG goes well. It's v good that you got your FC appointment so quickly.

Choccie75 keeping my fingers-crossed that this is your month.

littleshamrock, these people are just insensitive. But then sometimes, I think why would they spare a thought about people like us if they've never been in the position? Its difficult for them to empathise which is why our thread is a good place to come to vent and for support ... we know how it feels.

AFM, AF has finally arrived [21 DPO ... I was so anxious about it going AWOL] so today I'll be phoning the clinic to book in my first scan [starting IUI attempt 2]. It'll be month 20 for us and its such a rollercoaster. Sometimes I've been [emotionally] on an even keel but so far this year, I've felt emotionally worn-out.

Anyway, onwards and upwards, ladies .. its the only way to go. Lots of luck, all.

How are we all?

We had a good weekend with family marred by one really insensitive comment. This came from my aunt [mother of my cousin who has just had his second so now he has two under 14 months] ... she basically asked when I was having #2 seeing that my cousin has already got #2 and my brother is expecting #3 and they are both younger than me. Yes, thanks for that [cry]!

[Passes Lychees all the frozen fish she can get her hands on!!!!]

I think you need some super-sized salmon.

FFS. Just back from visiting SIL who had DD this morning. This is DC3. So pleased for them but feeling a bit raw. Had a quick squint at my Facebook account. Cousin's wife has posted up her 12 week scan of DC2. Am completely gob smacked as she has suffered a MC too. Feel like I've been punched today.

Hi lovely ladies [pokes head in nervously and waves]. Don't fish-slap me please, I am from the olden days and just bumped into Loulajo / Hallelouja on our antenatal thread and thought I'd pop in and see how you're all doing. 21 weeks now, and having a girl - ds is not impressed .

I am glad to see the fish-slapping is still going strong - did anyone actually ever manage to whack Ms Klass hard with a big smelly frozen one?

Lots of love and luck and good vibes, And have a wine .

Soupmaker, it's hard enough without constantly getting "punched".

8RD, glad things are going well for you. Is this DD2? I have DS so would just love to have a DD. My brother & SIL are expecting DD3 next month ... he's outnumbered and overwhelmed by fairy things, pink things and princess things .....

Hi Lychees I already have a ds, so will have one of each. I would have been happy with another boy, but if we don't end up managing a third it will be nice to have one of each . Have already ordered all of our family that she will not be a baby-pink girl for as long as we have a say in it .

Hi ladies

Sorry for the absense of late! I have been relaxing about TTC or trying to at least

picture so so sorry about your mum it does put things into perspective {{{hugs}}}

Hope everyone is doing well x

Thanks for the kind words everyone. No surprise that AF is late this month and no def not pregnant. Putting it down to the stress of the last couple of weeks . So just waiting for it to arrive.

hi girls - haven't been around for a while as took last month off. Was good to take a break and not be getting stressed as AF approached. On CD9 of new cycle now and got quite a lot of ewcm today which was very strange as I don't O til quite late in cycle.

Hope we get some good news on this thread soon x

Hi can I join? TTC #2 for 14 months, I have a 5 year old.

I am at the point of going for more blood tests to see if Im actually ovulating - I get no symptoms, just chronic PMT :(

DP thinks nothing wrong just stress.

Can I join too? Although you'll probably all start throwing chairs at me as DD is only 6 months old. However I'm breastfeeding so chances of getting pregnant are slim to none. Very depressing. I have to decide whether to give up BF or not.

Been lurking here for a while... slap me with a fish pls. It's now been 10 cycles of no luck so far. I have a DS just turned 3. I don't have a diagnosis of anything but have always had an irregular cycle, admittedly am 38 now as opposed to 34 when I conceived DS with no bother after 4 cycles. I've had blood tests for 2 cycles and I am ovulating OK - I just have this gut feeling there is something wrong there, I compulsively Google cysts, PCOS, etc. I was a mess after my CS and worry I haven't mended right! All rather bizarre and unhelpful but please tell me I'm not the only one who does this.... right?

I also wondered if anyone ums and ahs sometimes about #2 as I do? I would so love another child and dream of it constantly, but at the same time as the age gap gets bigger it seems like it will be much more of a backward step - (taking financial stuff out of the equation) will DS even bother to play with them, he's out of nappies, sleeping better etc. I feel so of friends and family who had their kids at the "right" age in late 20s/early 30s or have had 2 or 3 neatly in a row! Although I also know from other friends' heartbreak how lucky I am to have DS. My GP told me we wouldn't get help with assisted conception because of our age and the fact we already have a child. Also my DH has to go on some meds at some point in the near future which may affect his fertility. i just feel like it's now or never but the now ain't happening.

Sorry to splurge - I must really need that fish slap! :)

Hi all, Haven't even been lurking of late - work hassles and dark dark nights sending me to bed early. Not much to report here - seen consultant to talk over options and have decided to gamble life savings on a Spanish egg donation in the summer. Kind of a relief really! Sorry so many folk still on here! Angechica - my DS turns five next week and although I really wish we'd managed to provide a close sibling seeing him with his 1 year old cousin makes me feel a much younger sibling would still be a big plus in his life. Hi newbies!May your stays be short and productive. Lychees, thanks for keeping this going over the festive (or not) season. Good luck with the next cycle!

Welcome, Newbies. Hope you're not about here for long [for the right reasons].

And welcome back Panda, picture, points & hipsterchick.

Just a quick update from me ... we are going for our second IUI today and really hoping that this is the one. What with two acupuncture sessions under my belt and better timing this time [had slow growing follies last time and no natural surge whilst I had a natural surge yesterday [CD12] and follie and lining measuring okay this time], I'm feeling more optimistic.

Speak soon. Take care, ladies.

Hello everyone, I'm a bit of a lurker I'm afraid, but am selfishly raising my head now to have a bit of a moan.

I'm 41, have a DD who will be 4 in May, and we've been TTC2 for 2 long years.

We've had a couple of meetings with a very nice consultant, and I'm waiting for an HSG appointment.

Actually I was supposed to have my HSG tomorrow, but had to cancel as AF was 10 whole days late (probably due to work stress? it's usually like clockwork). After the first negative pregnancy test I tested another 3 times while telling myself not to be so daft. But, normal service resumed yesterday so I'm just a teary mess now.

We decided not to go for assisted conception, and I had told myself I was starting to get over it all, but I'm sooo not. Don't know what to do!

Oh there we go, moan over.
Start again: I have not tried accupuncture. Should I?

p.s. I saw a comment that the HSG could actually help things along...is that right? Or did I misundertand?

Take care all, wish you all good luck.

Welcome newbies and good luck Lychees!!

Day 4 for me today so back on the bandwagon for this month! Was convinced it had worked this month due to 2WW symptoms but no, it just shows yet again that you can't tell anything until you get the BFP!

Have had a very weird AF this month (TMI Alert!!) with very large clots which is unusual for me, could it have been a chemical I also ov'd the latest ever CD21 - wtf!! Maybe that's why AF has been bad

Next steps for me are HyCosy or HSG has anyone had this done?

Bewildermum - sorry just realised you're about to have a HSG test, and yes i have heard it can clear things out a bit and so help things along

Do you mind me asking if the HSG is following all bloods etc coming back normal?

Hi ladies

CD2 for me now... Cycle 40 i cant believe im fast approaching 3.5 years TTC! i stupidly got my hopes up this cycle too as i have had some very promising symptoms but as you say choccie you dont know til the BFP!

Hope everyone is doing well. Im at home recovering from having a tooth out yesterday so havin a duvet day with DD

lychees good luck with the iui!! Got EVERYTHING crossed for you xx

Panda - i can't believe it's been 3.5 years, have you got any plans for intervention?!

Choccie75, good luck this month. Yes my bloods were fine at last check. DH had some disappointing tests with low mobility but the last one was all A-Ok again, so in theory all should be ok... so just my age maybe. We haven't had any other tests.

That's encouraging that the HSG can actually help...I had no idea, thanks. Good luck if you arrange one too - is the HyCosy a different way of testing for the same thing?

Would you go for IVF do you think?

(The HSG is a weird one for us considering we'd already decided not to go for intervention - the theory was that if it reveals a problem, then it would help us just to draw a line under the whole thing and accept it's not going to happen - as it would be the end of the road without IVF. Hmmmm! )

This unexplained fertility thing is so frustrating and so unfair as if we've managed once already why can't we do it again

My bloods were all ok apart from my AMH being lower than expected but that isn't the end of the world. HyCosy is exactly that, they don't use x-ray but ultrasound instead, i don't know all that much about the difference to be honest but i think they both do the job.

I think we definitely will do IVF if necessary as i can't bear the thought of DS being on his own! But of course i'm hoping it won't come to that as there are drugs and IUI to try first. Although friends have given mixed opinions on going straight to IVF and missing out IUI

At least if there are no problems following the HSG and you aren't going any further with assistance you can just relax and it will probably happen naturally!

Can i ask whether you are going to a private FC or NHS?

Choccie75, yeh, and the "unexplained" bit means that I just can't quite shake the feeling that I'm not doing it right or something...!

What drug treatment would you be trying next?

We've been to the HNS clinic (in Edinburgh), and it will be same for the HSG.
Our consultant was great, and very encouraging, but didn't think there was any reason to have additional tests other than the HSG.

I know every month you question what you have done and look for errors!! I'm now feeling guilty for drinking diet coke in case that is causing problems oh and

Not sure what drugs but something that will encourage a quicker ovulation and i presume more follicles etc... This will hopefully mean more targets! e.g. Clomid or something like it

After HSG i suppose it's wait and see or intervention

Lets hope we get a BFP soon x