Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all, laughing. All welcome (Part4)

[PrettyVacant1]

Hello and welcome to all.
Grab your OPK and stash of POAS' and join us on this quest to many a BFP.
This ones going to be lucky!

moof glad the worst is over from a medical perspective an now you can take time to recover - my obgyn said even after three mcs not to wait for tests but to try as soon as you feel emotionally ready, although the break initially feels like its a million miles long I found it was really helpful. Also now my ds will be at least 4 by the time we have another if i get pg in next 3 months and if it goes the distance so the age gap is getting bigger and bigger - but i like to look at it as now the age gap will be big so it is less pressure to try and have another while the gae gap is small!! there are benefits to a bigger age gap too, less arguements, less tiring, less jealousy for first child, they can help you etc etc. hang in there - it will come to us all in time

pinkie welcome honey, what a blow about your SIL and your family keeping it from you - although I am sure they are trying to be sensitive its horrible to feel like people are pitying you. this thread is for ranting so rant away

prettyv nutter... decorating - u must be mad

tigger nice to hear you sounding more upbeat, and good that you have found some rabbi support

sarah hang here all you like - jolls is still here - she may never leave .. and that would be just fine

battery flying in for a SWI and with waxing - thats whats called dedication to the cause - award for going above and beyond (literally) goes to Battery this month for sure

my second day was good - they are all being really nice to me - especially the boys - but that might have been the skirt length rather than any professional respect or the fact I am the boss (for some of them!) - cold is worse though and prospect of doing and S W or WO I is just horrible - but am only on cd10 so have 5 days til ovulation - havent even bothered with CBFM sticks this cycle its so rpedictable but I ran out - will get some in for next cycle if nothing doing - thats even assuming we get one in in the window which I have to say I haev only a borderline level of interest in at the moment - maybe my hiatus was for too long - sometimes wonder if I really want another - get so hung up in ttc stop questioning if its the right thing - does anyone else get this or am i just a freak? have updated list as I had lost ... oh no someone has gone back and amended .. clever clever , who was that ooh battery it was you - definitely an award .. x

barren you are fearful near the top hon ... hows the symptom spotting!

saffronbun TTC#1, cycle 1, UCL 28, CD26
barrenbrook TTC#1 cycle 2 (post MC#3) UCL 28 CD24
IvySedai TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL 30ish CD26? BFP!!
Honeywitch TTC#1 Cycle WTF UCL 28, CD21
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 15 UCL26-9 CD15
digitalgirl TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL41 CD15
PenguinsMummy TTC#3 Cycle 1 UCL25 CD14
Curlylox TTC# 3 cycle 6 UCL 28 CD11
batteryhen TTC#1 cycle 2 UCL 28 C10
cheepz TTC#2 cycle 1 (round 4) UCL28 CD10
Freezingmyarseoff TTC#2 cycle 2 UCL28 CD9
VivClicquot TTC#1 cycle 9 UCL28 CD6
PrettyVacant1 TTC#1 Cycle 3 UCL26(?!) CD6
Loopymumsy TTC#4 cycle 2 UCL26-28 CD5
youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 1 UCL31, CD5
delilahbelle TTC#1 cycle 1 UCL28 CD5
hairytriangle TTC#1 MC April/May/June CD4
pippaandpolly

WTTC
LadyBee TTC#2, MC#2 conf July 21
KnitterNotTwitter TTC#2, MC#2 (post ectopic) conf July 22
Moofold MC#2 conf Jul 29

RECENT GRADUATES
BUnderthebonnet BFP 20 June
Muser BFP 22 June
Jollster BFP 22 June
SarahMia BFP
northerngoldilocks - BFP 12 July
Magic8ballhastheanswers BFP 14 July
Hopefully BFP 22 July

Thanks for all the regards and good wishes. I only popped in briefly on the way to seeing if there were any scooter recommendations (a bribe from my parents to ds when we go to a wedding for 3 days - can't wait!!!) but thought I'd add a bit.

Moof I've not hit the 2nd mc yet but I found there was something about the whole ERPC process that seemed to open up the wound again. Maybe it's that awful point when you come round and just feel empty physically and it really hits you emotionally. Take as much time as you need. The testing process isn't so bad (except for the hsg) it's just difficult when juggling all your other commitments and depends on hospital availability etc. Good luck with it all.

Viv good luck with the tests. I did one cycle of 3 blood tests 4 scans. It was a bit of a pain but sometimes I got out really quickly and was only in work about 15 mins late. I'd go with malarial route or something really expensive - either should help.

Sarahmia good luck with the next stage. I'm afraid there's not going to be any way of stopping worrying so it's just a case of finding a way to cope with it. Have you tried hypnotherapy? It wasn't doing so much for me last week but it does seem to help general levels. If you're into homeopathy it might be worth considering consulting a homeopath and finding a course of pills to take. Oh and exercise is meant to reduce stress if you have the time for it (my usual problem).

PV glad your diy is going well. The last lot I did was about 6 years ago and was just basic painting nothing as adventurous as yours. Plus dh refused to do it because "he didn't have time". So no more diy for me!

Cheepz glad new job is going well. I know what you mean about the age gap. I know people from my ante-natal class with 3 now and I can't seem to manage a sibling for ds at all. The only way I deal with it is to try and remind myself that they probably have difficulties that I wouldn't want and at the end of the day most people want their own lives and problems as they know them best. I wouldn't mind trying someone else's for a day though

Pinkie sorry to see you join us. Did you have secondary infertility between your dd and ds?

Honey very quiet congratulations. I hope you don't rejoin us (not in a nasty way).

Sorry if I've missed anyone off but there seems to have been an awful lot of posting today.

Off to find scooters!!

Hi all, time for a proper catch up - I've sloped off to bed early with the laptop, just got to try to stop it overheating in amongst the duvet.

Well I did a test today and got a really faint positive, so I guess a few more days before my levels have properly dropped away. It's so odd looking at a faint line, one that you'd be so pleased and secretly excited about seeing ordinarily, and just wishing it would disappear. Oh well, my body is doing what it's supposed to in the general scheme of things. I'll just be a bit more patient. We'll definitely be waiting this month so it makes no real difference, I was just wondering whether I'd start temping again this month or give that a miss too.

birthdoula waiting and enjoying your Morocco trip sounds like a good plan although I can completely understand the urge to try again immediately (especially when you see lucky ladies fall pg again very quickly). I waited last time as well, and for me it comes down to how mentally/emotionally strong I think I am to cope with a failure to conceive or worse, a failure to sustain. Even being strong enough to cope with a positive result was questionable for me.

Jollster, how are you feeling? And how's that house-hunt going?

Harriet - your "been trying 7 years, miscarried first pregnancy, bit gutted" has to be the understatement of the century. 7 years! You poor things. Very odd of the NHS to delay tests on the basis of your age though, seems illogical to wait until your fertility is supposed to be declining at 35 when you are so clearly already having problems. I'm pleased you got a private appt so quickly though, hope it goes well on Thursday.

Oh I'm lost, I've scrolled up and down this thread too many times and have forgotten what I've said and seen.

Oh, Sarah try not to worry about gestational sac thing, but if it's getting you down, maybe think about shelling out for a private one in a few weeks? Even if it stops you obsessing it would be good, 4 weeks can seem like a really long time when you're worried.

This is completely off-topic but I can't be arsed traipsing over to the Style & Beauty thread...plus I recall that one of you might know about this stuff, properly-like. Anyway...my skin has been very sensitive since DS was born, but it seems to be changing a bit now and I feel like now might be my chance to find a facewash that is ok. I use Aveeno oat-based moisturiser and it works really well, no sensitivity to it. I'm sure that when I was back in NZ, they had an Aveeno face wash, but it doesn't seem to exist over here. So I remembered that the body shop used to do a oat&honey? foaming face wash that I used to use quite happily. That also doesn't seem to exist any more. Does anyone know of anything similar?

I know, long-shot and completely off topic, but worth a try??

Just checking in.

pv I have white top units and white walls with a feature red. Bottom units are wenge though. Very good choice.

ladybee hugs

cheepz I tend to get bfps the same cycle I've had a cough. Just saying.

viv we booked a holiday to a malarial country. Discovered that we'd need anti-malaria tabs that were contrawotsits in pregnancy, changed the destination at the last minute. Then got a bfp with ds. Sods law always works when there's lots of money involved.

Nothing to report here. No +ve opk yet. Had acupuncture today so hopefully the egg isn't too far away.

My friend who got pregnant to please her dp to be is utterly miserable. I actually think she's praying for a miscarriage, it's so sad. She's got constant ms and is now in week 16, which can't be helping. Am worried she's got ante-natal depression. Anyone have any experience of this?

Hi all,

Yes tigger15 I had secondary Infertility and never expected to be one of those people that says I was someone who got pg after ivf so you can imagine.

lady bee that's what happened to me and by the time I told the gynae that the number of weeks wasn't moving on the digital tests he went pale. I really feel for you mine was only 6/7weeks ago and I still can't believe it. Also I think you can get aveeno on life.co.uk bliss pharmacy

Not sure how to add me into list but cl is 28-30 days and am cd 24 today. Sorry for being a der.

Sarah don't worry about the size of sac the heartbeat is there and baby growing so it's good sign. Thinking Of you.

Hello to everyone that I have missed got to go

Think that website came out wrong it's bliss life.co.uk

Morning all.

My, this thread chuggs along doesn't it? I do a days work and a trip to the gym to do pilates and it's all gone busy busy!

Hello pinkie, sorry to hear of your loss.

moof, I hope the healing process can start a little for you now. It's an awful time, but I hope you can find the strength to get through it. Have you seen the new memories thread on Miscarriage?

tigger how old is your ds? I saw a metal scooter I was going to purchase for my son's 4th bday that looked quite good. Will dig out the name if you haven't found one.

FX in a big way for you battery, hope you have a lovely weekend. As cheepz says, you get a gold star for effort!

Waves to all, prettyv's champion decorating effort has prompted me to start tugging the wallpaper off in the bedroom that ds kindly started to pull off one morning when he was bored about a year ago

Spoke to the parents in law last night about going for IVF.

MIL's reaction:
'You don't need IVF, you need a conservatory. If you actually have kids your house is too small. You won't be able to have IVF for 6 months anyway (apparently this was a gem of information from my SIL who had two kids naturally and knows nobody that has had an IVF baby) so don't waste your money or energy on that, just make sure your house is big enough and have lots of sex'.

Apart from the last bit being a bit odd coming from my MIL, I thought the whole thing was rather negative and insensitive and I'm feeling rather upset today. Is that unreasonable of me?

Was really trying to be positive and look forward to the initial appointment with the clinic tomorrow, and DH is as committed to the idea of trying now rather than waiting as well, so why is she trying to spoil it for us?!?!?!?!?

Oh Harriet, what a horrid thing to say - particularly so soon after losing your baby. I'm assuming she knows you've been trying for seven years?

I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's just trying to 'manage your expectations' but actually, I think she's just being a cow.

Can your DH have a word with her and tell her that her comments were quite hurtful? IVF is the kind of thing where you need the full emotional support of those around you, so those kind of comments are neither needed or wanted.

She does indeed know we've been trying for 7 years. And she also knows that we were already thinking about ivf before we got our bfp. Although I think she just doesn't realise quite how insensitive she is. When I was having my mc, she brought round nappy sacks and a nappy bin for me to put the used towels into, and then spent two hours telling me what she'd be up to with the baby grandson earlier that day.

DH has strict instructions to call her today and tell her in no uncertain terms that we don't expect any further comments along those lines. Although he hates saying anything like that to his mother as she has a tendency to have a strop and sulk for months, so I'm not sure whether he will or not!

Bloody hell, Harriet , she is indeed being a cow Hope your DH puts her straight! Hope your appt tomorrow goes well and gives you something positive to think about instead.

Harriet that is terrible, truly awful behaviour. I know that people can't really understand unless this has happened to them but for the love of God, just apply a bit of common sense and tact. The nappy sacks in particular while you were losing your wee one . Feel for your DH having to confront her but someone needs to tell her that isn't accpetable. Even when I was having surgery on Monday the doc was insensitve. Asking me to sign the consent form she went into ludicrous graphic detail about how they would remove the 'products' and the associated risks. Was that really necessary to use that terminology to someone that's just lost their baby?

Pinkie, hello, sorry to hear about your loss. That must have been such a blow after expecting your wee miracle baby. My mum told me recently, a few days after my due date, about my cousin having her baby in Oz. Up to that point no one even told me she was pregnant. DH did something similar with a family member home in Ireland. [Dons the judgy pants - who continued to smoke and drink until about 6 months and hadn't been trying in the first place]. Got to understand their motives but its still shite to hide things from us.

Cheepz good to see you settling at your new place of work. Liking your positive spin on the age gap. I know its not the end of the world. I was an only child and found it really lonely and our DD is quite awkward around other kids so I just want to be able to give her a wee pal. I really feel like I am letting her down not being able to give her a sibling, which I know is totally irrational.

YRMOTB I'll have a look for that thread, I hadn't seen it. MrsPretty I miss you too! Devastated to be back where I am but glad to still be here with you smashing lassies. Couldn't tear myself away even when I was pregnant!

Sarah no advice about the sac size but agree to get a private scan if you can to eliminate the 4 week wait. Good luck to you. Jollster, what news pal - hanging in there?

Tigger and all you other clever ladies who advised me on this - I called the recurrent MC clinic to ask about cancellations this morning. Very nice lady explained highly unlikely but would keep me in mind. One hour later calls back to say someone cancelled and appt free on 9th Sept - 7 weeks whole weeks earlier than the other appt! Also exactly 6 weeks after my MC, which is a requirement, so delighted about that.

I'll try and keep more updated with all your news now that I'm feeling a bit more like myself. Hello to everyone I missed out x

cheeeeeeeeepzzzzzy really glad to see you back on the swi list (altho i still hanker for the days when we called it bd-ing....)

i am getting near the end of the grads list now, number two behind meita would you believe.....wish i could tell you that i am really enjoying it but that would be untrue....i am like a hot cross bun-in-the-oven I HATE summer.....that said i am truly APPRECIATING it as this time last year i never thought i would be at 34wks ever again.....

good luck to all you ladies and hope to see you all on the grads list THIS month....

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone, I know I have not been on here much recently, although I have been keeping an eye on everyone. To be honest I have found being pregnant so soon after a mc very difficult, being very stressed all the time. All has been going well until today when I started bleeding, not much, just light bleeding, but that is how the last mc began so I am finding it very hard to not panic. I've been to A and E, they said try not to worry, it's not much blood etc and I am booked in for a scan tomorrow morning. I just can't help thinking that it is happening all over again- I was even examined in the same cubicle as last time.
Anyway, sorry for suddenly returning out of the blue and being all ME ME ME. I just felt I need to talk to other people who can understand how I'm feeling, if you know what I mean, I hope I'm not being inappropriate.
Ladybee and Moofold, I am so sorry for your losses, there are no words but my heart goes out to you. Life is so bloody unfair.
Sorry not to name check everyone else at the moment, but hope you are all well.

Dorcas Im so sorry your going through all this stress. Fingers crossed for you hun.

Harriet Your MIL sounds like a real insensitive one! how can ppl be like that???

Am at work and really shoulds be doing some actual work but just thought i would come on and say hi!

Had cramps all day yesterday but they have gone now as have my sore boobs, so i was bricking it this morning that i am going to MC but feeling a bit calmer this afternoon. I thiink i need to just realise that ACTUALLY this is not in my control at all.. what will happen will happen and worrying doesnt actually achieve anything. (lets see how i feel about that tomorrow! )

Oh dorcas sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can totally imagine what a worry it is for you, and you're TOTALLY in the right place for a friendly and understanding ear. I'll keep everything crossed for you that everything is fine.

Same goes for you sarah - I'm sure your cramps were just your bean making room for him or herself.

Dorcas so sorry this is happening .

Keeping things crossed, same for you sarah

Hulloooo all,

Blimey I've been out of the loop for a couple of weeks due to nightmare work scenario but now there is a little light at the end of the tunnel so I'm back.

Loads of news on here as literally taken me hours to catch up.

Moof my heart goes out to you. Isn't it incredible how the medical staff completely can lose sight of the fact that they're dealing not only with people's feelings but with their hopes, dreams and life. And (dons judgy pants and gets a bit hoity) I'm always more shocked when it's a woman.

Big hug also to Ladybee.

Big flippin', feckin' and congrats to Magic 8 - that's fantabulous news.

PrettyV we renovated/decorated last summer and twas a nightmare for various reasons. All fun when you're swanning about picking up swatches and trying to decide between 'Goji or Tuscany' but then when you have to actually follow through with the work, that's when my attention deficit kicks in!
Well done for being so ambitious and productive and at least it keeps you away from the fish and online stalking symptom comparing.

Cheepz back in the game but I know what you mean about focussing on wanting something so much that you lose sight of it. I also had a self-imposed WTTC after my MMC (timing just wasn't going to be right) and I seemed to go through three phases: 1)felt too fragile to try again then 2) desperately wanted to try again but timing wasn't right and then 3)almost didn't want to try again because I had talked myself out of TTC mode and had sort of blocked it out so found it hard to get them momentum up again and remember the reasons that had made us start trying in the first place.
What am I trying to say? Just mostly that I empathise . . . .maybe I could have just said that!

Last cycle ended for me with a late heavy period which I think was failed implantation (just to add to my whole pile of work related crapola)but onwards and upwards.

Harriet your MIL deserves haddocking and I know just the laydeez to help . ..

ps Congrats on any BFPs

pps I feel like I wanna do Jerry Springer style 'Go battery! Go *battery!'

Thanks Sarah, Viv and Hairy for your kind words. I am always so touched by how lovely people on this thread are, even with all that they are going through themselves, you are truly amazing ladies. Sarah I am sorry that you have worry and stress too, I'll be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed for you too.
Just trying to relax (yeah, right..) and take it easy although I know that there is nothing I can do, other than just wait and see.

Dorcas just to say I'm thinking of you and fingers crossed for tomorrow. Can you watch a DVD or crap tv to take your mind away for tonight? Hope that's not insensitive or anything.

And thinking of you too Sarah it's all such a rollercoaster but thank goodness for the lovely people on this thread. They've always got such wise and supportive things to say. I just nod in agreement because they say it better.

Anyway a big un MN hug to you both and anyone else needing one. x

youremindme ds is 3 1/2. The minimicro comes heavily recommended on mumsnet. I just need to find a discount code now.

Moof glad you managed to beat the system. I can't even remember if that was my tip or not but another useful one for people who want to be referred and haven't yet received it - if you have a hospital number already for anything else, call the appointment line and ask to be booked in for the relevant clinic and chances are they won't check whether you are or aren't. A friend of mine did it successfully.

Harriet that is insensitive and unacceptable. It's your dh's job to work out a way to either stop her behaving that way (probably impossible after all these years) or ring fence you so she can't upset you any more.

Pinkie thanks for the reply. I know what you mean about can't believing it. I don't think I have the strength to go through ivf. I have enough trouble controlling the already artificial hormone going round my body without adding one that I haven't got 27 years experience dealing with. Although at the moment I don't feel like I have the strength to carry on even one more cycle so this might be the last for a while.

On the job front I got contacted by a headhunter (nicer word for recruitment agent) about another position today which actually sounded really interesting. It might have had something to do with the fact that it's technically offering the hours I want, a higher salary, amazing benefits and really interesting work somewhere. One of those must be wrong because they can't all be true but hopefully I'll get an interview and get to quiz the company on these. So that then brings me back to what if I get pg now and start new job after notice period of 3 months. I'll be at .... exactly the same stage of pg as when I started the job I'm currently trying to leave . Not ideal but manageable I guess. It all goes back to life just seems too much at the moment.

Like the sound of the kitchen choices, we've just done a load of redecorating in the bedrooms upstairs so need to save up the pennies before we can attack kitchen & bathroom...although the way the boiler has been acting recently (and not so recently) I have a feeling it is going to take up any cash we can scrape together before too long.
Argh, and the car. Got to do something about it. It's been sitting outside our house un-driveable for months while I summon up the courage to call a garage to tow it away and look at it. Have I mentioned I hate cars? tried to get DH to take the task of sorting out, but he appears to be as bad as me, and seeing he doesn't actually drive I guess I can't blame him for his lack of interest.

digitalgirl that's tough for your friend - hard enough getting through those first months when you know it's what you really want. I don't know much about antenatal depression though. Goodness, must be hard for you to discuss this with her, wanting to be pg yourself and knowing she isn't sure about it while being pg herself. Think you're being an excellent friend.

Thanks for the website recommendation pinkie

Harriet the only thing I can think of is that maybe your MIL wishes so much that you didn't need IVF, that she's in denial herself? I just can't understand her actions - a nappy bin and bags? When did she buy them? When did you tell her you were pg? Hope appt tomorrow gives you something positive to look forward to.

Moof sorry the dr subjected you to such an insensitive discussion. I'm sure there must be a better way to describe the process and get consent. Glad your appt has been moved up. I got my letter today, 18th Oct, but I'm ok with that as the nurse said he'd want to have our test results through and that the chromosomes one took a bit longer. There's something about having that date as well that has made me feel quite relaxed about it all.

dorcas, huge hug for you. There's no point in me telling you bleeding is very common in pregnancy etc etc. I just really hope that it isn't the worst case, and that you'll have good news tomorrow at the scan. Fingers crossed. For you too Sarahmia, you are absolutely right, there really isn't anything you can do either way once you've made it to a BFP, then you basically do have to just put it in the lap of the gods. Doesn't make it any easier to accept though.

Harriet your MIL sounds like a catch

I am feeling like I don't know whether to post here or in grads. Am going to beg for early scan next week, and all being well I'll feel able to show my face in grads, but am a bit in limbo at the moment! Still keep expecting it to go wrong, and am on mega knicker check. No symptoms to speak of, which doesn't help. Have got one spare CBD and am tempted to PO it tomorrow morning and see if it's gone up to 3-4 weeks (so I can get in a complete state if it hasn't).

Dorcas I've never had bleeding in pregnancy before but have seen lots of others who have and have still gone on to be fine. I think this has happened to Redheadgal and Clare from the grads thread. Also when i was in hospital on Monday there was a girl there who was bleeding, but had also bled in both previous pregnancies and had 2 children despite this. Hope you're managing to cope alright, Freezing is right about trying to zone out for a bit watching some nonsense or other. I hope tomorrow brings you good news x

Julia good to see you back Tigger excellent news about the job - hope sod's law comes into play and you get instantly upduffed!