Charters Anonymous : Volume 2

[chocciechip]

Volume 2 starts here ladies!

PS bessie - how rude of me - congrats on your pregnancy and I hop everything continues to go well!

Shitting myself now. I have just phoned for a doctor's appointment only to be told "Oh we've just written to you and wanted you to come in. Your blood test results show you have an underactive thyroid."

Of course it's sent me into a tailspin of panic and guilt and worry about whether that's why I've just lost my baby . Googling seems to suggest that the untreated (because undiagnosed) underactive thyroid would have put me at a 4 times greater risk of second trimester loss. So angry with myself, that it could have been my body that failed my Bobbie . Really very upset.

Fcking doctors spilt* I'm so mad at them for telling you that information in the way they did.

It's NOT your fault. You couldn't have known. And it still might not be the reason. Please don't do any more googling until you have had your appointment. For your own emotional wellbeing. I say this feeling exactly the same way as you...wondering if I've let three babies die because of something my body is failing to do . But we can't go on blaming ourselves, we just have to learn what we can now and hopefully prevent it from happening again. Lots of ((((((((((hugs)))))))))).

split I am upset for you. Your gp surgery should never tell you results like that over the phone as now you are worrying yourself to death. Was it the receptionist that told you that? It makes me angry - I work in a gp practice and the receptionists NEVER tell people results over the phone. Also you don't know HOW under active your thyroid is - it might be absolutley miniscule and not a factor - it might just be something they just want to keep an eye on. YOU absolutley did not fail your baby - it was out of your control honey, it was shit, and horrible, and unfair, but not your fault.xxxx

terry - don't worry about FF - my temps are all over the place, but I know its because I haven't been srict on the same timings every day.

bessie glad you are betting nice and fat:)
digi how did work go?

My boss called me today and said I can go back tomorrow - late start and early finish - am off friday anyway as dp is here - 'come on egg!!!!'

Did a pregnancy test today - am 10 days post erpc and it was negative, so I suposse its a good thing...in a sad weird way :(

It was the receptionist yes.

You are both right, it may well have nothing to do with the loss, it may not be particularly serious. And I know it's not really my fault, but it still feels like it is if it's my body that didn't work properly IYSWIM? This is hellish. It feels like an out of control nightmare that keeps taking worse twists. Maybe there's a me in a parallel universe who's still pregnant and ambling along blissfully ignorant of how it could have gone?

Hoping you get your egg on time battery

spilt no matter what these tests result say you did not fail Bobbie in anyway. Unfortunately things can happen in life beyond our control and what's most important now is that you don't let it define how you deal with your future. Losing Bobbie was an event which will be a big part of you but don't waste any of your grieving blaming yourself or your body, I don't think that will help you to focus on the important issues and come to terms with your loss and move forward. All the emotions you are going through are completely normal but they aren't necessarily right!

I hope that makes sense.

Oh spilt, how awful for you - ignore the words of an unthinking receptionist and see what the GP has to say and take it from there - one day at a time.

Terry like you, I was impatient to get going but it took me at least 3 cycles to really understand my charts (how on earth did I ever conceive DD without?!!) and then my body throws a spanner in with a 35 day cycle last month!
Just try to be patient and I too have heard some people never get a+ve OPK but still conceive.
I agree that your chart does not show ov yet. I'm on CD15 and not got any EWCM, but i normally ov CD18 or 19.
DP getting a night off tonight after 2 nithst 'on' then back to it tomorrow

Btw, when I do get EWCM (normally for 2 or 3 days), it rarely goes clear. i normally get opague, fairly thick globby stuff (lots) that is very stretchy. Should it be clear? TBH I rarely get creamy or sticky - just a couple of days of watery, then lots of opaque stretchy stuff. Does that sound 'normal'?
TMI - I find it easiest to examine after I've had a poo

Oh and finally, poor poor lily Allen has had a miscarriage (still birth?) at 6months

I know what you guys mean that I haven't OV-ed yet but last month I had a 26 day cycle and I'm now on CD17 so it would be a very short LP if its the same which I understand isn't a good thing for getting PG??

Your ewcm sounds perfectly normal mrsa!

terrys keep on trucking, perhaps your temps do a strange fallback thing. Or perhaps your temps are sensitive to whether you've got the heating on or sleep with your mouth open. We'll help you figure it out eventually. But do not get stressed about them. Or we'll have to confiscate your thermometer.

spilt when is your gp appointment?

Work was fine. My boss tried to be nice to me at one point and I told him not to be. Everyone else was suitably non-questioning (apart from a few 'how was your weekend?' to which I replied hmm)

Got a halfway tomorrow. Scan in the afternoon.

Halfday not halfway

GP is Thursday morning at 9am (I haven't been up before 10am for about 3 weeks now so that will be a slight shock!)

MrsA I didn't like to say it earlier but now you have I'll agree. CM is easiest to investigate after a poo

Lily Allen's will be a stillbirth, at 6 months she must have been about 30 weeks poor girl. Absolute tradgedy.

digi I'm glad you found work ok. Is the scan to check everything is out now?

Terrys a short LP can cause problems but it doesn't mean you are doomed. Mine is 9-10 days which is certainly on the short side (normal is 10-16) and I searched MN for threads on short LPs which gave a load of anecdotal evidence of people conceiving with 6+ day LPs. I conceived within 3 cycles last time. Wait and see what happens this time round, your cycle may be longer if you ovulate late. The plus side of a short LP is you know that AF is late so much quicker! Hippy was also a 10 day LP girl and she conceived quickly twice. Got to keep hoping.

evening:)

Just popping in to say I had reflexology tonight and really enjoyed it.I had a thumping headache before hand and it totally cleared. She only wants me to go once a month which is a lot cheaper than the acupuncture lady who wants me to go once a week at £37 a go

Back to work tomorrow - [nervous face]

p.s poor lilly allen xx Its awful at any point but it must be awful in the public eye too x

good luck at your scan tomorrow digi - I hope you get the right result xxx

(Terrys I also meant to say thank you for your post, the reassurance helps)

Hey ladies, had my first day back at work today and survived - hurrah!

Really sorry some of you are feeling so down.spilt it was not your fault. I'm really sorry they told you over the phone like that.

Oh, I got my results from the 'reswab' today and am MRSA free - woohoo! Still have to be swabbed again this week and next but so far November = good news! Would just like to be pg again now please! (will be a miracle if I even ov before xmas)

Battery I'd love to have reflexology and infact my mum is trained in it but doesn't practise do you think it would be weird to ask her?

Sending love and hugs to all - hippy nice to see you back

Right, medicinal glass of vino here I come.

xxx

Glad work was ok, Mouse. I think the hardest day is the first.

Glad the reflexology was good battery. I've got second needles session tomorrow.

I feel so sad for Lily Allen. She lost her first at about 18 weeks too

Terrys you might find you just have a longer cycle this time. Hope it comes soon.

I'm cd19 and still waiting for ov - hopefully soon, cervix high but not open, some ewcm although still streaky but no pos OPK yet. Dull, dull, dull [[http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2fee7f
here]]

OMG, I am so excited!! [[http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/terrysno2Look!!]

However, DH and I only SWI-ed on CD11 and 15 so maybe not enough this month, but just excited to see that line!!

damn, so excited, I messed up link!

again

and again - third time lucky here

excellent stuff terrys, can I just say though that ff changed its mind on me at least three times, so if you want to keep going 'just in case' it wouldn't necessarily be in vain. Although it will feel more like sff than swi, which is always nice.

Glad to hear yesterday went well mouse

I had a nightmare evening very and about it, too much to go into detail here and not at all relevent to ttc. But right now I'm waiting for the third shite thing to happen as bad things always happen in threes...

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time digi with extra stuff to deal with in addition to your loss. I hope work is manageable again today.

Terrys I love how in your excitement it took 3 attempts to get the link up . Congratulations! As digi says, always best to have a couple more insurance bonks but fingers crossed you might get your BFP in about 2 weeks

My chart is getting boring now.

here

Still no temp increase. Harrumph. The CM details are not to be relied on because I can't really be arsed checking it just now. I just want to see the temp rise so I know when to expect my period and then when to start thinking about SWI... actually S at all as I still can't quite manage. We've only attempted it twice, the first time I burst into hysterical tears and had to stop and the second I just felt too sore (out of practice!) and I was also upset but not as bad as the time before. Ho hum, one day eh?

(Also I am a bit naughty and half my readings are not at the right time hence all the hollow circles )

Must Try Harder.

I know it might change again digi but I am holding on to today's optimism and tomorrow will be another day! DH and I SWI-ed last night also as I wasn't sure so we are keeping it up. I am having fun with all this SWI-ing but DH is feeling very molested atm

digi I hope the third thing doesn't get you, maybe go and stub your foot to cover your bases anyway!

spilt keep going with the charting, I was getting very fed up, as you know, yesterday and today I am excited again, like digi says, FF could change its mind on me but I will take one day at a time and be excited today.

Hey ladies, digi how did the scan go? I've been thinking about you. Hope whatever upset you last night is manageable IYSWIM. We're always here if you need to vent.

I sneaked home for a lunchtime SWI today (never done that before! ) What the hell eh? Might as well JS until AF appears

Just bagged myself some Kings of Leon tickets so am very happy with November so far!!