We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

what about mrMountie? has he only had the one so far?

cass maybe i should crochet you some asbestos gloves? or maybe just gloves :o

gah, i could kill you bangers all i want to do now is POAS :o Its like an idea worm in my mind.

Evenin....just thought I'd weakly raise my head above the pit to chime in about jizz performance. Mr T has had quite a few now, old hand at the wanking into a pot shenanigans...old hand....gettit..I made a joke and the point of me saying this is his first 2 results were v v poor and we were told only home was ICSI - where they select the sperm and inject into egg to fertilise in case you don't know. And similar story to cass's friend in that he started taking vitamins and wearing baggy boxers so that we are now doing IUI and on the first one he was A ok and above normal on motility, count, morphology and volume. So all good and shows that spermz are sensitive little tings who need some care and attention . I is still not diffed obviously but it has given me more hope (not that you'd know it today) and hope it does to others who have had crap results.

Cold tea....COLD TEA...yeurgh.

Oh and same drugs worked last time giving me 3 juicy eggs...that still didn't work. Apparently - according to google search - loads of people diff with just 1 follicle as after all it's what most women have most months. Just pretty disappointing after feeling completly mental for last few days on these drucks, knowing I've got another 2 weeks of building menkulness before ....can't even say it.

Now laydeez, any ideas of how I get meself and Mr T in the mood for the compulsory secs we must (as directed by the barren-menders) have tonight?

Where did Head go? Honestly, you make a pass at a woman's husband and she disappears into NOWHERE!

Oh Score . That is not nice. I do have those moments of 'Too fat to shag' (and in my case I actually am ), but I am easily persuaded [will take all she can get emoticon]. I suppose if he did you from behind, you wouldn't be able to see any of yourself, and you'd be at liberty to imagine yourself whatever size and shape you pleased ?

Oh sozzles Salad! If you do, do it in the morning FGS. Remind me what day you are/DPO etc.?

Drinking tea cold is an abomination. It also means that when you do taht British thing ("One last cuppa before we leave, dear?"), merry hell breaks loose, viz., the sane and rational hot-tea-drinker is ready to get out the door ten minutes before benighted depraved chill-tea-drinker has taken their first tentative sip

One, yes, which wasn't ideal and that's how we ended up at the FC. He did do another one for this appointment, and we'll find out the results then. (As well as all the other results.)

single crochet is just as dense as knitting y'know? plus i can do that and crap at knitting.

keep your eyeballs off my kidneys missycass only DPO10 here so completely pointless with the no mark sticks i have (i will NOT poas, i will not poas)

only home only hope FGS

I give up

Poor LemonTart. Automaton secs :(. I dunno - lie back and think of Wales England? Plenty of fun beforehand and the actually wham bam thank you now bit can be short?

Scroppy and Pencil - you are not fat. You are lovely

Cinco no clue, I would hit a man who tried to shag me now. Salladio wait a couple of more days, wontya?

Chink cup,syringe,vibrator

don't give up chinco on posting or the secs. glass of red and some barry white?

sorryHB to not acknowledge your question, i answered it unknowingly as hadn't refreshed, so i think we are cycle twins this month?

scorps i don't know what to say to you but it makes me very sad that you feel this way about your body. I am SURE you are not fat and i KNOW are completely beautiful, inside and out (i havent met you but i know about the inside for sure) But i also know how hard it is to get out of that mindset once you are in it. Just have some lovely cuddles and see where it goes.

eppp! triffids is on tele, i'll have to turn over but i really want to watch......

cass for some reason i thought you were suggesting cough syrup as part of impregnation process and i was a tad

don't worry hopon i am determined as a very determined thing? Such as a limpet? yes as determined as a limpet* to hold off POAS shens until friday (or maybe thursday)

*are limpets determined? Or are they simply one dimensional and only cling on so because it's the only thing they know how to do? Who knows, sorry I am babbling now.

www.bbc.co.uk/nature/blueplanet/factfiles/molluscs/limpet_bg.shtml

It's very interesting.

Well i never, I didn't know they got up for a wander round when the tide was in. Or that they were hermaphrodites. So now I can also say 'i am as determined AND sexually ambiguous as a limpet' You've got to be pretty determined to wear a patch in the rock from clinging on.

may have to resort to our own diy iui stewie

I'd echo the words of radicchio and HB too Scorps. TYF obviously thinks you're the hottest thing since sliced bread and loves you to bits...which means that even if you have got some more ample areas (which it doesn't sound as though you have btw) love is totally blind and he just sees your amazing gorgeousness.

Why is it we spend so much of our lives worrying about how we look we fail to appreciate how fantastic we are until we look at photos and go 'oh, I was a bit of alright back then' when we know at the time we thought we looked hideous? Wasted energy. Easy to say but I know I do it all the time.

And I would accept the red ta rocket but on the wagon ain't I. Felt too guilty having a few drinks last time ...even forsaking a trip to Notting Hill this weekend...the things we have to do eh?

Oh yes Salad, molluscs are fascinating things. Honest. Talking of marine crestures, remember when Muse got all arsey about a porpoises and basking sharks - twas hilarious! Muser we love you. Hope you're cooking your bean nice and proppah!

a

Apparently a lion is the most determined animal...true according to yahoo answers

yes, tis poop treacle utter utter poop. Next year we will go to Nottinghill both bedecked with twin BESHbaybees in those slingy things and I will make matching sets of these for them to wear so they fit right in.

aries i think the porpoise/basking shark think might have been before my time? What caused such arsiness?

Do it doggy-style when I'm grotesquely fat?????!!!!! Are you MAD, HB??? You clearly haven't seen the size of my arse, which has its own solar system. Just the thought of doing it from behind has made me want to don a burqa for life

Teh Secks will be happening tomorrow. There will be no bubble bath (I don't like baths), unguent-rubbing-in (the last thing I want to do when I hate my body so much is touch it and feel how flabby it is) or saucy-lingerie-wearing (TYF isn't into sexy undies and I can't fit into the ones I have any more anyway). There will be unsatisfactory, perfunctory sexual intercourse purely for the procreation of children. Victorian-style prudery is the way forward!