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Original poster

Xmas plans with a newborn

123 replies

Junebugbug · 11/08/2026 13:20

Hi I will have a 5/6 week old for Christmas this year. We usually stay over my parents house for Christmas because we live about an hour away and all our friends and family (incl partners) live in their village. However it is often stressful and I hate packing everything up when it was just us and I worry how it will be with a newborn. I do struggle with my dad's negativity a lot and often feel like a child again.

The problem is the one hour drive to see anyone, we do want to see friends and family over Christmas but I also don't know how I feel with driving back and forth?

But this seems better than having to pack up everything for the baby and living out of a suitcase.

My husband thinks it will be fine staying at my parents house because we are both off work and is thinking what else will we be doing.

I should mention we LOVE Christmas. We love our family traditions but I'm not sure whether it will be too much to keep driving with a newborn.

I definitely think I can't hack staying over, and I don't really think I want to host a Xmas dinner - can anyone tell me what they did in a similar situation (medium distance away from everyone) to balance loneliness and mental sanity.

Any suggestions would be welcome!

OP posts:
mrsscroodledoodle · 11/08/2026 13:24

You might need to edit your post OP 🤣

I'd drive there and back if it's only an hour each way.

Peonies12 · 11/08/2026 13:27

Honestly, plan to stay home just you, your husband and baby. I could barely sit down a month after my birth due to an infection ,and could only breastfeed lying down. Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Don't make any plans, and if you feel up to it, you can drive over for a bit. Also you need to be careful with exposing the baby to lots of germs, especially as they won't have had any vaccinations yet. You will be sleep deprived and your hormones will be all over the place.

Rose785 · 11/08/2026 13:27

Could you maybe suggest driving to meet half way for a cosy pub lunch? Maybe do it around xmas like xmas eve or boxing day. Then keep xmas day cosy at home with your new baby?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 11/08/2026 13:29

Honestly, stay at home.
It'll be very chaotic driving back and forth with such a young baby, and you'll be exhausted because you won't have slept for weeks.

SJM1988 · 11/08/2026 13:29

I think it depends on your dynamic.
An hour is pretty close and for us we would be happy to do that drive there and back every day. But also I would prefer to host at mine to save on the driving and the whole someone having to drive situation.

As the years have gone on with our DCs, we have moved to always being at home Christmas eve evening to Boxing Day evening. People are welcome to visit and I am happy to host, we just don't travel for those three days now. Sometimes people visit, sometimes people stay for a few days, sometimes noone comes. But at least every year we know we are at home

sesquipedalian · 11/08/2026 13:31

OP, you won’t know how you’ll feel until after you’ve had your baby - so just don’t make any definite plans until it ‘s here.

mrsscroodledoodle · 11/08/2026 13:32

just to be clear, I meant drive there and back once! on Christmas day. Do the rest at home x

BigBlueFrog · 11/08/2026 13:33

Do what you want or just decide once the baby is born as obviously will depend on how you feel but I think you’re way overthinking this. A one hour drive is nothing and babies are also very portable at that age. We took a 12 hour flight to spend Christmas with family when my youngest was 6 weeks old, and we went on a trip 4 hours drive away when eldest was 8 weeks old, all completely fine. It’s boring sitting in the house with a newborn especially in Winter so you might be glad to have a change of scenery 6 weeks in!

Arregaithel · 11/08/2026 13:34

@Junebugbug definitely don't host.

Depending on when Christmas lunch is served, it'll be easy to time your arrival and departure, in a single day, an hour's drive isn't really that onerous.

Elieza · 11/08/2026 13:35

plan to stay home. if anyone guilt trips you for not doing anything you have a great excuse this year. it gives then the chance to do things without relying on you to do this or that or take you for granted for things youre just not fit for as youre sleep deprived and knackered!

not making arrangements means you can see how you feel nearer the time and allow people to pop in for daytime visits or you go out for daytime visits if you want.

i’d stay home and enjoy my new family though! bah humbug for one year off!!

ForDucksSake · 11/08/2026 13:35

Honestly it depends on how you want to spend your Christmas. We drove 8 hours to spend a few days with my parents and see friends when DS was 4 weeks old and, although we had to take the kitchen sink, it was fine. You should do what feels best for you and if you want to stay home then just do that, don't feel pressured by anyone else. Just enjoy your baby on your first Christmas together.

Retro12 · 11/08/2026 13:39

I would just drive there and back, if it's only an hour. The roads will be clear and you then have the choice when to dip out if it's getting too much.

mummabubs · 11/08/2026 13:50

Assuming you don't end up having a c section which means you're can't drive (not sure from your post if DH drives?) I wouldn't write it off for that reason alone.
However, I do think you know you best. We travelled for three hours in the car for Christmas with our 8 week old and we spent two weeks away. The bits that were with my family were relaxing, but I can remember crying the entire time we stayed for at my in-laws house. I was exhausted, overwhelmed and we were having feeding difficulties which made me feel low and vulnerable anyway. If your family is only an hour away you could always go and see how you feel and come home early if it's too much?

GetBackUpAgain · 11/08/2026 14:09

An hour away really isn't that far and as others have said the roads will be quiet. Drive there and back, you can leave when you want and be back home for your own home comforts.

Sjh15 · 11/08/2026 14:12

I have 2 small children and in your shoes I’d drive there and back in one day. I’ve done that before x

LoyalGoldMentor · 11/08/2026 14:13

Wait and see how you feel. Tell your family you'll let them know after baby is born. I know, after all mine I just wanted to be at home on my pyjamas!

rosiewalker · 11/08/2026 14:16

An hour away from family is absolutely nothing. I do 2.5 hours all the time to see family and have done that in a day with children. If you want to see family and you live a distance it’s just what you’ve got to do.

if you are not bothered then stay home as everyone else has suggested.

Coconutter24 · 11/08/2026 14:17

I would just drive there in the morning and drive back in the evening, it’s only an hour. It means you don’t have to stay over and you get to have your Christmas meal hosted for you so you don’t have to host.

nikkianns · 11/08/2026 14:19

I’d wait and see how the birth goes and how you feel before pre planning anything! I was still bleeding some at 5/6 weeks PP, and last Christmas my baby was 3mo and our usual routine is early morning and presents at home, 15 mins drive to my partners parents for breakfast and kids presents, then 20 mins from there to my mums for Xmas dinner/more kids presents and the evening, then 5 mins round the corner home for bed. We did that with our 3mo, plus wider family piled in unplanned at my mums and that was a lot, I would have struggled staying elsewhere or making the hour drive there and back, you really can’t know until after you’ve had your baby.

LondonKara · 11/08/2026 14:20

I sympathise with you wanting to see people as I was the same. Staying at home with my partner and baby at Christmas would have felt very isolating for me.

I wouldn't drive back and forth though, one drive only as packing up is so involved.

Is renting an Airbnb an option? So you get to see the family but it's less stressful.

Bibs23456 · 11/08/2026 14:21

I had a 3 week old Xmas 2024 and honestly wasn’t up to anything (I know your little one will be older) but honestly I wouldn’t make any concrete plans until after baby is here and you know how you are doing.

Greendiamondbee · 11/08/2026 14:23

My baby would've been around the same age at Christmas. I felt shell-shocked at my in-laws'. I was worn out, struggling to feed, and still very hormonal. Baby was passed around for pictures that I didn't appear in, and I sat in a separate room trying to hold it together.

I guess with it being your own parents, it may feel slightly more homely and relaxed.

You have to do what feels the most comfortable for you at the time. Giving as much notice as you can but being confident in how your feeling at the time.

Neveranynamesleft · 11/08/2026 14:24

If I was in your shoes I would be telling everyone that you do not want to make any plans and will be staying home this year. You do not know how you are going to feel after the birth and nobody can predict the weather for driving that time of year. Do yourself a favour, put your feet up and enjoy your first cosy family Christmas at home.

MargoMyDear · 11/08/2026 14:24

I always found it easier with my children when with other family. I lived 2 hours away from my parents when our children were little and frequently drove back and forth.

anothermumoftwo · 11/08/2026 14:28

I would drive there and back, reasons being

  1. babies sleep amazing in the car and the actual drive there and back to keep baby sleeping is going to be something you probably will do a lot of, if you have a problem sleeper
  2. as your child/ren get older you are going to want to spend xmas at home more and more, whilst they are babies they are actually very easy to travel with, especially if you are breastfeeding. So enjoy one of the last xmas with everyone together and someone else cooking and doing all the cleaning. Added bonus is everyone loves to hold newborns, so you get to have a couple hours baby free, then baby sleeping in car and then your own bed at the end of it all. Its a win win in my book. You can also tell everyone you are still physically recovering from birth so you feel guilt free sitting on a comfy couch doing nothing all day. Its going to be a blissfull break. When your dad starts talking negatively, close your eyes and take a nap, even sneak off to a bedroom and have a snooze ....guilt free too 😆