We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

And it is awful when EVERY DAMN POST is someone announcing they're pregnancy, talking about their pregnancy, or posting scan pics. There were points where I couldn't bear to look at it.

It's a minefield.

I will be honest now and admit then when I do actually win my baybee (in the year 2525, etc.) I will probable use my scan pic as my FB pic. I'm v selective about who my FB pals are (I say that, but I'm HB's FB pal, so... ), so wouldn't feel weird. Although, then again, I probably wouldn't use it as would feel guilty about inadvertently upsetting known and unknown BESHes in my consort. And I'm permanently stuck in that stage Muse* mentions, where every non-PESH or FESH status update about pregnancy, babies and parenthood make me want to go postal with an AK-47. Some days, all baby chat and pics upset me, but I never resent the PESH/FESH ones, just others. That sounds mean, but I know ya feel me. No, not like that, gerroff! Well... okay... go on then

GAH! Am sure even Woody Allen in his heyday was never as neurotic as I am!

*This is what TYF infuriatingly sings at me in response to the wailed question 'when will I get pregnant? Waah!'.

Can I join in please

H and I are officially not TTC....well, that's how it started but of course...... Had a year and half on Depo and gave up in April and planned to just see how it went...you know how it is...if it happens blah, blah, blah

but......

I've not started ovulating/cycling...nothing...and I knew it might take some time for my hormones to settle down but I'm bloody impatient now grrr, and of course long gone is the...if it happens....thought process and I'm desperate. Time is running out, I'm 39 in a month and all of a sudden I feel as if it's all my own fault as I've left it all too late

I got real excited this morning when I got up and discovered a little blood and had some cramps but they've buggered off

Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with the peeps who have scan photos as profile pics, I just aint HTFU'ed enough to deal with more than one new scan per day. {current count is 4 scans and 5 less than six month old baby pics out of 67 friend} So in the same way that you can block your husband children (or in my case under aged siblings) watching porn, I want a program that blocks scan pics from me.

just popped in to shout POAFS Salad and give her a quick punch in the kidneys.

I have a colleague who called her daughter Florence a few months ago and she was mightily upset at the 'news' today! Rose far more lovely though, tis my daughter's middle name.

Hello newbs!

Greetings, SheenaEaston! May I ask, have you been to your Doc about the non-return of menstrual stuffz and if so, what did they say? Hopefully if you've had some bleeding today then that has to be A Good Sign.

We like to get straight into the fanny talk here now get your tits out.

Please to find our BESHtionnaire and complete! (Hint, go back about 5 pages or so - but do the long version)

Sheenaeaston....good god woman...do you think I have no taste

Nope, haven't been to the doc as they already told me when I said I wouldn't be back for the next jag that it's quite standard to have a long delay and I thought I would give it 6 months before I start well and truly getting worried

goes off to find BESHtionnaire and work out what the hell it is

here we go....although I'm still trying to work out what BESH means

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   I know it's compulsory but no , although I do like Whisky, Drambuie, Glayva and Irn Bru

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Neither...I have the misfortune to have an H who is a Rush fan

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

lots of C with a bit of D thrown in

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

oh A...most definitely A

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

who?

6. what colour are your walls?
   stone...2 foot of cobweb catching stone

7. Number of pets?
   2

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   erm.......Rowan Atkinson

9. Lesbian crush?
   Drew Barrymore

10. What are your views on camping?
    With blow up beds, electricity and running water I could just about cope

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

option 3

Everyone gets a daft nickname around here, FlickingTheBeen

Crapsticks at having to wait so long for things to get back to normal.

feel queasy and have a headache after drinking lots of vino and eating cake with friend last night = diffed, n'est pas?

Hello dear Hagelettis. How are we all?

Cake, incidentally, was a triumph!!

POAFS Salts! POAFS!

Ooo glad the cake was yum: what did you do with it in the end? My plum pie was a sight for sore eyes but the filling lamentably wet .
Mornink chicks. Another day, another dollar. At the end of the day, you're another day older/And that's all you can say for the life of the poor etc. etc.

I shall remain in t'Pit for One More Day (continuing the musical theme) and expect to be sexually harassing Spanish waiters and mainlining pints of Sangria by noon tomorrow, latest.

Morning! I'm out of the Pit! HUZZAH. However, am unable to write much as still in at Gaga eating her droid.

Loved all the party food last night - any leftovers? (except for droid).

HeadChef I sandwiched it with the delish ganache recipe and whipped cream. I challenge anyone to eat that and not be cheered. in fact, I made you an individual one, to say thank you for recipe

Morning Loz Care for a Bloody Mary?

Oh When will I, will I be pregnant? I can't answer, I can't answer that...Ahem. Just for Scoresheet.

Welcome BakedBeen. Dr can prescribe Provera to bring on a period if you want to get things kick started and a few people I know have found that Agnus Castus (you can get it from Holland & Barratt) have got things going if you want to try a natural remedy.

LorryLoadofVom glad you're back out the pit. Here have this delicious meringue I baked with "raspberry" coulis.

RE. FaceCunt - I have resisted the constant peer pressure to get an account due to the fact I couldn't cope with seeing all the pregnancy announcements/scan/baby pics on there. That is entirely personal though and I completely understand why people would want to put those things on there (especially if the pregnancy is hard won).

What news Lettuce????????????? Did you test?

Salad my dear - you ok?

Twinky you all good?

Re FB you can hide people who are pissing you off Sindy. Then you don't see the hourly updates of their Ickle Angel. On the other hand, I live in mortal dread of my MIL sending me a friends request. What would I do? On the whole I adore FB - daft I know especially for someone who doesn't understand Twitter or IPhones and does't know what Blue Tooth is and hasn't got a satnav. I have no desire to drive into a river, thank you.

Well don't you love those mornings when you have passed many hours the night before wandering the house doubled over a hot water bottle snacking on painkillers, visiting the loo often. Happens about every other droid for me and it is a pile of crap I must say. I may go into the Pit just for some undisturbed napping.

Poor Squariel. What possible evolutionary advantage can there be to be incapacitated with pain one week out of every four? But surely people can see if you ignore them or whatever it is called on FB and then they will hate you forever?

Iceberg any news? Surely we are due another win soon

No, no BBQ they can't see if you have blocked them. They still think you are getting the hourly updates.....

Rie my dear, would you like a chaise- longue and some smelling salts like a victorian lady?

Morning Hags, sorry for arriving late, I was having a lovely holiday lie in. Bad news I'm afraid, HUGE temp drop this morning and a BFN. I realise its not over til the big fat bastard metal lady bleeps out of my fangita, but I am 100% certain she will do so tomorrow. Weirdly I am ok, I think. Just so used to it now, can't imagine ever being pregnant and the last week has just been like a nice make believe game I've been playing. I reserve the right to throw myself down t'pit at any given opportunity but I don't think it will happen today (plus don't want to disturb arialady catch up sleeps, shhh)

More importantly, need to light a BESH candle for cincopants and her turkey basting action today.

LL glad to see you are up here swigging the sangria, pass the jug please.

Re FB blocks, do you have to put them on a restricted access group list? or is there a block updates button? For me its the constant Farmville updates that drive me absolutely bonkers.

If you hover the cursor over their post, a little cross appears. Click it and it gives you the option of hiding them,

Then at the bottom there's an 'edit options' button which you can press that gives you the option of unblocking them should you so desire.

Not that I've, like, blocked loads ofselfishbitches pregnant people or anything

Hi Salad, You can block stuff like Farmville or Mafia Wars or Cafe World. And it just blocks updates relating to that and not the whole person. Drives me insane too.

Sorry temps dropped. Fingers crossed they shoot back up skywards but glad you are ok. Meringue?

ps Sorry about silly pregnancy test Saladdressing Is shite. But am impressed with your zen like attitude.

In hangover/symptom update, I just ate some ready salted crisps and drank a glass of juice.