30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

I had headache all day yesterday too RieRie, 'tis how my droid expresses itself .

I think HB and Dromster are "lezzing off", as my friend Catherine would say. They do make an excellent couple. I hope their husbands don't mind.

Don't cry Gin. Have a lovely antibiotic cocktail and a cuddle with me. I still have your heart on my best cardie, so think of you all the time

. Lezzers! Does anyone want to with me? Seeing as I have aged ten years in two months, have rubbish hair, the droid, and I give away the endings of books on the World Wide Web. Oh go on. Lyra?

Go on then Aries, but only because

a) Gin is already taken (by extreme),
b) I fancy your bloke, and
c) I want to see a dolphin.

If you don't mind a sad/horrible story, then Monster Love by Carol Topolski is ace. And one of my fave books, which I can read over and over again is The Romance Reader by Pearl Abraham (which is about 15 yrs old but so well-written). Would also recommend Stones From The River by Ursula Hegi.

Un Lun Dun by China Mieville is a teen book, but it is really imaginative and great romp of an adventure.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer is a v easy read but satisfying - perfect for lazing about with.

I read at least 2 books a week but am crap at remembering good titles (or holiday books). Am currently reading The Passage by Justin Cronin, which I think I've mentioned before, but it's a whopper of a tome, so not suitcase-friendly.

Oh. So not because of my alluringness then. I'll have to think about it.

Don't fancy him. He's a prick!

No-one wants to lezz off with me

Is 'I want to see a dolphin' some sort of weird lesbotic euphemism?

But Scorps you are already lezzed off with Poll, what more do you want? I have everyone paire off in my head. Which reminds me, Ariel, you are going out with Cass.

If I had said "I want to see your dolphin", then I guess you could have interpreted it in that way. But as I didn't, you are a pervemonger.

Boo, i've got a head ache too and have done for about 3 days. Wonder if my droid has been conspiring in a cybernetic cylon style conspiracy with yours lyra

I would happily lezz off scorps but feeling extremely un alluring at the mo, so I doubt you would want to. Prob better off waiting for someone else as i'm sure a disorderly queue (scrummage) will form.

Its friday and I am hard wired to want to get hammered but I can't just in case even tho I know i am kidding myself. pffft.

Also just took a potential new car to the garage and found that it is probably worth about £550 less than asking price. OK so i have negotiation chips but do i want a car that is that borked? TBH its just put me off and now I'm back to square one. I fugging hate HATE cars.

sorry, bleat bleat. someone knock me out pls.

Whats all this about dolphins?

Don't Ann Summers do a Dolphin dildo? Tried to link but work have surf watched it - no fun types.

Scorps I would like to be les-be-friends but I would be afraid my bush might be too oppressed and constrained tidy for such a wild and natural lady such as yourself.

But if you're open to the idea, hop on baby.

I am at this thread.

Makes me very glad HO is an impoverished teacher. And a decent human being.

If I ever feel mild censure towards the OM, I hie off to MN to read about how shit everyone else's 'D' P's seem to be. Absolutely astonishing behaviour. Sometimes I wonder whether they're just rehashing Hollyoaks storylines for kicks.

Disclaimer: I'm none too sure what Hollyoaks actually is...

Thanks lyra you are lovely. A total utter shit balls up was not the best thing to end the week on. Was feeling bit rubbish anyway. Am home now and have managed not to collapse in a sobbing heap.

I would like to point out that my love for all you beshies is innocent and pure. Even if you are a filthy lot of hussies

Not new like that, just been bra shopping to find something to contain this pair. Bloody broke now.

I have no suggestions for the book chat. When on holiday I like to read Marian Keyes and assorted light stuff. MrM always takes an entire library, adds more at the airport, then manages to find an English language bookshop to buy even more. The man gets twitchy if he doesn't have a book in his hand and starts obsessively reading cereal boxes.

Oh gin, sorry to hear about the UTI and work fuckup. I hope it turns out to not be so bad.

Stinky, been trying a year (give or take a couple of weeks!), in that time it's mostly 6 week cycles but thrown a 3 and a couple of 8s in as well!!! GP v. nice, reckons she'll refer me to fertility clinic in September if necessary, thinks that at present, nothing strange, nothing outside parameters (why am I not UTD then?!) but please to keep calm and keep shagging at regliar intervals (that'll please DH!)

OK, didn't realise there's no LOL-ing allowed here, will promise not to use again if someone can tell me what MSDP is!!!! SO, are we a no on ROFL as well? What about PMSL? Surely that would be acceptable to the average BESH (if there is such a thing!)

Squish, ever so glad GP was helpful though you have been waiting so long. It would be very much in the spirit of the BESH if you were to get diffed immediately prior to your FC appointment

MSDP = Mass Summer Diffment Project.

Acronyms and Initialisms are not permitted here unless riotously inventive and funny . They are no better than b*y d*t and other abominations of that kind and are met with pervy savage whippings.

This is quite simply because We Are Better Than Absolutely Everyone Else. TRUFAX.

Welcome!

Squishy, we shall enlighten you on the MSDP if you will agree to restrict yourself to just a single exclamation point at the end of a sentence.

Deal?

xpost HB. You gave in too easily!

One of my favourite's is Gin's IDNGAFWYABUON in response to AIBU. Ha, those were the days.

I'm too much of a softie for this game...

Ha! Gin = priceless.