We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

BESHbee I meanz

Bwahahahaha. Stop being soppy and go cop off with a dodgy Turkish guy. Take a Break will give you £500 for your heartbroken story.

Headbangerererer - aah, an Essex sistah!

Don't worry about vicious depressing cynicism rubbing off on me. I love a bit of vicious depressing cynicism. why do you think I chose this fred over the others?

Coming to that there london tomorrow for an overnighter and trying to pack as minisculey as I can. Can one of you southern lot reassure me that sandals are all good and I will be too warm if i wear jeans? I have a bag the size of a 5 yr olds school bag so there is not much margin for error.

I must admit that the Pregnacare which Muse very kindly sent me, caused me exactly the same problem, and I gave up after serveral days and returned to my tiny folic acid (which even that still has the capacity to make me gag.)

Bombastic I hope you know it's meant to rain today. I am getting there, ClubMed, at least the man seems to be able to swallow his.

Congrats Gaga!
Sorry I wasn?t here when you arrived, girls. I got the flight in from the provinces, and met up with a couple of blokes on the plane who were, like, really fit. Their pants were showing over their shorts and one of them even had three real gold chains on.
They showed me how to party (not been here before) but one is now in hospital and one got arrested. I know we?ll be friends forever.
I?ve come back to see how you?re all getting on - I?m still pasty white ?cause I only wake up at 4.30 in the afternoon.
Have a tequila slammer on me.

Morning

except the're not conceiving are they. That doesn't make sense.

Start again ......Morning! Couldn't grab the laptop away from Mr T (looks nowt like him but goes with my name, best I could do, pathestic I know....)

Realised I forgot to say very :( Stinks that you've been at this so long too....and that goes for everyone else. Tis rubbish. I wish you all insta diffedness (is it the MSDP that's still running - there's still hope whilst temps are above 20c as that's still technically Summer right?) and hope that STW you are a first time baybee winner with your iui - someone's got to be according to stats haven't they

Ey up salad my dear - you sound a bit brighter, maybe it's the needles? Thought about those myself but unfortunately money too tight to mention at mo. Sounds as though they've done something to help ya. I'm ok today thanks for your concern....think it was just a stroppy wobble yesterday that I'm having to do this again. Quite childish really. I apologised to Mr T yesterday for being a misery. He hugged me and said don't worry 'you're just being you' Don't think he meant it to come out like that, made me laugh though so job done. bombardier have fun in that there fancy london.

Hello to Saltyair - I'm a newb. You been on your holidays? Hope you had a lovely time although for you at droid showing up to join in the party.

HB you do make me laugh, are you a writer or summat?

Morning all!

lettuceleaves I think you should recklessly go with the sandals then if it rains purchase one of those fetching £1 plastic old lady rain covers - you know, the ones tourists buy. They are ace

Glad to hear you are feeling less barfy, Muse , altho not surprised the vast tablets made you nauseous, I don't know why they don't make them smaller - it's not like they actually need to be that big, they could just give you two smaller ones to take instead. Pfft.

Cinco the MSDP is def. still up and running. It's not over til the last barbecue and we're nowhere near that yet, surely.

Am having trouble with stupid OPK thingies. Last night about 6pm I did one, it came up negative. Before going to bed, did another test as I now have a POAS fixation; the bloody thing came up positive. This is two days earlier than last month and resulted in an emergency crap shag this morning - preceding by Mr 'Shoes putting down his comic with a martyred expression and saying 'I'm really tired but it's okay - even men at death's door get erections.' Passion killer, anyone? What he doesn't know yet is he's going to have to do it again tomorrow; I can see already he's going to be thrilled about that.

What ho Cinco. Are you feeling a bit less desolated this fine morn? Don't make me break out the frozen haddock for a series of early morning fish-slaps.

Writer, you say? HAR! Oh, I dunno: Sort of I suppose. Am I? Well. You know...I drink heavily and smoke pretentious fags, does that help?

TomatoRocket, 'twas a brilliant jewel-bright morning not twenty minutes ago, and is now distinctly murky. London's a coy mistress, to be sure.

Right. Anyone got any 2WOOFLing to do? Buggered if I'm going to do a stroke of work today. I demand ENTERTAINMENTS

Owl,Owl,Owl (continuing the literary theme - anyone? Anyone? Points for picking up allusions and it's no good trying to bully me for being a nerd, I'm taller than ALL y'all), you are in danger of snatching from me this month's dedicated-shagger crown . I trust you are properly chuffed that your charms could give a man a stiffy whilst the priest delivers last rites and his children cluster mourning round his bedside. . . what the helll bra size are you, anyway?

Well bangersandmash I, after all this time, seem to be on a permanent 2woofl. So guess that just makes it a woofl - what on earth does that mean by the way?! Slight shooty pain in my norks - must be diffed. Grumbly belly - must be diffed. Any sense of smell whatsoever - must be diffed. Despite being on day 2 or some such like I no longer come out with any of this in front of Mr T because he thinks I'm mental. He's probably right. Think we do need the haddock after all.

oh twittwoo the joys of SWI. Love the image of Mr Shoes 'putting down his comic'

HB Is that like Dogs!Dogs!Dogs! which is an over-excited Flickr group?

Am not going to achieve the Twice Shagging thing like what you have done, it's just never going to happen so you get to keep the crown (which in my mind is rather like something one might end up wearing on a hen night, adorned with peesticks on ribbons and phallic-shaped balloons)

As for bra-size - pitiful certainly not enough to give a last-rites stiffy I fear. That is so wrong.

cinco hurrah for insane symptoms. Last month I actually managed to convince myself I felt nauseous. WTF?

Oright you lot. Phew, that was a heavy night. My puke was bright blue - BLUE I tell ya. Took a photo - I iz crazy. Dancing in a cage was soooooooo crazy. That well lush waiter wrote his mobile number of my chest - look!

Oh, wait, that was RL circa 1996 & post traumatic breakup with twat*

Anyhoo, I'm 2WOOLFing.

I have a spot = diffment;
I feel a bit nauseous = diffment;
I still have tuggy-pully ovary thing going on = diffment;
I have a mouth ulcer = diffment;
I really fancy a Crunchie = diffment;
everyone is irritating me = diffment;
I have creamy pant snot = diffment;
I'm not sure I should continue to try becoming diffed = GUARANTEE OMG!!!TWINZ!!!!1!!!!!diffment.

That menkal enough for ya?

*except for the puke. It was plain puke & burnt my throat.

of on my chest. Twat.

Hah, in the first few months of this I actually was sick...then realised that I really shouldn't drink black tea on an empty stomach

That's quite a few of you on the 2woofl now then...let the games commence!

Laurie I completely love you. Troo

x post LL - you've kicked the the games off well They all sound like guaranteed diffment to me (although see previous post, I may not be the best qualified person to comment on symptoms)

Not WOOFLing as we have had no Secs. I'm only 35 and we're a couple who goes to bed early .

My sister has just told me that she had an erotic dream last night involving, wait for it, both Miliband brothers. I'm so - no one can help their subconscious but the fact that she felt able to share it .

aries thanks butt. The boyf & I also go to bed early. Ah, anything later than 10 pm on a school night is vay late to us.

cinco why, thank you to you too. I do my best.

Now, am I 2WOOLFing alone? Pliz to be adding your imaginery symptoms.

Oh & aries grounds to disown your sister.

Hullooo!

Welcome Tarty and congrats to LadyGG!

I was 2woofl-ing but had some spotting today which means first period post-MC is on its way - probably due to arrive on Friday which will happy coincide with my would-be due date from my first miscarriage earlier this year! What a joyous day that will be!

Salty hope you had a good break. Are you back to SWI yet? I'm surprised at how up and down I've been since the op, I feel fine 90% of the time and then a colleague will ask me something about it and I am powerless to stop the tears! Has been a very embarrassing month at work!

Twinks I don't really know what to say. You've been through so much & are really so incredibly brave. Don't worry a jot about tears at work - don't be so tough on yourself.

BESH candles will be lit for you Friday. Can you arrange to do something nice? I know nothing will make you forget what day it is but maybe something to just occupy your mind elsewhere, if only for a short while.

Un-BESHly xxxx & a loving fish-slap.

Aw fanks Laurie. I'm hoping the thought of Friday is worse than the reality. The man is off working all day so will be stuck with the child! But I have a few friends who also don't work on Fridays (lazy fuckers) so might attempt a long lunch out or sommink.

I'm REALLY liking the look of your symptoms! When can we shout POAS and expect conclusive result?????

:( twinkle I can't begin to imagine what you've been through. Agree that treating yourself may help a wee bit.

I've got a lovely cinamon scented candle that will be lit too.