Terrys I am 
at you sneaking around work with a wet pee stick!
battery I know what you mean about being home alone... I am on MN ALL DAY at the moment which does lead to long postings! Don't apologise, we all need to talk. I'm glad your Dr is being proactive and referring you sooner rather than later. Hope they can be helpful.
Thanks to those asking after me. I'm ok right now, but generally very very low and feeling so hopeless. Had a long chat with DH about it last night which was good because I think we understand a bit better how each other is feeling, but hard as well when what I was saying made him cry 
Our bereavement midwife came to visit on Monday and brought us the photos of Bobbie that the hospital had done. I was really scared to look because Bobbie was born on the Saturday and the pics weren't taken until Monday and I was worried about the pictures looking different to my memories. One of them I can't look at as it wasn't how I remembered Bobs but two of them are lovely. They're black and white and soft focus. The nicest one of a close up of just the tiny hands which are incredible for only being the size of my little fingernail. I've put it up in the lounge as a hint to people that I do want to talk about it all.
I found this which I was thinking of writing out and framing along with the little hand and foot ink prints:
We thought of you with love today but that is nothing new
We thought about you yesterday and days before that too
We think of you in silence we often speak your name
Now all we have are memories and your picture in a frame
Your memory is our keepsake with which we'll never part
God has you in his keeping
we have you in our heart.