Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

Hi Girls

really hope it works for you this time lychees. It all sounds a lot more positive than last cycle which you had to put back so you probably weren't in the right frame of mind also.

I'm just meandering along in my cycle - have no clue whether i have O'd or not.

Bewilder yes i think pregnancy rates are improved after HSG - though i had one done last May and nothing has happened for me yet. I was also told by my consultant that Oil HsG has slightly higher rates than water so you could ask about this also.

Sorry to all those starting new cycles - it seems the majority of us are diagnosed with unexplained. I've told myself that I am now going to stop counting the no of cycles that have passed. I even had a scary thought flash through my mind that I could spend another christmas without a pregnancy or a baby.

choccie we had all the tests etc and we are not eligable for NHS help so we are basically just having to keep going the natural route! The cost of FT is so high that we are limited.

Hope everyone is ok

Hi all

Sorry I went AWOL for a bit. I was trying not to think about it all so much so thought I'd stay away but the truth is I need to read this sometimes to remind myself I am not alone and there are people who understand. I feel so awkward talking to my friends struggling for their first but can't bear chatting to antenatal friends who are all on second or third and asking when we'll get on with it. Even those who do know just tell us to relax.

Due to ovulate soon....tryng to have PMA...

Still wondering if we should just get on with IVF/ICSI.

It is so expensive and I worry it will be money that gets thrown away with no baby at the end of it. Once you start when do you stop?

Hi smiley i know what you are saying, there's only so many cycles you can put yourself through, so many disappointments. I am going down the route of IVF later this year - it is scary as the emotional cost is so high not only the financial but I will be 36 this year and the longer I wait the less my chances are.

Quick update from me. Had the HSG and all is fine, tubes patent/open etc. So I have now been offered IUI. We are currently on the NHS. I have been so impressed with them, my referral from GP was sent in Jan and I start my first IUI next cycle ! I live in greater london too! I don't think its the best treatment for us given low sperm count problems but thought we've nothing to loose, they will offer us 4 goes. If that doesn't work then we'll have to try IVF/ICSI privately as they don't fund it in our area.
Lycees - just wanted to say best of luck for your IUI.
Fingers crossed for us all on here. xxxx

Hi smiley and points - With you on the whole IVF fears. I signed uo for my egg donor trip to spain this week and I am torn between knowing its my best chance of s 2nd baby and also knowing its my only savings in the world potentialy going on nothing but a load of grief.I try to keep it in perspective by reading accounts of how much people spend on plastic surgery! Also DP and I are never getting married so we are looking on it as the money we would have spent on that. It is crap how much money dictates these things - we are going straight for an egg donor as I was not a great IVF candidate at 41. If we had enough money we would have tried my own eggs first with that as a back up plan but as it was the "odds" made the donor route make more financial sense as we only have one lump sum to spend. Really, it's not right is it? Sometimes I feel as if every single decision I make about anything is ultimately dictated by financial restrictions. Gosh I'm ranty tonight! Sorry gang! Good luck to all!

Hi hipster. Thats a big step you've made but I think it's the right decision and it sounds like it was a tough choice to go for the donor egg but you are right and you have to decide what is the best chance you have. When do you begin treatment?

Daisy your care sounds fab, so lucky you can move onto iui straight away.

I'm still waiting for my iui go, i am entitled to iui and 1 ivf cycle at my trust even though I already have one child which I am really grateful for. I should have had my iui cycles a long time ago but my consultant has kept putting me off as he feels we are better off just going straight to ivf but I have told him now that I def want to do the iui first but as it stands it looks like that I will get my ivf go before the iui as we are way down on the list for it now! It's difficult to know when to stop, if our free cycle doesn't work we will continue with a private cycle, I don't know when we will stop though.

I've been pretty upbeat about things recently but for some reason today Ive started to feel really low again. I saw a programme yesterday where there was a couple with 10 children under 12 years old - yes 10 under 12 and guess what she was pregnant with her 11th!! Why is it so easy for others and so difficult for us?

Daisy, glad that the NHS are giving you a good level of service.

Hipster, wishing you much luck with treatment.

Points, how are you doing? When do you start IUI?

I am due to test this Weds and I'm not feeling it but as usual, if it fails, I'll pick myself up, count my blessings and get on with the next paln of action.

Hope everyone else is well.

We could use with some success stories on here to pep us up a little.

Much luck and PMA to all.

lychees not sure when we will get to do IUI still waiting to hear back could be anything up to 6 months. I really hope you get some good news tomorrow. It's a bit depressing we haven't heard goods new recently.

I tested today for all that it was worth - BFN, goes without saying! Not even sure when I ovulated think I'm anywhere between 9 - 12 dpo.

I got a BFN, too today . I#ve come to expect nothing else sadly. So it's on to our third and final IUI once AF arrives. And then, perhaps acceptance that we'll also be just three .... I don't really know.

Hoping for some good news on here soon.

Sorry to hear your news Lychees and Points. Thinking of you both - keep hoping to log on to good news! I should have treatment mid July. I'm trying to keep stress/hope/fears down without much success. Anyone else willing to sell their granny for a working crystal ball? (actually I'd rather sell my mother but I don't think I'd get any takers!)

Oh lychees I am so sorry to hear that, i really had my fingers crossed for you. Have you thought about taking a break for a month? It's just not fair.

I've been so down today, I nearly cried in driving home. Surrounded by bumps, scan pics and newborns.

hipster good you have a date set and you can work towards it, at least you are doing something and not just leaving it to fate.

lychees so disappointing to hear that, we really need some good news, fingers crossed for next month. I can't remember if you said before but would you consider IVF or anything more invasive?

Know how you feel just now points, the whole world seems to be pregnant.

I have no news at all still plodding on through the 34 week wait to see the urologist. At this rate, we should see him at the end of may but it seems so long away; really feeling so angry at waiting such a long time and coping with disappointment every month when there might be something that could be fixed.

shamrock can't believe you have to wait so long, can they offer any counselling for you? I had a couple of sessions which helped to cope with the disappointment and general sense of failure at the time but those feelings are coming back again - the only thing that will make them go away is getting pregnant.

AF came for me today, another cycle begins again. Why can't anyone just tell us what is wrong with us, sick of having unexplained infertility. Sick of never being the one announcing their pregnancy, getting congratulated on facebook, posting 3 month scan pics. All these sites make the whole thing worse as you realise you are the only one not pregnant.

Lychees how you doing?

Wow what a busy thread, it's not just me. Tried for nearly a year before hubby sent to afghan. If one more person had told me to relax I would have screamed. Afghan was enforced relaxation. Have cut down caffiene, booze and stress but not sure if it has worked. Due to start period tomorrow after our first recent attempt, don't feel different and too defeated to try a test, think the stress of it all may make me accept just having one DS. The longest two weeks ever ( but they always are). Keep smiling everyone especially when people talk through yet another example of a mate who fell preggers as soon as they stopped trying / booked in for ivf

Welcome back Duff - I can understand all the ones who don't have ttc difficulties going on about their pregnancy afterall they don't know how we feel and lucky them that they don't. The ones that do have difficulties and then get pregnant it really gets me how smug and insensitive some of them can be. I know someone who tried for ages for No 2 - who wasn't even ovulating and had other health problems and somehow miraculously managed it and all she does is send random mass emails attaching pictures of her 2 children - never a how are you/what's happening, just emails saying here are the latest pics. So Rude!

Remember the frozen fish Duff, they certainly need a good slapping, why moan to you? Yes and that classic my story will give you hope - well no it doesn't because you are not me and I am still not f*ing pregnant!

Hi Reg - I hear what you're saying - it's obviously our fault because we can't relax and we are thinking about it too much!

points, I'm alright thanks. I have started the Clomid again for the third [and probably final] attempt at IUI and I'm hoping for at least two targets this time. I don't really want to think about what happens if this one fails. Sorry AF got you . Maybe this one will be the one for you.

LittleShamrock, gosh, that has been a long wait! Hope the end of May comes quicker than you think; MOSTLY I hope and wish you don't need to see the urologist at all!

Hi Reg, must be extra tough. Keeping my fingers-crossed.

duffegg, I hope I never become that smug. This whole ttc#2 journey has changed me and I cannot imagine that I'd ever be insensitive to those still struggling on.

Hi girls!!!Do you stilll remember me?? Haven't been on this thread for ages!!!!
Wwll,FINALLY, after spending MONTHS arguing with my very incompetent Surgery, I managed to get referred to an Endocrinologist and after having my MRI scan ont he 11th of February from tomorrow I'll be starting my cure with Cabergoline!!!!
This should lower my prolactine levels and hopefully I'll start ovulating again
still ahve my prescription for CLomid tucked in my drawers so we'll see if I'll need it in a few months time

Hi Luce, hope you're ovulating soon.

Duff, IUI is no worse than a smear. If you're medicated, you have to go for a couple of scans to check your follies before ovulation. This is done via your vagina with a "dildocam" and is not too bad either [takes a few minutes]. I've got so used to the prodding and poking "downstairs" that I don't even bother tidying uo the ole' "lady-garden" anymore .

Duffegg - I'm 34 and have just started first round of IUI this week. My husband has low sperm count. I am on clomid too. Can't tell you what its like yet but as lycees said it seems pretty straight forward. Best of luck!

Duffegg - yes it seems low sperm count is the only problem we know about at the moment. All my tests came back fine. We've only been trying for about 14 months now. Clomid was the only option given to me for ovulation induction. They said it will help me ovulate 3 eggs hopefully ( if it works! ) which will give husbands swimmers more targets.